Lay Report: A Columbian Latina in EE

Kind like this, except with a smaller waist and covered in tattoos and piercings

After a tricky start to my time in this city, normal service is starting to resume. I have a phone full of leads and not enough time to take them all out. I banged one of those leads on the first date last night. Here’s the story…

Last Saturday, around 6pm I was sipping on a gin and tonic whilst fishing with Mr S (a fellow Irishman and infrequent poster on City daygame) who had just arrived the previous evening. I still wasn’t back to 100% and was only opening 4 or 5 sets a day, I’d also just had my first notch so the hunger wasn’t quite there. As we sat there discussing the pros and cons of having Jose Mourinho as boss at United we both clock a real outlier passing by our table.

Valeria was fairly short with long brown curly hair. She was wearing a white t-shirt and big baggy hippy style pants (they were horrible). Both her arms were covered in dense tattoos and both of her lips were pierced. She was walking very slowly down the street as if she were floating. Mr S turned to me;

Roy, ye haaaf ta do dat one

Meeeeh, but she’s not even that hot (she’s a high 6 at best)

I knooooow, but ye just haaaff ta

Having been convinced my Mr S’s fool-proof argument, I got up and made chase.

Valeria had a loud American accent, however, it wasn’t the annoying nasally type, it was still quite pleasant. She was born in Colombia (this would be another new flag for me) hence the more exotic look, but her father was Serbian and they moved here when she was young. The set was going very smoothly until she pointed at my t-shirt and started laughing….

OH MY GOD, is that Donald Trump on your T-shirt

Yes, it is. Top marks for observation

Are you kidding me? You know I’m a feminist right?

My mother told me there are three things you should never speak to a woman about – Politics, religion and ex-boyfriends.

Well, I love to talk about politics and religion!

Good for you. But let’s save that for another time.

Having recovered the set I moved towards the number close and one of her male orbiter friends she was about to meet introduced himself to me. I quickly said hi to him before giving Valeria my phone so she could tap her number in.

More Roy Walker Text Game Mastery.

I met her at 8pm on Monday at the place where everyone meets in this city. She looked prettier having put on some make-up. Valeria had also put on some tight pants which showed off her rather large botswana.

We exchanged pleasantries before I told her I was taking her to an Irish bar. She told me that she doesn’t drink beer. I said fine, drink wine then. She doesn’t drink that either. Ok, drink Gin. She said, “Yes, I can drink that”.

We sat outside and went through the comfort fluff whilst sipping on G&T’s. She was actually a really interesting girl. Valeria told me how she is 21 and studying two degrees concurrently and how she is also a power lifter – should would be competing later in the year. The power-lifting combined with a mix of Columbian and Serbian genes would surely guarantee a fantastic backside thought me. She told me about what it was like to grow up in Columbia and then spend her teenage years in Serbia. I was having fun so we ordered another round of G&T’s. We drank those pretty quickly as we both smoked away at my cigarretes.

I told her I wanted to take her to another place and she had no hesitations. I paid the cheque and walked her to a quieter place at the end of the same road. We sat upstairs on a couch. I made sure that she sat on my left side to make the giant cold sore on the right corner of my mouth less obvious. She didn’t mention it once.

We ordered another round and I started escalating. I didn’t feel the need for the questions game because this girl had quite a strong frame and the conversation was pretty free flowing and getting more and more sexual anyway.

As we were half way through the drinks I told her I needed to go to the bathroom. As I got up I said;

I’m going to go to the toilet now, when I come back I’m going to try to kiss you. You will probably push me a way and that’s perfectly fine. But I’ll keep trying until you kiss me. 

Valeria broke out in a huge smile but looked at me as if to say “wow, this guy is not shy”.

As I came back from the toilet she got up to go to the ladies. I sat on the couch playing on my phone. When she came back she pounced on me, grabbing my face and pulling me in for the kiss. I tried my hardest to only use the left side of my mouth, but it was difficult as she was quite an aggressive girl.

I pushed her off and we resumed talking about the male/female mating strategies. This girl understood r/k theory and was saying things to me that I would normally say to girls on dates. It all felt a bit surreal and I told her this. She told me more about her fucked up child hood. Her father left when she was two and her mother used to and still does beat her. At this point I knew it was in the bag.

We finished the drinks and I told her we should go.

Is this the part where you invite me back to your place?

Wow, wow young lady. I’m not that easy. But you can come back if you insist.

I paid the cheque and walked her straight to the apartment. I gave her a little tour of the flat and she was very impressed. She sat on the couch in the living room as I got myself a beer from the fridge and poured her some water. I put on some music and minutes later all our clothes were on the floor. I quite enjoyed banging her doggy whilst spanking her big Columbian ass. It was a sight to behold.

 

I didn’t last very long the first time, so 20 minutes or so we went at it again. This girl was actually fun to bang but I probably won’t see her again. She was angling to stay over but I told her I don’t sleep very well with another girl in the bed. Soon after this she ordered herself an uber and off she went into the night. I just hope I haven’t given her herpes.