Lay Report: A Spaniard with a Boyfriend

Imagine this, but squashed… and with braces.

Finally, a new daygame lay. This was my longest “dry spell” in years, but it never felt that way, mainly because I simply haven’t been trying very hard since I returned from Moscow last year. But the hunger is returning as we inch towards Spring. It’s still not quite there given that I’ve only done 25 sets this year and we seem to be getting hit by storm after storm in London, but when the dust settles, I’ll be on the prowl once more. My current plan is to take at least two months off work and go on jaunts in the usual haunts, with maybe one new location thrown in to mix things up a bit. But let’s get back to the task at hand…

Two Fridays ago I arranged a daygame/bargame session with Rasputin. The daygame part never really happened. I’d done one set prior to meeting up with him, it went well, I got a cute Canadian girls’ number and she ended up flaking after replying to the initial feeler.

I met a thirsty Rasputin at Piccadilly Circus at around 8pm and he was keen to go straight to the pub. I didn’t raise any objections, so we walked towards a bar on glasshouse street. We walked and talked and as we got closer to the pub, I spotted a short girl with long black hair looking my way as she walked in the opposite direction. I let her pass to get a look from behind and I was not disappointed, she wore tight denim jeans which showed off a spectacular backside and a tiny waist.

“I have to do that mate; I’ll see you in the pub” I said to Rasputin.

Off I went and as soon as I got in front a huge smile broke out on her face to reveal a glistening metallic grill fixed to her teeth.

I persevered to find out that Maria was from Spain, her English wasn’t great, and she’d recently moved to London to improve it. I asked her where she was off to and she told me she was going home. I told her I was going to the pub with my friend and pointed at it.

“I work there!” Said Maria

I took her number, if Rasputin hadn’t just met up with me, I’d have idated her then and there. Off she went and I didn’t think much of it. When it was my turn to get a round in, I went inside the bar, and there was Maria pulling pints behind the bar. I approached and she waved at me with a huge smile before hitting her colleague on the arm, she also looked at me and smiled. Maria had obviously told her about our street encounter.

“I thought you were going home?” Said a very confused me.

“Que? Home? No, I work!” Said Maria

“Ok, two pints of Punk IPA please”

I re-joined Rasputin outside and told him about the confusing episode, “Spanish girls really are retards” he concluded, I was in no position to disagree.

We went about our night, frequenting the usual spots and opening the odd two set as we got more and more tipsy. At around midnight we went to a clubby bar at the bottom of Carnaby street and carried on opening two-sets and not really getting anywhere. Then I saw Maria again, I waved at her to come over and join us but she was with a big group of people. At the end of the night both Rasputin and I went home empty handed.

The next morning I awoke to a message from Maria asking how my night was. We pinged back and forth and set up a coffee date for later that afternoon before she went to work in the evening. Over coffee I found out that Maria was 23 years old, was studying dentistry in Spain and was only going to be in London for another month and… that she had a boyfriend. “Yes, he is in Spain, but don’t worry about it” said Maria.

I took her advice and never raised the topic again. I did some light escalation over the coffee and she accepted all of it. It seemed on.

I asked Maria why she never came to say hello to me in the clubby bar the previous night. “Every time I came to find you, you were talking to a different girl!” said an unimpressed Maria. “Oh, yeah, sometimes I do that” said me, it was the best I could come up with at the time.

Off she went to work, and over the next few days we arranged to meet 3 or 4 times only for her to cancel shortly before we were due to meet. I couldn’t decide if she was conflicted about meeting because of her boyfriend, or if she was just retarded, either way, it was getting annoying.

On Saturday past we had arranged to meet during the day. I pinged her in the morning to suggest 3pm. She took a few hours to reply before eventually asking if we could meet a bit later. I then suggested 6pm and again she wasn’t replying, I was at the end of my tether.


This seemed to work, and eventually we agreed to meet at 9pm. Of course, she was late, turning up to the meeting point at around 9.45pm. But boy, did she turn up. Maria was dressed in black high heels, tight black leather leggings, a black boob tube and a black furry coat. She could have passed for an 8 if it wasn’t for the grill on her beck, but she looked amazing anyway and I told her so.

The date itself was a breeze, she fell into my frame right away and apologised for being late. When I got her to the first bar I was blabbering away about something and she put her finger on my lips to shush me and kissed me. This girl was horny and all I had to do was not fuck it up.

Soon after this I took her the usual cocktail bar near my apartment. Upon entry the doorman asked Maria for ID and she didn’t have any.

“Hey, why aren’t you asking me for ID?!” said me.

“Cos you don’t look underage, mate” said the bouncer in a very accusatory fashion.

I laughed in his face before turning to Maria “OK, let’s go somewhere else”.

I walked her straight to my apartment and before long the clothes were off, and I was doing her doggy raw dog whilst admiring her spectacular behind.

These are the moments where I remind myself that I still love daygame.