Lay Report: Bad boy, bad boy


I’ve been back in London a few weeks now and have only done a handful of sets since returning, I just haven’t had the time for it. But here’s a story about me SDLing a girl on my last day in Moscow…

It was a Saturday afternoon, my last full day in Moscow and I was severely hung over from the night before, I’d hit the bars with Seven daygame and didn’t get home til 6am. As a result, I didn’t wake up until around 1:30pm and by the time I eventually got my shit together to go out for some food it was 2:30pm. I messaged some of the lads to see if anyone wanted to join me for a late breakfast. No-one did.

It was the start of a 2 day celebration for Moscow’s 872nd birthday, the streets were rammed full of people and there was a big event happening on Tverskaya which meant that the road was closed to traffic and it also made it a pain in the arse to cross. I was grumpy as I manoeuvred my way through the crowds to get to my favourite breakfast establishment on Kamergirsky.

When I finally made it to Kamergirsky I noticed that almost every restaurant was full and there was a real carnival atmosphere about the place. As I made my way down the street, I saw a short girl with dirty blonde hair walking towards me. She was dressed quite formally; a beige blazer, a grey blouse, pink skirt and some pink high heels. As she got closer, I noticed that she was looking straight at me. Elena was very pretty, but I was quite reluctant to open as I hadn’t even had my first coffee of the day. I let her pass and as I turned to check her out from behind, she looked back at me. “Aaaaah Fuckit!” thought me.

I walked briskly to catch her up and opened her from the side (shock, horror) as the street was very busy.

“Excuuuuuuse me, I couldn’t help but notice that you were looking at me as you past by. You’re very cute, but it’s rude to stare”

“ahahaha well I thought you looked nice too”

Elena gave me a compliment straight off the bat, so I knew I had to take this further. I asked what she was up to and she told me that she was just walking. I told her that she looked awfully formal for just walking around. She said that she always dresses well. Gotta love them Russians.

“Well, I was just on my way for some breakfast, would you like to join me?”

“Breakfast?! It’s 3pm!”

“I had a late-night last night, I haven’t even had my morning coffee yet”

“OK, well I was going to get some food anyway, so why not!”

I walked us to two or three venues, but they were all packed, so I walked us in the direction of my apartment and found a nice place where we could sit outside in the sun. We sat down, I ordered a black coffee, a glass of red wine (to take the edge off) and a burger. She ordered an aperol spritz and a salad.

I found out that Elena was from a small town in Siberia, was 24 and was a schoolteacher. We talked a lot about travel – she was amazed to hear about my years spent in Africa and I made sure to play up my bad boy/adventurous side. I told her how I’d been to jail twice, how I’d surfed in shark infested waters whilst never being able to swim properly, how I’d climbed the highest mountain in Africa without doing any training for it (all true). She was mesmerised.

I’ve come to realise down the years that playing up to the bad boy caricature helps massively when pushing for fast sex – she needs to know that you are capable of anything at any moment. This also gives her more plausible deniability when justifying it in her head “Oh it wasn’t my fault I opened my legs, it was the bad boy who made me do it”.

After the meal I suggested we go for a walk, she was in. I walked us in the direction of my apartment – she didn’t ask where we were going. It was now around 5pm and the streets were getting busier and busier as we approached my front door.

“I live here, lets go up for a glass of wine and get away from the madness of these streets”

“You live here?! It’s so close”

“Yeah, I like to stay in the centre of the city when I travel. Just come up for a little while, you can leave if you feel uncomfortable”

“OK, just a little while”.

As we entered the room Elena took her heels off by the door. Most Russian girls do this without being asked. I took my boots off and poured us a glass of wine each. Elena sat herself down in the kitchen, as far away from the bedroom as possible.

After a few moments I invited her to the bedroom to check out the view out of the huge bay windows. She was impressed. I told her how I was told off by my Airbnb host for smoking cigarettes out the window on my first night. I didn’t tell her that there was a half-naked girl stood beside me as I did so. I sat her on my lap as I put on some music on the laptop. I started stroking her hair and at this point she turned to kiss me. She was still very timid, so I got up and left her in the room whilst I went to the bathroom.

When I returned I asked her to sit on my lap again. We started kissing, this time more passionately. I picked her up in my arms (she weighed about 45 kgs so this wasn’t difficult) and carried her to the bed.

“No, no, no! No sex!”

“Ok, let’s just get more comfortable”.

We fooled around on the bed for a few minutes. I tried to rub her pussy on top of her underwear, but she kept pushing my hand away. I rolled off again, returning to the computer to play some more youtube videos. Then again 10 minutes later I picked her up and took her to the bed. I was on top of her fully clothed and she reached down to rub my dick whilst I was kissing her. I unzipped and pulled it out and put her hand on it. She tugged away whilst I reached underneath her panties and started fingering her. She pushed my hand away and again said “No sex”.

I got fully undressed and to my surprised she started sucking me off. I pulled off her skirt and underwear and returned to fingering her. She was getting very turned on, so I pulled out a condom and quickly put it on. Again she said “No sex!”. Moments later she jumped on top of me and I slid it in.

“Bad boy, bad boy, baaaad boy” She moaned as she rode my cock like I was a rodeo bull.

The sex was fantastic and after I blew my load, she lay there with her entire body trembling – she’d clearly had an orgasm. I asked her when she’d last had sex and was unsurprised when she said over a year ago. We got dressed and I told her I had to go meet my friends.  As we made our way back out to the street, she asked me “Be honest, how many girls have you slept with in Moscow this time?”

“Ask no questions, hear no lies”. I try to avoid lying to girls.

At around 7pm we said our goodbyes, just under four hours after meeting each other.

Lay Report: Always Have Preservatives

She was slimmer, younger and therefore hotter than this. But it’s the right type of face.

After an action-packed week of debauchery in Moscow I decided to go to St. Petersburg to see a couple of old flames and allow my liver some recovery time. Whilst there I removed one girl from my marriage list, moved another up the pecking order, almost had a same day lay with a new girl and hung out with a couple of old wings. Upon leaving Saint Petersburg all symptoms of gout and diabetes were on the wane, I had a few good night’s sleep under my belt, and I was refreshed and eager to get back to Moscow. I touched down at around 5pm, was in my apartment by 6pm and on the streets by 6.30pm.

As I left the flat, I got a message from Seven asking if I wanted to join him and Mr White for dinner. All I wanted to do was sets, but I did need to eat. “Ok, I’ll see you boys there” I replied. I made my way down Tverskaya towards Kamergirsky and spotted a huge IOI off a cute little thing in a pink dress. I opened, she eye spazzed hard and clearly liked me. I went for the idate – boyfriend. I told her that it was nice to meet her and she asked for my Instagram as I said goodbye. Interested, but not available.

I moseyed further on down Tverskaya and stopped to take a picture for my Instagram story. The main purpose of this was to let my flakey Moscow leads know that I was back in town. As I was doing so, a short girl with long black hair down past her ass, a white baggy t-shirt, baggy denim jeans and trainers passed me from behind. I finished taking the picture and decided to follow up on her to see what her face looked like. It was very nice indeed – tanned skin, high cheekbones and big pink lips, BUT she had an Asian face. I took a closer look, there was no way she was Chinese, this girl was hot.

I opened and she was on guard straight away, I can’t remember much of what I said but I remember her vibe. She studied me up and down as if she was trying to decide if she could be bothered speaking to me.

“You’re very cute, but you don’t look Russian… Maybe Khazakh?”

“I’m Russian!”

“Ah ok, maybe your genetics come from somewhere else.”

“No, I’m Russian! I’m from Yakutia!”

“OK, OK, don’t hurt me.”

She smiled and dropped her guard a little. It started to rain so I moved her a few metres away to some shelter and carried on with the set. I found out she was a student of finance and was on her way home when I opened her. As the set went on, she apologised for being grumpy at first, guys talk to her in the street all the time and they’re usually creepy.

“Come on, it’s 7pm, it’s raining, let’s get out of the rain and get a quick a drink.”


“There’s lots of places on this street.”

“Ooooh K.”

I walked her to the first bar I saw, and we sat down opposite each other. As we sat Sasha told me that she didn’t drink alcohol, she ordered an orange juice and I got myself a glass of red wine. We went through the comfort fluff and then came the shit tests…

“You must do this to all the girls, this happens a lot, but I never go for a drink with guys I meet on the street”

“When I’m in Moscow I talk to 700 girls a day, when I’m in London I only do a hundred. Most English girls are ugly.“ I generally give ridiculous answers to shit tests.

She laughed and asked me more about English girls, Sasha was opening up and telling me all about her recent holiday to Dubai where she partied and drank wine every day and how she was now on a detox.

“Aaaaah so you do drink!” Her armour was cracking.

“Yes, but I’m in recovery mode.”

“Well I think this meeting is a worthy exception, I mean it’s not every day you meet a handsome, charming, funny AND modest Irish man.”

I waved the waiter over and ordered two glasses of wine this time. Sahsa looked at me, rolled her eyes and then bit her lip. I had her.

I made it clear at this point, if she hadn’t realised already, that she was on a date. I asked her if she’d ever dated an Irish man, she hadn’t. I asked if her if I was the oldest man she’d ever been on a date with, I was – Sasha had just turned 21.

She drank her wine quickly and puffed away on IQOS cigarettes as I puffed away on my vape. As we got to the end of our drinks, I suggested we go for a walk and find some real cigarettes. She liked this idea.

We started walking in the direction of my apartment stopping off to buy cigarettes on the way. We went to a bar opposite my apartment, it had a very studenty vibe about it, there were kids everywhere with laptops and it was brightly lit – not the best seduction venue. We had one quick drink at the bar before Sasha asked if we could go out for a cigarette.  After the cigarette she came into me for a hug, at this point I tilted her head up and kissed her. No resistance.

I suggested we go somewhere else as the student bar was terrible, she agreed. I walked us straight to my front door which was one block away. She was reluctant at first so I used the same line I use on every girl “Just come in for a little while, you can leave if you feel uncomfortable”.

Up she came, taking off her shoes on entry. I showed her around my swanky apartment and poured some wine. We sat in the kitchen chatting for about 20 minutes before I moved her to the bedroom. There was a study desk where I had put my laptop, I sat her on top of me on the chair and asked her to play some of her favourite Russian music on youtube. Sasha obliged and played some weird Russian hip hop asking me if I liked it…

“It’s truly awful, I can’t believe you’re making me listen to this” I find being honest with them usually works best.

“hahaha, come on, it’s good, you just need to broaden your horizons, old man!”

Sasha was bobbing her head along to the music and translating every other sentence. Unpredictably, the rap music was all about bitches and hoes.

After around 10 minutes of torture, Sasha turned on the chair and kissed me. Things got quite heated, so I picked her up and moved her to the bed.

“No sex, no sex, OK?”

“OK, no sex”

We rolled around on the bed but every time I tried to remove her clothing, she pushed me away. I rolled off and we drank more wine. Sasha asked if we could smoke out of my bedroom window, I wasn’t sure as I had only checked in around an hour before I met her.

“Fuck it, let’s do it” I declared.

I opened the huge bay windows and we hung out the window overlooking the city as dusk turned to night. As we finished the cigarettes someone on the balcony opposite started flashing a torch at us, which I assumed meant that we couldn’t smoke there. This was a perfect excuse to return to the bed.

The LMR carried on for around two hours, but eventually I got her almost naked, down to her underwear. I was on top of her on the bed, slid her underwear to the side and tried to slide in raw dog. She pushed my hips away and shouted.



“Preservative!” As she pointed at my penis…

“Oooooh, you mean a condom?”

I reached for a condom in the drawer, tore it open with my teeth and slid it on with my left hand whilst my right arm was still under her back…

“Wow, you’re a pro at this”

“ssssshh” I told Sasha.

As I slide it in, she said “We’re drunk, right?”

That was the first time I ever had a girl rationalising sex as I slid my dick in…

“Yes, we’re drunk” said an almost sober me.

The sex was wild, she kept repeating “We are drunk right? You are a bad boy! I never do this. I haven’t had sex in 6 months” as she bit my neck and scratched my back with her nails.

I let Sasha stay over, I enjoyed hanging out with her and she was very good in bed. We went at it four or five times that night and then again in the morning before she left in a cab. Not much sleep was had, and I was dead the next day.

So, what did I learn from this experience? Nothing new. But here are the key points for the beginners;

  1. Spot the switch. I knew it was on by the way she looked at me when I ordered her a glass of wine in the first bar. The vibe completely changed at this point, her guard dropped, and I knew all I had to do was be patient. I probably missed out on so many lays by not spotting this in my early days.
  2. As with all SDL’s – Lead, lead, lead!
  3. Thank the daygame Gods for putting them in your path.

Not Your Typical Lay Report


As mentioned on Moscow – Unfinished business, I got my first lay of the trip on the first night, always a good feeling. However, the most interesting part of this story is what happened a week later – I thought I was going to get a threesome, two actually, but it didn’t quite pan out that way…

Mr S, Mr Rasputin and I were finishing up our dinner at a restaurant on Kamergirsky which would become our regular breakfast venue for the rest of the trip. Mr Rasputin had just successfully persuaded Mr S to join us for a Russian Sauna experience [1] the next day. Out of the corner of my left eye I spotted a brunette in a black leather jacket, leather pants and a white, tight fitting top. She was pacing up and down whilst looking at her phone – girls are terrible at reading a map. I excused myself from the table and got up to introduce myself…

Excuuuuuse me, I was sitting over there and I thought you looked very pretty, but you clearly can’t read a map!

Nip a ne ma! Said the girl as she giggled uncontrollably.

I could see she was interested so I whooped out the google translate on my phone. If you don’t use this already, I highly recommend it – there’s a feature within the translate app called “conversation” with two microphone symbols above it. You press one button to speak in English and the other for Russian (or whatever language the girl speaks). You can maintain eye contact whilst speaking into the phone and it works 90% of the time, all the time. Much less clunky than typing into your phone.

We had a bit of back and forth for a few minutes before I asked what she was doing. Anastasia said that she was trying to find the nearest metro to go home. “Booooooring” said me.

I suggested a drink just up the road and she agreed. I went back to the lads and asked if they could pay my part of the bill and I’d sort them out later, of course they agreed.

Anastasia and I spoke nonsense over google translate as we made the 5-minute walk to a bar called Let’s Rock. I got the drinks in and we sat on a couch on the mezzanine level at the back of the bar. I don’t recall what we spoke about, it was all over google translate and I’d had a couple of drinks. I do remember that she was 24, was some sort of teacher and lived far out of the city centre. I kissed her not long into the first drink and paid the bill. Time to bounce home.

I bumped into Mr S as we were walking out of the bar, who was also with a girl…

Who’s this? Said Mr S.

Just some girl I met, who’s this? Said me.

Just some girl I met. Do ye wanna all get a drink together?

Ok, why not.

Mr S’s girl spoke perfect English whereas mine spoke zero. The two girls chatted quite a bit in Russian whilst Mr S and I discussed the logistics of how we would bounce.

Can I bounce mine first? I don’t think she’d like it if you’re spanking your one silly when we walk in. Pleaded Mr S.

OK, fair enough. Said me, reluctantly.

As we finished our drinks my girl told me that Mr S was very handsome and that he reminded her of Ryan Gosling.

Ah fuck Thought me.

I really don’t see it, but yes, he is handsome. I conceded.

We all enjoyed each other’s company for a while and the girls got a bystander to take pictures of the four of us together. Soon after this the other two excused themselves and I waited around 30mins before bouncing mine back and banging her. She had a great little body, a peachy ass with a small waist and nice breasts. I let her stay the night and she let herself out in the morning, with some encouragement from me.

We kept in touch throughout the week, but Anastasia kept telling me that she was sick in hospital but was still keen to see me again before I left. It turned out that she wasn’t lying. Fast forward to the following Saturday, Mr S’s last night in Russia and I got a message from her when I was on a date to nowhere with another girl.

What are you doing tonight? I am with a girlfriend; do you want to meet? Said her.

Is she offering up a threesome?! Thought me.

I should be free in an hour, what did you have in mind? Said me

You could meet with me and my friend. Said Anastasia

Yes, YES, this is IT. Thought me, threesome for sure!

Ok, Is your friend as pretty as you? Said me.

I think prettier.

OK, let’s meet in an hour. Said me, trying not to come across too keen.

Great, can you bring your friend? Said her.

BALLS, I instantly knew where this was going.

Which friend?

She sent through the picture of the four of us together with the caption “Ryan Gosling”.

FUCK! There goes the threesome. Thought me.

Mr S already had a date lined up with a girl he picked up from a secret location, which only he knows about and therefore which only he can enter which contains 9’s and 10’s ONLY – so he wasn’t that keen to come along. But his girl was taking long to get ready, so he agreed to come see what Anastasia’s friend looked like before deciding.

We made our way to the bar and the girls were already there waiting for us. Anastasia’s friend was indeed very pretty. She had a slightly Asian face but had a fantastic body – curves in all the right places and a few tattoos. It was obvious from the outset that she REALLY fancied Mr S before he even opened his mouth.

We all sat down for a drink together, Mr S beside Anastasias friend (let’s call her Dasha) and me beside Anastasia. Dasha spoke perfect English and we all got along fine. Mr S now had a real dilemma on his hands, ditch Dasha, a sure-fire notch, or go after another girl he thought could be a 9. We got a second round of drinks in and as soon as Mr S put the drinks on the table he left without even saying goodbye. He obviously chose the latter option.

I knew exactly where he’d gone, but I tried to carry on as if nothing had happened and attempted to manoeuvre the girls back onto threesome drive. It wasn’t happening. After around 5 minutes Dasha realised something was amiss “Where’s Mr S?” she asked.

“He mentioned something about having to meet another friend and left” I said.

“OH” Said Dasha as her face dropped.

“Stay a little longer, it’ll be fun” I pleaded.

“No, I really have to get up for work in the morning”

She said something in Russian to Anastasia and they both got up and left me with a table full of drinks. FUCK.

Soon after this I pinged Mr White who was also in town to see if he wanted to help me finish the drinks. He obliged. We sat there and supped away on vodka orange as we caught up on the day’s events.

Come on, let’s go inside and do some two-sets. Said me

Alright then, you mad cunt. Said Mr White in his usual encouraging way.

We walked inside and I saw a cute little two-set waiting for the toilet. One had long brown hair in a ponytail which went down past her ass and the other had blue eyes and black hair in a bob. Neither spoke a word of English.

Mr White rolled his eyes as if to say fuck this.

Don’t you worry Mr White, I got this. As I pulled out Google translate.

I opened the girl in the ponytail as her and her friend both stared up at me (they were both about 5’2”). They clearly liked me, I told them we should get a drink when they were finished in the bathroom and they agreed. I got the drinks and all four of us sat up on the same mezzanine level where I took Anastasia the previous week.

It turned out the girls would have to go home soon to get the last metro. I sat beside pony-tail girl, and Mr White sat beside the other one. Mr White and I were able to have full conversations in English right in front of them as we discussed logistics….

Come on Mr White, I think this is on, lets bounce em’ back to my place, it’s just up the road.

Mate, I really can’t be arsed, mine is a 6! I’d rather go home.

She’s a 7 at least! Come on, she’s cute.

Mate she’s a SIX

At this point Mr White’s girl interjected our conversation…

No sex!

Her English translation skills were clearly not up to scratch.

Come on Mr White, just come for a little while, this could be an easy notch for you. Mr White still hadn’t gotten laid by this point in the trip, so I used this against him for my own benefit.

We left the bar and the girls had agreed to come back with us. As we were walking, I remembered that I had no bounce back booze at the flat and all the off-licences were shut. I found a restaurant along the way and asked the waiter how much he would charge me for a bottle of wine. He wasn’t keen on selling it but then he finally offered me one for 3,200 rubles (not cheap). As is usual when I’m a bit tipsy, I stop caring about money and happily handed over my hard earned rubles and we were on our way.

The girls happily made themselves at home as we entered the flat at what must have been around midnight. We all had a glass of wine together before Mr White isolated his girl on the balcony and I got mine alone on the couch. I tried to kiss her, but she kept pulling away. I picked her up and carried her into my bedroom where I managed to get a small kiss on the lips. She pushed me off and said “Not now” on google translate.

After a couple of hours of neither of us getting anywhere, Mr White threw in the towel and left me alone with the two girls at around 2am.

“Second chance of a threesome” thought an ever optimistic me.

I sat the girls down either side of me on the couch, trying to spike things up by asking them if they’d ever kissed each other. They were having none of it. I tried to kiss both of them at separate points but got nowhere.

It was now pushing 3am when I got a message from Mr S “I’m bouncing will be home in 2mins”. FUCK.

I quickly grabbed both girls by the hand and pulled them towards my bedroom, but it was too late, Mr S opened the front door as we were running past it and his girl spotted my girls.

“Hey! Who are you?!” She screamed.

The three girls immediately started talking in Russian whilst Mr S and I looked at each other as if to say “What are we going to do now?!”

Mr S went straight to bed expecting that his girl would join him. But she didn’t. She stayed up chatting to me and the two other girls. They wanted to have a party. Pony-tail girl asked if she could order pizza and more wine. I said sure and she ordered it on her phone. It turned up 30 minutes or so later. I assumed that she had already paid for it, but no, she turned to me and said “It costs 4,000 rubles”… “WHAT?!” said angry me, before handing over more of my hard earned rubles.

It was now pushing 4am and I was getting tired and grumpy. I tried to get my girls to come to bed with me and Mr S’s girl to go to his room, but they were determined to stay up and party. Soon after this, blue eyes asked me if she could go to sleep in my bed and I told her yes, of course, thinking that this meant I was going to bang her. I tried one more time to get ponytail to come to bed but she stayed up listening to music with Mr S’s girl.

I stripped off and got into bed with blue eyes who was still fully clothed and sleeping already. I rubbed her leg before trying to kiss her and she muttered a load of Russian at me before turning her back to me. It wasn’t on.

I lay there in bed and the girls were still playing the music loudly at 5am in the lounge. I heard Mr S get up a few times to tell them to turn it down, we had to be up at 10am to check out at 11am. They didn’t turn the music down. At around 5.30 am I got up and went into Mr S’s room…

“Do you mind if I kick these bitches out? It’ll probably end things with your one”

“Do it, she’s dead to me”

I stormed into the lounge in my boxer shorts, pointed at the front door and shouted…

“GET THE FUCK OUT, GET THE FUCK OUT, NOW!!” I was genuinely angry, tiredness combined with two failed threesome attempts will do this to a man.

They both stared at me in shock, ponytail obviously had no idea what I’d said, but the other one did and translated on my behalf.

“Are you serious?!” She pleaded.

“Yes, LEAVE, NOW”. Said serious me.

They quickly gathered their shit and all three girls shuffled out the door at around 6am allowing Mr S and I to get our heads down for a few hours kip. What a cluster fuck.

So, what did I learn from that experience?

  1. I’m terrible at threesomes
  2. Provider game does not work

[1] It was a lot of fun, but the less said about it, the better

Moscow – Unfinished Business

person-people-girl-photography-photo-female-1177679-pxhere.comI’m currently sat in my Airbnb in Saint Petersburg [1] reflecting on the madness of my recent trip to Moscow. As is usual on these trips, I’m pretty sure I shaved at least a year off my life expectancy in the pursuit of yet more notches. But I had a bloody good time doing so…

I swore to myself that I’d never go back to Moscow again after spending a miserable month there in June 2017. Since then, when someone so much as mentioned the city in conversation it would get my back up and I’d go on the defensive telling them how much better Saint Petersburg or Belgrade were. But this most recent trip has changed my perception massively.

I’m still not sure how I agreed to go back there, maybe my ego couldn’t handle the relative failure [2] of the last trip and had unfinished business. But when Mr S [3] told me that he was going and that I was welcome to join him, initially I said no, I fully intended to go back to Saint Petersburg for my last jaunt of the season. Then one morning when I was travelling to work, I had an Ah fuckit moment of spontaneity. I went on skyscanner on my phone to check the flights, I messaged Mr S to see if the same dates suited him and booked it. I was going back to settle the score.

We arrived early on a Friday evening, checked in, got showered and hit the streets. It was a warm evening, low to mid-twenties and the sexual energy on the streets was palpable; girls were walking around in high heels, mini-skirts and low-cut tops. I recall saying to Mr S – “OK, I’ve already seen more talent in this first 20 minutes compared to a full month here last time” as we walked down a bustling Kamergirsky street. I opened my first set and she loved it. I took her number and banged her a few days later [4]. I did a couple more sets before we sat down for dinner. Mr Rasputin was also in town, so he joined us. The mood upbeat as we dined on steak and red wine and Mr S regaled us with his latest theories on game “THE TING WIT ALL YOU DAYGAME LOSERS IS….”. This set the tone for the rest of the trip. At the end of the meal I saw a very pretty girl walking past the restaurant dressed all in black leather – I got up from the table, idated her and banged her that very same night [5].

Sets Number FB/Insta Flake idate D1 D2 D3 Near Miss SDL Lays
Approach to lay count.. 1 in…
Approach to number/Insta close… 1 in …
20 45.00% 25.00% 21.43% 20.00% 25.00% 5.00% 5.00% 5.00% 5.00% 10.00%
2.50 9 5 3 4 5 1 1 1 1 2 10.00 1.43

As you can see from the above, I did hardly any sets, some daygamers I know do in 1 day what I did 8. I did a total of 20 sets, 2.5 a day, closing 14 out of the 20. Only 3 of them didn’t respond to the feeler. Some of them are still active leads [6]. I dated 8 of the girls, one of them I took on 3 dates and had a near miss with before giving up the ghost and I banged two of them. So, in terms of ratios, this was probably [7] my best performance on a jaunt, ever.

So why the stark contrast to my first trip to Moscow where I couldn’t get a girl out for love nor money? I’ll attempt some answers;

  1. My game has probably improved, the previous trip was over two years ago. Although I don’t feel like I’m doing much different, the extra experience must surely be a factor. Mr S and I had many conversations about having the killer instinct, the x-factor, the relentlessness, whatever you want to call it, to push through and be willing to lose leads in the process. We both have it in abundance. The girl needs to know what you’re after early on and they should see it in your eyes, especially if they don’t speak a word of English.
  2. I’m in slightly better shape. I joke with my friends that I’m jacked and tanned these days, I’m not. But I am in better shape, despite all the booze and cigarettes.
  3. My look has changed gradually – out with the gawdy skull rings and rock t-shirts, in with a cleaner look with plain clothing and minimal accessories.
  4. The weather was perfect. Averaging 20 degrees every day and I don’t think it rained once.
  5. My logistics were better. I was staying a 5-minute walk away from the centre and had plenty of good venues around for dates. I was staying much further out on my previous trip.

You might wonder why I did so few sets. I just didn’t have the desire, need, nor ability to; getting laid on the first day satiated my notch hyena. Most sets after that seemed to go well and so my phone always had action on it meaning that I had dates lined up almost every day I was there. Add to this the many late nights and lack of sleep and my desire to pound the streets was severely restricted.  On the second day I woke up to find that my fourth toe was red and swollen – I thought I had gout, I also had pins and needles down the right side of my body for most of the week. I consulted Doctor Xants over whatsapp to see if he ever suffered from a similar condition, he hadn’t. Then an hour or so later he came back to me after having consulted Doctor Google – “Mate, sounds like you’ve got diabetes, you should probably get that checked”. I considered the Doctors’ sage advice for about 10 minutes before deciding “Nah, I’ll be grand” and proceeded along my path of debauchery.

So, should you all book flights to Moscow straight away? No. Mr S banged four girls in just over a week, I banged two. But I also have wings there who aren’t getting a sniff. Just because some guys are getting laid, doesn’t mean that you will. I’m not saying this to try and do my bit to prevent it from getting burnt, I think it’s too big for that. Your game needs to be tight, feel free to go and try for yourself but be warned that you may come home with your tail between your legs, as I did two years ago.



[1] I’ve come to see a couple of girls on my marriage list, one of which is already off it.

[2] I still got laid twice, but I was expecting much better

[3] He did ridiculously well, 4 lays in 8 nights as well as a near miss. The King is dead, all hail the King!

[4] I’ll do a lay report when I can be bothered.

[5] I’ll do a lay report when I can be bothered.

[6] I’m going back for a few days before returning to London.

[7] I banged 4 in a 8 night trip to Belgrade in 2017, but the ratios weren’t as good.