Time to hibernate?

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The desert signifies my dry patch and I like leopards and hot girls. Deep.

It’s been very quiet on here for one simple reason – I am not getting laid [1]. October was the first month this year where I didn’t get a new notch. The Bulgarian has become a regular, I’ve given another regular to Xants [2] and I’ve been dating another couple of girls that I STILL haven’t converted to notches [3]. However, I did go on a “Euro Jaunt” recently. Actually it was more of a piss-up due to the company in tow; Xants, Mr S, his brother and I. 3 out of 4 of us got laid despite the drunken debauchery…

It was our last jaunt of the year, we all had a week of leave left and wanted to use it before it got too cold. Our destination prerequisites were – not too expensive, not too far, not too cold, hot girls and good night life. It was a close call between Kiev and Warsaw – we went with the latter due to the non-existent night life in Kiev and my constant re-assurances to the lads of how much easier it was to get laid in Warsaw. Oh the irony.

We flew out on a Friday night and our spirits were high – boys on tour and all that. We set the tone for the holiday before it began by having a couple of pints at Kings Cross station before getting the train to the airport, then another few pints at the airport, then a few cans of beer on the plane journey there.

Luck of the randomly allocated air plane seat lottery sandwiched me between a cute blonde girl to my left and a not so cute Mr S to my right. As we made ourselves comfortable the gamma in me was explaining to Mr S how I’d downloaded lots of Netflix shows on my phone to watch on the flight.

Why dontchya watchit on hur compuder? Mr S countered.

The girl to my left piped up…

Oh I don’t have any Netflix on this. She had a macbook on her lap

Ignore my friend – he’s Irish. Said me

Fuck dis – I’m goin ta sleep. Said Mr S.

And with that Mr S. proceeded to fall asleep whilst I carried on chatting to the blondie that he technically opened. She was a fashion consultant who travelled the world regularly, advised people how to dress and took pictures of them. She was originally from Poland and was on her way home to see her family for a few days. Our conversation fizzled out after 15 minutes and then she fell asleep. Soon after the drinks lady arrived and Mr S and I got on the beer. As we landed I took the blondies number as she had invited me to a party the next evening. I’d number closed before I’d even touched down in Poland – this is going to be so easy!

We arrived around midnight and got an uber to the city centre. Mr S and his brother went to check into their apartment and Xants and I tried to do the same. The Airbnb instructions told us to go and fetch the keys from a café. As we approached the café we noticed that it looked awfully dark and there were no people in it. Strange. When we got to the entrance we noticed that it was definitely closed. It was 23:45 and the sign said that it closed at 00:00. Lazy feckin’ Poles. I tried to contact the landlord several times but to no avail. Eventually I contacted airbnb and they said they would put us up in a hotel for the night and pay for any expenses (including alcohol) to the value of £30 whilst we did so. We carried on drinking until we couldn’t be arsed checking into a hotel and ended up crashing on Mr S’s couch. I never did claim any expenses.

The next morning we all went for breakfast and soon realised that pork sausages do not exist in Poland – all breakfasts come with those rubbish Vienna type sausages, we were mortified and already wanted to go home. Local resident, Mr R who is originally from Leeds joined us to catch-up before we all parted ways and Xants and I tried again to gain entry to our apartment, this time successfully.

From here on in the rest of the trip is a blur. I remember for the first three or four days that I was approaching a fair bit. I did 40 daygame sets in total and “closed” 20 (mostly on Instagram as they still don’t seem to do whatsapp there) of these. My vibe was terrible throughout as we were hitting it hard in the bars every night and this is where I was arguably more successful.

The reactions on the street were generally good, I only remember a couple of blowouts but something was off. I was getting contact details from half of the girls and most of them were replying – getting them out was the tricky part. There could be myriad reasons for this; they were genuinely busy with Uni, they had boyfriends, they’d been opened 20 times after I opened them, they just gave me their details to get rid, and, and , and… There’s no point losing sleep over it, accept it and move on thought me.

I had four dates on the trip;

  1. Blondie from the plane – I got her out a few days later in the afternoon. We went for coffee then a walk and then a beer. Every time I tried to escalate she recoiled at the same time as biting her bottom lip. Cognitive dissonance in full display if I’ve ever seen it. The old hind brain/fore brain conflict and the fore won again. We agreed to meet a day later but in the intervening time her grandmother died which created somewhat of a cock-block (how selfish!) and I never saw blondie again.
  2. The 9 from last year – This is a girl I had two dates with on my last trip to Warsaw. She had dropped a point having aged a year and a half and put on a little bit of weight. She was still a solid 8 though. She was happy to spend an entire evening with me without actually doing anything, Initially it was nice to hang out with a hot girl but I soon got fed up of this and put her on the spot – “Are you attracted to me or not?”. She told me that she was but that she didn’t want to grow feelings or get attached to me as I was leaving the city. Fair enough. Whore.
  3. Cute Ukrainian – my only proper date from daygame out of the 40 girls I opened. She was a short 21-year-old brunette who worked as a dentist and spoke zero English. I tried to hug her as we met for the date and she recoiled whilst frantically typing “Wow you are so fast!” into her google translate. I wasted around two hours of my time with her, I genuinely liked her but it would have taken about 20 dates to get the lay and I ain’t got time for that shit. We said our goodbyes and I didn’t bother contacting her again.
  4. Mr R’s regular – On my last day I still hadn’t gotten laid so I decided to go hail mary and hunt for SDL’s. As I was walking through the frying pan area of Warsaw (between the underpass and the park) I spotted a tall girl walking slowly with a black dress and high heels. I wasted no time in opening and she was very receptive. Turned out she was Ukrainian and in Warsaw to study – all the hottest girls in the city are from Ukraine. I asked her what she was up to and she said “oh, just walking”. I bounced her for a coffee and we showed each other pictures from our Instagram profiles and added each other as friends. As I looked through her pictures I had a peculiar feeling of familiarity. I was sure I’d seen this girls pictures before but I didn’t know where. After the coffee we went for a walk towards the old town before we settled on an Irish bar for a proper drink. I asked about her plans for the rest of the evening and she told me that she was going to a friends birthday party. It was still bugging me where I knew this girl from. I sent a screenshot of her Instagram to the Warsaw group chat asking if anyone knew this girl. A few minutes later Mr R replied “Yip, that’s my 18 yr/old regular. Be quick, she’s meeting me at 8:30”. Fuck. We finished our drinks and I sent her on her way.

As mentioned above – the nightgame seemed like it would bare more fruit. I probably approached almost as many girls at night, most of them two-sets, as I did during the day. The closest I got to getting laid was a two set I did with Xants with a few nights left.

We were in the smoking section upstairs in a bar/club called Plan B. The night was young and we were scanning for sets, we stood around a small table and I spotted a cute two-set to my left which was directly behind Xants. He was mad keen to do mystery method openers so he cocked his shoulders towards them… “Oi, who’s better, the Rolling Stones or the Beatles?” They stopped what they were talking about and hooked instantly.

The girl closest to him said beatles and the one closest to me (the hotter one) said stones. I congratulated her on her good choice before shutting up and letting Xants proceed. After a few minutes he talked in my ear “this is going nowhere mate, let’s just go”. I begged to differ and insisted that we stick it out a bit longer.

The hotter one, let’s call her Sienna, was slim with longish black hair, pale skin and a fiery personality. She had a funny accent as she’d lived in London for a few years, it was a mix of Queens English and Polish, it was weird and I told her this many times. The other girl was a little frumpier with shorter, brown hair and had more good girl vibes about her.

The four of us spent the rest of the evening together. We had a couple of rounds in plan B before getting a taxi back to our area. As we got in the cab the girls decided that they wanted to show us the clubs that Polish people go to. We reluctantly agreed. They led us to a loud club with lots of pissed up Poles in it. Xants and I scanned the room quickly before turning to the girls and telling them they were coming to Pawilowny with us. They agreed.

We sat downstairs in the serial killer bar, smoked cigarettes and had one more drink. It was now pushing 2am and the bar was closing. We walked the girls in the direction of our apartment and as we got closer I floated the idea of them coming up for a night cap. They agreed.

When we got inside Sienna announced that she had no cigarettes left, neither had I and neither had Xants. I took this as the perfect opportunity to isolate. I asked Sienna to come across the road to the 24hour dive bar with me to buy them there. Her friend wasn’t keen on staying alone with Xants in the apartment but Sienna reassured her that everything would be ok. We got to the bar and as I was ordering the cigarettes I ordered two beers. Sienna feigned a look of surprise but did not protest. We sat beside each other on a couch and within minutes we had tongues down each other’s throats. It was very romantic. We finished the drinks and Sienna said that we should go back to check on her friend. I agreed.

When we got back to the room Xants and her friend had moved to his bedroom. I walked Sienna straight to my room for what I thought was going to be an easy lay. Instead I battled LMR all night long as she insisted that we would not be having sex. Sienna liked it rough and got very turned on when I choked her and pulled on her hair, but every time I tried to finger her she would push my hand away. Eventually she told me that she was on her period. Fuck. I kindly offered to put a towel down, but she wasn’t having it. I got Sienna down to her underwear and as I sucked on her surprisingly nice boobs she gouged her nails deep into my back. At the time I didn’t feel much pain due to the alcohol in my system. At around 5am we both collapsed in an exhausted mess. Sienna woke up again at 6am as she had to get to work, she went out to the lounge to find her friend sleeping on the couch, woke her up and they both left in a hurry.

Still half asleep I staggered to the bathroom for a piss. As I washed my hands I got a glimpse of my back, I turned it to the mirror to get a better look and it was red raw, she had dug her nails in so deep that she’d drawn blood. I returned to the bed and noticed that the white sheets were no longer white, there was blood all over them. Was it her period blood or the blood from my back? Either way it didn’t look good. I went back to sleep and as soon as I woke up I text her saying that I had fun. Sienna didn’t reply for a few hours and I was freaking out. Thankfully she eventually replied saying “me too 😊”. I never got her out again.

I mentioned that 3 out of 4 of us got laid. By now it should be obvious that I was the only one that didn’t get laid – this is a rare occurrence and I was so irritated that I almost had my first melt down. Meanwhile Xants banged a bar game girl on the last night. Mr. S banged two girls from bar game, his little brother banged FOUR, TWO of which were his first daygame notches and most spectacularly, both of them were on the SAME day. The wee bastard. This did not help my vibe but I tried my best to be happy for them all. Truth was I couldn’t wait to get away from them all and get away from Warsaw. Mentally I attempted to console myself with cliché’s – “you win some, you lose some”, “it’s a marathon not a sprint”. But none of that shit matters when you’re there in the moment riding the ups and downs. It would take it’s toll on any man.

I started to feel human a few days after I got back to London so I invited the Bulgarian round. After I’d finished unleashing my sexual frustration on her she lay there on her back huffing and puffing with a curious look on her face;

What’s wrong?

What happened your back and your arms? You’re all scratched and covered in bruises!

I decided this was the appropriate time for a white lie…

Oh, shit, I don’t know. I must have fallen over when I was drunk in Poland.

I could see her processing my lame alibi before she said;

Ok, makes sense.

 

 

[1] by new girls

[2] bottom world

[3] one of them proposed to me over whatsapp the other day. Sounds legit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Now for something completely different

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What do you see?

I woke up on Saturday with a slight hangover (surprise!) having drunk most of a bottle of gin the night before whilst round at Xant’s for a game of poker. I had a date lined up that evening with a girl I was pretty sure I was going to bang so I was in good spirits. United were playing early against West Ham so me and a couple of the lads went to a local pub to watch. United were rubbish and we lost. Soon after this my date for the evening sent me a long rambly message explaining how she wasn’t ready to date anyone as she still wasn’t over her ex. Great – “this day can’t get much worse” thought me. But it did, it got a lot, lot worse – so bad that it was actually painful to write this post. But I persevered for my dear readers…

I hit the streets at around 3pm determined to get some fresh leads. I’d only done 12 sets so far in September and it was now the second last day of the month. I’ve been lackadaisical on the approaching front as I’ve been dating a few girls which will hopefully be converted to notches soon.

I met up with an old wing from Dublin and walked with him for an hour and didn’t see any sets to my liking. My wing had to go to work after an hour so I was now walking solo.

As I walked West on the South side of Oxford Street I saw a short blondie walk towards me. There was no IOI but she was walking slow, almost floating. I let her pass to check her out from behind; she was short, slim and had a peachy little butt.

I got in front of her and she freaked out a little jumping a step back as I did so. I told her to relax, I thought she looked cute and I just wanted to say hi – she dropped her guard. I found out Luka was born and raised in Ireland, her Mum was Irish but her Dad was Korean. This gave her a strange look; she was pale with big brown eyes and full pink lips. Every time I tried to hold eye contact with her she would look into my eyes intensely for a second before looking away. She couldn’t handle the excitement. Luka was very softly spoken and strangely had an American accent. I asked her why this was and she told me that it’s because she was home-schooled. She was bullied so badly as a child that her parents had to take her out of school [1]. Brilliant thought me – this girl is proper bonkers.

I carried on with my prattle whilst closely watching her body language, something was up because she kept looking everywhere but me;

Hey, I’m over here! Eye’s on the prize

Oh sorry, everyone is looking at us, I don’t like it

No-one is looking at us, but ok, how about we go get a coffee

OK, where?

There’s a Starbucks just up past Tottenham Court Road, Let’s go

I walked us to Starbucks and she followed. She had a caramel frappacino and I the usual black Americano. I told Luka to go sit while I got the coffees in and she sat at a high table on stools near the toilet. When I joined her we spoke about her awful tattoos and lack of piercings. Soon after this Luka asked if we could walk with our coffees because she felt like everyone was staring at her [2] to which I raised no objections. I led us in the direction of my apartment using the pretence that I would show her a different part of London. Everything was going swimmingly and I was now thinking only one thing – SAME DAY LAY.

As we walked back up Oxford Street I noticed a few people throwing IOI’s in Luka’s direction [3], wow, this girl must be really hot thought me. I led us up the back streets away from the crowds and we chatted about her plans for the rest of the evening – she didn’t have any but wanted to return to Oxford street to buy some shoes before the shops closed. Not bother said me. It was now around 4.30pm; maybe a bit early to start drinking but I proposed we get a real drink at the bar near mine nonetheless. She didn’t object. I got a beer and she had a glass of red wine. The bar was packed and there was nowhere to sit inside or out so we ended up stood by the railings in front of the bar.

As we drank we spoke about why we were both single. I found out Luka had four past boyfriends but they were all “fucked up in the head” [4]. I told her I had similar issues my ex-girlfriends but that my mother told me never to speak about such things on a first date. We eventually got a table outside and sat beside each other. As we spoke I started stroking her hair [5] and said that there was no way that this was her natural colour. Luka told me it was a weave. I thought this was a tad strange for a white girl [6] and Luka told me it’s very common in Korea and that she often changes the colour of her weave.

So what happens if I pull it really hard?

Nothing, try it

Maybe later. Said me with a cheeky smile [7]

As we got to the end of the drinks I gave Luka two choices;

  1. back to mine for some wine
  2. Another bar which was much cosier

Luka went for option 2 [8]. We sat at a couch downstairs, Luka went to sit opposite me but I insisted that she sit beside me. She reluctantly complied but folded her legs up and turned to face me so as to create a human barrier to escalation. As we chatted I stroked her calves and played with her hair [9] and she seemed to enjoy it. This was a basement bar, so it was dark even though it was still broad daylight outside. I can’t remember much of the conversation while we were there as all of it was overshadowed by the following sequence of events…

I’d decided that I was over two hours in and needed to try and kiss this girl. She was sat to my left so I put my left arm around her. Luka felt uncomfortable at first but soon became floppy. A few minutes later I grabbed her chin with my right thumb and forefinger and then it hit me. I felt the sharp prickle of stubble on her chin and instantly felt as if I had been submerged in a bucket of water and was slowly drowning. I could see Luka talking at me but I couldn’t hear a word she was saying. A little raging Roy jumped out of my body and looked down at my real self;

FUUUUUUUUUUUCK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Maybe she’s just hairy like them Portuguese types, my Portuguese ex girlfriend was hairy… but hang on, she NEVER had stubble.

What the hell are you doing?!

This is a fucking man. A fucking man, I have just spent two hours trying to seduce a MAN!

Why didn’t you realise sooner?

I don’t know but it all makes sense now – no friends, everyone looking at her, being a bit weird, it was all right there in front of me.

But why didn’t she…. Not she, stop calling her a she… why didn’t IT tell you? Is this some kind of sick joke????

Ah fuck, I’d better sort this out

Raging Roy jumped back into my body and I came up for air. Luka was still rabbiting away but I hadn’t heard a word HE had said. I looked HIM dead in the eye and whilst trying my hardest to resist the urge to puke in HIS face I said the following;

Is… Is there something that you want to tell me?

What?? Oh, oh, I thought you knew. I thought you knew I was Trans!

No, I DID NOT. I do not try to have sex with MEN!

I thought you knew! And that’s why I didn’t want to go to your place; I didn’t want to freak you out.

Well consider me freaked.

Is this going to be a problem for you?

YES! I do not have sex with men, it’s wrong, it’s not what nature intended and tricking other men into thinking you’re a woman is most certainly not what nature intended!

I wasn’t trying to trick you

So you’ve clearly had a lot of work done, those lips aren’t real, your voice isn’t real… Do you still have a penis?

Yes, but I’m getting it removed very soon

Jesus… this explains everything… but hang-on you said you had 4 boyfriends, I’m assuming they knew?

Yes

And they were straight??

Yes

Haha – no they were not. They’re also sick

You are offending me now, I think I should go

Ok, goodbye

Luka quickly grabbed his shit and stormed up the steps leaving a full glass of wine on the table. I sat there bemused for about 20 minutes whilst I finished my beer… and then his wine. I had a sick feeling in my stomach and I didn’t know whether to laugh or puke everywhere. I went through it all over and over in my head and couldn’t believe how I’d missed so many clues. However, in my defence this was easily the most convincing tranny I have ever seen in my life. I’ve heard the trannies in Thailand are very convincing; I’ve never been and have no intention of ever going there to find out, but this girl was probably equally if not more convincing. I showed my friends a picture of it afterwards and none of them could believe it was a man.

As embarrassing as this story is, I’m so relieved that it didn’t go any further than it did. Be careful out there lads – bitches be men fronting as bitches.

 

 

Things I missed during the interaction which in hindsight are definite tranny flags;

[1] He probably dressed like a girl from a young age

[2] People probably WERE staring at it and I was somehow oblivious to it all. I often find that in daygame when I come out of a set. My wing will tell me I had an audience and I wouldn’t have even noticed. I’m in the moment not caring what anyone else thinks. This is the first time where this worked against me.

[3] They were thinking – “what the fuck is that tranny doing with such a handsome, normal looking guy?!”

[4] More like mentally ill

[5] I feel sick thinking about this

[6] It would be strange for a white girl, totally normal for a tranny though

[7] Eeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuwwwww, EEEEEEUUUUUUUWWWW!!!!

[8] Praise the lord that it said no to this

[9] Eeeeeeeuuuuuuw. You get the point – I’m amazed that I was still clueless right up to this point.

iDate Report: A Litany of Schoolboy Errors

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Her fashion was nothing like this, but the face/body is close.

I don’t normally publish date reports (I have many private ones), but in light of my recent failures theme I thought I would share with you all how I still retain a tremendous ability to monumentally fuck things up with a yes girl. Here’s the story…

With only a few days remaining in Krakow my motivation to open was quite low. I’m not sure if this was because I have been suffering from a little bit of burnout or because I was still recovering from a two day bender with friends a couple of days before. It was probably a bit of both.

But, at around 9:30pm last night I was doing my last lap from Florianska up towards the Galleria mall before calling it a day and going home to get an early night.

As I walked towards the underpass I was texting a friend. I put my phone away and caught a glimpse of girl that was just passing to my left. She had long brown shaggy hair, a big baggy shirt and an old fashioned dress underneath, she topped the look off with a pair of converse and a back pack. My spider sense tingled, I hadn’t seen her face, but it was worth a shot.

I got in front and she hooked instantly. I told her she looked very zen, like she’d just come out of a yoga class or something. Maggie giggled and said that she had actually just finished work, but she spent most of the day meditating whilst at work. She was very cute, a mid-to-high 7.

I commented on her fashion and told her that she looked very different – her shirt looked like she’d borrowed it from her dad and her dress looked like something the poor people wore in the cellars of the Titanic – she pulled it off well though. Maggie laughed again and told me that she buys all her clothes in thrift shops. She was loving it and we chatted for around 10 minutes. I found out that she had dropped out of University 6 months in because she wasn’t “feeling it”. Her plan now was to make as much money as possible for the next month before she would set off to hitch-hike around Europe.

Ah, so you are a lady of adventure

Yes, I love adventure! I’m so bored of life here.

This was my cue to invite her for a drink right there and then. She agreed and we walked to a bar close to the park.

We sat at an outdoor table on chairs at right angles to each other. I like to do this if possible on first venues. It gives the girl enough space whilst allowing you to kino and you can also look them dead in the eyes if you shuffle your chair a bit.

We both ordered beers and proceeded through the comfort fluff. I found out Maggie was 20 years old, she told me about how her family were not happy with her travel plans, how she loved animals, how she loved to meet new people and how she felt trapped. Krakow wasn’t big enough for her and there was so much else to see. I filled her in on my backstory and before we knew it we were finished the first drinks. There wasn’t one silence and the conversation was still flowing. It was now around 10:30pm and the bar we were at was closing.

Let’s go for another drink somewhere else

I actually want a cigarette. You have any?

I’ve left mine at home.

This was my first fuck up, I did actually leave them at home but, at this point I should have invited her back. Even though I hadn’t kissed her and we’d only had one drink, there was enough outlier vibes to take the leap of faith.

There’s a shop there, I’ll buy another box and we can go to another bar

OK, sounds good

I got a box of cigarettes and we each smoked one as we walked towards the main square. This was my second fuck up. I was walking in the opposite direction to my apartment, which coincidentally was my third fuck up in itself. I had a look around my area earlier that day and couldn’t find any good bars near my flat – I booked the room in a bit of a hurry and didn’t research my logistics properly. As we passed each bar I suggested we go in and she kept saying that she didn’t like the places. This was my fourth fuck up, I should have insisted that the place didn’t matter, it was the company. We eventually went to a cool little bar that was a fully TWENTY minute walk away from my apartment. We sat outside again at a table, this was my fifth fuck-up, I agreed to a venue that wasn’t suitable for escalation and was too far from my apartment.

By the time we sat down it was now around 11pm. We each got a bottle of craft beer and she told me that she had to be up really early for work. FUCK. She was wearing a ring with a stone on it. I tried to escalate by touching her hand and asking what it meant.

Oh I was at a festival recently, I met a guy, we had some fun and the next morning he gave me this as a souvenir

This was like rubbing salt in an open wound, she was basically telling me she’s highly promiscuous and that I was busy friend-zoning myself. Maggie carried on to tell me about how she enjoyed taking LSD, MDMA and had even tried Ayahuascha. This was my sixth fuck-up, I let her ramble on about this for about half an hour because I was genuinely interested in what she was saying and was enjoying the conversation too much. I wasn’t escalating. Soon after this she received a phone call, Maggie apologised before answering and when she hung up she told me that a friend would come to join us now. FFS.

She said I could stay or go, but she just wanted to speak with this friend as she hadn’t seen HIM in a long time and he would leave in the morning. This was my seventh fuck-up, I should have either got up and left or told her to tell him not to come. We carried on with normal chit-chat, this was my eighth fuck-up, I had about a 10 minute window before her friend arrived to at least TRY and kiss her, but I didn’t and he turned up. He turned out to be a nice chap, a bit chodey and was in his early 40’s and was another guy she had met at a festival, she probably banged him too.

He didn’t have a drink and just waited for us to finish ours. The three of us walked back towards the square. The dude said he was staying at another friends house, she was going back to her apartment that she shared with another guy, and I would go in a separate direction.

As we walked Maggie challenged us all to do forward rolls in the middle of the street, her friend did it straight away, then she tried and had obviously forgotten she was wearing a back-pack as she got stuck mid roll and her whole dress blew up to reveal a lacy black thong and a great little body. Her friend rushed to pull her dress back down. She got up and wasn’t embarrassed in the slightest. Maggie asked why I didn’t roll with them, I told her I’m not very flexible. It was all a bit weird.

As we walked Maggie continued to tell her friend the story of how her and I had met earlier that evening, she spoke in glowing terms, but her friend didn’t look impressed in the slightest. Soon after this we all went our separate ways and as I said goodbye to Maggie she said “Good luck in your future life”, despite me adding her on instagram earlier in the evening. Which probably means I won’t be getting her out again before I leave.

Conclusion

I was very conscious of all of the errors as I was making them. However, I was happy of the company as I had been solo for a couple of days and was frankly a bit bored. I thought I would still have a couple of more nights to finish the deal but it seems it won’t be so. Oh well, guess I’ll have to go back out and do it all over again.

 

 

 

 

 

Near Miss: Indian Dwarf

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She’s not quite this hot, but very similar with longer, less curly hair.

It was a balmy Sunday afternoon. I was strolling down Flinders street in my converse, black shorts, white linen shirt and aviators on, I’ve opted against R selection in Melbourne, it’s already ratty enough. My headphones were in and I was listening to Billy Corgan tell Joe Rogan about how he became the owner of NWA wrestling. I liked the pumpkins when I was a lad and I had no idea that the lead singer was mad about wrestling. It had been about an hour since I’d done a set which is par for the course here.

As I’m giggling to myself listening to Billy telling Joe about how they made a meme out of him when he went to disneyland (google it) a tiny little brown girl shoots me a glance just as she is leaving my line of sight, I almost missed it. I looked back as she walked away from me. She was wearing flip flops, tight grey jeans accentuating a peachy little ass and a tight white vest. Her long black hair went all the way down her back to just above her ass. It was worth the chase.

I get in front and give her the pre-opener, she’s immediately on guard. On closer inspection she has a nice face, massive brown eyes with high cheek bones and no make up on. A solid 7. I move onto the compliment.

You look very cute, I really like how tall you are.  Whilst hovering my hand above her head. You remind me of a giraffe.

hahaha thank you

I think I caught you looking at me, it’s rude not to say high where I come from

Oh, and where would that be?

She’s hooked and we chat for 10 minutes or so. I tease her again about her height, I guess that she’s 142cm high and she seems annoyed at this and corrects me telling me she is 151cm. I tell her I’m 5’10”, she challenges me and says no way, you look more like 5’8″ and asks me my height in cm. I tell her I think it’s 175cm.

I get towards the end of what I think is a solid set and go for the number.

I don’t give my number out like this

Why, does “this” happen a lot?

This is like the 7th time

Well the other 6 were definitely not as charming or as handsome as me

They were actually more charming

I pull out my phone and she reluctantly starts calling out her digits as if she was in a hurry.

Wow, wow, wow, slow down. Let’s make sure I spell your name correctly first. 

I type her name in and get her to repeat her number slowly. I send her a text with my name while she’s in front of me. She receives it.

So what happens now, do I have to text you first?

Well, there is no set rules as to who sends the first text (except for countless texting guides), but I will probably text you in a couple of hours.

Ok

We go our separate ways and minutes later she pings me first…

 

IMG_6802.jpg
As you can see, she was very keen over text so I got her out the next day, Monday.

Date 1 (D2)

I went straight from work, she turned up looking great with a grey dress on which ended just above her knees and showed off a surprisingly large cleavage for a girl of such a small and slender frame. She still wasn’t wearing any make-up and also had aviators on. I told her she looked nice and teased her for copying my sunglasses.

I walked her down Flinders street towards the river and took her to a bar on the waterfront. We sat at high stools beside each other overlooking the river, it was around 7.30pm but it was still about 30 degrees outside and the sun was just about to set, it was the perfect setting.

I got the drinks in and the conversation flowed. I could tell she was nervous but I didn’t mention it.

She commented a couple of times on my intense eye contact and how she couldn’t normally hold eye contact with people as she was very shy. I dismissed this and said shy girls don’t talk to men on the street.

I excused myself to go to the toilet and when i came back she told me “this is going to sound crazy but, I think we would have amazing looking kids!”.

“Wow, wow, wow, lets slow this thing down, I’m not that easy!”

Even though she was joking she was obviously already sizing me up as a potential partner. I found at that she was 27 and had recently come out of a 9 year relationship and I was the first guy she had been on a date with since her one and only boyfriend. Her small stature makes her look much younger than 27.

It was now around 9pm, it was still too early to try and bounce her to my place so I took her for another drink at a nearby rooftop bar. We sat beside each other on a couch and I tried to kiss her a few times. She resisted every attempt and told me that she didn’t like to kiss in public.

We left the bar and I told her that we could go back to mine for a night cap. I hailed a cab and she did not object. I got her into the flat and poured us both a glass of water, she is not a big drinker and I had work the next morning so this was fine by me. I played a few songs on the guitar and she started singing along with a surprisingly loud voice. She then took the guitar and played a few tunes of her own, she was just as good at me and I was genuinely impressed.

I took the guitar back off her and we started kissing quite passionately. She stopped me and said “how have you done this? This isn’t even supposed to be a date!”

I picked her up, which was very easy as she weighs about 40 kilos, and carried her to the bedroom. I thought it was a one deal but she put up strong LMR for about 45mins. I got my dick out and I also fingered her, but she pushed me away every time I tried to get my D in the V.

It was midnight now and I had to be up for work in the morning so I threw in the towel and she ordered an uber for herself to go home. She texted me when she got home and thanked me for a great evening. It looks good for a second date.

We text back and forth over the next day or so and I set up a second date for the next Friday.

Date 2 (D3)

We meet at the same place at 7pm. I met her straight from work again and I had already had a couple of post work drinks. She turns up looking even hotter in a white shirt and red mini-skirt. She quickly notices that I’ve already been drinking but I reassure her that it takes quite a few drinks for me to get drunk and she relaxes. I take her for a couple of drinks in the CBD before catching a cab back to mine, again.

This time I get all her clothes off except her underwear. She is wearing lacy white underpants and a bra and I get a closer look at her breasts. As I’m fondling her I put my hand up her bra and squeeze her left breast. She moans loudly with pleasure. It feels a bit too firm to be natural, she’s obviously had a boob job and I do not complain. I tell her I like them and she thanks me.

We play around for another hour or so and she is not letting me fuck her. I respect the fact that she’s only ever slept with one man before and that it will probably take a few more attempts. I suggest that she sleeps over but she insists on going home. I do not object as I much prefer having the bed to myself. She gets herself an uber once again and is on her merry way.

We are still in contact and I will definitely see her again. Hopefully the next post will be a long overdue lay report and a new flag. Jai Ho!

Russian Riddle

c84e9631e618d292daffe31fd86a36a3--mini-skirts-mini-dressesI have a lay report to write from Thursday night, but I’ve opted to share some misery first as I have learned more from it…

A few saturdays back I decided to do some daygame in my Trump T-shirt. I’d gotten a few reactions but didn’t trigger as many people as I hoped I would. I’d been out on and off all day but I felt quite tired as I’d been out drinking the night before and had a crappy night’s sleep.

Anyway, its late, around 9pm and I’m winging with GG. It is eerily quiet on Oxford street for a Saturday night and it’s starting to get a little bit chilly. I walk with GG for around 45mins, he does a set or two and I don’t see anything I like. It’s my turn to do a set when a tall blonde walks towards us. GG wants to open her “I’m doing it if you don’t” he barks at me. Don’t you worry GG, I shall be opening this set…

Open

I open and guess that she’s Russian and accuse her of being a spy. She starts to talk and I can hear by her accent that she is indeed Russian. We talk for a minute or so before she asks if we can walk, she doesn’t like standing and talking. We walk up and down for 5 minutes before I suggest a drink. She agrees.

idate

In the bar I got a beer, she a glass of white wine. I pointed at high stools, she said no and pointed towards the couch. She’s already stealing the frame, but for the better.

She tells me she’s been in London for 5 months. She’s studying English, her English is good and I am already picking up on her good sense of humour. She lived and worked in Moscow but grew up in a village and is 29. She’s a low 8, probably would have been a 9 a few years ago.

I asked her where she was on her way to before I spoke to her and she said “I was waiting for someone to talk to me and take me for a drink and you were that guy.” This girl had obviously been daygamed before. I told her she was funny and she said “well one of us has to be.” Feisty.

She quizzed me on my Trump T-shirt and started asking if I actually liked him. I’d dropped myself in it now.

My mother told me to never talk religion, politics or work to a lady

She persisted and started telling me that she really liked Trump until he got in office. I told her I liked his charisma and his leadership before quickly changing the subject.

We finished the drink and I told her I wanted to go home, I was really tired even though it was now only around 11pm. She seemed disappointed, I went home and she carried on “walking”.

We pinged back and forth, arranged another date for a week later only for her to cancel on the day. I thought that was the end of it.

I pinged her again a few days ago and surprisingly she agreed to meet me for a drink on a Friday night.

D2

We agreed to meet at 9, I text her at 8.30 telling her I’d be there at 9.10, she said she would also be late. I told her the last one there would buy the first drinks. I got there first as you can see above, she eventually rocked up at almost 9.30.

She had made quite an effort wearing black boots, tight black jeans, tight black t-shirt and a black blazer, she wore dark purple lipstick on which accentuated her big pouty lips.

I started walking her towards the cock tavern and she complained that she didn’t like the look of it, she preferred more European style bars. I told her she was in England and should appreciate the local culture before conceding and walking her to a cocktail bar further up the road called the lucky pig.

It was noisy and crowded but she liked it. I walked to the bar, ordered myself a beer and her a glass of wine and reminded her that it was her turn to pay. After I had ordered the drinks she said she didn’t want wine and ordered herself a cocktail. I drank the beer and the wine, both on her tab.

We found a little corner, she sat on the ledge, I leant against a wall. I asked her if she had ever played questions game. She said “yes, last night with a Russian guy.” I was shocked and didn’t hide it very well “Oh, ok, well what rules did you play?”

You have to tell the truth and you can’t ask the same question back [1]

Yes that’s more or less it.

She was now making it very clear that she had been on at least one date with another daygamer. After this she prodded away for weakness with each question;

Have you ever dress as a woman?

Have you ever been so drunk that you don’t remember anything?

Did you have an embarrassing nickname at school?

I asked her which nationality of men she found most attractive. Without hesitation she said “Spanish, they are tall, dark and handsome”. She is now clearly signalling that she is not attracted to me, or at least that’s how I took it.

We were in the first venue for just over an hour by now and I had gotten very close to her lips a few times as I leaned in to either hear her or to speak in her ear. There were a few moments I could have went for the kiss and in hindsight this is when I should have done it.

I asked her to tell me something about her that I would never guess. She started telling me some crappy story about how she helped get her drunk friend home one evening.

I waited patiently for her to finish this story before announcing “Let’s go”.

She seemed shocked, I started walking towards the door and she followed. When we got outside she asked why we were leaving. I told her it was too loud in there and that I wanted to go to a normal pub. It was now 11pm, and the two pubs near my flat had closed.

This just isn’t your night, is it?

Nothing is going to plan

What did you expect to happen by now?

We both knew what she was asking, I didn’t react, I let her walk ahead a little and pulled her back by her arm in the opposite direction to go to another bar that I saw was open nearby.

The seating arrangements were crap and it was noisy as well. I could feel her becoming less and less interested and I was caring less and less as the time passed. We forced each other to carry on with the questions game but it was more out of politeness more than anything else. I had lost the frame completely and I couldn’t be bothered to try and wrestle it back. I decided to crash the car…

when was the last time you had sex? – I looked her dead in the eye as i said it.

 I’m not answering that, you can’t ask me these questions.

It was last night then.

I had totally lost the frame by now but I was passed the point of caring. I may even have been a little jealous at her previous evenings date. The car was crashed. We left the bar at around midnight and i meekly invited her back to my place, she laughed and said “no thanks.”

I walked her back to Regent street so she could catch her bus. As we sat at the bus stop waiting I grabbed her chin and went for the kiss. She pulled away very fast.

I tried again when her bus came, again she rejected me. I said “Fine, goodbye.”

Part of me wants to have solid game to overcome girls with such a strong frame, the other part just wants nothing to do with them. The riddle I’m still trying to solve is if I actually like this girl. She’s an 8, smart and funny but she is also a princess and openly hypergamous. The player in me enjoyed the challenge and chode in me found it irritating. As I left her at the bus stop I was relieved, I could relax and didn’t feel like I had to put on a show anymore.

Learning Points

  • I should have escalated earlier, I was intimidated by her hotness and her strong frame
  • I shouldn’t have been so reactive when she told me about her date the previous evening
  • I’m still fucking up the basics – venue selection
  • I need to get better at deciding if I actually like the girl or if it’s pure lust
  • Maybe I’m not that good at this game thing

 

[1] I first saw Ricky do this and I’m copying him.

Near Miss: Yet another crazy girl

02b80ac9e69400e8b35d1969b2f4a9d7--tattooed-girls-inked-girls
Body wasn’t as good as this but the tattoos are the same style.

It seems that I am getting more near misses than notches these days, they are happening too frequently to be “bad luck”. The main cause is that I have been pulling a lot harder and faster for a variety of reasons. “That’s the life I live. On the edge. The narrow path between heaven and hell” – Krauser said this once and it seems to align with the current stage of my journey. This tale involves yet another crazy girl, in fact, probably the craziest yet…

Sunday past I was winging with Ricky Roma, we rarely wing together even though we live under the same roof. In London there just aren’t enough sets and I am a greedy daygamer, I want all the hot girls to myself. However, it had been a fruitless weekend of game so far and it was a balmy day so we decided to walk around together enjoying the sunshine and shooting the shit whilst taking turns as the sets presented themselves.

We were walking from Leicester square towards Piccadilly Circus when we both saw a slim brunette walking towards us. As she got closer we noticed she had a nice midriff on display which had several tattoos on it. We let her pass and I gave Ricky the nod as it was my turn to open. I did a classic front-stop and looked at her like a sex deprived maniac gave her the “mesma”, if I wasn’t anonymous you could see said mesma in the picture below. She gave me a huge smile, It was on. She would later tell me that she noticed me before I noticed her and that she saw me turn to run after, she was expecting the approach.

The kids to the left obviously recognise solid game when they see it.

The set lasted somewhere between 5 and 10 minutes. I found out she was English, was a free-lance make-up artist for drag queens and was 24 years old. She was quite giggly and had a lot of nervous energy during the set. I put that down to her just being shy, but I would find out the real reason later.

As we spoke I couldn’t help but look her up and down and analyse her tattoos. I made sure to touch them as I enquired to their meaning. She was slim but not athletic slim, more the doesn’t eat a lot and is still young slim, she’ll be rotten in a few years. However, she looked filthy and yes, you guessed it, I really wanted to bang her.

She told me she was on her way to the national gallery to look at an exhibition, I took her number and walked off with a good feeling.

As you can see above, she was very keen. We arranged to meet the following Wednesday, note that she pinged me the day before to confirm. GREEN FLAG 1

It had been pissing down all day on the day of the date, I was surprised that she was still keen to come out. I turned up exactly on time, she messaged me a few minutes before 7pm saying that she would be a couple of minutes late. She would end up being 30 minutes late as she got lost twice on the way. Even though I gave her a very specific meeting point she managed to go to two other Top Shops and then blamed me for organizing a bad meeting place. She turned up looking like a drowned rat with soggy wet hair and some of her make-up was running. She was wearing black knee-high boots, black leggings a silver dress, with NO BRA underneath and a black denim jacket. She looked very bangable despite the drowned rat look. I went to give her a kiss on the cheek and I could smell the stench of stale cigarettes from her breath. Lovely.

I had a big golf umbrella so I pulled her under and walked us to the first venue which was a Sam Smiths pub called the Cock Tavern. It was packed inside and had standing room only. I got myself a beer and her a glass of white wine as I anchored myself on the bar and she stood opposite me. She was a bag of nerves and giggled at absolutely everything I said. As she sipped her white wine her hands were trembling. I tried to calm her down and started into the normal comfort fluff… She told me that she had just switched hostels and had no fixed living abode as she was leaving the country at the end of the month. GREEN FLAG 2

I asked her why she didn’t have work that day and she told me that she’s not allowed to work. I didn’t enquire as to why at this point. RED FLAG 1

We finished our drink at around 20:15 and I had the next venue booked which was just around the corner for 20:30. We were still early so we had a smoke under a porch opposite the venue which looked closed.

At this point she started showing me lots of photos from her instagram account. All of her pictures were of her with transexuals and drag queens. She looked hot in them all but I couldn’t help but be repulsed by the others in her pictures. She noticed this and asked if I had a problem, I said “no, I’ve just never met a girl like you before”. I had met some crazy bitches but this one was well on her way to taking the biscuit. As she was showing me these pictures she kept calling the drags/trannies by their stage names and saying “she is my absolute favourite, she’s so fun to party with” etc…. So not only does she follow these sick people (yes they are sick, if you think otherwise, then you’re wrong) she also hangs out with them. RED FLAG 2

When we finished our cigarettes I led us across the road to the venue entrance. It’s a little underground bar which you have to book in advance. The doors were locked despite me booking. FUCK

I rang the doorbell and the owner eventually answered. I told him I had a booking and he beckoned us inside out of the torrential rain. He led us down the stairs and there was no-one else in the venue. Perfect.

We sat beside each other on a couch, she ordered a cocktail and I a beer. As we waited for the drinks I started the questions game. Her first question was a sexual one. GREEN FLAG 3

Soon after this I went for the first kiss attempt and there was no resistance, she responded enthusiastically with full tongue. GREEN FLAG 4

We spoke about relationships, she explains how she believes in polygamy and doesn’t want anything serious, if she did she wouldn’t have agreed to meet me as she knows she’s leaving at the end of the month. GREEN FLAG 5

It felt on like donkey kong and I was already formulating this blog post in my head. It got to around 21:30 and it still felt too early to bounce. In hindsight I should have bounced, but I ordered us another round instead, by this point I’m down £40 in drinks.

“You never asked me why I can’t work” she stated.

“I figured you would tell me if you wanted to” I responded.

“I don’t normally tell people this…. but….. a few months ago…. I was diagnosed as bi-polar” she said before leaning back and examining my reaction. RED FLAG 3

“oh, I thought everyone was bi-polar these days?!” I retorted trying to keep the tone of the conversation light hearted.

She went on to explain why she was like this and asked me if it was a problem. I said of course not and tried to change the subject as quickly as possible. However, inside I was thinking, two personalities ain’t shit, I’ve dealt with four in one girl in the past.

At this stage of the date my thought process is that the green flags are outnumbering the red so I needed to keep running the train. I had work the next day but it was still early enough to bounce.

As we came to the end of the second round I suggested wine at my place. She agreed straight away. GREEN FLAG 6

We walked towards my apartment which was a 4 minute walk and she said suddenly;

“you haven’t even asked me what I studied yet”

“Oh, ok, what did you study?”

“POLITICS, I love politics, I think people are sooooo under-educated when it comes to politics and it’s my job to inform them” She announced. RED FLAG 4

Fuck.

“Oh, well my mother told me it’s a very bad idea to speak about death, politics or religion on a first meeting with a girl” I retorted.

“Jeremy Corbyn is my absolute faaaaaavourite politician, he should be PM instead of those tory scum-bags”. RED FLAG 5

Inside I was thinking “just get her to the flat and get this over and done with”.

I decided to humour her and myself a little. “Let me guess, you’re not a fan of Trump either?” I responded.

“NOOOOO, he is a stupid, racist, sexist buffoon”. RED FLAG 6

“Oh what do you know, I live right here, let’s get out of the rain”. Thank fuck we had arrived at the door, saved by the logistics.

When I got her into my room I poured us some wine and strummed a few tunes on the guitar. She was mightily impressed and even sang along whilst recording herself on snap-chat. She got instant gratification from hundreds or chodes telling her how beautiful her voice was. She sounded like a drowning cat.

 

I lay beside her on the bed and started escalating. I told her I wanted to see the rest of her tattoos. She quickly pulled off her leggings to reveal pasty white legs covered in colourful ink. All she had on now was a thong and her skimpy little dress. GREEN FLAG 7

She then began snatching the frame and choosing lots of songs on YouTube that she just had to show me. After each one I’d escalate again but she wasn’t playing along. Eventually I went for it and got my finger inside her pussy. She enjoyed it for about three seconds before pushing my hand out and announcing “NO, I don’t have sex on the first date, it’s my thing”. RED FLAG 7

I didn’t believe her, it was getting late, i’d invested a lot in this crazy bitch in terms of time, effort and money.

“Reeeeally?!!” I responded.

“Yes”

“So YOU are telling ME that you have NEVER had sex on a first date????” I was pissed off and I didn’t try to hide it one little bit.

“No, despite appearances I am not an easy girl”.

“I’m sorry love, but I just don’t believe you”.

I sat there in silence for about 15 minutes as she watched her shitty videos. This wasn’t a strategic roll-off, I was furious.

I tried again a few minutes later and she resisted. I told her I had to be up for work in the morning so she should leave. I walked her back to the tube and on the way she had the cheek to say “I think as I get older I am becoming more asexual, it just doesn’t interest me that much anymore”. RED FLAG 8

In hindsight I don’t know how I didn’t lose my shit with this girl, maybe I felt sorry for her fucked up little head. Anyway, we’re still in touch on whatsapp so I may yet get the notch. Why is it only me who seems to find these gems?

 

Near Miss: Californian Girl

karen-mcdougal-2
She was actually hotter than the girl in this pic and younger looking
This is a painful post to write as I got so so close, but now she has left the country and I’ll probably never see her again. However, I’m fairly certain I know where I fucked up…

I hit the streets on Saturday for my first proper session back in London and as expected, it was SHIT. I did 8 sets and got one number. I’d forgotten how bad the quality was, how unreceptive the girls were and how harsh the blowouts can be in London after 3 months in Eastern Europe. I had no enthusiasm to be on the streets at all and the quality drop was hitting me hard. I sacked off the daygame and went for beers with the lads that evening.

The next day I woke up late and in a shitty mood so I decided to get up, get showered and go walk off my hangover. My plan was to go out and enjoy the sunshine, I wasn’t going to throw myself in front of any buses. I left the flat at around 3pm,  walked to the bottom of my street and ordered a coffee at the Costa. I meandered down Regent street, it was Sunday so they had pedestrianised it. There was a carnival atmosphere, it was mainly families, but it was nice to be outside.

I took the first sip of my scorching hot Americano and I almost spat it straight back out when I saw a very tanned brunette with big pouty lips and MASSIVE tits, she was wearing a flowery dress attached to a black boob tube and walking in my direction. I let her pass me and I had a good look at her front behind, she had a big flowery tattoo on her back. I noticed that every mans head was turning in her direction as she strolled up the street. I had to do it.

Open

I told her she looked pretty, she was very exotic and that she looked like she had just come from the beach. She just stood there looking me up and down.

“You’re definitely not from London, maybe you are from a caribbean Island..” I continued.

“HAHAHA, NOOO, IM FROM CALIFORNIA!!” she said in her loud, nasally, American accent. It irritates the shit out of me, but I decided I’d put up with it on this one occasion.

I found out she was a nurse in California, loved to travel and was only in London until Tuesday. I asked her what she was up to and she said;

“Actually, I’m looking for a bar, I WANNA DRINK!”

Ding, Ding, Ding went the SDL bell. I looked at her, looked at my full Americano and said “I know a nice bar just around the corner, let’s go”

V1 – 15:15

I walked her to a bar on Kingly street. We sat opposite each other at a table outside. I got us drinks, she had a double jack daniels and I a beer. We did the comfort fluff and I found out she loved to drink, exercise and travel. However, the most interesting piece of information was that her tits were fake, double D’s. They were impressive. We talked a lot about the plastic surgery culture and gym obsession in California, about her career and her family. She was 31 but she looks more like she’s in her mid-twenties due to going to the gym every day and the surgery. She’s a high 7, would have been and 8 a few years ago, I really wanted to bang her.

She offered to get the next round in but I suggested we go for a walk and she agreed. I walked her to a bar across the road from my new flat.

V2 – 16:00

She ordered us both double Laphroaig’s, we sat on a bench outside and I started the questions game. I asked her why she was single and she said that no man has been able to put up with her travelling. She travels solo a lot and often for two weeks at a time. I asked her to show me some pictures from her travels and at this point I sat beside her. I did my best to escalate both physically and verbally but it was difficult given that we were sitting outside in the broad daylight and there were a lot of people around. After another drink I decided to try and bounce her to the apartment

V2 – 17:30

As we were walking I asked her if she liked red wine and she said yes. I invited her to my apartment which just happened to be directly across the road. She agreed to come up without a fuss. I gave her a quick tour before taking her to my bedroom as Ricky and GG were also in the flat. I poured us red wine and I showed her some youtube videos. She guzzled the first glass down in about half a second, I refilled her glass and went for the first kiss. There was no resistance but she pulled away first. This happened a few times but she resisted further escalation.

I rolled off and then she said she wanted to go out. She got up to go to the toilet and bumped into Ricky in the hallway so we all had a brief chat before leaving. He would later text me this…

Ricky is slightly more generous with the HB rating
It was now around 18:30. I suggested we go to Camden market and she liked this idea. We finished the wine (she drank most of it!) and made our way out. As we were walking we decided we were hungry so went for burgers…

V4 – 18:45

Nice buns
After food I told her it was now too late to go to Camden so walked her to another bar at the top of my street. We had another drink each then started walking towards mine. I walked us into the supermarket and just assumed that she was keen to come back to mine. I bought a bottle of wine and walked back to the flat, she followed.

It was now somewhere between 20:30-21:00. I got her onto the bed again and poured the wine, again. We were both quite tipsy by now and she was very chatty. I put on Vicky, Cristina, Barcelona, we didn’t watch it much and the kissing got a lot more intense. I pulled her underwear aside and started fingering her hard. She was moaning loudly and I thought it was game, set and match. But then she pushed my hand away. I rolled off and tried again two more times. As I was fingering her the third time I tried to remove her top, but it was attached to her skirt, I’d never seen such a garment! I asked her how the hell do I remove it and she just laughed. Eventually her forebrain took full control and she said “I don’t have sex on the first date, this is too fast”. I rolled off completely hoping that she would reinitiate. But about 30 minutes later, at around 23:30, she ordered herself an Uber and was gone. Before she left she talked about hanging out the next day (Monday) as she would leave on Tuesday morning. Deal.


I pinged her the next morning, she was replying but I felt that the bubble had already burst and as suspected she ghosted after her last message at 11:54.

Where did it all go wrong?

I think I made the right call in trying to go for the SDL even though she had another day in town. I don’t think I escalated too fast, in fact, quite the opposite. The idate lasted 8 hours, 1 more than recommended by Mystery. When I had her in the bedroom the second time I should have got my dick out. Krauser probably would have done it in the first bar!

Oh well, I will know for next time…

Moscow Misery

3f85ffa4b8214d91a2f44c70f26f3e2a
Where was she?!

I was really trying to put a positive spin on this Moscow experience, but I wrote the post, re-read it and realised that I’m not Willy Wonka, I can’t sugar-coat shit. Enjoy the misery…

I’ve recounted the events of the past month and I am still wondering how the hell I only got ONE daygame notch considering the volume of daygame I did. I heeded the warnings from other gamers that it wasn’t an easy city to get laid in, but I’d heard the same about Belgrade. I was quietly confident before I arrived that I would get at least a couple of new notches on the belt. Moscow had other ideas.

As I mentioned in my first impressions post, I was highly optimistic after a week here despite not seeing much to encourage this optimism. Unfortunately, things did not get much better. I’m still massively underwhelmed by the quality that was on display compared to what I was expecting. This mixed with the expense of the city, its shit weather and the high flake rate made it difficult for me to enjoy my time there. If the lads weren’t there to hang out with, I may have had my first meltdown.

If I had to rank the 4 cities I have been to so far in terms of how much I enjoyed them overall it would be as follows;

  1. Belgrade
  2. St. Petersburg
  3. Warsaw
  4. Moscow

The numbers will help explain how I have come to this damning verdict;

Daygame

Sets Number FB Flake Date Flake idate Date Near Miss Lays
128 36.72% 1.56% 28.57% 10.94% 2.34% 4.69% 0.78% 0.78%
6.74 47 2 14 14 3 6 1 1

As always, these numbers are daygame only. I opened 128 sets over 19 sessions, 6.74 sets a session. I closed 49 of these giving a close rate of 1 in 2.61, slightly better than I did in Warsaw. As I mentioned in my first impressions post, closing is not the problem. The next few columns are where it gets painful. 14 flaked without replying to the feeler. 14 girls agreed to meet but then either cancelled on the day or just ghosted. This number increases to 25 when I include reschedules; this is ridiculous considering that I was in Moscow for 26 nights. One day sticks out in the memory very clearly when I had 3 dates lined up, all three flaked, I managed to get one replacement and she flaked as well. I genuinely thought the city was trolling me; it was as if all the girls had gotten together and colluded to foil my pussy slaying crusade.

I idated 3 girls. The first one was just a coffee in the mall and then she flaked. The second was on my second last night when I was SDL hunting. She was 18 and had just come out of a relationship which she would bring up every time I tried to escalate, so I didn’t get anywhere with her despite spending 4 hours with her. The third was on my last night, a very cute 22 year old blond who I opened as I was about to wrap it up for the day and the trip. She asked ME if I wanted to go for a coffee, I thought I’d hit the jackpot. We got takeaway coffees, went for a walk and then to a shisha bar where I kissed her. She was very into it but resisted the bounce to my place. I walked her to her door, she lived nearby, but she wouldn’t let me come up either.

I only had 6 first dates. I didn’t convert any of these to a lay, however I did bang one of them on my only second date in Moscow.

I had one near miss where the girl was gagging for it, got her to my front door and her ASD kicked in. She said it was too soon after agreeing in the bar to come back. She said she would come back next time and then ghosted.

Night Game

I don’t keep stats on night game, but here are a few stories;

I got laid about a week in after an evening in a bar that would become affectionately known as the dive bar. There was zero game involved on my part. Ricky Roma asked me to wing him on a two-set. He wanted me to distract the obstacle so I went in and said hello to it. Immediately she asked my name, where I was from, where I lived and whom I lived with. I explained that I have my own apartment. She suggested that we get a taxi there right away. I looked her up and down, looked at the time, it was around 2.30am and said to myself “fuck it, a notch is a notch”. She was giving me a strip-tease dance in my bedroom within half an hour of meeting her. She was 26, a low 6 and not what I flew all the way to Moscow for. Why can’t the hot ones be that easy?!

Classy.

I took another girl out who I number closed on a different night. She was blond and in her late 20’s. It was a dull date, her English was terrible and she turned up in jeans, trainers, a jumper and a sports jacket. The perils of night game, you are opening them when they look at their best so when you meet them for the date they will probably look worse, especially when you take the beer goggles off. I kissed her a few times but she was having none of it when I suggested we go back to mine. I never heard from her again and I didn’t bother messaging her either.

I had a near miss, which I have already written about here. I was certain that I would get the notch from her but then I received this message a few days later…

One evening I went out with GG, Mr Arr and Krauser. We went to the dive bar after what was for me, a fruitless daygame session. Nick announced that one of his leads would be joining us and would be bringing a friend. Before they arrived he reiterated the usual wing rules in night game, DHV him, don’t hit on his target etc. Nicks girls arrived when Mr Arr and I were outside smoking, I opened them thinking they were just random girls then they immediately said “are you with Nick?”. I told them we were and that we would walk in with them. We all did introductions then I more or less blanked the girls, this wasn’t on purpose, my phone lit up with messages from other girls. Krauser and Mr Arr talked to the two girls, I saw another two-set sat at the bar and I went over and opened them, GG kindly winged me for a little while and I took both of their numbers. At the end of the night both of Nicks girls ended up in a cab with me back to my place. I’m still not quite sure how this happened as I didn’t try to pull them, I’m assuming either they just fancied me or they wanted to come with me as I lived closer to where they wanted to go. I got them both on to the bed and I thought I was about to have my first threesome, but only one of them was into it. We kissed while the other one lay on the end of the bed awkwardly. I tried to pull her towards us then the other one triumphantly announced “we’re not having sex with you!” I couldn’t be bothered trying to beat the LMR as I didn’t find either of them that hot. So I decided to trump her triumphalism and kicked them both out at around 4am without taking either of their numbers. Take that, whores.

Why was it so bad?

It wasn’t bad for everyone, Krauser and GG both got on better than I did. There are a few things I may have done wrong in hindsight. Potential explanations could be;

  1. The girls there just don’t like me
  2. My texting may not have been tight enough
  3. I may have been too “r” in set and/or dates
  4. The girls may have been too “K”
  5. I may have just been plain unlucky
  6. The stench of pussy repellent may have been overpowering for the girls
  7. I could be suffering from burn-out after more than two months on the road doing solid daygame
  8. I’m no good at daygame
  9. The girls only put out for the local guys and pretend to be holier than thou for the foreigners in the hope that we are their ticket out of their boring lives
  10. I may have gotten more than I deserved in Belgrade and Warsaw and the Daygame Gods are now levelling things out

I could be delusional but I don’t think it has anything to do with numbers 1-9 and the only possible explanation is number 10. However, I have heard number 9 from a couple of different sources, a girl I dated in Poland who lived in Moscow for 2 years, and Mr Arr said one of his Russian friends said the same.

Highlights

  • I banged a hot 17 year old
  • I enjoyed hanging out with the lads
  • I read an advanced copy of one of Krauser’s upcoming books. It’s very good. There is a lot of new content in there on vibe, inner game and pre-approach. His game has changed since Mastery and I can verify (at least the in-street section) that it is an accurate reflection of what he is currently doing. I’ve started incorporating some of it into my game already, particularly the texting. I have given him my tuppence on it and we will be going through it again at a later date.
  • I have 2 solid long leads, but I doubt I’ll ever go back for them
  • St. Petersburg was good… oops wrong post

Lowlights

  • The high flake rate. I thought Warsaw was bad, but this was outrageous
  • I spent a lot of money
  • The girls weren’t as hot or as plentiful as expected
  • The weather was shit for more than half of my time there

Conclusion

It is possible to get laid fast in Moscow, Krauser, Ricky Roma and GG all proved this. However, this is the exception to the rule. From my experience the hotter the girl, the more typically K selected she will be and hence the more dates will be required to get the notch. Most girls I dated obviously realised that I was not sticking around even though I was there for a month and could have easily seen them multiple times.  The only reason I can ever see myself going back is for revenge, I can’t help but feel that I have been mugged.

Near Miss: Hot Polish Blondie

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She’s not quite this hot

I don’t like writing about near misses for a couple of reasons; it’s frustrating recounting it as I got so near, yet so far. There is still potential to see the girl again so there is always a small worry in the back of my head that she may somehow see the blog post. But I’ll tell the story anyway…

I hit the bars on Saturday night with Mr R. We were considering going down to the river but it was raining heavily so we went to Pawilowny square which is the little district of bars that contains the Serial Killer Bar.

We left the bar and were on our way out of Pawilowny about to head home at around midnight.

I saw a blonde stunner standing outside another bar smoking a cigarette, she was in a white dress and high heels, a solid 8. I Walker Walked right over to her without hesitation and laid on some tipsy patter.

I vaguely remember her telling me she was studying French so I gave her some of my best GCSE level French, “Je my pelle Roy!”.  She seemed to like it and I walked away with her number not expecting anything of it. Night game numbers are notoriously flakey for me (even though I’ve fluked two notches from them on this jaunt so far).

Texting


I pinged her the next day and to my surprise, she replied a couple of hours later. There was a little bit of back and forth before I went for the date invite. I proposed Tuesday and she said she would let me know. She messaged me first the next day (Monday) proposing a time and place for the date. Good sign. I didn’t hear anything from her the day of the date until 8 minutes before we were due to meet. I thought she was going to flake.

Date

We met at Klaps bar and it was really busy on the ground floor. I got us a seat at a table, I sat on the couch and she sat on a small stool to my right.  It was too soon to ask her to sit beside me. We got off to a bit of an awkward start before I admitted I couldn’t really remember what I said to her when I spoke to her. She said she knew I was drunk but I still seemed cool and she wanted to see what I was like when I was sober. I’m a functioning alcoholic it seems.

We did some comfort fluff and I found out she’s 22, still a student, was a rebel at school and will graduate two years late as a result. After this I proposed we go downstairs to the smoking section for a cigarette, she liked this idea.

We sat on a couch beside each other and I started the questions game. Things escalated very quickly from this point as she wasted no time in getting to the saucy questions. She was telling some very personal things which I won’t share on here, but they didn’t make it appropriate to try and kiss her. Calibrate, kids.

After another drink downstairs the time had gotten to around 23:45. I pulled out my phone, showed her the time and asked her if she would like to go to one more place. She agreed.

We walked for about 10 minutes to the Sultan Club which is a grotty little 24 hour “club” opposite my flat.

We had one drink in there and we carried on the questions game. In what was almost a carbon copy of the Ukrainian date she asked me what I expected from the evening. I reiterated that I obviously found her attractive but I was still deciding if she was cool or not. She probed more, “yeah, but what did you think would happen?”. I sighed whilst inwardly shouting WHY ARE GIRLS ALWAYS COCK-BLOCKING THEMSELVES?! I asked her if she had ever seen the movie Vicky, Cristina, Barcelona? She had so I reminded her of the scene when Juan Antonio walks over to the girls in the restaurant, gives them the proposition of coming to Oviedo for the weekend and gets nothing but shit tests from Vicky. He turns to Cristina and says “Does she always analyse every inspiration until it’s grain of charm is…. squeezed out of it?”. I told her she was being Vicky right now, she smiled and we moved on to the next question.

Shortly after this we were kissing and it felt on. It was now pushing 1am and she had to be up for work at 7am the next morning. I told her I had some wine and beer at home, we should go back to watch some YouTube videos and she could show me the Polish music she was talking about earlier. She said “No, I don’t do this on the first date”. “OK, it’s my job to try and yours to say no”.

We were walking down the road past my apartment block, I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the entrance.

“Where are we going?!”

“I live here, let’s go up for ONE drink, you can leave whenever you want”

She smiled and said “OK, just one and nothing will happen”

“I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to”.

We got into the flat and I gave her a little tour, stuck youtube on and offered her a drink. She wanted a beer so I opened two cans. We had a cigarette on the balcony and we chatted nonsense for a little while before we started kissing heavily. We were standing near the bed and I had my hands down her jeans squeezing her pert little ass cheeks whilst kissing her. I then stopped, grabbed the laptop from the dining table, grabbed her hand and asked her to sit on the bed, it’s more comfortable. She said no and immediately insisted on leaving. “I told you one drink and nothing was going to happen”. She was a woman of her word and I was a man of mine.

I walked her home which was only a few minutes away, we kissed some more and it all ended on positive terms. We’re still texting so hopefully I will see her again.

 

Is Daygame Getting Harder in London?

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March statistics

Sessions Sets Number FB Flake idate Date Near Misses Lays
20 100 15.00% 5.00% 50.00% 1.00% 1.00% 0.00% 0.00%
Sets p/ session 5.00 15 5 10 1 1 0 0

Shite, right? These are embarrassingly bad statistics but there is no fake news on this blog. This is the reality of pick up, there are good times, and there are very, very bad times.

I closed at more or less the same rate as usual in March. Half of the girls flaked, the other half responded but were either “too busy” to come out or left town. I had one idate with an Asian which was going well but as we went to leave the bar she told me she just wanted to be friends. I lost the plot at this point and stormed off in a huff without even taking her number. I really need to stop bothering with Asian girls, I only open them because I think they’ll be easy and they always end up frustrating the shit out of me. Fools gold.

The date I went on was with a Lithuanian time waster who turned up, had a cup of tea and left after 45 minutes of her talking a lot about herself whilst rebutting all of my escalation and frame grab attempts. As hot as girls are, they can be very annoying if they don’t participate in the seduction dance.

Now, on to the topic of the click bait title.

I have been analysing my game a fair bit and I’m pretty sure it’s not gotten as bad as the statistics suggest. This leaves a few possibilities;

  1. My game has become stagnant
  2. I’ve been unlucky
  3. I’m opening hotter girls
  4. I’m not opening enough
  5. Daygame is getting harder in London

All of these are probably true. I game a lot, but I don’t spam. As you can see from the stats, I average 5 sets per session. I would have opened more if there were enough 7’s about, but there weren’t. Out of the 240 girls I opened in the first quarter of 2017, about 3 of them were 6’s, the rest were 7’s and up. I still closed 20% of these girls but getting them out proved difficult.

I’ve been discussing the situation in London amongst our little daygame rat pack. Xants is very smug, he’s done about 2 sets all year and gotten 2 notches. Ricky Roma also has two under his belt, one in Russia and one in London. I congratulated both at the time whilst inwardly swearing at them. Mr W is in the same boat as me as well as Gollum the Gamma (another wing with an Norn Irish accent but is actually looks Indian).

A daygamer by the pseudonym of Rafael Deangelo contacted me through the blog and told me of similar struggles, I haven’t met the guy yet but he seems genuine and I can definitely relate.

I gamed throughout winter last year and got a few notches in the process. I expected the same this year but all of my efforts were in vain. Why was it different this year?

I had more excitement at the beginning of last year, I hadn’t moved to London at this point but I was spending 3 or 4 days a week here, staying in Air BnB’s very centrally which made bouncing back a lot easier than my current situation. I think both of these factors made a massive difference, if you have enthusiasm and good logistics it’s a lot easier to get laid.

Despite that, gaming on the streets of London has felt a bit off lately. I get the feeling that most girls have heard it all before and they’re just a bit tired of it. Maybe they have all contracted feminism, maybe they have all been opened twenty million times, maybe they are all simultaneously actually busy.

I am a big believer in that no matter how burnt a place is, you can still get laid, my experience in Prague last year proved this. However, it wasn’t the case in London this winter.

This leads me to the lazy conclusion that my game is still amazing and that London is indeed fucked*. The best thing for me will be to get away. Good job I’m going on a big Euro Jaunt in a few days, hopefully, this will be my last misery post for a few months.

* If you’re an active daygamer in London let me know if you’ve had similar struggles, or even better, if you’ve been slaying it, if so, teach me, I pay top dollar.

The Walker Walk

Still nothing to report on the daygame front and I haven’t done a blog post in a while so I have resorted to trolling. This is what happens when you aren’t getting laid kids…

I was walking down Regent street a while back on the perpetual pussy slaying crusade.

I was talking with Ricky Roma, as we weaved our way through the sea of 6s. We started to discuss blind approaches and I told him about a guy I knew in Manchester that would spam approach every girl without even seeing their faces. He would run around from behind, get in front and open. If he didn’t like their face he would ask them for the time. That was his thing.

At this point Ricky demonstrated what he does in this situation. My explanation may not be doing this justice, but I will try. He walks fast (doesn’t run) from behind, gets a metre or two in front, turns 90 degrees,  looks at the unsuspecting victim, if he decides he doesn’t like her he carries his walk on before turning another 90 degrees to start walking past her in the other direction, before turning another 90 degrees and another 90 degrees to return to the original direction in which he was walking. This way, he hasn’t had to waste any energy opening a girl who isn’t worth a squirt. Now when I say 90 degrees, it’s more like 90 degrees with chamfered edges so that it’s a smooth walk around the girl. This he proclaimed, was called the Ricky Swing. That was his thing.

I said to him, ‘wow, you actually have a thing?’

‘I’ve actually got two things, that, and when I see a hot girl I say to my wing “well, will you look at that piece of shit?!”‘

Two things. This guy has two things. I’ve been in this game for more than two years now and I don’t have a thing.

Doing actual Daygame, getting numbers, getting dates and adventure sexing doesn’t matter a fuck unless you have, a thing. It started to dominate my thinking. I actually couldn’t sleep most of last night as I lay in bed thinking to myself, ‘what’s my thing?’

As I lay there I started to think about the things our illustrious Daygame pioneers had invented.

Starting with the ground breaking Yad stop. This is where you run, from behind, turn around and stop the girl from the front. It is similar to the Ricky Swing, except you stop if you like the girl. It’s also exactly the same as similar to Torero’s wheel of fortune.

I also thought about Torero’s Maradona Move. This is where you shake a girls hand, not make the English cry.

Torero also has the Torero Toe which is also exactly the same as similar to the what I first saw Nick Krauser do in Daygame Overkill.

Anyway, these are all examples of things. The point is, I need to give something back to the daygame community like all my peers who have invented (or rebranded/stole)  things of their own.

Then the eureka moment came to me, like Einstein must have felt when he cracked the theory of relativity. I got so excited that I started writing this blog post immediately.

Without further ado, I’d like to introduce to you my esteemed readers……

The Walker Walk ©.

I’ll try to explain this in Lay mans terms;

  1. Stand erect and upright (you, not your penis)
  2. Use your calves, hamstrings, and quadriceps to place one foot in front of the other.I normally put my right foot first, I move it forward through the air for about half a metre. I place the right foot on the ground and I lift my now trailing left foot, lift it forwards through the air for about 0.8m and land it safely on the ground. Rinse and repeat with the right, then left, then right, then left.
  3. Keep your shoulders pulled back, but relaxed
  4. Swing your arms as you walk, think Vince McMahon walking into the WWE arena
  5. Start out at a reduced warm-up pace, once you’re in state you can speed up or slow down as you wish

Well done, pat yourself on the back, you’ve just done the Walker Walk ©

Please try the Walker Walk © when you are next out daygaming, I invented it specifically for this purpose. It is absolutely free and can also be used at various stages of the model e.g.

  • Getting to your next date
  • Bouncing between venues
  • Taking her to the bedroom
  • Showing her to your front door after sex, on the same night, obviously

An added bonus of the Walker Walk © is that you can also use it in every day situations such as getting to and from work, going to the shops or getting to a whore house if you are going through a period of daygame revulsion.

Unlike Krauser, I genuinely care about my readers, so please, before you try the Walker Walk © keep these pointers in mind;

  1. Watch out for dog shit – girls don’t like the smell of this
  2. Wear comfortable daygame boots – trainers are gay
  3. Do NOT re-route your Walker Walk ©  for anyone coming towards you, even old ladies. Girls like this, it makes you look like you own the street.
  4. Only Walker Walk © at a pace that suits the length of your legs, it makes no sense to tire yourself out too quickly, this will vastly reduce your pussy slaying capabilities.

Try the Walker Walk © on a street near you today, it’s free!

 

 

“Enjoy the Process!”

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Obligatory hot girl picture.
Daygame is shit right now for me. They say you should “enjoy the process, man!”. Well, I call bull shit.

I don’t enjoy getting blown out 5 times in a row, getting numbers and them flaking, going on dates where the girl is knowingly tooling you, getting fucking cold sores from my herpes riddled regular. These things aren’t fun and if you enjoy them, then you’re probably not right in the head.

However, the optimist in me tells myself, it will get better, man. Keep plugging away, keep ‘er lit and your skill set will improve and you will ultimately slay more pussy.

We are at the end of February and I have endured another month of daygame misery, nothing is getting better yet…

Sets Number FB Flake idate Date Near Misses Lays
67 11.94% 4.48% 36.36% 0.00% 1.49% 0.00% 0.00%
Sets/session: 3.94 8 3 4 0 3 1 0

The month got off to a good-ish start, I had 3 dates in the first few days. I took out a nice Asian girl (rare for me), got kissing on the date, walked her back to my flat and she refused to come in at the front door. Fuck. I still haven’t seen her again, but we are still texting so it’s not a dead lead.

I went on a date with a hot Russian girl. This was a set I did at the beginning of January. It was a great set, and I remember thinking to myself at the time, “surely that won’t flake”. She flaked. Then pinged me out of the blue at the beginning of February saying “hi Roy )”. Got to love girl game.

I got her out and we were about half an hour into our date, she was half way down her glass of champagne, I was nearly finished my pint of beer (I drink fast). I asked her why it took her a month to respond, about 30 seconds later she stood up and said she really had to go. She has since gone back to radio silence over text.

I took out a very tall Hungarian girl. It was a strange date, she was happy to discuss sexual topics and I kissed her a few times. It was getting slightly late and I had work the next day so I suggested we have one more drink at mine. She agreed, got up to go to the bathroom before we left and when she returned from the bathroom said that she’d rather go straight home and would not be coming back to mine. Fuck. I tried to get her out again and she told me she wasn’t interested. Fair enough.

I had a few very fizzy sets throughout the month that sizzled with sexual tension, one in particular stands out in the memory. She was a short little English girl with red hair and massive tits that were bursting out of her top, she practically said “fuck me now” with her eyes as I laid on the patter. I was with RickyRoma at the time so I took her number and let her go. He said to me, “why didn’t you idate her, she was floppy as fuck!”. I didn’t and still don’t have a good answer.

So I got slightly closer to fresh pussy, but it is still just out of grasp. I went out 17 times in February and have thrown in the towel with a couple of days to go. I got 11 contact details from 67 sets. About half of those flaked straight away, the other half have responded and since dropped off or are in the process of dropping off.

Daygame doubt is beginning to creep in and I am beginning to question everything, “does this shit work any more?”, “am i getting worse?”, “Do i actually need to take a break like everyone keeps telling me?”.

I’m starting to change things up a bit due to this doubt. One cringeworthy change up I implemented was when I audio pinged a lead with a cheesy date request. The clip lasted 45 seconds of to me playing guitar and proposing a date. She didn’t respond. Maybe I shouldn’t change things up.

Luckily, or unluckily for me, i’m not sure which, I’m a stubborn bastard. I will not become part of the 90% that throw in the towel. I’ve already tasted the success that this past time serves up and it’s quite tasty, like a salmon rose, with extra caviar on top . I remember the good times, they were only a couple of months ago. Without these good reference experiences I’m not sure I would be so stubborn. I can understand why there is such a high drop out rate at this Daygame thing. We need to manage our vibe carefully, one way to do this is to have things to look forward too.

I have a euro-jaunt fast approaching, in 44 days to be precise, not that I’m counting. I cannot wait for this, however, I am conscious that I could burn myself out before I step foot on the plane so I will continue to take mini-breaks of 2-3 days from daygame until then.

I am not expecting to discover any pussy paradises, the places I am going have seen plenty of daygamers. I am expecting it to be tough, to get blown out, go on dates to nowhere and to encounter some LMR. However, the weather will be nicer, the cigarettes and alcohol will be cheaper and I’ll be on holiday, so it will be that bit easier to “enjoy the process” 🙂