Lay Report: A white knight fails to save the day

Not far off actually.

My time in Moscow has reached it’s conclusion, I’ve only done a handful of sets in the last week [1] and have no active leads left and I leave in the morning. But after 4 weeks of burning the candle at both ends, I’m ready to leave. My liver has taken an absolute pounding, and although I’ve had a great time, if I carried on like this, I know I’d end up with full on diabetes. I’m looking forward to getting back to London to dry out and lose the puppy fat that I’ve piled on from the millions of beers drunk. Below is a story about my 90th daygame lay, only 10 to go boys…

Saturday 3 October 2020

Last Saturday at around 6pm I was walking up Kamergirsky on my lonesome as both Nick and Seven were on dates, it was a first for me, usually I was the one that went on the dates. I did, however, have a date locked in for 8pm with an Azseri Instagram whore [2]. I hadn’t done a single set that day and I was contemplating just going home and chilling out before my date. Then a silhouette of a short, slim, girl walked towards me. I locked her in my sights as she got closer and she was very cute indeed. Long brunette hair, a young face, perhaps even too young. Vicky wore an open puffy jacket over a low-cut top displaying a fantastic cleavage, and tight denim jeans and trainers.

I held my gaze as she approached, and at the last second, she darted her eyes in my direction. “GOTCHA! That’s and IOI” I said to myself. I let her pass me by so that I could see what she looked like from behind, she had a fantastic hip-to-waist ratio and I admired how it was swaying from side to side. In I went.

Vicky confirmed the IOI with a huge beaming smile as soon as I stood in front of her. The hook was instant. I found out she was from some place outside of Moscow, was 24 and was working in Moscow. She was just out “walking”, so I suggested we grab a coffee and walk together. She agreed.

Vicky’s English wasn’t great, but it was better than my Russian and I told her so. I told her “I’ll come back next year, and we will test each other, whoever can speak the others language better gets a prize”. “Deal!” said an excited Vicky. She was a very happy-go-lucky, bubbly girl.

We started walking again, as we walked, I suggested we go for a beer at the Irish pub. She said “oh, yes, I was hoping you would say that, I fancied some drinks this evening but I have no company” RING, RING, RING went the SDL alarm bells in my head.

We got to the pub and sat at the bar in the same seats I had sat with 4 different girls in the previous few days. The bar man immediately asked her for ID, she did look very young to be fair. After a few minutes I excused myself to go to the toilet, it was now 7pm, I pinged insta whore and told her that I had to cancel. I was going for the SDL.

When I re-joined Vicky, she started quizzing me on how many girls I had brought to this bar. I dodged the question… “I don’t recall, I normally come here with my mates”.

There was a local game of football on the telly above our heads and the Russian commentary was blaring in our ears which made it difficult to hear each other, so after 1 drink I suggested we go to another place. Vicky agreed.

When we left the bar, she packed up laughing “Oh my that bar man was so strange”

Почему?” Said me in my best Russian (why).

“When you were in the bathroom he told me that I should be very careful with you, he also told me that he’s seen you there with 4 different girls in the last few days, you are not a good guy” Said Vicky.

“WHAT?!” I was turning back to go to the bar to confront him [3] and she pulled me back by the hand.

“No, Roy, just leave it, he’s only trying to protect me.”

“And what do you think, do you need to be protected from me?”

“No, I know what I’m doing” said Vicky.

I didn’t confirm or deny the allegations, Vicky knew what she was getting herself into, we didn’t mention the incident for the rest of the evening. I took her to another Irish bar that was on the route back to the flat. We got a little booth and sat beside each other. I went a bit deeper on the comfort, finding out about her family (yes there were daddy issues), love life and her hopes and dreams. All the usual fluff. She rebuffed my first kiss attempt, but at the second she kissed me very hard.

After this we started speaking about sex, she told me her favourite position and that she needs to feel a deep connection before sex. I wondered whether I had gotten deep enough yet. A couple of drinks later I suggested we go for a walk, it was around 10pm now. I walked her straight to my flat and she refused to come in, we went for another drink at a bar close to mine, I attempted to bounce her back again, and was again rebuffed. We went for a coffee in shop right beside the flat, I went for the bounce a third time and again was rebuffed. I threw the towel in at around 1.30am, almost 8 hours after I opened her.

Sunday 4 October 2020

We texted quite a bit the following day and I invited her to join me at the pub I was planning to watch the United game in, it would finish at 8.30pm, so I invited her to join me at 8pm. I watched United get thumped 6-1 by Spurs with Nick and Seven, Vicky didn’t turn up until around 9:30pm. She was very touchy feely when she arrived. Seven text me afterwards “Man! She really likes you”. I have still to figure out the reason for this, cos I’m an ‘orrible bastard, and she knew it.

Seven left us alone shortly afterwards and Vicky and I just chatted for an hour, I didn’t attempt to escalate or to get her back to the flat. I said my goodbyes to her at around 11pm. The texting increased significantly after this date, she told me later that evening that I was much nicer this time around and that she liked me more this way. “Perhaps PULL, PULL, PULL is not always the best strategy”, I told myself.

Wednesday 7 October 2020

I had a date on Monday and a Russian class on Tuesday evening, the earliest I could get Vicky out again would be Wednesday. We text throughout the day, my plan was to take her to a cocktail bar near my flat and then bounce straight home. As you can see, Vicky was getting quite sexual over text and was trying to escalate it further. I was careful not to warm her up too much, I’ve been burned for getting too sexual before I’ve banged the girl in the past. This one was in the bag, I just had to get her in front of me.

Vicky eventually turned up to the cocktail bar at around 10pm. She looked stunning in black high heels and a tight black dress, she wasn’t wearing a bra, and her tits were literally falling out of the dress. We sat beside each other on a couch and had a cocktail, Vicky barely touched hers.

“Where will you take me, honey” asked Vicky.

“I live just across the road, let’s go back there”

“Oh no, but your friend is still home, right?”

“Probably, I haven’t asked him, but don’t worry, it’s a huge apartment, you won’t even see him” I reasoned.

“Can’t we go somewhere else?” Asked Vicky whilst giving me puppy dog eyes.

“Ooooh K, let’s get a hotel”

I looked on google maps, the closest hotel was the Marriot, a 5-star hotel. Surprisingly, it was only £100 for a big room with breakfast included. I booked it on my phone, and we walked the 5 minutes down the road.

Upon check-in there was no LMR, Vicky was gagging for it. We banged all night and morning; she was amazing at blowjobs and really enjoyed a good deep throat. We had breakfast together the next morning at 9am, I must have got around 2 hours sleep. She jumped in a cab home and I walked across the road to my flat to begin the day’s work, I was not very productive that day.

I’ve seen Vicky a couple of times since the night at the Marriot. I like her, and she’s a candidate for the wife list. She’s hot (not a stunner, but a solid to high 7), 24, smart, funny and can hold her own in a conversation. However, she can be princessy if she doesn’t get her own way, I’ve fallen out with her a couple of times already. I think she is subconsciously shit-testing me, Russian girls can be like this, to see what they can get away with. I’ll keep in touch with her and will probably even see her again next year.

[1] I will do a full review on my time in Moscow, compared to last year.

[2] I went on two dates with her, spending quite a bit of dough in the process. I tried to bounce her to mine at the end of both. At the end of the second date she agreed to come straight to mine the next night for “wine”. I had to cancel the next night, then she blocked me.

[3] I confronted him a few days later, he admitted to it, but doesn’t apologise. “Thanks for looking after my girl, mate” I said in a sarcastic tone. “you’re welcome” said a sheepish bar man.

Lay Report: A Racist Model

I couldn’t find a picture of a crazy enough looking girl.

There’s quite a bit to get through since my last lay report. I intended to write a post reviewing Warsaw, and another on my brief time back in London. But I never got around to that. In brief, Warsaw was great, (I finished up with an open to lay ratio of 1 in 24 the full stats are here [1]), I banged a few birds, met a few sound lads, a girl I really liked and didn’t bang (I turned down the opportunity on my last night) and generally had a blast. The return to London was bleak, I did 12 sets in just under two weeks and nearly banged a hot Turkish girl the night before I left, hopefully I’ll see her when I get back. The daygame in London was terrible in contrast to Warsaw and now especially compared to Moscow.

I’ve been here just under two weeks now and it’s going pretty well. On Saturday night I got my third notch of the trip. The first was a cute little mousey girl I pulled from a bar on my first night out. The second was a girl in her late twenties on the second date [2], and the third is the main subject of this post. In stark contrast to the previous girl, there is plenty to write about this one…

It was a warm Friday afternoon and I was patrolling Kamergirsky with Nick and a stinking hangover from the previous night’s exertions. I’d almost SDL’d a cute little brunette only for it to all fizzle out when I got her back to a flat with no bounce back booze – schoolboy error. Hopefully, I will finish that story another day. My intent was incredibly low all day. This girl ended up being my only set of the day consequently. She was wearing high heels, a grey mini-skirt, and a green leather jacket. She had long dirty blonde hair with a big fringe. I’d actually saw her earlier in the day and weaselled it when she walked into a shop. Then as we were walking down the hill Nick pointed her out “there’s that slapper again”. She did look a bit slapperish, but I will not turn down any slappers between now and the big 100.

I shuffled along with all the enthusiasm I could muster, got in front and she stopped dead in her tracks. I got through all the usual pre-amble and found out that Lucy was Ukrainian, was a “model”, and had been living in Moscow for a few years. She was about the same height as me, had big fake lips, crazy eyes with red dots in the middle of them and a very strange demeanour. Lucy told me she had just returned from a shoot in Thailand…

“Oh, so where is your suntan?” I enquired.

“I don’t like tan, I don’t like brown skin, I’m a little bit racist” Said Lucy.

“I admire your honesty… so are you wearing contacts? You have red eyes” Said me.

“No, it’s my sickness” Said Lucy.

“oh, uhm, ok” I didn’t press the matter.

I tried to idate her, but Lucy told me she was going for some food with a friend, so I told her I’d take her for a drink when she was finished. She seemed keen, but only gave me her Instagram. She only had 16 followers and followed 1 person. I enquired why and she told me that she had to set up a new account as the last one got too much for her. Again, I didn’t press the matter.

I pinged her later that evening and she didn’t respond til around 2am when I was already on my way home. We set up a date for 7pm the next day. Saturday.

I pinged her during the day and she didn’t respond and hadn’t been online all day. Fuck. I went to the meeting point just in case (it was right outside my apartment), but she didn’t show. At 7.30 she messaged saying she was feeling lazy and that it was far to come. What a bitch! I said “thanks for letting me know” and went out to daygame thinking that it was dead.

Then when I was ordering a coffee, she video called me. I answered. Lucy started quizzing me more on why I had come to Moscow and told me that I was very brave to approach her like that. Russian men didn’t do that. It was back on. Lucy told me she wanted to come, but she didn’t want to get the metro, I told her to get a cab. She then implied that I should get her a cab. I asked where she lived so that I could check how much it would cost (so low value!!). Then she told me she would get her own cab, she just wanted to see how I would respond. Strange girl.

Hours later I hadn’t heard from her, so I joined Nick for a pint and basically gave up on the date, Lucy didn’t arrive in the centre until almost 10pm and went straight to an expensive restaurant and asked me to come meet her there. I sent her the location of the bar I was in with the following caption “Lucy, you have messed me around all evening, if you want to see me, come here”. Eventually (after getting lost a few times) she found me at around 10.30pm.

I introduced her to Nick before taking her inside, we sat on stools at the bar and Lucy wasted no time in getting down to the nitty gritty.

“I’m sorry I’m so late, I live very far, and the traffic was very bad and I get lost very easily”

“Well that’s quite obvious”

“Ok, about me. I’m 19, I’m a Victoria’s secret model [3], I’ve had 10 plastic surgeries, I don’t like brown people, I love taking drugs and I love to travel”

“There’s quite a lot to unpack there” Said me.

Lucy was a very strange girl indeed. I asked her to show me some of her modelling pictures, but she didn’t have any as she just got a new phone. To say I was suspicious would be an understatement.

“OK, so what operations have you had done?”

“My lips, my boobs, my nose, my cheekbones, my hair and I’ve had lipo-suction several times”

“All this by the ripe old age of 19?!”

“Yes, I’ve been modelling since I was 13, this is my job, so I want to look the best”

“But why lipo-suction? what’s wrong with diet and exercise?”

“It’s too slow!!”

“OK, and why do you dislike brown people so much?”

“They’re stupid and ugly, I hate them!”

“Ooooo K”

I told Lucy about my time in Africa and how I was particularly good friends with a lot of intelligent and attractive “brown people”. She told me that I was crazy. YES. ME. THE CRAZY ONE.

We finished the drink and I told Lucy that we should go to another place. She agreed. We walked down the stairs and Nick was still there and had been joined by Seven. I introduced Lucy to Seven and she just stared at him not saying anything. I said my goodbyes to the boys and walked her to the metro, Lucy complained “I can’t believe you’re taking me on the metro! I’ve never been on the metro”

“Wait haven’t you lived here for years?”

“Yes, but the metro is for peasants!”

“Well, I am a peasant”

“I don’t like your Asian friend, he’s brown and has no eyes” announced Lucy.

“He’s actually French”


Smoke started to come out of Lucy’s ears as her brain strained to comprehend what I had just said.

“Yes, and he’s one of the smartest people I know, and the ladies quite like him”

“That’s crazy!!”

I took Lucy to a couple of cocktail bars near my apartment before taking her home and banging her. There was no LMR, it was easy.

I took her for breakfast the next morning and she gave me some advice.

“Roy, please be careful in the future and watch out for brown people, they are evil”

“Thanks for the advice, you do recall that I’m old enough to be your dad, right?”

“haha yes, but just be careful, you are a nice guy and I feel like I am missing you already”.

Lucy would fly out to Greece the next day for a “shoot” and wouldn’t return to Moscow until after I will have left. I still don’t believe she’s a Victorias secret model, what’s more likely is that she is some sort of cam girl or lifestyle whore.


SetsNumberFB/InstaFlakeDate FlakeidateD1D2D3D4Near MissSDLLaysApproach to lay count.. 1 in…

[2] I may write a proper post on her, but not much happened of note. She is now really clingy over text and I’ve had to ghost her.

[3] I have checked online and can’t find her anywhere

Lay Report: Another Polish Girl

That’ll do

They’re like buses, Polish girls. None for ages, then two come along in quick succession…

It was a Tuesday evening; I’d just finished work and I was walking from Nowy Swiat up Chmielna to meet a bed bugs ridden Nick Krauser. I’d barely been doing any sets, 1 or 2 a day max for the previous week. There just wasn’t much about. But as I approached the zebra crossing halfway up Chmielna, I spotted a little minx with dirty blond hair, librarian glasses and a blue figure-hugging dress.

There was no IOI, I don’t get many in this town. I let her pass me by to check out her back side, the hip to waist ratio was to my liking so I couldn’t pass up the opportunity. I got in front and she exploded with nervous energy upon delivery of my opener.

“This look you’ve got going on, the dress really suits you, but converse, really?” Said me.

“hahaha, it’s my favourite dress and I love my converse” Explained Paula.

She couldn’t stand still, she was all over the place, I couldn’t tell if she was trying to get away or just overcome with nerves.

“Are you in a hurry to leave or something? You can’t stand still!” – Say what you see TM

“No, I was just on my way to get some bubble tea, I loooooooove bubble tea” said Paula.

She looked young, and I was concerned that she might be underage – the typical clientele I normally see entering bubble tea establishments are schoolies and Asians.

“So, what do you do here in Warsaw?” I asked to calm her down.

“I’m working”

“Oh, you’re not a student?”

“No, I work full time, what about you, what are you doing here?”

I told her my story and that I was heading off to meet a friend, but that we should get a drink later. I went for the number, but she only offered her Instagram. Off I went thinking that it was probably another flake, I’d had many sets like this up to this point.

I pinged her that evening and was surprised when she responded very quickly. I had a live lead.

The next day I invited her out and she said that she was working late, but offered to meet me on Thursday instead, she would finish work at 9pm and then she would have 2 weeks’ vacation so she would have lots of free time. She text during the day on Thursday asking if we could meet at 11pm. On a normal jaunt I wouldn’t bat an eye lid at this suggestion, if a girl wants to meet late at night, it usually means sex. But I had work in the morning. Of course, I decided that my career was way less important than banging YHT, so I agreed.

Paula turned up in a white baggy t-shirt, white dungarees, and her converse…

“Where’s the dress?!” Said an unimpressed me.

Paula tried to grab the frame right away, “It’s dirty, let’s go for a walk to the river”

“Nah, it’s too far, let’s go for a little walk, then I’ll take you for a drink” I reasoned.

We walked to the end of Nowy Swiat and back, and then I dragged her to a table at Cava as we passed it… “come on, this place is nice”.

I found out that Paula was 21, I told her I was 32 [1]. I was the oldest guy she’d ever been on a date with. We spoke about astrology, family, hobbies, all the usual comfort fluff. Paula had a habit of disagreeing with almost everything I said, despite her having no idea what she was talking about.

“When I lived in South Africa, I used to kite surf in the ocean which was infested with great white sharks – I couldn’t even swim” Said me, which was a true story I often tell girls to display how stupid brave I am.

“Yeah, but sharks don’t eat people, so you weren’t in any danger” said Paula.

“Oh, you’ve BEEN there, have you?”

“No, I read about it somewhere”

“WELL, I was called off the water several times by lifeguards after someone had been bitten. Sharks will eat anything if they’re hungry” Said me – this is also true.

I had to put her in her place several times like this before she started behaving. After this I took her to a whiskey bar, and we sat beside each other on a couch upstairs.

We played the questions game; I’ve started reintroducing this lately as I’ve been over-confident and winging it far too much on dates. I found out that Paula had 6 previous sexual partners, she never had a relationship longer than 3 months, she didn’t have a lot of friends, she hadn’t seen her dad since she was 6 years old. Everything she told me screamed “I WILL FUCK YOU, JUST DON’T FUCK IT UP”.

It was pushing 2am now and I had to be up for work in the morning. However, one of the best things about working remotely in a time zone that is an hour ahead of the UK, is that you get an extra hour in bed. I only really had to switch my laptop on at 10am, and then make myself look presentable for my first video conference at 11am.

I settled the bill and walked Paula in the direction of my apartment – she wouldn’t come in.

“Let’s go to the river” said Paula.

“No, it’s late and I have work in the morning. I’ll take you to the river next time. Just come in for a little while”

She stood there saying nothing, so I took her hand and led the way. She knew what was about to happen. Paula took her shoes off upon entry to the flat without being asked, I thought “YES, this is going to be easy”. It wasn’t. An hour went by where she refused any escalation further than kissing.

At around 3am, I gave up and told her I was going to bed and that she was welcome to stay over. I stripped down to my underwear and to my surprise she did the same. She was hiding a cracking little figure underneath the dungarees. She sported a surprisingly large pair boobs for a slim girl, a tiny waist and a there was plenty of meat on her bum cheeks. Within moments I was fingering her, and she was wanking me off. All pre-tense had been dropped.

I slapped a condom on and proceeded to bang her for two hours straight. The combination of the Cialis [2] that I had popped just before the date and her cracking little body kept me going. Paula came three times, including when she squirted all over the kitchen floor when I was banging her over the counter. She was a horny little minx. I didn’t cum and Paula was not impressed by this, so she insisted on trying to make it happen for another couple of hours. It did not. I collapsed in a heap at around 7am and awoke at 9am for the day’s work. It wasn’t my most productive day at “the office”.

Paula is a genuinely nice, hot young girl who is 15 years my junior. I’ve since met her again and I did indeed take her to the river. I’m even planning a little trip up to the coast with her this coming weekend. But that will probably be the last time I see her, I don’t see anything long term in it, this was a lay of lust, like almost all the rest of the girls I’ve banged down the years.

[1] I told her my real age when I met her again a few days later. She started crying and couldn’t believe I’d been so dishonest with her.

[2] This is both a blessing and a curse, as she now expects these performance levels every time, and I quite frankly am very lazy when it comes to banging a vagina more than once.

Lay Report: SDL in Poland

She was actually very similar to this, just a bit shorter.

I have been in Warsaw for a month now [1] taking advantage of the ability to work remotely. While it ain’t exactly pussy paradise, it is a lot better than London was a month ago [2]. The streets are bustling, the girls are pretty, the weather is nice, and the food and beer are cheap.

Over the past month I have done 60 sets, closing 25 of them, dating 8 and banging 1 (2 including this one). All the rest either flaked straight away or on the date request. One pattern that I noticed, was that I was not having ANY luck with the Polish women. They’d reply most of the time but getting them out was harder than my penis after a few days on Cialis [3]. It was becoming evident that the only way I was going to bang one of em’ was to negate the texting part, so that’s what I did…

It was around 4pm on another sunny Sunday afternoon, and I was sitting having another alcoholic beverage, beer this time, on Nowy Swiat with Nick and some of the resident gamers. I’d done one set so far that day and I wasn’t feeling very motivated to approach, I was happy with my lot, life was good. Most of the guys had got up to leave and just Mr M and I remained. He was telling me that he was going home soon, so with this in mind I was getting mentally prepared to hit the streets.

I spotted a short bronze looking girl with long brown hair down past her bum, a tight black boob tube and denim short shorts walking extremely fast on the other side of the road, she looked like a little Tasmanian devil…

“Look at that wee slapper racing down the street” said me.

“She looks nice, go for it mate, I’m gonna head off now anyway” said Mr M.

I needed no further encouragement, up I got and made chase.

I got in front of her directly outside the Ukrainian wine bar (the same place where the Belarusian opened me in the previous report). I can’t quite remember what I said, it was probably something about her not looking typically Polish with her ridiculously tanned skin and the hair down past her bum. I could see that she was getting nervous as quite a few heads that were drinking in the wine bar turned in our direction. I asked her where she was running to, just towards the Old town, said her. It turned out that she wasn’t in a hurry, she was just a really, really fast walker. I walked with her, shock, horror! Not because I’m a chode, but because I could see the spotlight effect was spoiling the set for her.

As we walked and talked, I found out that she was on the last few days of her Summer vacation and was looking to have some “fun”. DING, DING-A-LING went the SDL bells in my head.

Marina had a great vibe about her, she was an infectious little ball of energy. She was about 5’4” and was into her sports. She had a thicker frame than I’d usually go for, but there wasn’t much fat on her, she was short and toned, but there was something very sexy about her. I decided quite early on that I definitely wanted to bang her.

We walked to the Old town and I told her “It would be sacrilege to meet an Irish man and not go to an Irish bar with him.” She agreed, so we went upstairs to the Irish bar and drank some Guinness.

After this I walked us back in the direction of the Ukrainian bar, which also happened to be a lot closer to my flat. We stood outside with our drinks and I realised out of the corner of my eye, that the Belarusian was at the table behind us with another guy and was looking directly in our direction. “What a little whore!” thought me, before realising that she was probably having similar thoughts about me. I was sure that she was going to confront me and ruin the set, she was a loose cannon. But she didn’t. I saw her walking off arm in arm with the guy a few minutes later. Phew!

Not much else exciting happened after this, I took Marina to a whiskey bar to escalate on a couch and she was kissing me quickly. Soon after this I bounced her to the flat and after lots of indecisiveness on her part, I finally banged her at around 3am.

I walked her to the train station the next morning so that I could get back and start working. I didn’t expect to hear from her again, but a few hours later I got some very distressed messages from her, she was certain that she was pregnant. I reminded her that I used THREE condoms and never put my bare little penis in her vagina once. But she still wasn’t convinced. Long story short, I had to send her some money so that she could go and get the morning after pill. What a palaver, and with that she ruined any slim chance of me contacting her again.

[1] Except for 3 days when I had to go back to London for work.

[2] Although I have heard reports that it’s getting better. I mean, even me old mate Xants got laid from a recent daygame set!

[3] I have actually started taking Cialis, and I have been walking around with boners ALL day.

Lay Report: A Crazy Belarusian

Imagine this, and then imagine nothing like this.

I recently tweeted about my first lay in what felt like a million years and it got a bit of attention from the Twitteratzi. Apparently one lay from 35 sets is awful, in fact I shouldn’t even be cold approaching, that’s for losers. Well what I did not mention in that tweet is that this girl OPENED ME and all I had to do was hang in there…

Last weekend I was out with Mr R. It was a sunny Sunday afternoon and I didn’t have a care in the world despite being in Warsaw for over a week and not having a sniff of anything. We were stood outside a bar on Nowy Swiat at around 6pm having a well-deserved glass of wine after a long day of walking around barely doing any sets. I was feeling rough as a badger’s backside having partied until 6am with a resident crazy Irishman and a quagmire of Polish stragglers that we picked up along the way. But as soon as the sweet alcoholic tannins caressed my oesophagus, my vibe began to improve. I can’t quite remember what we were discussing, but it was something along the lines of;

“Aaaah, that’s better” said me as I gulped down the first delicious sip of wine, already thinking about buying another round.

“I’m telling you, life is actually really hard here” said Mr R.

Then out of nowhere a short little dirty blonde-haired girl appeared and asked if she could use my lighter, before proceeding to pick it up and light her cigarette WITHOUT waiting for my permission. “What a cheeky little so and so”, thought me.

I sized her up – she was slim, but well proportioned, she wore a green silk dress and was covered in tattoos. She had quite a few piercings and annoyingly had one of those septum things on her snout. I examined her face, it was young, she looked about 18 (she turned out to be 23), not the prettiest, but there was something about her. I looked her dead in the eyes, I’d seen those eyes before. Unfocused, darting about all over the place without displaying any real emotion. That was it, this girl was BAT SHIT CRAZY. Time to fire up the old engines…

“How dare you, young lady! Did your mother not learn you manners?!” Said me.

I don’t remember much of the conversation after this, but I found out her name was Alina, she was from Belarus and had been living in Poland for a few years. I got her number and I pinged her an hour or so later, she was quick on the replies. We agreed to meet later that evening, she would text me when she was free.

Rather than wait around like a chode, I decided to meet up with a couple of Danish brothers for a beer on Nowy Swiat. Eventually Alina joined us at around 9pm. We all had a drink together and she was very chatty to the other two as I took a back seat in the conversation – the night before was starting to catch up with me. One of the Danes (who was also a daygamer) picked up on this and didn’t want to tread on my toes, so he excused himself and his brother. Good lad.

Alina and I finished our drinks and we went for a walk. I walked her in the direction of my apartment and when we got to the front door, she refused to come in. We walked a bit more and Alina announced that she was going to meet some friends to party, we should meet another time. This was music to my ears as I felt I could collapse from exhaustion at any moment.

We went for drinks the next evening to a posh wine/coffee bar and then to a shisha bar. It became obvious why this girl was crazy as she explained some of her issues to me, and yes, some of them were of the daddy variety. She was a strange cocktail of a self-obsessed, know-it-all type of girl, but at the same time she was trying to please everyone else. Both the previous evening and this one she had made plans to meet friends for birthday parties straight after. I recall telling her that she didn’t have to go to every social event she was invited to – “these people got me through some very dark times, I owe them this” said Alina. I didn’t press the matter, because she didn’t seem the type to take advice, she really thought she knew it all. I got her back to the flat that evening, we kissed and fooled around on the bed. “I don’t have sex this quickly, I only met you yesterday”. Soon after this she left and I wasn’t too bothered as it was now getting very late and I had to be up for work in the morning.

Alina messaged the next day asking if I was free at 10pm. I already had a date lined up with a Turkish girl I idated the day before. I told her I’d let her know. My date with the Turk was going well, but not so well that I was going to get laid that night. At around 9.30pm I asked the Turk when she had to be home, she told me she was having fun and wanted to stay out until 11pm. FUCK.

At 10pm Alina called me, my phone was on the table in full view of the Turk and I’m sure she saw “ALINA” in huge letters on the screen. I quickly turned the phone face down; the Turk smiled and didn’t say anything. When she got up to go to the toilet I text Alina telling her I wasn’t going to make it. She replied quickly, saying that she had travelled to the centre in the rain (a huge storm had just hit) to see me. I didn’t respond.

I stayed with the Turk until the storm passed and I got a peck on the lips for my efforts at the end. She is still a live lead and will probably take a few dates, but she’s hot and doesn’t seem broken, so hopefully it will be worth it.

I pinged Alina the next day asking if she was free that evening (it’s now Wednesday). She said she would let me know later. I hate that response, I felt like replying with “just give me a yes or a no, BITCH!”. Then I remembered I had sent her the exact same response the previous day. I replied “ok”.

After lots of pissing about over text, we agreed to meet at 9pm. She had already told me that she was only free until 11pm as she’d agreed to go to yet another party afterwards. Alina eventually turned up in a nice lacy black dress and black boots. She gave me a huge hug without apologising for being late. I scolded her, “Nice of you to let me know you’re running late”.

“Sorry, my life is such a mess right now, you don’t even want to know”. Said Alina.

She was correct.

I walked us straight to my apartment which was about 50m from the meeting point and she didn’t raise any objections, we both knew that this was “the sex date”.

We got inside, took our shoes off, I poured drinks and we stood on the balcony smoking cigarettes. Every time I went to escalate further than kissing she would pull away. Perhaps it wasn’t going to be as easy as I thought. Alina sat on my lap at my work desk and we watched youtube videos for half an hour or so before she excused herself to go to the toilet.

It was now pushing 10:30 and she was planning on leaving at 11. I lay fully dressed on the bed, pondering which move to make next. Then Alina came out of the bathroom WITHOUT her dress on. She was wearing a lacy black bra and underwear and all of her tattoos were now in full view. She walked over to me, got on top and started kissing me whilst biting my lip hard. I pushed her back and removed her bra, I was pleasantly surprised to see that her breasts looked bigger without the bra on. I’d say they were a large B cup, and very perky. After a few minutes of dry humping, I pushed her off me, pulled off my jeans and boxers in one fell swoop and pushed her head down.

Alina gave me one of the best blowjobs I’ve had in a long time (well, I haven’t had ANY in a long time) and she had a strange fascination with sucking my nut sack, I wasn’t sure if I liked it, but I let her carry on for a while. Quite a bit of pre-cum was now dribbling out and I was concerned I was going to blow my load so I pulled her up.

“take off your underwear” said me.

We both got fully naked and messed around a bit before she got up, walked around the bed to her handbag and pulled out a condom.

“Oh, you brought your own?!” Said me.

“I don’t trust men” Said Alina.

“Fair enough”

I lay on my back again whilst she opened the condom, it was one of those scented ones.

Alina slid it on my cock, which was about erupt at any moment, the poor little fucker hadn’t seen this much action in almost 6 months. She jumped straight on and proceeded to gyrate up and down, after about 10 strokes I was about blow. I went to push her off…

“I’m gonna cum VERY soon” said me.

“I don’t mind” said Alina as she carried on riding.

Seconds later I blew my load. It couldn’t have been much more than 30 seconds, 1 minute maximum from the moment she put the condom on, to ejaculation. I didn’t really care, I was happy to finally get my end away. But I was intrigued…

“So, you don’t enjoy sex or what?” asked me.

“It’s not that I don’t enjoy it, I just don’t feel anything because of the anti-depressants” said Alina.

“Oh” said me, in a comforting tone.

“Plus, I felt like you deserved it after making you wait” Said Alina.

“OK”.  She had a fair point.

“And I have to go to this party now, so I didn’t have much time, but maybe next time we can go for longer” Said Alina.


Moments later she got dressed, used the bathroom, and let herself out just before 11pm.

I lay there on the bed reflecting. “This girl opened me, she basically held the frame the whole way through, all I did, was be there. During the dates she did most of the talking, I barely got a word in edgeways. Yes, I escalated when I had to, but the sex happened when I literally laid back and did nothing.  Crazy Belarusians… wait, Belarus!…I don’t think I have that flag, I’d better check my blog [1]”.

I didn’t have it.




[1] Yes, I check my own blog to remember which flags I have. If I were a proper mPUA, this would be a humble brag, having too many flags to remember em’ all. But my alcohol addled brain forgets what happened last week, never mind which flags I picked up 6 years ago.

Lay Report: A Spaniard with a Boyfriend

Imagine this, but squashed… and with braces.

Finally, a new daygame lay. This was my longest “dry spell” in years, but it never felt that way, mainly because I simply haven’t been trying very hard since I returned from Moscow last year. But the hunger is returning as we inch towards Spring. It’s still not quite there given that I’ve only done 25 sets this year and we seem to be getting hit by storm after storm in London, but when the dust settles, I’ll be on the prowl once more. My current plan is to take at least two months off work and go on jaunts in the usual haunts, with maybe one new location thrown in to mix things up a bit. But let’s get back to the task at hand…

Two Fridays ago I arranged a daygame/bargame session with Rasputin. The daygame part never really happened. I’d done one set prior to meeting up with him, it went well, I got a cute Canadian girls’ number and she ended up flaking after replying to the initial feeler.

I met a thirsty Rasputin at Piccadilly Circus at around 8pm and he was keen to go straight to the pub. I didn’t raise any objections, so we walked towards a bar on glasshouse street. We walked and talked and as we got closer to the pub, I spotted a short girl with long black hair looking my way as she walked in the opposite direction. I let her pass to get a look from behind and I was not disappointed, she wore tight denim jeans which showed off a spectacular backside and a tiny waist.

“I have to do that mate; I’ll see you in the pub” I said to Rasputin.

Off I went and as soon as I got in front a huge smile broke out on her face to reveal a glistening metallic grill fixed to her teeth.

I persevered to find out that Maria was from Spain, her English wasn’t great, and she’d recently moved to London to improve it. I asked her where she was off to and she told me she was going home. I told her I was going to the pub with my friend and pointed at it.

“I work there!” Said Maria

I took her number, if Rasputin hadn’t just met up with me, I’d have idated her then and there. Off she went and I didn’t think much of it. When it was my turn to get a round in, I went inside the bar, and there was Maria pulling pints behind the bar. I approached and she waved at me with a huge smile before hitting her colleague on the arm, she also looked at me and smiled. Maria had obviously told her about our street encounter.

“I thought you were going home?” Said a very confused me.

“Que? Home? No, I work!” Said Maria

“Ok, two pints of Punk IPA please”

I re-joined Rasputin outside and told him about the confusing episode, “Spanish girls really are retards” he concluded, I was in no position to disagree.

We went about our night, frequenting the usual spots and opening the odd two set as we got more and more tipsy. At around midnight we went to a clubby bar at the bottom of Carnaby street and carried on opening two-sets and not really getting anywhere. Then I saw Maria again, I waved at her to come over and join us but she was with a big group of people. At the end of the night both Rasputin and I went home empty handed.

The next morning I awoke to a message from Maria asking how my night was. We pinged back and forth and set up a coffee date for later that afternoon before she went to work in the evening. Over coffee I found out that Maria was 23 years old, was studying dentistry in Spain and was only going to be in London for another month and… that she had a boyfriend. “Yes, he is in Spain, but don’t worry about it” said Maria.

I took her advice and never raised the topic again. I did some light escalation over the coffee and she accepted all of it. It seemed on.

I asked Maria why she never came to say hello to me in the clubby bar the previous night. “Every time I came to find you, you were talking to a different girl!” said an unimpressed Maria. “Oh, yeah, sometimes I do that” said me, it was the best I could come up with at the time.

Off she went to work, and over the next few days we arranged to meet 3 or 4 times only for her to cancel shortly before we were due to meet. I couldn’t decide if she was conflicted about meeting because of her boyfriend, or if she was just retarded, either way, it was getting annoying.

On Saturday past we had arranged to meet during the day. I pinged her in the morning to suggest 3pm. She took a few hours to reply before eventually asking if we could meet a bit later. I then suggested 6pm and again she wasn’t replying, I was at the end of my tether.


This seemed to work, and eventually we agreed to meet at 9pm. Of course, she was late, turning up to the meeting point at around 9.45pm. But boy, did she turn up. Maria was dressed in black high heels, tight black leather leggings, a black boob tube and a black furry coat. She could have passed for an 8 if it wasn’t for the grill on her beck, but she looked amazing anyway and I told her so.

The date itself was a breeze, she fell into my frame right away and apologised for being late. When I got her to the first bar I was blabbering away about something and she put her finger on my lips to shush me and kissed me. This girl was horny and all I had to do was not fuck it up.

Soon after this I took her the usual cocktail bar near my apartment. Upon entry the doorman asked Maria for ID and she didn’t have any.

“Hey, why aren’t you asking me for ID?!” said me.

“Cos you don’t look underage, mate” said the bouncer in a very accusatory fashion.

I laughed in his face before turning to Maria “OK, let’s go somewhere else”.

I walked her straight to my apartment and before long the clothes were off, and I was doing her doggy raw dog whilst admiring her spectacular behind.

These are the moments where I remind myself that I still love daygame.

Lay Report: Crème de la crème

It was a wet and dreary Friday evening; Autumn was taking its grip on proceedings and Winter would be here soon enough to freeze all the vagina in the land. I was hungover from a night on the sauce with an old colleague and “worked from home” as a result that day. Mr S got home around 5ish and asked if I fancied going for dinner with him and Xants. My date for the evening had flaked for the third time even after some masterful text game from myself if I don’t say so myself, so I agreed to go along.

After filling our bellies at our favourite noodle-based establishment, we went to a pub called the white horse in Soho for a spot of drinking and fishing. It was the first time the three of us were out together in a few weeks, so we were in good spirits and had a laugh taking the piss out of each other.

Mr S got the first round in whilst Xant’s and I hovered behind him like Jews. I spotted a hot black girl at the other side of the bar ordering a drink. I tapped Xants on the shoulder “oooh I like that there black girl over there”…. “Oh no, Roy’s got that there jungle fever again!” said Xants to Mr S.

She was slim with long straight black hair, big lips and hips, and wore a white coat over a black corset looking thing which made her boobs pop out, I noticed that she was getting a lot of male attention from the rest of the bar. I assumed she was there with friends and didn’t pursue her. The lads and I took our drinks outside to watch the world go by and maybe even do a set if one took our fancy. We chatted away, Mr S was telling us his latest ground-breaking game theories, Xants was complaining about being crippled and I was telling the boys how I’d invented a new form of game – Queue game [1].

I was half-way down my pint when I noticed a black girl walk past us with purpose. “There’s that there girl from the bar” said Xants. I looked her up and down again and felt a bit excitement in my trouser area – I had to open. I sat my pint down on the ledge, turned to the boys – “See you tomorrow boys!” before making chase.

“Excuuuuuuuuse me…. I saw you back there…”

“What?.. Where?!”

“Well, actually I saw you in the bar, but I assumed you were with your friends”

“No, I like to come out alone”

“Oh ok, well I was going to say I thought you looked very pretty”

Suzy was slowly moving away from me as we talked. She wasn’t shy but she was clearly puzzled and looked at me as if to say “what’s going on here?” then sure enough…

“This is crazy, is this really happening, are you really telling me this on the street?”

“Yes… that’s not an English accent you’ve got there”

“No, I’m French” Said Suzy in an African accent.

“Oh, you mean you live in France?” Said an unconvinced me, must be one of these ‘New French’.

“No, I’m French, I was born in France”

“Oh, you don’t sound very French” She didn’t.

“Are you serious?!” Said a clearly offended Suzy.

Turned out Suzy was born in Marseille (the part with lots of ‘New French’), her dad was from Cameroon and her mum was Spanish. She was in London for an internship and had a degree in Fashion. I asked her what she was up to for the evening and she told me that she was just killing time until midnight when she would go to a nightclub with some friends. It was only around 7.30pm. With her guard now fully dropped I asked her if she’d like to get a drink with me, she asked if I was with my friends, I told her not to worry about them, I’d catch up with them later.

Off we went, Suzy was looking for a bar she wanted to go to but didn’t know the name, we walked for a few minutes and she couldn’t find it, so I took her to the John Snow pub instead. It was rammed full of Friday night revellers; I got the drinks in and we squeezed into a little cranny in the corner.

I found out Suzy was 23, had family back in Marseille and had a passion for movies. She loved to travel and had been to quite a few places during her fashion degree – she would go to all the places that have fashion week, she told me the places, but I have since forgotten. She was now in London to do an internship in events management or something like that. We basically had nothing in common, but there was mutual attraction and that’s all we needed.

I asked Suzy if she had ever been to Fitzrovia (my area), she hadn’t. I suggested we go there as we got towards the end of our drinks and she was keen. It took around 10 minutes to walk there and upon arrival she was very impressed with the area…

“ooooh, this is so much nicer than Soho, I will do my shoot here next week”

“You’re a model?”

“Only for fun, my friend is a photographer”

“Aaah, I see”

I took us straight to the underground speakeasy opposite my apartment where I know the owner/barman, Joe. Upon entry I noticed the place had been given a facelift with a new paint job and new furniture.

“Joe! Love what you’ve done with the place!”

“Ah thanks, Roy! Long time no see, who’s the lovely lady?”

We chatted for a few minutes before I chose two cocktails for Suzy and me. Unfortunately, all the good tables were booked so we sat at a high table on stools. It didn’t matter, Suzy was impressed that I knew the barman.

“Why do you know the bar man so well? You must bring a lot of girls here, huh?”

“I’ve been here a few times, yes”

When a girl accuses me of being a player, I never deny it, but I don’t openly admit it either, unless I’m exaggerating the fact.

It wasn’t possible to escalate at this bar, the music was loud, we were right in front of the bar and Joe kept talking to us, so we finished up and I suggested some wine on the rooftop. Suzy agreed. I got some wine at the local shop and as we opened the front door to my building…

“Wait, where are we going?”

“To the rooftop, the rooftop is on top of my apartment.”

“Oh noooo, you didn’t tell me this.”

“Just come up, I’ll get the glasses from my place and we will go to the roof”

“OK, but we’re not going to your apartment”


I did as I said I would, and we drank wine and listened to music on the rooftop. I went for the kiss after around 15 minutes and she rebuffed my attempt. It was now around 10pm and I was considering binning her off and re-joining the boys for a last drink, so I text them to see what they were up to and Mr S was already on his way home. “May as well stick it out then” thought me.

It started to rain so I told Suzy to come down to my apartment to get out of the rain. She agreed. We drank wine in the kitchen for a while and chatted to Mr S when he returned. After he went to bed, I managed to get Suzy into my bedroom. I kissed her properly on the bed, but she wouldn’t let me escalate any further.

“Let’s go for one more drink”

“Most places are closed”

“It’s London, somewhere must be open!”

I knew of plenty of places open, I just didn’t want to go out, but I reluctantly agreed to go for one more. We found a bar behind my apartment that was open til 2am. We had fun playing doubles at table tennis. I paired up with some other girl and Suzy paired up with some good-looking guy who was obviously hitting on her. He kept putting his arm around her waist and laughed at her every time she smacked the ball into lunar orbit – Suzy had the hand eye co-ordination of Stevie Wonder. The girl I paired up with turned and said to me “are you OK with that?”

“Yeah, don’t worry, he has no chance”

“Oh, Ok”

Moments later the girl I’d paired up with ran off to join her friends, Suzy ran around to my side of the table to join me and the guy that was hitting on her gave me a dirty look and walked off in a huff. Opponentless, Suzy and I returned to our drinks and made out quite heavily.

“Can I stay at your place? It will be difficult for me to get home now”

“OK, as long as you promise not to take advantage of me”

“hahaha, yeah, ok, whatever”

Back we went, Suzy asked for a t-shirt that she could wear to bed, I gave her one of my gym t-shirts. I stripped totally naked and jumped in bed beside her.

“I can’t believe you just got totally naked like that”

“This is how I normally sleep” this was a lie; I normally sleep in my boxers.

We both lay there, and I didn’t try to escalate. Sure enough, Suzy’s hand started to wander, and it eventually found my dick. She proceeded to wank me off and whispered in my ear…

“I won’t have sex with you tonight, but I have other… skills”

Suzy was not lying as she proceeded to give me one of the best blowjobs I’ve ever had, I always find black girls to be particularly talented in this department. I came in her mouth to reward her for her sterling effort, and she was only too glad to swallow.

I feebly tried to escalate once or twice, but I was too tired and rolled over and went to sleep.

We agreed to meet the following Sunday. She came out as agreed, I took her for food at a place near my apartment and then straight back to mine. No LMR this time, her clothes came straight off and I had her banged and was asleep by 11pm. I’m pretty certain she would have been a same day lay if her lady garden was suitably trimmed on the Friday, I recall having a rummage down there over the top of her underwear and it was like rubbing a mini Amazon. On the Sunday it was smooth as a baby’s bottom.

So, what did I learn from this experience? Nothing, but here’s some things you, my dear readers may have missed;

  • When a girl comes out on her own, she’s usually looking to get laid
  • Change the topic when the conversation isn’t going well
  • Don’t kiss her ass – if you don’t believe her about something, challenge her
  • Social proof is always good – get to know your local barman, or barista if you’re not an alkie like me
  • If a girl thinks you’re a player, let her. It’s a huge compliment
  • Sometimes her own obsession with personal hygiene will prevent you from getting laid, there’s not much you can do about this. I’d personally much rather bang a freshly shaven, sweet smelling vagina compared to a hairy sweaty one.


[1] This will be in my upcoming infield product which will be top, top, top secret. Only the crème de la crème of the PUA community will be granted access… If you think you’re crèmy enough, inbox me.


Lay Report: Bad boy, bad boy


I’ve been back in London a few weeks now and have only done a handful of sets since returning, I just haven’t had the time for it. But here’s a story about me SDLing a girl on my last day in Moscow…

It was a Saturday afternoon, my last full day in Moscow and I was severely hung over from the night before, I’d hit the bars with Seven daygame and didn’t get home til 6am. As a result, I didn’t wake up until around 1:30pm and by the time I eventually got my shit together to go out for some food it was 2:30pm. I messaged some of the lads to see if anyone wanted to join me for a late breakfast. No-one did.

It was the start of a 2 day celebration for Moscow’s 872nd birthday, the streets were rammed full of people and there was a big event happening on Tverskaya which meant that the road was closed to traffic and it also made it a pain in the arse to cross. I was grumpy as I manoeuvred my way through the crowds to get to my favourite breakfast establishment on Kamergirsky.

When I finally made it to Kamergirsky I noticed that almost every restaurant was full and there was a real carnival atmosphere about the place. As I made my way down the street, I saw a short girl with dirty blonde hair walking towards me. She was dressed quite formally; a beige blazer, a grey blouse, pink skirt and some pink high heels. As she got closer, I noticed that she was looking straight at me. Elena was very pretty, but I was quite reluctant to open as I hadn’t even had my first coffee of the day. I let her pass and as I turned to check her out from behind, she looked back at me. “Aaaaah Fuckit!” thought me.

I walked briskly to catch her up and opened her from the side (shock, horror) as the street was very busy.

“Excuuuuuuse me, I couldn’t help but notice that you were looking at me as you past by. You’re very cute, but it’s rude to stare”

“ahahaha well I thought you looked nice too”

Elena gave me a compliment straight off the bat, so I knew I had to take this further. I asked what she was up to and she told me that she was just walking. I told her that she looked awfully formal for just walking around. She said that she always dresses well. Gotta love them Russians.

“Well, I was just on my way for some breakfast, would you like to join me?”

“Breakfast?! It’s 3pm!”

“I had a late-night last night, I haven’t even had my morning coffee yet”

“OK, well I was going to get some food anyway, so why not!”

I walked us to two or three venues, but they were all packed, so I walked us in the direction of my apartment and found a nice place where we could sit outside in the sun. We sat down, I ordered a black coffee, a glass of red wine (to take the edge off) and a burger. She ordered an aperol spritz and a salad.

I found out that Elena was from a small town in Siberia, was 24 and was a schoolteacher. We talked a lot about travel – she was amazed to hear about my years spent in Africa and I made sure to play up my bad boy/adventurous side. I told her how I’d been to jail twice, how I’d surfed in shark infested waters whilst never being able to swim properly, how I’d climbed the highest mountain in Africa without doing any training for it (all true). She was mesmerised.

I’ve come to realise down the years that playing up to the bad boy caricature helps massively when pushing for fast sex – she needs to know that you are capable of anything at any moment. This also gives her more plausible deniability when justifying it in her head “Oh it wasn’t my fault I opened my legs, it was the bad boy who made me do it”.

After the meal I suggested we go for a walk, she was in. I walked us in the direction of my apartment – she didn’t ask where we were going. It was now around 5pm and the streets were getting busier and busier as we approached my front door.

“I live here, lets go up for a glass of wine and get away from the madness of these streets”

“You live here?! It’s so close”

“Yeah, I like to stay in the centre of the city when I travel. Just come up for a little while, you can leave if you feel uncomfortable”

“OK, just a little while”.

As we entered the room Elena took her heels off by the door. Most Russian girls do this without being asked. I took my boots off and poured us a glass of wine each. Elena sat herself down in the kitchen, as far away from the bedroom as possible.

After a few moments I invited her to the bedroom to check out the view out of the huge bay windows. She was impressed. I told her how I was told off by my Airbnb host for smoking cigarettes out the window on my first night. I didn’t tell her that there was a half-naked girl stood beside me as I did so. I sat her on my lap as I put on some music on the laptop. I started stroking her hair and at this point she turned to kiss me. She was still very timid, so I got up and left her in the room whilst I went to the bathroom.

When I returned I asked her to sit on my lap again. We started kissing, this time more passionately. I picked her up in my arms (she weighed about 45 kgs so this wasn’t difficult) and carried her to the bed.

“No, no, no! No sex!”

“Ok, let’s just get more comfortable”.

We fooled around on the bed for a few minutes. I tried to rub her pussy on top of her underwear, but she kept pushing my hand away. I rolled off again, returning to the computer to play some more youtube videos. Then again 10 minutes later I picked her up and took her to the bed. I was on top of her fully clothed and she reached down to rub my dick whilst I was kissing her. I unzipped and pulled it out and put her hand on it. She tugged away whilst I reached underneath her panties and started fingering her. She pushed my hand away and again said “No sex”.

I got fully undressed and to my surprised she started sucking me off. I pulled off her skirt and underwear and returned to fingering her. She was getting very turned on, so I pulled out a condom and quickly put it on. Again she said “No sex!”. Moments later she jumped on top of me and I slid it in.

“Bad boy, bad boy, baaaad boy” She moaned as she rode my cock like I was a rodeo bull.

The sex was fantastic and after I blew my load, she lay there with her entire body trembling – she’d clearly had an orgasm. I asked her when she’d last had sex and was unsurprised when she said over a year ago. We got dressed and I told her I had to go meet my friends.  As we made our way back out to the street, she asked me “Be honest, how many girls have you slept with in Moscow this time?”

“Ask no questions, hear no lies”. I try to avoid lying to girls.

At around 7pm we said our goodbyes, just under four hours after meeting each other.

Lay Report: Always Have Preservatives

She was slimmer, younger and therefore hotter than this. But it’s the right type of face.

After an action-packed week of debauchery in Moscow I decided to go to St. Petersburg to see a couple of old flames and allow my liver some recovery time. Whilst there I removed one girl from my marriage list, moved another up the pecking order, almost had a same day lay with a new girl and hung out with a couple of old wings. Upon leaving Saint Petersburg all symptoms of gout and diabetes were on the wane, I had a few good night’s sleep under my belt, and I was refreshed and eager to get back to Moscow. I touched down at around 5pm, was in my apartment by 6pm and on the streets by 6.30pm.

As I left the flat, I got a message from Seven asking if I wanted to join him and Mr White for dinner. All I wanted to do was sets, but I did need to eat. “Ok, I’ll see you boys there” I replied. I made my way down Tverskaya towards Kamergirsky and spotted a huge IOI off a cute little thing in a pink dress. I opened, she eye spazzed hard and clearly liked me. I went for the idate – boyfriend. I told her that it was nice to meet her and she asked for my Instagram as I said goodbye. Interested, but not available.

I moseyed further on down Tverskaya and stopped to take a picture for my Instagram story. The main purpose of this was to let my flakey Moscow leads know that I was back in town. As I was doing so, a short girl with long black hair down past her ass, a white baggy t-shirt, baggy denim jeans and trainers passed me from behind. I finished taking the picture and decided to follow up on her to see what her face looked like. It was very nice indeed – tanned skin, high cheekbones and big pink lips, BUT she had an Asian face. I took a closer look, there was no way she was Chinese, this girl was hot.

I opened and she was on guard straight away, I can’t remember much of what I said but I remember her vibe. She studied me up and down as if she was trying to decide if she could be bothered speaking to me.

“You’re very cute, but you don’t look Russian… Maybe Khazakh?”

“I’m Russian!”

“Ah ok, maybe your genetics come from somewhere else.”

“No, I’m Russian! I’m from Yakutia!”

“OK, OK, don’t hurt me.”

She smiled and dropped her guard a little. It started to rain so I moved her a few metres away to some shelter and carried on with the set. I found out she was a student of finance and was on her way home when I opened her. As the set went on, she apologised for being grumpy at first, guys talk to her in the street all the time and they’re usually creepy.

“Come on, it’s 7pm, it’s raining, let’s get out of the rain and get a quick a drink.”


“There’s lots of places on this street.”

“Ooooh K.”

I walked her to the first bar I saw, and we sat down opposite each other. As we sat Sasha told me that she didn’t drink alcohol, she ordered an orange juice and I got myself a glass of red wine. We went through the comfort fluff and then came the shit tests…

“You must do this to all the girls, this happens a lot, but I never go for a drink with guys I meet on the street”

“When I’m in Moscow I talk to 700 girls a day, when I’m in London I only do a hundred. Most English girls are ugly.“ I generally give ridiculous answers to shit tests.

She laughed and asked me more about English girls, Sasha was opening up and telling me all about her recent holiday to Dubai where she partied and drank wine every day and how she was now on a detox.

“Aaaaah so you do drink!” Her armour was cracking.

“Yes, but I’m in recovery mode.”

“Well I think this meeting is a worthy exception, I mean it’s not every day you meet a handsome, charming, funny AND modest Irish man.”

I waved the waiter over and ordered two glasses of wine this time. Sahsa looked at me, rolled her eyes and then bit her lip. I had her.

I made it clear at this point, if she hadn’t realised already, that she was on a date. I asked her if she’d ever dated an Irish man, she hadn’t. I asked if her if I was the oldest man she’d ever been on a date with, I was – Sasha had just turned 21.

She drank her wine quickly and puffed away on IQOS cigarettes as I puffed away on my vape. As we got to the end of our drinks, I suggested we go for a walk and find some real cigarettes. She liked this idea.

We started walking in the direction of my apartment stopping off to buy cigarettes on the way. We went to a bar opposite my apartment, it had a very studenty vibe about it, there were kids everywhere with laptops and it was brightly lit – not the best seduction venue. We had one quick drink at the bar before Sasha asked if we could go out for a cigarette.  After the cigarette she came into me for a hug, at this point I tilted her head up and kissed her. No resistance.

I suggested we go somewhere else as the student bar was terrible, she agreed. I walked us straight to my front door which was one block away. She was reluctant at first so I used the same line I use on every girl “Just come in for a little while, you can leave if you feel uncomfortable”.

Up she came, taking off her shoes on entry. I showed her around my swanky apartment and poured some wine. We sat in the kitchen chatting for about 20 minutes before I moved her to the bedroom. There was a study desk where I had put my laptop, I sat her on top of me on the chair and asked her to play some of her favourite Russian music on youtube. Sasha obliged and played some weird Russian hip hop asking me if I liked it…

“It’s truly awful, I can’t believe you’re making me listen to this” I find being honest with them usually works best.

“hahaha, come on, it’s good, you just need to broaden your horizons, old man!”

Sasha was bobbing her head along to the music and translating every other sentence. Unpredictably, the rap music was all about bitches and hoes.

After around 10 minutes of torture, Sasha turned on the chair and kissed me. Things got quite heated, so I picked her up and moved her to the bed.

“No sex, no sex, OK?”

“OK, no sex”

We rolled around on the bed but every time I tried to remove her clothing, she pushed me away. I rolled off and we drank more wine. Sasha asked if we could smoke out of my bedroom window, I wasn’t sure as I had only checked in around an hour before I met her.

“Fuck it, let’s do it” I declared.

I opened the huge bay windows and we hung out the window overlooking the city as dusk turned to night. As we finished the cigarettes someone on the balcony opposite started flashing a torch at us, which I assumed meant that we couldn’t smoke there. This was a perfect excuse to return to the bed.

The LMR carried on for around two hours, but eventually I got her almost naked, down to her underwear. I was on top of her on the bed, slid her underwear to the side and tried to slide in raw dog. She pushed my hips away and shouted.



“Preservative!” As she pointed at my penis…

“Oooooh, you mean a condom?”

I reached for a condom in the drawer, tore it open with my teeth and slid it on with my left hand whilst my right arm was still under her back…

“Wow, you’re a pro at this”

“ssssshh” I told Sasha.

As I slide it in, she said “We’re drunk, right?”

That was the first time I ever had a girl rationalising sex as I slid my dick in…

“Yes, we’re drunk” said an almost sober me.

The sex was wild, she kept repeating “We are drunk right? You are a bad boy! I never do this. I haven’t had sex in 6 months” as she bit my neck and scratched my back with her nails.

I let Sasha stay over, I enjoyed hanging out with her and she was very good in bed. We went at it four or five times that night and then again in the morning before she left in a cab. Not much sleep was had, and I was dead the next day.

So, what did I learn from this experience? Nothing new. But here are the key points for the beginners;

  1. Spot the switch. I knew it was on by the way she looked at me when I ordered her a glass of wine in the first bar. The vibe completely changed at this point, her guard dropped, and I knew all I had to do was be patient. I probably missed out on so many lays by not spotting this in my early days.
  2. As with all SDL’s – Lead, lead, lead!
  3. Thank the daygame Gods for putting them in your path.

Not Your Typical Lay Report


As mentioned on Moscow – Unfinished business, I got my first lay of the trip on the first night, always a good feeling. However, the most interesting part of this story is what happened a week later – I thought I was going to get a threesome, two actually, but it didn’t quite pan out that way…

Mr S, Mr Rasputin and I were finishing up our dinner at a restaurant on Kamergirsky which would become our regular breakfast venue for the rest of the trip. Mr Rasputin had just successfully persuaded Mr S to join us for a Russian Sauna experience [1] the next day. Out of the corner of my left eye I spotted a brunette in a black leather jacket, leather pants and a white, tight fitting top. She was pacing up and down whilst looking at her phone – girls are terrible at reading a map. I excused myself from the table and got up to introduce myself…

Excuuuuuse me, I was sitting over there and I thought you looked very pretty, but you clearly can’t read a map!

Nip a ne ma! Said the girl as she giggled uncontrollably.

I could see she was interested so I whooped out the google translate on my phone. If you don’t use this already, I highly recommend it – there’s a feature within the translate app called “conversation” with two microphone symbols above it. You press one button to speak in English and the other for Russian (or whatever language the girl speaks). You can maintain eye contact whilst speaking into the phone and it works 90% of the time, all the time. Much less clunky than typing into your phone.

We had a bit of back and forth for a few minutes before I asked what she was doing. Anastasia said that she was trying to find the nearest metro to go home. “Booooooring” said me.

I suggested a drink just up the road and she agreed. I went back to the lads and asked if they could pay my part of the bill and I’d sort them out later, of course they agreed.

Anastasia and I spoke nonsense over google translate as we made the 5-minute walk to a bar called Let’s Rock. I got the drinks in and we sat on a couch on the mezzanine level at the back of the bar. I don’t recall what we spoke about, it was all over google translate and I’d had a couple of drinks. I do remember that she was 24, was some sort of teacher and lived far out of the city centre. I kissed her not long into the first drink and paid the bill. Time to bounce home.

I bumped into Mr S as we were walking out of the bar, who was also with a girl…

Who’s this? Said Mr S.

Just some girl I met, who’s this? Said me.

Just some girl I met. Do ye wanna all get a drink together?

Ok, why not.

Mr S’s girl spoke perfect English whereas mine spoke zero. The two girls chatted quite a bit in Russian whilst Mr S and I discussed the logistics of how we would bounce.

Can I bounce mine first? I don’t think she’d like it if you’re spanking your one silly when we walk in. Pleaded Mr S.

OK, fair enough. Said me, reluctantly.

As we finished our drinks my girl told me that Mr S was very handsome and that he reminded her of Ryan Gosling.

Ah fuck Thought me.

I really don’t see it, but yes, he is handsome. I conceded.

We all enjoyed each other’s company for a while and the girls got a bystander to take pictures of the four of us together. Soon after this the other two excused themselves and I waited around 30mins before bouncing mine back and banging her. She had a great little body, a peachy ass with a small waist and nice breasts. I let her stay the night and she let herself out in the morning, with some encouragement from me.

We kept in touch throughout the week, but Anastasia kept telling me that she was sick in hospital but was still keen to see me again before I left. It turned out that she wasn’t lying. Fast forward to the following Saturday, Mr S’s last night in Russia and I got a message from her when I was on a date to nowhere with another girl.

What are you doing tonight? I am with a girlfriend; do you want to meet? Said her.

Is she offering up a threesome?! Thought me.

I should be free in an hour, what did you have in mind? Said me

You could meet with me and my friend. Said Anastasia

Yes, YES, this is IT. Thought me, threesome for sure!

Ok, Is your friend as pretty as you? Said me.

I think prettier.

OK, let’s meet in an hour. Said me, trying not to come across too keen.

Great, can you bring your friend? Said her.

BALLS, I instantly knew where this was going.

Which friend?

She sent through the picture of the four of us together with the caption “Ryan Gosling”.

FUCK! There goes the threesome. Thought me.

Mr S already had a date lined up with a girl he picked up from a secret location, which only he knows about and therefore which only he can enter which contains 9’s and 10’s ONLY – so he wasn’t that keen to come along. But his girl was taking long to get ready, so he agreed to come see what Anastasia’s friend looked like before deciding.

We made our way to the bar and the girls were already there waiting for us. Anastasia’s friend was indeed very pretty. She had a slightly Asian face but had a fantastic body – curves in all the right places and a few tattoos. It was obvious from the outset that she REALLY fancied Mr S before he even opened his mouth.

We all sat down for a drink together, Mr S beside Anastasias friend (let’s call her Dasha) and me beside Anastasia. Dasha spoke perfect English and we all got along fine. Mr S now had a real dilemma on his hands, ditch Dasha, a sure-fire notch, or go after another girl he thought could be a 9. We got a second round of drinks in and as soon as Mr S put the drinks on the table he left without even saying goodbye. He obviously chose the latter option.

I knew exactly where he’d gone, but I tried to carry on as if nothing had happened and attempted to manoeuvre the girls back onto threesome drive. It wasn’t happening. After around 5 minutes Dasha realised something was amiss “Where’s Mr S?” she asked.

“He mentioned something about having to meet another friend and left” I said.

“OH” Said Dasha as her face dropped.

“Stay a little longer, it’ll be fun” I pleaded.

“No, I really have to get up for work in the morning”

She said something in Russian to Anastasia and they both got up and left me with a table full of drinks. FUCK.

Soon after this I pinged Mr White who was also in town to see if he wanted to help me finish the drinks. He obliged. We sat there and supped away on vodka orange as we caught up on the day’s events.

Come on, let’s go inside and do some two-sets. Said me

Alright then, you mad cunt. Said Mr White in his usual encouraging way.

We walked inside and I saw a cute little two-set waiting for the toilet. One had long brown hair in a ponytail which went down past her ass and the other had blue eyes and black hair in a bob. Neither spoke a word of English.

Mr White rolled his eyes as if to say fuck this.

Don’t you worry Mr White, I got this. As I pulled out Google translate.

I opened the girl in the ponytail as her and her friend both stared up at me (they were both about 5’2”). They clearly liked me, I told them we should get a drink when they were finished in the bathroom and they agreed. I got the drinks and all four of us sat up on the same mezzanine level where I took Anastasia the previous week.

It turned out the girls would have to go home soon to get the last metro. I sat beside pony-tail girl, and Mr White sat beside the other one. Mr White and I were able to have full conversations in English right in front of them as we discussed logistics….

Come on Mr White, I think this is on, lets bounce em’ back to my place, it’s just up the road.

Mate, I really can’t be arsed, mine is a 6! I’d rather go home.

She’s a 7 at least! Come on, she’s cute.

Mate she’s a SIX

At this point Mr White’s girl interjected our conversation…

No sex!

Her English translation skills were clearly not up to scratch.

Come on Mr White, just come for a little while, this could be an easy notch for you. Mr White still hadn’t gotten laid by this point in the trip, so I used this against him for my own benefit.

We left the bar and the girls had agreed to come back with us. As we were walking, I remembered that I had no bounce back booze at the flat and all the off-licences were shut. I found a restaurant along the way and asked the waiter how much he would charge me for a bottle of wine. He wasn’t keen on selling it but then he finally offered me one for 3,200 rubles (not cheap). As is usual when I’m a bit tipsy, I stop caring about money and happily handed over my hard earned rubles and we were on our way.

The girls happily made themselves at home as we entered the flat at what must have been around midnight. We all had a glass of wine together before Mr White isolated his girl on the balcony and I got mine alone on the couch. I tried to kiss her, but she kept pulling away. I picked her up and carried her into my bedroom where I managed to get a small kiss on the lips. She pushed me off and said “Not now” on google translate.

After a couple of hours of neither of us getting anywhere, Mr White threw in the towel and left me alone with the two girls at around 2am.

“Second chance of a threesome” thought an ever optimistic me.

I sat the girls down either side of me on the couch, trying to spike things up by asking them if they’d ever kissed each other. They were having none of it. I tried to kiss both of them at separate points but got nowhere.

It was now pushing 3am when I got a message from Mr S “I’m bouncing will be home in 2mins”. FUCK.

I quickly grabbed both girls by the hand and pulled them towards my bedroom, but it was too late, Mr S opened the front door as we were running past it and his girl spotted my girls.

“Hey! Who are you?!” She screamed.

The three girls immediately started talking in Russian whilst Mr S and I looked at each other as if to say “What are we going to do now?!”

Mr S went straight to bed expecting that his girl would join him. But she didn’t. She stayed up chatting to me and the two other girls. They wanted to have a party. Pony-tail girl asked if she could order pizza and more wine. I said sure and she ordered it on her phone. It turned up 30 minutes or so later. I assumed that she had already paid for it, but no, she turned to me and said “It costs 4,000 rubles”… “WHAT?!” said angry me, before handing over more of my hard earned rubles.

It was now pushing 4am and I was getting tired and grumpy. I tried to get my girls to come to bed with me and Mr S’s girl to go to his room, but they were determined to stay up and party. Soon after this, blue eyes asked me if she could go to sleep in my bed and I told her yes, of course, thinking that this meant I was going to bang her. I tried one more time to get ponytail to come to bed but she stayed up listening to music with Mr S’s girl.

I stripped off and got into bed with blue eyes who was still fully clothed and sleeping already. I rubbed her leg before trying to kiss her and she muttered a load of Russian at me before turning her back to me. It wasn’t on.

I lay there in bed and the girls were still playing the music loudly at 5am in the lounge. I heard Mr S get up a few times to tell them to turn it down, we had to be up at 10am to check out at 11am. They didn’t turn the music down. At around 5.30 am I got up and went into Mr S’s room…

“Do you mind if I kick these bitches out? It’ll probably end things with your one”

“Do it, she’s dead to me”

I stormed into the lounge in my boxer shorts, pointed at the front door and shouted…

“GET THE FUCK OUT, GET THE FUCK OUT, NOW!!” I was genuinely angry, tiredness combined with two failed threesome attempts will do this to a man.

They both stared at me in shock, ponytail obviously had no idea what I’d said, but the other one did and translated on my behalf.

“Are you serious?!” She pleaded.

“Yes, LEAVE, NOW”. Said serious me.

They quickly gathered their shit and all three girls shuffled out the door at around 6am allowing Mr S and I to get our heads down for a few hours kip. What a cluster fuck.

So, what did I learn from that experience?

  1. I’m terrible at threesomes
  2. Provider game does not work

[1] It was a lot of fun, but the less said about it, the better

Lay Report: Another Satisfied Customer

Blacker than this.

This report is one from a back log (only 1 left after this) of lays that I never got around to writing up, however, this does not detract from the story. I broke almost every rule in the London Daygame Model – but it worked…

Sunday 9 June 2019

It was a lazy, sunny Sunday afternoon. I was hungover, as is usual for a Sunday, and rolled out of bed at around 1pm. I text Mr S. to see if he fancied going for a late breakfast, he was already at a local café with Xants so I quickly got ready and went along to join them.

Upon my arrival Xants greeted me – “You look like a homeless person! Is this why you were eating noodles from the floor last night?! Are you homeless now?!” [1]

Mr. S was laughing along “Yeah, Roy, you look like shit and you fuckin’ stink of booze!”

“Chicks can’t resist the smell of stale booze and cigarettes in the mornin’ – just watch me get a same day lay today” said me, even though it wasn’t morning.

After breakfast I decided to go solo. I put my headphones in, selected my “Walk like a badass” playlist from Spotify in an effort to inject some vibe into my alcohol infused veins and took a walk towards “down bottom” [2].

I opened two girls as I walked down Oxford street and I got blown out twice. “Shit, maybe I really do look like a homeless person!” I thought to myself. Undeterred, I carried on, the next one would be good. I got to glasshouse street and decided to take a little break and lean against the wall to fish for a bit. I puffed away on my vape and as I exhaled I could a see a very nice bum passing by at speed on the other side of my cloud of vapour. I didn’t see the face, but I studied her figure as she raced away from me – she was a black girl with short curly hair, she was slim but was wearing tight leggings which showed off her excellent hip to waist ratio, she was wearing a tight black leather jacket with a skull on the back of it. Everything about her screamed BAD SET – she was walking fast, there was no IOI, I hadn’t seen her face. But the spider sense tingled, and it rarely lets me down. “She’s horny, OPEN” I told myself.

I literally ran after her as she was making a beeline for Wholefoods. I could see I wasn’t going to catch her in time for a front stop so when I was about 10-15ft behind her I yelled…

“HEY, YOU THERE, BLACK SKULL JACKET!!” – She slowed down, I carried on…

“Yes, you, STOP a second!”… she was rooted to the spot and turned to face me, she was looking at me and then looking at the floor as if I was about to tell her she dropped something. I closed the distance on her whilst breathing heavily…

“Thanks, excuse me, I’m a bit out of breath…”

“Wats goin’ on ere?!” said the black girl in a proper London accent, the kind you would hear on an episode of East Enders.

“I saw you racing past me back there and… I thought you looked hot, you have a strange look about you… the rock n roll jacket and the gym lycras, a strange combo, but it works”

“OH Wow, fank yoouu”

“Why were you running down the street?!”

“Oh, that’s just how I walk, keeps me slim”

“It seems to be working”

Shirly cut me off as I attempted enter the “vibing” phase.

“I’m in a bit of an’ urry, you mind walking wif me whilst I get my shopping”

“Uhhhhm, OK” said me.

From here we went on a mini shopping trip to both Wholefoods and Boots by picadilly. All the while I made a conscious effort to look her up and down whilst she satisfied her consumerist urges … I told her that I wasn’t her personal shopping assistant, but I would offer my opinion on her potential purchases as long as we went for a drink afterwards, she agreed.

Around 30 minutes later I walked us to the Glassblower at the top of glasshouse street. We got the little table in the corner by the entrance and I was back in familiar territory. I found out that Shirly was 28, from North London, was a teacher and had a degree in psychology from Cambridge University. She was well read and quoted lots of literature at me and was also heavily into her gym which explained her athletic figure. This was not a typical London black girl and she knew it.

After the drink I suggested another one at a bar closer to mine. She agreed on the proviso that we go to Primark first – she had to buy a gift for her niece. I told her to do that another time, but she insisted. I reluctantly agreed. 20 minutes or so later I started walking us in the direction of my apartment, Shirly was carrying 3 big bags of shopping from Wholefoods, Boots and now Primark.

We stopped off at the Phoenix bar just behind Oxford circus and got another drink in. We sat beside each other on a bench and I started escalating. She was accepting all touch but would not let me kiss her. It was now around 7 or 8pm so I suggested we walk to Marylebone (where I lived at the time) but she wasn’t having it and started talking about getting food. In hindsight, I should have ended the date here but as I was insisting on doing everything wrong on this date, I decided to take her to meat liquor for burgers. After the meal I made once more attempt to bounce her back, but she lived quite far away and hot a lot of shopping back to get home, so insisted on leaving at 10pm.

We text back and forth for the next couple of weeks, but we were both always busy. Then randomly she was in my area a few weeks later…

27 June 2019

I was lay on my bed at around 10pm on a Thursday night attempting to read a book when my phone vibrated on my bedside lock next to me. It was Shirly – “I’m at Marylebone station, you around?”

I got ready and met her at the station at 10:30pm. Shirly showed up in heels and an orange figure hugging dress, she looked much hotter than when I met her the first time around. I took her for a drink at the bar next to my apartment and we cuddled up beside each other on the couch. I finally kissed her this time. It got to 11pm and the bar was closing so we had to leave, this was the perfect excuse to bounce her back to mine.

As we walked to my front door (it’s a 3 min walk away) I told her that I lived in the area – “NO FUCKING WAY! You live here?!”

“Yeah, I told you I live in this area”

“Yeah, but I didn’t realise you meant bang in the centa!”


“Look, I’m not going home with you, I need to leave for the last train soon”

“Oh OK”

“I am quite hungry though; is anything open around here?”

“No restaurants, except the two Indian places over there” – There are two Indian restaurants on my street corner.

I took her straight to the Indian knowing that by the time we finished eating she would have missed her last train home. I ordered the smallest thing possible on the menu and she ordered some rice-based dish which she ate about a quarter of. I had a pint and she a half pint.

Shirly paid the bill this time as I got the burgers the last. Shortly after this I took her home and fucked the shit out of her, the sex was amazing and she had a fantastic body – with larger breasts than expected (she never wears a bra), a tiny waist with a big butt and a very wet vagina. I let her stay over as I wasn’t working the next day (I was off on a Euro Jaunt). She let herself out the next and I fully intended on keeping her around as a regular – she was not only good in bed, but also good at chat.

However, I made a mess of the texting, there is no text game manuals around on how to handle girls AFTER you’ve banged em’. I messed it up because every time she wanted to see me, I had another date lined up or at least potential dates with new girls. I never wanted to commit to spending an evening with her in case one of my new leads came through. Then one day (it was gay pride in London) I was joking around with her over text, she didn’t take it well and things ended quite spectacularly…

That escalated quickly.


[1] At the end of the previous evening I bought a box of noodles from Wok to Wok. As I went to have my first bite, I intelligently dropped the full box on the ground and all the noodles fell out. I scooped them straight back into the box utilising the three second rule and carried on eating them.

[2] Down bottom is the term my wings use to refer to Piccadilly, Leicester Square, Covent garden and Trafalgar square. Up top is Regent Street/Oxford street – we tend to avoid this area when it’s too busy and/or infested with other daygamers spamming it up.

Lay Report: Another Colombian

The ass wasn’t quite this big.

This lay was quite uneventful up until the part where I drunkenly smashed through her LMR with a big push, not a recommended strategy, but it’s probably better than proposing…

Saturday 20 July 2019

It was around 5pm on a sunny afternoon and I was making my way down towards Soho to meet the lads for a few beers. As I was crossing oxford street to go into Soho, I saw a short sweaty latino looking girl in full black lycra. She had thick legs with big hips, a small waist and a toned bronze torso, her fantastic body was let down slightly by her moon shaped face, but it was still worth opening – Suzi was a still a 7.

I got in front and it turned out that she was a Colombian from Cali. She had just been to the gym and I complimented her dedication, getting all hot and sweaty indoors when it was so nice outside. I don’t recall much of the conversation, but I do remember the vibe, she was lapping it up. Suzi remarked a couple of times “I bet you do this with all the girls” – but it wasn’t a shit test, she seemed to be enjoying getting chatted up properly. I invited her out another time as I finished the set, but Suzi was going back to Colombia for three weeks for a family wedding. I took her number and put it in my cavernous vault of very good set/very low probability of banging leads.

I pinged her every few days as the weeks passed and she added me on Instagram – I’m pretty sure she wanted me to perv at her daily uploads of holiday bikini pictures. Of course, I did just that, but I didn’t tell her so or like any of her pictures. A couple of days before she was due back, I challenged her to a competition – whoever had the least sun tan would buy the first round of drinks. She accepted and I knew I was going to lose but it would be a loss I’d gladly endure to win the war. We set it up for Saturday past.

Saturday 17 August 2019

I’d spent most of the day wandering the streets with Mr S. It was one of those days that should have been great for daygame but just wasn’t. In three hours, I didn’t see one girl I wanted to open, sometimes the quality is just not there. At around 5pm we threw in the towel and went to a pub to watch the football and get some food. My date with Suzi was confirmed for 8pm and we would meet at Tottenham Court Road.

I turned up 5 minutes late and a little bit tipsy from the three pints I had at the football… She noticed straight away…

“Had a few drinks, have we?!”

“Ah just one with the football” I lied.

Suzi was not impressed but I didn’t apologise and proceeded to walk her to a bar beside my apartment. We got through the comfort fluff over the first drink – she told me all about her holiday, I found out she was 28 and most importantly, she was looking for a boyfriend. We moved to the same cocktail bar opposite my place (as mentioned here) for the second round and I sat beside her on a couch. I got social proof again from the Joe the bar man as he poured us two if his cocktails of the month whilst asking who the lovely lady was. It was now pushing 10pm and Suzi didn’t seem in a hurry to go anywhere. We had another round of cocktails before I bounced her back to the apartment for what I was sure was going to be an easy lay.

I took her to the rooftop for a quick glass of wine and then back down to the bedroom. There was lots of kissing but every time I tried to remove her clothing she would slap my hand away and say things like “NO, I don’t do this on a first date!”… “I want a boyfriend, not just a one night stand”… bla bla.

I grew more and more frustrated as it got later and later. At around 1am I ran out of patience…

“Look, if you don’t want to have sex, just leave!”

“Really?! You are only after sex? Why didn’t you say so?” said Suzi.

“Huh, I thought it was pretty obvious” said me, it was.

“I guess you’re just not the relationship typa guy” she was talking herself into it.

“Not at the moment, no”

We kissed, the clothes came off and I took great pleasure in spanking her big Columbian ass. I didn’t realise it at the time, but we were VERY noisy. I had the music up full blast and Suzi was not a quiet girl. Mr S told me the next day that he had the worst nights sleep and that the neighbours were banging on the door at 2am. I was oblivious to all of this. I apologised to Mr S, but he was having none of it “No apology necessary – revenge will be sweet”. The joys of sharing a flat with another player are endless.





Lay Report: Marriage Game

Similar except my girl was whiter, had bigger hips and a smaller waist. So, hotter than this.

A few weeks back Xants asked me if I fancied accompanying him for a long weekend in Belgrade, he had a hot long lead [1] he wished to pursue. I didn’t have much in the way of hot leads there myself, but I did have quite a few lukewarm ones, and, I do really like Belgrade. I carefully considered the pro’s and con’s of my good friends proposition for all of three seconds before confirming my attendance, I’m a nice guy, after all.

A week or so before the trip I started pinging said lukewarm leads and got radio silence from all but two. One was a hot little 17-year-old that I Instagram closed a month previous but never got out. The other was a cute little 22-year-old I’d been on FIVE dates with over a year ago but never got further than kissing, she wanted a boyfriend. I’d kept tabs on her over Instagram, since I left last year it looked like she’d gotten a serious boyfriend as she was kissing some chode in almost every picture. Then a couple of months ago the boyfriend did a Houdini and disappeared from all her stories and pictures. One evening she posted a picture of herself in a tight little black skirt, she looked fucking hot. So naturally, I sent her a drunken creative message “let’s get married”. A week later she replied “Where, when?” We got into a text exchange and I informed her of my impending return to Belgrade, we agreed to meet to discuss our marriage plans. So, I had one very weak lead whom I’d not even dated and one strong one, provided I married her…

How to get a girl to marry you.

Xants and I set off for Luton airport at around 04:30 on the Thursday morning and arrived at our usual apartment just behind Knez at around 1pm. Our place was still being cleaned so we took ourselves for a bit of brunch and fishing by Republic Square as we basked in the plus 30-degree heat.

I pinged the 17-year-old and she responded instantly, her face is obviously permanently glued to her phone as with most of the kids today, asking if we could meet at 2pm instead of that evening. There was a lot of back and forth over text, mainly due to her being a dappy 17-year-old. The upshot was that I wouldn’t get her out that day [2] – she’d had an argument with her parents because they bought her 13yr old sister a better phone than her and was consequently grounded. The 22-year-old was straight forward, mainly due to her not being dappy and/or 17, so I set up a date with her for the following evening, Friday.

This was my first time in Belgrade in August, and it will probably be the last – the heat was unbearable, and I was sweating profusely. There weren’t that many sets about, they were either hiding from the heat or away on holidays, most of the girls that were walking the streets were jailbait. So, on the Friday afternoon Xants and I parked ourselves at our favourite drinking establishment on Knez and proceeded to get tipsy. Eventually, the right honourable Nick Krauser joined us to regale us with tales of his latest adventures in Warsaw. He’d spoken at the 21 convention and done a few resi’s. After that we went for dinner at our favourite restaurant where a delicious steak and a few gallons of wine costs about 50p – we ate like kings.

As we polished off the last of the wine it was already 9pm and I was supposed to meet Vicky (the 22-year-old), she pinged asking where I was and I sent her my location on google maps telling her to meet me at the restaurant whilst I waited to pay the bill. A few minutes later Xants spotted a short brunette with a tidy little frame in blue hot pants and a tight white vest top that showed off her flat stomach walking quickly past our table. I could see he was about to get up and make chase…

“VICKY!!” I shouted over at her… Xants sat back down in his chair upon realising he was about to open my girl.

Vicky joined us at the table, I pulled her up a chair beside me and introduced her to the lads. Nick tried to make small talk with her as we waited for the bill, but I could see his Geordie accent had her thoroughly bamboozled, so I kindly translated…


“Oh, yes, hahahaha, at the football” Said Vicky.

“aye” said Nick.

Luckily, we were saved by the bill moments later. I paid up and dragged Vicky off to the Irish pub which was right beside my apartment. My plan was to have one drink, catch up on what had happened in her life and take it from there. We quickly got through the comfort fluff over the first drink; she’d changed jobs and was finished her degree. Now she was working as an au pair for special needs kids. Then she started telling me that she had recently broken up with her boyfriend. I ordered another round of drinks.

It turned out that he was an asshole and her boyfriend before that was also an asshole, she was done with Serbian men. Vicky went on to explain that when I’d met her last year she had just broken up with her boyfriend and she wasn’t ready for anyone else.

“Hang on, haven’t you just broken up with another one?”

“Yes, but that was a few months ago” explained Vicky

“Aaaah, so you’re over him now?”


I quickly finished both our G&T’s…

“It’s hot and sticky out here, let’s go upstairs to my cool air-conditioned apartment!”


I took her upstairs, put some music on, poured the wine and within minutes she was naked on my couch. I picked all 48 kilograms of her up and carried her to the bedroom to finish the job, no LMR this year. The sex was amazing, Vicky had one of the best booties I’ve ever had the pleasure of spanking until it was red raw. She was an 8 [3]. Vicky left soon after this as she had to be up early for work the next day. All of this without mention of our supposed marriage, however I wasn’t entirely joking about this.

We met the next evening and went for a drink. She asked me if I was serious about the marriage message. I explained to her that I was drunk when I sent it, but that didn’t mean I was joking.

“You do tick all the boxes; you’re young, you’re hot, you’re fun to be around and you would make a great mother” said me, all true.

“Thanks! There’s nothing I want more than to be a good mother. I think you would be the best dad”

We discussed the logistics of how it could work and agreed to keep in touch for another year or so. Vicky has a place near the top of my marriage list [4] and I told her so, she seemed happy about this and started asking about the other girls on it, I told her not to worry about that. After this we went back to the flat for round two and the sex was even better.

Later that evening I met Nick at a dodgy dive bar for a last beer before my flight the next morning. I told him all about my little list and how I didn’t want to daygame forever [5], but my biggest fear of settling down with just one girl was avoiding the temptation of chasing new skirt. Nick doesn’t chase the skirt as much these days and seems fairly content not doing so. Jimmy Jambone is another who seems to be in a happy relationship. Nick explained that it didn’t happen to him overnight, it was a gradual enthusiasm drip from 2015 onwards…

“You’ll get to a point when you’re just not arsed anymore, it might be before you hit your target [6], or it might come after. But it’s happened to me and it’s happened to Jimmy. You’ll know when you know and you will be able to sit around a table with other players who’ve left their mark on the community and say ‘yeah, I deserve to be at this table’”

“I hope you’re right” I said sceptically before guzzling down the last of my cheap Serbian lager.

So, there you have it kids, next time a girl is giving you the dreaded LMR, just tell em’ you’ll marry em’! It works 60% of the time, all the time.



[1] She stopped messaging him a couple of days before the trip and ghosted. It’s happened to me.

[2] I got her out a couple of days later, but it was only for an hour before she went off to meet friends. Back in the lukewarm long lead box she goes.

[3] Xants told me this the next day without me even asking what he thought.

[4] There are now 5, maybe 6 girls on this list. I still fully intend to hang the gloves up at then end of next year.

[5] This is not society telling me to do so, I want at least one little Roy.

[6] 100 daygame notches. I’m already over 100 including pre-game and bar game lays.

Lay Report: A straggler from the street

You look French

A couple of weeks ago I was out drinking with the lads and Jimmy Jambone was there. We got to talking about my game, he was saying all sorts of nice things and told me he wanted to see me in set. I offered him to wing me one weekend and we set it up for yesterday.

We met up at Tottenham Court Road at 1pm. It was a lovely afternoon, low to mid-twenties but slightly overcast, not too hot, not cold at all, perfect daygame weather. Jimmy was in good spirits as we walked around. I didn’t do my first set for a good hour, there just wasn’t much about. But then as we walked along Oxford street the action started. There was an Antifa protest up towards Selfridges, tear gas was in the air and I didn’t care.

Charity chugger kids were patrolling the streets with flyers about stopping knife crime in London. As I was in set, Jimmy had an open and honest conversation with one of them. “What’s your solution?” Jimmy asked the kid. “Well, we’ll organise 5-a-side football for the kids in the suburbs”. “No, no, no. That’s not going to work!” said Jimmy. “It all starts at home, with the family. Kids need a father figure, pheromones. Ya know?” Jimmy told me that he saw the penny drop in this little kids eyeballs and he thanked Jimmy for his wise words. As Jimmy went about solving the knife crime epidemic, I was committing worse crimes in set. I’d open and nothing was flowing. “You don’t look English… I’d guess Eastern European… not Russian though” I found myself saying over and over again as I burned set after set.

I’d bored 6 girls to death before we sat down for a coffee in the Seven Dials Café Nero. Xants joined us at this point and lifted the mood with his business jokes. We walked around in a three, but it wasn’t awkward as Jimmy was an innocent bystander to our atrocious game. My 9th set was a cute little Blonde Polish girl, I took her number but she would later tell me over text that she actually had a boyfriend. My 10th was a hot little Italian who would only give me her Instagram and flaked. At around 5.30 I’d had enough. “Fuck this, I’ve had enough, let’s go for a pint!” I begged the lads.

With the towel thrown in and my tail tucked firmly between my legs, we supped on pints in Soho and talked about the good old days, when game was fun. We moved to the Shakespeares head on Carnaby street to drink and fish. All the big name players joined us at one point or another, Richard from Street attraction, Thomas Crown, Mr Rasputin, Mr White… and Xants’ wrestling mate, TJ. It was a right little rat pack, but I couldn’t relax. I broke off from the group and went for a walk on my own. I opened a cute blonde English girl and took her for a drink around the corner from the lads. We had a good chat, but she’s also flaked. At around 11pm the lads were hungry so they descended on five guys in Argyll street. I waited outside as I wasn’t hungry. After 10 minutes or so I decided that I was tired and started walking home.

As I walked down Oxford street, I saw a hot little brunette in heels and a short orange skirt with an amazing hour glass figure, a high 7, possibly even an 8. “There it IS, MY SET OF GLORY!” I told myself as I ran after her. Bella was French, from Paris and had been out for a few drinks. She was about to jump on the tube to go home. “Booooooring!” Protested me. “Let’s go for a night cap”. “But where, everywhere seems to be closed in London”. “I know a place just up the road, come on, it’ll be fun”. “OK!”

I walked Bella in the direction of my apartment. There’s a cocktail bar just opposite where I’ve gotten quite friendly with Joe, the owner, as I’ve taken several girls on dates there. As I walked into to the bar he hollered “ROOOOOOY, Welcome back! Who’s the lovely lady?!” said Joe as he poured three tequilas for us all.

“Alright mate, ah just some straggler I picked up off the street”. Bella punched me in the arm at this point. We had one drink before I offered her to come to mine for a drink on the rooftop. Bella said “Only if you have Rose wine”. Luckily Mr S had left the remains of one bottle of Rose in the fridge. I poured the wine and took Bella up to the rooftop. I went for the kiss and she was all over me, her hands went straight for my dick. I unzipped, turned her round, lifted her skirt, pulled her underwear to the side and banged her doggy raw dog over the edge of the roof. She screamed with pleasure, so much so that I had to maim her with my hand so as not to wake the neighbours. As we continued I was growing concerned that someone might catch us, so I took her back down to my flat and finished the job.

Bella was great in the sack and I took great joy in cuming all over her big fake titties. I offered her to stay over but she insisted on getting an uber shortly afterwards. I collapsed on the bed. What a day.








Lay Report: My First Argentinian

She doesn’t look anything like this girl. But the flag is correct.

I’m having a weekend off from daygame, so hopefully I can get through the backlog of lay reports. Only two to go after this one!..

The last Thursday of June was my final evening in my Marylebone apartment. I had no dates lined up for the evening, so I decided to go out and hunt for one last notch [1]. I got home from work, took a shower and got my daygame threads on before taking a stroll down Marylebone high street in the direction of Oxford street. As I got to the bottom of the street, I saw a short little brunette walking towards me with ridiculously big pointy sunglasses on her face. She stopped on the corner of the street to look at her phone, then up at the street signs, then rotated on the spot whilst looking back at her phone. She was clearly trying to find something.

As I got closer, I examined her form in more detail. She had big hips and a small waist, her legs were thick, not fat, she had a flat stomach and a very cute face. She had a rocker look about her with a black leather jacket, a t-shirt of some band and black leggings. She was a solid 7 and definitely worth having a chat…

“Excuuuuuse me, I can see that you’re clearly lost, but I had to say… you look really cute, like a cross between Olivia Newton-John and… Elton John” I was quite proud of my creativity.

“Bahahahaha, who are they?” said Elena – what a waste.

“Never mind, so what are you looking for?”

“I’m looking for a boxing gym!”

Turned out that Elena was from Argentina (NEW FLAG), had arrived in London a month ago and was now looking to join a boxing gym. She was 24, had dropped out of her mechanical engineering degree in her final year as it was too difficult and had chosen London as a temporary base whilst she improved her English before becoming an air hostess. I told her some stuff about me before going for the number, she would only give me her Instagram as she said she didn’t have whatsapp.

The texting was straight forward and after some back and forth we agreed to meet the following Wednesday…

We arrnaged to meet at 7.30pm at Tottenham Court Road station. I had just moved apartments the previous Friday and this would be my first proper date [2] since moving. As it turned out, my flat mate had a date lined up at the same meeting point and time. We both stood there waiting for our girls, Mr. S was telling me how he couldn’t remember what his looked like, it was dark when he opened her – I laughed at him and reasoned “Surely she must have been hot if you opened her”… “I fuckin’ hope so, I tink a might just bin her off after one drink if she’s mingin’” – Sound logic.

His arrived first and he was relieved to see that she was indeed pretty. Mine arrived shortly afterwards looking nice and slutty – she wore black heeled boots, torn black tights, a short black leather skirt, a tight white t-shirt and the same black leather jacket. She’d put a bit more make-up on and had done her hair – she looked very bangable indeed.

I walked us towards Fitzrovia to find that all the bars were packed full of office folk having post work pints in the glorious London sunshine. Eventually we found a pub quite close to my apartment with a table outside. I told Elena to grab the table whilst I got the drinks in. We ploughed through the comfort fluff as we sipped on our beers and puffed on cigarettes. Elena was very bubbly, giggling at almost everything I said. I enjoyed laughing at her when she spoke broken English and she would thank me for correcting her. She opened up on her hopes and dreams, telling me that she regretted dropping out of university and how she wished she had some proper qualifications. Her bar job didn’t pay well, and she was struggling to get a job as an air hostess… I empathised before offering some solutions;

“Have you considered becoming a stripper or a prostitute? I think you’d do well”

“AHAHAHA – NO!” giggled Elena, as she punched me on the arm. From previous experience, if a girl punches me on the arm, I’m 99% certain that I will bang her.

We got a second drink at the same venue as it was still nice outside even though it was pushing 9pm. I asked Elena what time she had to be up in the morning.

“I have be at work in 8am, so I need to wake early, I hate early.”

“Ah so you need to go home soon?”


BALLS. I now had to decide whether to push fast for the first date lay or delay it to a second date. I chose the former, obviously. I drank my pint in about five minutes as well as most of her half pint and announced that we were going for a walk.

“Where to?”

“Disney land”

“haha, Ok, I love Disney”

I walked her straight to my front door.

“Oh, would you look at that, I live here, want to come up for a glass of wine before you go home?”

“Just wine?”

“And good company of course, I might even play you a song on my guitar, or show you my roof top view of London” [3]


At this point I still hadn’t even kissed her, but she was accepting my touch throughout the date. I showed her the flat, poured the wine into water glasses (we still don’t have wine glasses in the new place) and went straight to the bedroom. I stuck on spotify and she found a playlist full of Argentinian music – it was god awful, but I was willing to lose the battle to win the war. Not long afterwards I went for the kiss and that was it for her. She moaned as I kissed her and started rubbing my cock over the top of my jeans and tugging at my belt to try and remove it. The clothes quickly came off and I took great pleasure in spanking her big round booty [4] as I banged her from all angles. Not long afterwards Elena jumped in an Uber and Mr S. and I debriefed each other in the kitchen, he’d also banged his girl. We both got our first lay on the same night in the new apartment and we also both got new lays on the last night of the old apartment. Isn’t that something.

[1] I got one, but it wasn’t with this girl, that will be my next lay report

[2] I had a Sunday afternoon date with a crazy Thai bird that l I bounced back, but it didn’t go anywhere

[3] None of this happened.

[4] Mr. S did not enjoy the sound of this so much. He was trying to sleep in his bedroom on the other side of the wall… “Jesus Roy, what’s with all the spanking?! Can you calm down on that a bit next time, it was keeping me up!” he told me later on.

Lay Report: A Demure Russian

Unfortunately, she wasn’t this hot.

Just when I got the backlog down to 3 lay reports, I had to go and get another one didn’t I. This story is similar to the last one in structure, but the girl was worlds apart…

On Friday evening past I had a second date with a black English Milf – she tried to friend zone me so I ended it after an hour and decided to do some daygame. I met up with Mr.S at 8pm and walked around to see what took my fancy. My intent to open was quite low as I had a date lined up with the Bosnian I’d closed the previous night at 11pm.

After an hour or so we were on our last lap of Oxford street before retiring for a cheeky pint. It was my turn to open when we both saw a short little brunette walking towards us. She had tanned skin, her hair was down to her bum and she wore a denim jacket, a tight little white dress and converse trainers. “If you don’t do that, I’m doing it!” Mr.S informed me. I thought about it for a micro-second – “I’ll do it” said me.

I got in front and told her she looked very cute, too cute to be walking the streets alone on a Friday night. A huge smile cracked open on her face to reveal a glistening metallic grill on top of her teeth – she had braces and instantly dropped from a high 7 to a low 7. I carried on with my prattle for a few minutes and she just stared at me without saying a word, but I could see she was enjoying it as she couldn’t stop smiling.

“You’re not from these parts, are you?”


“If I had to guess, I’d say Russian”

“Haha how did you know?”

“I’ve spent a bit of time in Saint Petersburg and Moscow, you remind me of the girls there, the dress, the jacket… the converse… Меня зовут Roy”

“Aaaah haha, I’m Sofija”

Sofija was very shy and her English wasn’t great but she kept staring deep into my eyes like she was trying to see into my soul. She was on…

“So, what are you doing right now?”

“Oh, I was about to go home on the bus”

“Booooooooooring, come on, it’s Friday night, let’s get a quick drink!”

“Hmmmmm… OK where?”

“Just follow me”

I walked us to the Argyll Arms, got the drinks in and we sat beside each other on one of the benches in the back of the bar. Turned out Sofija had just got to London and was here for the Summer to learn English. Quite early on she told me that she hated her father as he left her mother to bringe her and her 3 sisters up when she was a kid, I empathised with her. I asked her what type of men she liked, and she more or less described me. I tried to kiss her a few times, but she kept giving me the cheek. Eventually she relented but would only kiss with her mouth closed. I couldn’t figure out if she was ashamed of her braces, didn’t like kissing in public, or if it was all too fast for her. I didn’t have time to figure it out, it was now almost 11pm and I was supposed to be meeting the Bosnian.

I considered binning off the Bosnian to push for the SDL as it seemed on, but I knew the Bosnian was on as well because she was very keen over text and meeting at that late an hour usually means sex.

I turned to Sofija and asked her plans for the following day, she had nothing on so I told her I had to leave and we could meet then instead. She was slightly shocked and looked disappointed before agreeing to meet the next day. As I walked her to the bus stop the Bosnian rang me…


“I’m just with a friend at Oxford circus, I’ll be there shortly”


“No, stay there, I’ll be 5-10mins”

Sofija asked who I was speaking to, the Bosnian was so loud that she probably heard everything.

“Ah it’s just a crazy friend, I have to go for a drink now for a friends birthday.”

I think she bought it. Sofija jumped on her bus and I took a brisk walk up to Tottenham Court road where the Bosnian was stood waiting, you can read the rest of that story here.

The next day I pinged Sofija to see if she was still keen – we agreed to meet at 8pm at Oxford Circus. It was gay pride in London on the Saturday. The streets were queered up to the max so Xants and myself decided to get out of dodge and do our daygame down by Southbank. It was nice down there but there weren’t that many sets. As it got towards 7pm we made our way back over the river to meet the lads for a pint before my date.

At 8pm I pinged her to see if she was on time and she responded saying “Sorry, I’m having some issues with my friends”

“Oh, so are you coming or not?”

“Yes, but I don’t know when”

I carried on drinking with the lads and we all went for dinner. It was almost 10pm when she showed up at the restaurant. I settled my part of the bill, said my goodbyes to the lads and walked her back towards the flat.

I took her to the same speakeasy as I took the Bosnian the night before, had one drink and said almost the exact same thing as the night before – “it’s too noisy here, you want to have a drink on the rooftop at my place instead?”

“Oh, OK”

As we walked back it started to rain so the rooftop was no longer an option. We got into the flat, she took her shoes off and then all her defences dropped. She was kissing me frantically and our clothes came off at the door. I took her straight to the bedroom and pounded her tight little vagina for an hour or so before I collapsed in a tired, sweaty mess.

Sofija was my third new daygame lay in four days. The new apartment seems to be paying dividends already. So, although this is a fairly boring report, it reinforced a few things for me;

  1. Just because she’s shy/k-selected, it doesn’t mean she won’t bang quickly
  2. Escalate on orange lights
  3. Good logistics are a massive advantage

Lay Report: A Bonkers Bosnian

bosnia-fanjpeg-1I’m getting laid faster than I can write reports these days and now have a back log of four to get through. I’ll start with the most recent and keep them all short and sweet…

At around 9pm on Thursday evening I was having a beer outside the Argyll arms with Xants and Mr S. I’d only done 3 sets during the daygame session due to sheer exhaustion – the previous night I slept with a cute little Argentinian that kept me awake until the early hours of the morning.

Mr. S and I were discussing how great our new flat is and the opportunities it would present to us. Then out of the corner of my eye I spotted a browney Slavic looking girl slinking past. Iva was a slim, late twenties brunette with a pierced eyebrow and olive skin. She wore a black vest, black short shorts and black knee-high leather boots. I’d put her in the high 6/low 7 bracket.

“Mate, she’s got Roy written all over her!” declared Xants.

“uuuuuugggghh…. OK” – and off I went.

I got in front and the hook was instant. I don’t remember specifically what I said, but it was something along the lines of how I liked her Slavic slinky walk, like she was a cat, or a spy, or something.

Then she hit me with this husky voice –“Oooooh wow, this is sooo cool” – she sounded like a bad girl from the Bond movies and I told her so. Iva told me she was Croatian and had recently moved to London. She was on her way to meet a guy and was angry at how he was making her meet him in a pub. I told her he sounded pretty alpha. We chatted a bit more and then she said;

“You know what, fuck this guy, can I go for a drink with you instead?”

“Now?.. Uhhhm, OK”

As I started to walk her in the direction of my apartment her phone rang… It was the guy… she hesitated and then answered…

“YOU’RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE! Why won’t you come to meet me?!”

It’s fair to say she was angry at this alpha chap.

“I’ve met a cool Irish guy and I’m going for a drink with him instead – ASSHOLE!”

I’d never seen such blatant hypergamy in action. Then she was quiet for a minute as the guy calmed her down over the phone.

“OK, OK, OK! I’m coming – ASSHOLE!” – Iva hung up the phone.

“So, we’re not going for a drink then?” deduced me.

“No, I don’t like to let people down. But can we do it another time? You seem really cool”


I took her number and off she went. I returned to the lads – “another nutter, why’s it always me?” I pondered.

I awoke on Friday morning to a stream of messages from Iva, I hadn’t even sent her a feeler. Her last message was “are you free for a drink one of these days?”

“yeah, tonight?”

“OK, what time?!”


“Oh, I’m working to 11, can we meet after that?”

“OK” – that my friends, is a sex date.

I ended up meeting her at 23:45 at Tottenham court road station and walked her in the direction of my apartment. There was only one bar open, a little speakeasy on the corner of my street. But because all the other bars were closed, they had a DJ and made it into a little night club. We had one drink before I invited her to my apartment to have wine on the roof top. She necked her drink as soon as I suggested this and said, “Let’s go!”

We smoked cigarettes and drank wine on the rooftop as we got to know each other some more. I found out Iva was actually born in Bosnia (NEW FLAG!) but grew up in Croatia. She upped and left with only £100 in her bank account and no idea how she was going to survive. I admired that. But then she started telling me too much. She didn’t like the guy from the previous night, but she still had sex with him. This turned me off massively. I sat there trying to decide if I still wanted to go through with it and Iva noticed that I had gone quiet… “is this weird for you? Shall I go home?”

“You talk too much, I don’t need your life story”

“Oooooh I’m so sorry, this is just how I am”

“OK, well some advice, don’t tell guys about other guys you’re banging”

“OK, I’m so sorry”

“Come on, let’s go back down to my flat”

I took her straight to the bedroom, the clothes came off, I made sure to rubber up and we had sex. We went at it 3 times, I came the first, she came the second and I the third. As I pulled my dick out after pounding her hard in the doggy position, I looked down to see the condom all shrivelled up around the base of my cock. FUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCK.

Iva started freaking out…

“Oh my God, I don’t want kids!! Do you have anything?? When’s the last time you got tested?”

“Not that I know of… don’t worry about it, sleep here, I’ll take you for the pill in the morning” Said me.

“Why are you so relaxed?! This is fucked!!”

“It’ll be fiiiiiiine, you worry to much” – inside I was freaking out too.

Iva took herself for a shower and I laughed to myself on the bed as I thought of Jacob Zuma’s infamous quote…

Wise words.

Iva returned from her shower and announced “Well, we may as well do it again because I’ve probably already got whatever you have…. And you owe me one more orgasm”. So, we did it again.

The next morning, I took her straight to the pharmacy and then I even bought her breakfast. I won’t be seeing her again.







Lay Report: SDDL with a Pretty Persian

Another flag for the collection.

I went to Belgrade for 10 days at the end of May – it was a washout. I did around 60 sets closing half of them. I had 6 dates all with frigid girls, most of which who wouldn’t even kiss – it just wasn’t happening for me on that trip, but I was determined to rectify the anomaly.

I decided to go back for 3 days this weekend past as I had quite a lot of mildly interested long leads from the last trip. I had about 10 girls who were very texty texty right up until the moment I arrived in Belgrade – however, they all magically lost the ability to text as soon as the rubber hit the tarmac. It’s a common phenomenon for a seasoned Euro Jaunter – the girl feels very comfortable consuming the dopamine with each text from a man far, far away, then as soon as she is forced to shit or get off the pot she gets sucked into a proximity vacuum, never to be seen or heard from again.

So, I knew on arrival that it was all about getting new girls in a very short window, no easy task in a place like Belgrade. I did 8 sets on the Friday and 5 on the Saturday. I banged one of those on the Saturday night and almost banged another on the Sunday. Here’s the story…

I was strolling up Knez Mihailova with my old wing from Manchester, the Cheshire Cat (CC). It was around 30 degrees out and my balls were working up a good sweat, I’d forgotten to bring talcom powder and it was starting to get chafey down there. CC was rambling on about how good it was to wing with Nick Krauser and watch a real master at work. “What are you on about? You’ve always witnessed mastery when winging with me!” I countered, modestly.

As we walked in the direction of Kalemegdan I spotted a tiny little brown girl in denim short shorts approaching in the distance. She completed her look with a tight black vest which sported a surprisingly large cleavage and some black sandals. As she got closer I got a better look at her face, it wasn’t Serbian, but more Persian with a slightly pointy nose. I let her walk by and wasn’t even going to open until I noticed that her ass-cheeks were hanging out of her shorts, it was a sight to behold. I had no choice but to open.

I got in front and the hook point was instant. Reena was indeed Persian, from Iran and was only in town for a couple of days. It just so happened that she was looking for something to do that very evening. I told her I knew a few cool places and that I could, as it turned out, take her for a drink right away. Reena declined my kind offer as she was on her way to meet up with some couch surfers – a very K selected thing to do. However, she did have a counteroffer, asking me if I would be free at around 10pm. I told her that I could probably make some time and that I knew a couple of cool places down by the bridge where we could go. Reena liked this idea and told me she would wear a nice dress and put some make-up on.

OK, deal, see you later. said me.

Yes, hopefully you will not cancel on me. said Reena.

It was on like donkey kong. I went back to CC and announced that I was probably going to get laid barring any curve balls. An hour later I went for dinner with CC and Nick and pinged her a photo of my tasty beef steak – she responded quickly and asked if we could meet at 10:30pm instead. I agreed.

Reena eventually turned up to the meeting point near Republic Square at around 10.45pm. She wore a tight little orange dress which made her cleavage pop out and showed off her flat stomach which was adorned with a pierced belly button. It was safe to say that I really wanted to bang her.

As we walked she latched onto my arm and confessed that she’d had a couple of drinks with the couch surfers and was a little tipsy and hungry. I told her not to worry, I’d take her for food and water on the way. Sparing no expense, I took her to McDonalds and ordered her some chicken nuggets and a bottle of water – I had a beer. We sat on high stools and I ran my normal first venue structure as she dunked her nuggets into a small tub of ketchup. I found out that Reena was 27, was born in Tehran but had moved to Italy when she was a young girl and now lives in Austria. She told me that none of those places feel like home and that she struggles to fit in wherever she goes. She continued telling me how disappointed she was with most people in her life, she hated her parents for not making her more disciplined, she hated her ex-boyfriend because he wasn’t strong enough, she hated her friends for being fake. As she spoke, she would laugh nervously every 30 seconds or so. This girl clearly had some personal issues and I was starting to feel sorry for her, I think it’s a coincidence that I was also getting a boner at the same time.

Reena finished her nuggets and water and told me she was feeling much better, so we took a walk down towards the bridge. As we did so the wind started to pick up and it started to rain heavily. We were walking downhill but the wind was blowing dust and rain uphill and into our faces, Reena screamed “AAAAAH WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS WEATHER?!”

“Come on you, it’s not far from here…” I gave her a piggyback and jogged with her for a couple of hundred metres until we got to the bar, it was quite easy as she weighed about 45 kgs.

We got inside a Serbian rock bar which had a live band playing music that sounded very similar to Classic American rock but with Serbian Lyrics. I got the drinks in and we watched the band as we did more comfort. I really liked the band and tried to educate Reena as each song ripped off Led Zepplin, Jimi Hendrix, Pink Floyd and others, but she didn’t give a monkeys and told me she wanted to dance. We finished off the drinks and went across the road to a more clubby open air bar. It was around midnight now but the bar was still relatively empty. We got a table with a couch overlooking the hole bar and carried on with our drinks. The bar then quickly filled up and it seemed that we had the best seats in the house. It didn’t take long for me to go for the kiss and when I did, she was ravenous. The conversation quickly got very sexual, I asked what crazy stuff she gets up to and she unlocked her phone to show me some pictures. There was one of her on top of a mountain where she is posing topless but had covered her nipples for Instagram with flower emoticons. However, she accidently swiped to the original picture which showed off her glorious little boobies in all of their perty glory. Reena told me that she doesn’t like wearing bras and often flashes her boobs for fun. “Definitely not girlfriend material, this one” Thought me.

Reena couldn’t keep her hands off me and was biting my lips, neck and even my cheeks as she kissed and pawed at me, people in the bar were staring at us.

“Right, let’s go before you get us kicked out of here” Said me.

“OK, but where are we going?”

“I’ve got some wine at home, let’s go have a glass”

“But then we will just end up fucking!!”


“OK, OK”

It was now around 1am and the storm had passed so we strolled back to my place. There was no need for wine or more comfort, I put on some music and the clothes were straight off. The sex was VERY good, her body was lovely – a peachy little ass, tiny waist and large boobs for her size. Her small size made it easy to do all sorts of positions and we went at it for a good couple of hours before I finally gave in to exhaustion. At around 3am she asked if I would walk her back to her hostel to which I agreed. When we got there, she asked me to come in and fuck her again.

“Do you have your own room?” Said me.

“No, I’m sharing with 8 other guys”

“Uuuuhm, no thanks, but I’ll come in for a glass of water”

She walked us to the kitchen and no-one was around except the security guard who was passed out sleeping in the hallway. Renna jumped up onto the counter and we started kissing again. I tried to bang her right there but as I went to put it in, she pushed me straight out “No, you need to wear a condom!” I’d used my only two with her earlier. I relented, pulled her down from counter and pushed her down to her knees to finish me off with her mouth. The security guard didn’t even flinch in his chair.

I quite liked this girl despite the issues that she needs to sort out. She’s funny, cute and great in bed but clearly a bit of a loose cannon. I liked her so much that I even met her for dinner the next day (after losing an LMR battle with a Turkish 20 year old feminist) and I MAY even go visit her in Vienna.

Lay Report: Finally, an American


On Sunday I returned from pussy paradise empty handed for the first time ever, shock, horror! It’s a place I usually do well, but for whatever reason, nothing came through this time. The misery was compounded further by my wing Xants, who after getting his plus 1 early on in the trip, was not able to control his cat that got the cream grin for the rest of it. But that’s a story for another post.

The previous night I was up drinking and watching It’s always sunny in Philadelphia with Xants until 4am getting around 3 hours kip in before heading off for the airport at 8am. I returned home in a tired, hungover mess with my tail tucked firmly between my legs at around 2pm. I felt like shit but I really didn’t want to sit in the apartment moping, especially since it was such a beautiful day outside, summer seemed to have arrived in London. I pinged Xants and he reluctantly agreed to join me for a cheeky session.

We met up on Argyll street at 3pm and made our way South whilst trying to drum up some vibe, but both were struggling from the exertions of the previous 10 days. In my head I was just happy to be outside and any sets would be a bonus.

As we were approaching Picadilly Xants spotted some skirt in a skirt and ran after it. I loitered nearby whilst he accused her of being a hamster when that all too familiar spider sense tingle tingled in my bones. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a short brunette crossing the road to walk away from me. I hadn’t seen her face but she wore a black beret, a black boob tube, black short shorts and black doc martins. It was worth further investigation.

I got in front and delivered my spiel, I can’t remember what my opener was, but she liked it whatever it was. Turned out Stacey was visiting from America for a few days on a business trip and was on her way to Buckingham Palace to see the Queen. Her family came from Asian decent but she was very Californian. It was a quite a quick set but it felt on, her eye contact was strong and she touched me a couple of times as I popped a few jokes, this was a yes girl and I knew it very early on. I tried for the idate but she was insisting on going to see the Queen.

OK, OK, you do that and we can go for a beer when your finished.

OK sounds good, where?

There’s a pub just up there, we’ll meet there.

What’s it called?

I have no idea, my brain is not working today – I couldn’t remember the name of it despite having been there loads of times. I took her number and we went our separate ways. I returned to a bewildered Xants as he had no idea where I’d ran off to;

Think I’ve got a date in an hour, if she turns up I’ll probably bang her.


What’s the name of that pub we always go to near the whole foods?

The glassblower!

I pinged Stacey the name of the pub to receive only 1 tick on whatsapp, she hadn’t been online since the morning. BALLS. I sweated for the next hour as I walked around, what felt like a nailed on notch was slipping away as she didn’t seem to have data on her phone. Eventually she came back to me and we agreed to meet in the pub at 5.30pm.

I got there bang on time and there was no sign of Stacey. I bought myself a pint of Peroni and stood outside the bar in the Sun. She arrived 15 minutes late.

I got her a pint of cider and we sat on the stools tucked in the corner to the side of the entrance, if you’re ever in this bar it’s a great spot as it feels like your own little part of the bar that no-one can enter.

We turned our stools to face each other with knees touching. Stacey apologised for being late and explained how two other guys had approached her since I did a couple of hours previous. One of them was creepy and the other guy (an “Asian” guy called Ash) was cool, but I was more handsome and charming. These type of things never happen in LA said Stacey and she wished that they would, she admired the bravery.

I thanked her and gave the usual spiel of how it’s so much better than online dating, she gave me the usual questions, do you this all the time? are you some sort of player? However the vibe was different, it wasn’t shit testy, it was as if she WANTED me to say yes. Then Stacey dropped what she thought would be a bombshell;

I feel like I probably should have told you this earlier but…

You’re a virgin?!

hahaha noooo – punches me on the arm

I have a boyfriend back in LA so I probably shouldn’t be here.

Well, I don’t mind.

It’s just you seem so fun and interesting, I wanted to find out more about you.

This was all within the first couple of sips. She offered up token resistance but I knew it was in the bag, all I had to do was not fuck it up.

We carried on with the comfort fluff, I found out Stacey was 24, was in London to secure some sort of deal for her company and was staying in a top end hotel in Leciester Square. I avoided asking about her boyfriend entirely. Towards the end of our drink I asked…

What are you doing now?

I’m free, wanna hang out a little longer?

OK, but I know a better place, let’s go for a walk.


As we got outside the weather had taken a turn for the worse, the sky was grey and the air was gusting, it felt like it was about to rain and my place was a 20 minute walk away. We started walking up Regent street as she was rambling on about something. I saw a black cab with a yellow light on the opposite side of the road, stuck my hand out and the cab pulled over. I grabbed Stacey’s hand and pulled her across the road with me…

Youuuuu’re CRAZY, you’re gonna get us killed hahaha

We hopped in the cab and she curled up in ball against my shoulder whilst giggling away.

Marylebone High Street mate. Said me.

I probably could have taken her straight home and she wouldn’t have objected. But I hadn’t kissed her yet and I felt like another beer so we alighted at the pub across the road from my house. I got the drinks and pointed Stacey in the direction of the couch whilst I paid. She obeyed.

As soon as I sat down beside her I pulled her in for the kiss and she almost melted into me. She moaned and rubbed at my chest.

Ohhhh damn

What’s wrong?

I don’t think I can drink with you anymore.


Can we go back to my hotel?!

Oh… that’s miles away, I only live across the road.

Oh, haha you’re clever.

Nah, it’s just a coincidence.

We finished our drinks and went back to mine. There were some awkward introductions with Ricky Roma (who was in a t-shirt and boxers) and his girlfriend in the kitchen. I hadn’t seen them in two weeks so Ricky quickly switched from “how was your trip?!” to “and who’s this?”.

Eventually I got Stacey into my room and the clothes quickly came off (no guitar serenade or comfort building chit chat necessary) and I banged her raw-dog. The sex was amazing mainly because Stacey was a very sexual girl and liked to make noises, this always makes me cum quickly and I did.

The most interesting part of this lay is probably what happened afterwards. It was only approaching 8pm after we put ourselves back together so I invited Stacey out for a romantic dinner at the burger place around the corner. She agreed to join.

I ordered a bottle of red and we both ate burgers. Stacey started to open up as we did so. She told me that she’d been with her boyfriend for four years, she really really likes him and so do all her friends and family. He is her BEST FRIEND. But there’s no passion, no fire, no arguments and the sex is boring. She wished that he could fuck her like I just did.

What should I do?

Tell me more about this guy.

He’s 28, a bit of a nerd but really friendly and funny.

How many women has he been with?

I think only one before me.

There’s your problem right there.

Why, how many have you been with?

I’ve had my fair share.


Closer to double.

I’m not surprised… so what should I do?

Honestly? I think you’re wasting your time with him. You’re not getting any younger and your looks will only decline with the years.

But, but, I have some Asian in me, they stay young forever.

There’s a chance this guy will change, but to do that he needs to be single. He needs to face up to the harsh reality of the world and learn that being the nice guy might get the girl, but it certainly won’t keep her. You are holding each other back.

OMG!! That makes so much sense.

We chatted for another hour or so before we went back to her swanky hotel and I banged her again and again into the night, she couldn’t get enough and neither could I after a very frustrating Eurojaunt.

So I went all the way to America and didn’t get the American flag, I went on a Eurojaunt and didn’t get laid and then the day I get back to London I FINALLY get the American flag. The complete randomness of daygame is one of the few things that keeps me in it.

Lay Report: SDL with a Russian Stunner

Not far off.

I haven’t been doing much game lately, life has been getting in the way at exactly the wrong time of year. But I did get myself on the streets on Friday evening and out of nowhere I banged one of the hottest girls I’ve ever banged with minimal effort. As a friend said to me afterwards, this is what happens when high skill meets a lot of luck…

After a long day at work I’d finally got myself onto the streets at around 7.30pm. The sun was shining and my vibe was good despite having spent most of the day commuting. I popped off my first set on Oxford street and closed a feisty little Italian girl only to have another daygamer open her straight after me to intentionally sabotage my set. That’s that one dead thought me, I’ll just have to find some more.

On I went, opening another two girls but getting no joy. I quickly got thirsty, so I pinged Mr. White to see if he fancied a beer. We met on Carnaby, got a drink and fished at our usual spot. There wasn’t much about so we got to talking about Euro Jaunts and how much we missed Russian girls. Our friend, Mr. S had recently banged a Russian NINE and had another hot Russian that he’d been on a few dates with.

“Where is he finding all these Russians?! I haven’t met any lately” protested Mr. White.

“No idea mate – he must be paying them” I reasoned.

At around 10pm Mr White was as responsible as ever and departed for home. I wasn’t ready to go home just yet. As he got on the tube I spotted a slutty looking blonde girl dressed all in black with knee high boots, she was a high 6 at best but looked bored.

“I’m gonna open that whore over there” Said me as Mr White descended the steps at Oxford circus.

Turned out this girl had been waiting for a “friend” for almost an hour. I spoke to her for a good 20 minutes trying to persuade her to come for a drink with me then just as she was coming round to the idea, a big black guy arrived and gave her a kiss on the cheek before pulling her away from me. BALLS.

It was now around 10.30pm. I popped off another couple of sets only to get quick blow outs. Time to go home. I ducked into Wasabi to get some food before doing so. I sat at the window and devoured a katsu chicken salad whilst listening to Youtube videos on my Bluetooth headphones. A guy to my right tapped me on the shoulder…

“Excuse me, where did you get your headphones? They look really cool, were they expensive?” Asked the gentleman.

As he was speaking to me my spider sense tingled, I saw a pink silhouette with a ponytail in the reflection in the window…

“Amazon mate, Amazon, they’re only cheap, around 40 quid” I explained.

I turned my back to get a proper look at the girl in pink behind me. HOLY FUCK, a proper stunner had just walked in on her own, she browsed the remaining items on the bare shelves before turning to walk back out again.

“Oh, can you send me the link?” asked the gentleman.

“I’m sorry mate, I gotta go!” said me as I quickly got up, threw my rubbish in the bin and ran out the door after the girl in pink. I looked left and right frantically searching. She was walking very slowly in the direction of Selfridges, I didn’t have to chase very fast.

I sauntered over to her;

“Excuuuuuuuuuse me, this may sound a little cheeky, BUT, I saw you in the shop there and I thought you looked veeeeeery pretty. I had to say hello….”

“ooooh thank you” she cooed.

Sasha had brunette hair tied up in a ponytail, she was slightly shorter than me, had big green eyes, high cheek bones and full pink lips. She wore what looked like expensive clothing – a bright pink leather jacket, a white boob tube which showed off her washboard abs, tight yellow pants and a pair of expensive trainers. I knew instantly that she was Russian, a solid 8.

“there’s no way you’re from around here, Eastern European?”

“No… well kind of”

“Definitely not Russian”

“Yes I am, I’m from Moscow”

“I knew it, I’ve spent some time there. I didn’t like it if I’m honest, St. Petersburg is a much prettier city”

“I agree, but my work is in Moscow”

Sasha was practically purring as she stood there with her legs crossed.

“so what is a pretty girl like yourself doing walking the streets at 11pm?”

“Walking, I like to walk at night, it’s more peaceful”

“I see, I was about to go home, but I have a better idea…”

“What is that?”

“Let’s go for a drink!”

Sasha hesitated for a couple of seconds…

“OK, where?”

“Well this is Westminster, most places are closed now, let me check my phone to see if this place up the road is open”

I pulled out google maps to check what time the Lamb and Flag pub was closing – midnight. Thank fuck.

“Great, there’s a place just up the road”

As we got to the pub Sasha told me she only drank alcohol on special occasions. It showed, her figure was very athletic.

“This is definitely a special occasion”.

We got a glass of red wine each and sat at stools in the window. I found out Sasha was only in London for the weekend and staying in a posh hotel down the road. She was originally from Siberia, worked as some sort of administrator for a big oil company in Moscow and was a gym freak. She loved to travel and London was her favourite city in the world, this was her 7th or 8th time visiting.

Sasha didn’t have a strong Russian accent; she was having lessons to get rid of it.

“Why would you do such a thing? The Russian accent is hot!”

“I don’t like it. I’ve been told I’m an angel phone”

“A what?”

“Oh, maybe I’m not saying it right, I like everything British”

“Ooooh you mean an Anglophobe!”

“hahaha, yes that”

We exchanged travel stories for around 30 minutes before the bar called last orders and told us it was time to leave. We stepped out of the bar.

“What are you doing now?”

“I don’t know, maybe some more walking”

“OK, let’s walk this way”

I walked us in the direction of my apartment and she didn’t ask where we were going. When we got to the front door I offered her to come in for one last drink.


Sasha took her shoes off on entry without being asked, I quickly took my boots off and poured her a glass of water and myself a glass of wine.

I showed her to the bedroom, she took her jacket off and sat herself down on the couch with an expectant look on her face. I still hadn’t escalated.

I picked up my guitar and played a couple of tunes… Sasha stared at me as I played, enjoying it but her eyes screaming “Will you just fuck me already?!” at the same time.

I put the guitar down, put some music on and moved over to her on the couch. I grabbed her by the throat as I sat down beside her and pulled her in for the first kiss. There was no resistance and she was moaning as the tension in the air dissipated. My hands roved all around her tight body. I picked her up and threw her on the bed. Soon all our clothes were off and I was licking out her soaking wet vagina whilst fingering her. As I looked up I could only admire her near perfect body writhing around as I did so.

“Fuck me!” begged sasha as she grabbed my rock-hard cock and pushed it into her rawdowg.

I came after about 2 minutes; this was easily the hottest girl I’d banged this year. I rolled off her in a sweaty mess and gave her the debrief when I recovered my breath. Sasha told me that she’d decided the sex was on when we were sat in the bar. There was no particular thing I said, she just liked listening to my stories.

It was now around 2am and we had sex for another two hours, I came two more times, the last in her mouth after face fucking her hard. The sight of her gagging on my dick as my cum dripped down her face is one I won’t forget in a hurry.

Sasha got an uber back to her hotel at around 4am. I met up with her the next evening and took her to a blues bar before taking her back for round 4. She’s a very sweet and feminine girl, one which I will hopefully keep on rotation as she visits often. Only in daygame is it possible to get this calibre of girl.







Lay Report: Another SDL

Identical – they all look the same, right?

Let’s get one thing straight – I’m not in daygame to bang Asians. But if a hot enough one makes it this easy, I will oblige. This was a quick and easy lay and the report will follow suit…

It was the last Saturday of March and I’d been out daygaming all day. It was my best session of the year so far in terms of quality of sets – from 12 approaches I got 7 contact details, this is despite being horribly hungover from the previous evenings’ debauchery [1]. Xants and I were on our last lap of Oxford street headed in the direction of the pub for a well-earned beer.

As we were walking East down Oxford street a tallish Asian girl was headed in our direction. She wore a black leather jacket, black top and a black flowy dress – a high 6/low 7. As she got closer she glanced in my direction but the glance soon turned into a stare. Xants noticed it as well and said “Mate, that’s a huge IOI!”. I reluctantly made chase given that I was really looking forward to a pint with the lads.

I opened and she hooked instantly, almost as if she was relieved that I spoke to her. Vicky was only in London for the weekend and was from Shanghai, I asked what she was up to for the evening and she told me that she had no plans, just exploring London. The same day lay was on and I wasn’t that excited about it – she was Asian and I wanted a beer. I decided to push for it as fast as possible…

OK, let’s go for a drink now, I know a nice place just up here

Oh ok

It was just before 8pm when I opened and we sat down for a drink in the lamb and flag at around 8.15pm. I got a glass of red wine and Vicky had a G&T. We sat beside each other on stools. I did comfort for about 5 mins before asking why she was single. I started talking about my career as a failed rock star (true-ish story) and Vicky was very interested. She loved rock music and asked if she could hear me play guitar. I told her I didn’t live far away so she could come back and see.

But weren’t you on your way to meet friends?

I was, but I can meet them later.

This is crazy, we just met!

Life is short Vicky, sometimes you need to live a little.

OK, let’s go.

I finished my glass of wine and drank most of her G&T before leading her out the door. I walked her in the direction of my apartment and we were at the front door by around 9pm.

Come in, you can leave if you feel uncomfortable

Oh ok

As she took her shoes off I could hear noise from the living room (adjacent to my bedroom), it was Ricky and his girlfriend. I did quick awkward introductions…

This is Vicky… she’s uuuuhm, aaaaah, friend.

And moved her to the bedroom before any questions were asked. As Vicky made herself comfortable on my bed I could hear Ricky and his girl switching the TV off and vacating the living room – they knew what was coming.

I strummed the guitar for a song or two just to give Vicky some plausible deniability – even though she had zero, this little slut knew exactly what she was doing.

I put the guitar down and she pushed me away at the first kiss attempt. Surprising.

I stood her up and we did a slow dance to the music I’d put on. I went for the kiss again, this time she was all in. The clothes came off to reveal that she had a spectacularly big pair of titties for an Asian girl. I queried their authenticity and Vicky confirmed that they were indeed real, I didn’t believe her, so I buried my face in them to see for myself – they were real.

Vicky insisted I wore a condom and the sex was fast. As I rolled over onto my back after smashing her from behind I glanced at my watch – 9.24pm. Approach to lay in under 90 minutes, I think that’s my fastest yet.

I let her rest for 6 minutes before announcing that I had to go back to meet my friends. We both got dressed and jumped in the tube at Baker street and went separate directions. I was back in the pub with the lads by 10pm. I never heard from Vicky again.



1 – Banged a two set with Xants in their hotel room. I’ll probably write a post on this.

Lay Report: Give Up

Not this hot. 

It was 10pm on a cold and windy Saturday night in New York City and my flight back to London was at 9am the next morning. I had all but given up the ghost trying to get laid having endured a miserable 10 days in the concrete jungle where dreams are crushed. I’d spoken to over 100 girls [1] in that time and only had one date from daygame which ended in a near miss, I couldn’t catch a break. But then I caught two within 30 minutes of each other…

Mr Arrgh and I had spent the afternoon in the Uptown area visiting an old Irish friend of mine. We decided to take the metro back to the usual hunting grounds of East Village and Soho for some last minute bar/gutter game at around 9pm. When we were on the subway I spotted an older (early to mid-thirties) blonde girl in brown heeled cowboy boots, tight blue denim jeans, a white boob tube which showed off a bit of stomach and cleavage and a brown fur coat. She looked filthy, I turned to Mr Arrgh – “If she gets off at the same stop as us, I’m opening”.

The moon and the stars aligned as we all departed at the same time, I followed her as she swayed her hips with every step up the stairs, she was horny. When we got to street level I waited for her to cross the road and then jumped in front. It was a very busy intersection and lots of people looked on as I did so…

Excuuuuuuse me young lady! I just had to tell you that I love this outfit, you look like a feisty little bear, it’s hot. – Not the most imaginative opener, but it didn’t matter.

One bystander, a young girl stood to my right couldn’t contain her excitement, as she watched on…

Oh My GOOOOOD, that is soooooo cute! Why does that never happen to me?!

The cougar burst out laughing before calling over to the other girl;

I know, this guy’s got some balls, right?! – She still hadn’t spoken to me.

When things calmed down the cougar asked me how long I was in town for. I told her I was leaving the next morning and pushed for the idate, however she was already on her way to a date with another guy.

This is a real shame, you’re hot! I would definitely go on a date with you if you were here longer.

I have an idea, we can meet up later if your date is not going well.

OK sure, you have Instagram?

We exchanged instagrams and went our separate ways. Mr Arrgh and I carried on walking and soon after a cute girl walked towards us, she had one of those big puffy Canada Goose coats on and was listening to music on her airpods.

Excuuuuse me, you look very happy, you’re practically dancing down the street!

Haha thank you, yes I listen to this happy music. – She took off her airpods and put them in my ears, it sounded like a cross between Arabic and Irish folk.

That is definitely not American and neither is your accent.

No, I’m from Azerbaijan [2] but living here now.

Margret was very chatty and had a spaced-out vibe about her. I found out that she had been living in New York for 10 years, worked for the UN and did a lot of yoga. At that moment in time I was guessing she was mid to late 20’s and I’d put her as a low 7 [3]. Margret was on her way home after having dinner with her friends…

Boring! I have a better idea, let’s go for a drink right now!

Oh, ok, why not!

I bounced her to the closest bar and got us both a drink. It was crowded and noisy so I told her to drink up quickly. We took a long walk (around 20 mins) to a bar close to my apartment. On the way I spun out a story about an episode of black mirror in which a girl spikes a guys drink after inviting him back to her apartment and kills him [4], thus framing her as the dangerous one and me the innocent.

At around midnight we reached a bar called Clockwork, a grotty 24-hour dive bar, my favourite sort of place. I motioned Margret towards a couch whilst I got a couple of drinks in. When I was at the bar I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. It was the cougar, she’d messaged to say that her date was bad, she was on her way home and that I should come that way. I’d gone from barely having a sniff all trip to being booty called whilst being a whisker away from a SDL with another girl. Fuck my life. What to do? Obviously, I decided I would try and do both…

I escalated quickly and we were kissing within 10 minutes. Soon after I suggested another walk, along the way I stopped to buy a bottle of wine, she didn’t ask why I was doing so, she knew what was happening.

We got into the apartment, I demanded she take her shoes off and we went straight to the bedroom. The clothes were off quickly and I was anticipating some well deserved wild sex. I went to stick it in raw dog, I got two strokes [5] in before she jumped off and told me that she was a virgin. I laughed at her, there was no way she was a virgin, I’d have felt her hymen break. I played along and told her she wasn’t a virgin anymore, she insisted she was. I didn’t care, I had my notch as far as I was concerned. I pushed her head down to my dick and she kindly finished me off with her mouth.

I told her she needed to leave shortly afterwards as my friend (Mr Arrgh) was coming to sleep on my couch so I walked her back to the subway. It was now around 2.30am, I’d have to be up at 5am to pack and get to the airport on time for my flight. I decided I wasn’t going to sleep, I pinged the cougar and told her I was coming, and then 1 minute later I messaged her again telling her that I wasn’t coming. I figured she was probably sleeping by now as she last messaged me more than 2 hours ago and it would be a better idea to get some rest.

I walked myself to a Mexican takeaway place for a victory burrito, went home and filled Mr Arrgh in on the evening’s events. Then at 4am I made the wise decision to have a power nap and get up at 5am for my 9am flight. I set three alarms on my phone to make triple sure I’d wake up and drifted off to sleep. Of course, I slept through all three alarms, waking up at 8.30am to look at my phone. FUUUUUUCK. I awoke in a panic and then quickly realised there wasn’t much I could do about it now, so I rolled back over, went to sleep and paid for another flight that evening when I awoke.

So there you go kids – the best way to get laid in New York is to give up. All that never give up stuff is a load of bollocks. And yes, I’m a retard.





1 – Daygame and bargame. I’ll summarise the trip in another post.

2 – New flag.

3 – It was dark and I’d had a couple of beers. I met her the next day for coffee to give back her ear rings she’d left on my bedside table. She was a 6.

4 – The episode is called White Christmas, I reference it a lot on dates.

5 – Minimum number required as per PUA standard set by Krauser

Lay Report: Mysterious Eritrean

Fridays evenings are very hit and miss for the old daygaming. Usually my vibe isn’t on point as I’ve typically been sat in front of a screen all day without speaking to any humans. I’m usually tired from the week and my urge to sack it off and go to the pub is overpowering. Most girls are in groups and are either in a hurry to get home and doll themselves up before hitting the town, or they’re on their way out. But, sometimes, just sometimes there is a solo girl wandering around begging to be SDL’d (Exhibit A).  This is not one of those stories…

Friday 22 February

I was solo and I’d been blown out 6 times from the previous 7 sets  – the pub was calling. As I stood outside M&S having just relieved my bladder I pinged the lads to see who was up for a pint. Of course Mr S and Xants were well keen. As I put my phone away and started to make my way to Carnaby street I saw a short little black girl with curly hair dressed all in black perched against the wall with her head in her phone.

Exhibit B

My taste in women seems to change with the seasons. For me, a woman of any colour can be hot and if she’s hot enough I will open. At that moment in time my cravings for a black girl were reaching jungle fever pitch levels – I hadn’t had one in 6 months!

As I opened her head lifted slowly from her phone and she gazed at me as I ran through the prattle. Something about her looking like she could be one of the backing singers in a 60’s motown band. She didn’t react and carried on staring at me as if she was trying to see into my soul.

Can you speak?

What? Oh, yeah, of course.

You seemed to be in a daze.

haha maybe I’m still jet lagged, I only arrived from Australia a couple of days ago.

Oh I assumed you were English.

Lisa told me she was from Melbourne and had travelled to London in search of a job so that she could realise her dreams and explore all of Europe with London as her base. Sounded familiar. We had a lot in common and chatted for a good ten minutes before she told me she had to go meet her friend. I took her number and we went our separate ways.

Later that evening I sent the feeler – she read it and didn’t reply. BALLS.

A few days later I sent her a photo ping of me in the gym. She sent me 4 messages in a row apologising for not replying and asking how I was. LIVE LEAD!

I offered up Thursday or Friday for the date and she chose Friday. Always a good sign if a girl is giving up her Friday night for you.

Friday 1 March

We met at Baker street station and she was 15 minutes late. I actually thought she was flaking as she wasn’t much of a texter, she didn’t use emoticons and took 24 hours to reply.

Lisa looked great – black heeled boots, black fishnet tights, a red miniskirt, a black blouse showing off just the right amount of cleavage and a brown furry coat. I took her to the usual two venues, first a pub and second a speakeasy.

I found out Lisa was 24 and wasn’t from Australia, she’d only been living there since she was 13, this explained her darker complexion. I prodded some more and she asked me to guess where she was from, telling me that I’d never get it. “Challenge accepted!” said a smug me, having spent a long time in Africa myself. I went through all the big countries; South Africa – No, Nigeria – No, Zimbabwe? – No, Congo? -No!, Cameroon? – No.

OK, I give up, just tell me


Say what now?


It’s a country? – I’d genuinely never heard of it.

Lisa had an aloofness about her and seemed to know what she wanted from life – a rare quality in a young girl. She didn’t do social media, didn’t like texting and had never done online dating. She told me that she had never been in a relationship and wasn’t looking for one. She had only ever been on three dates.

So you’re a virgin?

What do you think?

I guess I’ll have to wait and see.

I got her back to the flat that night and was kissing her on my bed, I went to rub her vagina over the top of her tights and felt a pad…

It’s not your lucky day.

Damn! Which day is it?


I could always put a towel down.


Her drunk friend rang her shortly afterwards and she jumped in an uber to go meet her. I had no idea if I’d see her again.

I pinged her the following Sunday and she was still keen so we agreed to meet the following Thursday. On Wednesday she sent me a link to a bar in Covent Garden asking if I’d been there. I told her I hadn’t but I could see where this was going, she knew where I lived and wanted to meet far away from my place. I told her I might take her there some time.

Thursday 7 March 

Around lunch time I text her telling her that I’d meet her at Bond street station, ignoring her suggestion. We agreed on 7.30pm.

At 7pm she text me a google maps location to another bar telling me that she was having a drink with a friend. She was trying to take the frame again and I was preparing for a long night ahead. I checked where it was on the map and it was actually quite close to my apartment – “OK, I’m running late, I’ll be there closer to 8pm.”

I arrived at the place to find that it was a very nice wine bar, she had inadvertently found a new date venue for me. Lisa was sat on a high stool alongside her friend. I approached them both from behind, stood between them and tapped Lisa on the shoulder.

Heeeeey! How are ya?!

Lisa introduced me to her friend who was a proper Australian.

Ah you sound way more Australian than her. – I gave Lisa another tap on the shoulder.

Born and raised! Anyway, I gotta go, I’ll leave you two lovebirds to it!

Her friend upped and left and I took her stool and ordered some wine. We caught up on the weeks events and I’d noticed that her hair looked different, she’d straightened it. I ran my hands through it, pulled her in towards me and took a sniff.

Ah coconut, I like it.

Hey! Don’t pull my hair!

You don’t like having your hair pulled?

Well, it depends on the situation – Lisa had a mischievous smile.

Ah I see, so like if you fell down a ditch and I pulled you back out with your hair?

Yeah, I guess that would be one situation.

You wanna be careful, there’s lots of ditches around here.

Lisa laughed and punched me on the arm. It was on. I walked her to another basement bar near my apartment and we sat alongside each other on a couch. There was lots of kissing and she could barely keep her hands off me. As we finished our first glass of wine I suggested we go for a walk (back to mine).

OK, but I need the bathroom, can you wait here a sec?


I sat there waiting for half an hour! Was she drunk? Was she being sick? Was she taking a massive dump? Had she run out the back door? I discounted the last one as her coat and hand bag were still with me. As I was about to ask the waitress to go into the bathroom to check on her, she emerged and didn’t offer up any explanation or apologies.

Did you fall down the toilet?!

What? No.

What took you so long?

I just needed to breathe.

You feeling ok?

Yeah, I’m fine!

You want to go home?


It was odd. I walked us to my place anyway and she came in. Lisa told me she was starving and hadn’t eaten all day. I cooked her some toast and a cup of tea and we chatted nonsense in the kitchen for about an hour. It was now pushing midnight and I had to be up for work in the morning.

I took her to the bedroom and the clothes came off quickly before she said “Where’s your condom?” – The sex was weird. She liked kissing a lot which was nice given that she had big juicy lips but she didn’t like it when I was rough and wouldn’t let me bang her doggy, she also refused to suck my dick. I blew a load into the condom and we lay there chatting for a few minutes. I attempted the usual debrief but she gave me nothing – she refused to answer when I asked her the last time she’d had sex, how many times she had sex or when she decided to have sex with me. I was intrigued, but one thing was for sure, she definitely wasn’t a virgin.

We went at it again for about an hour, raw dog this time, but I couldn’t cum again. We both collapsed in a sweaty mess at around 02:00. I forgot to set an alarm and woke up at around 08:30, the lights were still on and the music was still playing on my laptop. I woke her up and told her she needed to leave. Lisa ordered an uber and was gone by 08:45. I have no idea whether I’ll see her again.






Lay Report: Another Turk

This girl is very similar neck down, mine had a big tooty smile.

I collected my third daygame notch [1] of the year and 64th of my players journey last weekend. Only 36 to go [2] before I take up my pew in Mount Olympus along side Zeus, Apollo, Poseidon and co. I’m most looking forward to hanging out with Dionysus, the god of wine – he seems a proper baller [3]. But I digress, here’s another story…

8 February 2019

It was a Friday evening and there wasn’t much about on the streets. I was out with one of my original wings from Dublin. We were walking down Carnaby when I spotted a short brunette throw an IOI my way as we got to the bottom of the street. She wasn’t stunning – dressed quite plain but with a pretty face and nice curves, a low 7. “Aaaah fuck it”. In I went.

Sara was Turkish, had moved to London a few months back for an internship and was on her way to meet some friends for dinner. It was quite a fizzy set and towards the end I threw an old school neg at her and she bit hard;

You are pretty, I like your big brown eyes, you could get lost in them… but you should get rid of the resting bitch face, you’d be much prettier and more guys would approach you – She’d already told me this was so strange for her.

Hahaha, I don’t have a resting bitch face! I’m normally smiling, I’m fun, you’ll see!

I guess you will have to prove that me, Sara.

I took her number and we agreed to meet another time. As I walked back to rejoin my friend I told him I had a very good feeling about that one.

15 February 2019

After some back and forth over text I got her out the following Friday. We met at Baker street, she turned up on time looking much prettier than when we’d met on the street wearing tight black jeans and a tight white top which made her big breasts almost jump out at me, they were hard not to stare at.

I took her to the pub and she gave me a full on interrogation; how often do you do this? why don’t you just do tinder like everyone else? how old are you? why are you single? are you some sort of player? It felt as if all girls were given the same script in their girl game manual, not us, the PUA’s. I swatted the same questions away with the same answers – but it was unusual to get them all one after the other without us barely touching our drinks. As we walked to the next venue she announced…

OK the interrogation is over now, you can relax.

Oh thanks! But can I? How do I know you’re not a serial killer?

We got a couch in the next place and I ordered us a bottle of wine. The conversation flowed and we were soon kissing. Afterwards I walked us to the front door of my apartment and she wobbled. As I walked in the front door she just stood there…

I can’t do this – not tonight.

I grabbed her hand and tried to pull her inside assuring her that she could leave if she felt uncomfortable.

No – I should go home.


I walked her back to the tube and as I went to kiss her goodbye…

Come with me.

To your place?

Just come with me.

I wasn’t sure if she just wanted me to walk her to her front door, or if she wanted me to come to her place and I’m sure her subconscious kept this detail sketchy on purpose – so I forced her off the fence…

Where do you live?

4 stops away.

I’ll come if you invite me in when we get there.

You know what, never mind.


As she walked off I wasn’t sure if I’d made the right move. Did I just burst the bubble and pass up a notch? Or was she just trying to tool me so that she would have company on her tube ride home? I slept on it and when I woke up I was sure it was the former.

Friday 22 February 2019

I got her back out the following Friday. Sara had been ill all week and told me that she had just about recovered. We met at 8pm at Bond Street this time and when she turned up I was not impressed. She was dressed very casually in trainers, jeans, a jumper and a big coat. Straight away she told me that she still wasn’t 100 % and was feeling tired.

We had agreed over text to go for food, something I never normally do, but I’d agreed on the basis that this would just be a time filler until she felt more comfortable to bang on the next date. I walked us to the nearest honest burger and when we sat down I ordered a beer and she declared that she wasn’t drinking. FUCK! I wrote the lay off fully now. Despite this, I enjoyed hanging out with her and constantly took the piss out of her without her realising until it was too late. For example, after she took 10 minutes to chose a burger from the very limited menu I asked her if she thought she was a decisive person…

Yes, I’m very decisive! Well, sometimes… I guess it depends.

I looked at her as if to say “Really?” and she packed up laughing after she’d realised what she’d just said. I went on to explain to her why men climb the corporate ladder faster than women and deserved to get paid more as a result. At first she was outraged by my “sexist, chauvinistic opinions”, but by the end of the meal she was agreeing with me.

As we finished our food I text my flat mate asking if he was keen to go for a few beers, this wasn’t going anywhere and it was Friday night after all. I paid the bill (£30) as Sara had paid the bill at the speakeasy (£50!) the previous week and we left the restaurant. I went to walk her back to the tube and she asked where we were going.

Well you’re not feeling well, I assumed you were going home and I’ll just go meet my mates.

No! Let’s go for a glass of wine.

Oh – OK. – Clearly I’d gotten the wrong end of the stick.

I walked her in the direction of my apartment and she must have been conscious of this as she had been to my front door the previous week. We stopped off at a bar not far from my place and sat beside each other on a couch. Annoyingly she happened to know a couple of girls on the table sat next to us and so she spoke with them for the first five minutes… I called it out early on…

How am I supposed to kiss you now with your friends sat right next to us?!

You’ll just have to be discrete, won’t you!

I got the wine in and she took her jumper off to reveal her impressive boobage, I wanted to motor boat them. The boner was instant so I pulled her in for the kiss expecting her to pull away but she was all in with tongues.

What about your friends, what will they think?!

Ah, I hardly know them, it’s fine.

Well they’ll most likely only jealous anyway.


Not much longer after this I took her home and banged her. The sex was average despite her curves in all the right places – she didn’t like it when I was rough with her and she smelled a bit as she had been working all day prior to meeting me. Odds of seeing her again – 1/10.



[1] – 5 in total including the two night game lays

[2] – my only real goal in daygame is to get to 100 by the end of 2020.

[3] – Yes. I read a book, about Greek mythology, it was fascinating. Well, it was an audio book.

Lay Report: You all look the same

1-68I was out daygaming with Xants on Sunday past and we decided to make a rare turn by Trafalgar Square. It was his turn to open and we both spotted a stunner walking slowly through the middle of the square. “THERE’S A SET!” hollered an excitable Xants. “Yes it is, you bastard!” I confirmed.

Off he skipped as I looked on with jealousy. I lurked nearby as he gave his all and it seemed to be going well. I was happy for my mate but I couldn’t help but think “I could probably be doing a much better job on that bird” thus confirming yet again that I could never bare to be a daygame coach [1]. I turned my back to Xants’ set and scanned the square once more. My spider sense tingled and out of the corner of my peripheral vision appeared a short little curvy thing walking down the steps away from me. I didn’t catch her face but she looked great from behind – about 5’5″ with long black hair down to her ass, a black leather jacket and tight black leggings which showed off a peachy little bum. It was worth closer inspection.

I got in front and was disappointed to see that she was Asian [2], I looked her up and down again before deciding that she was still a good 7. In I went and hook point was more or less instant;

Where are you from?

Ireland. – I said, after making her guess a while

Ooooooh cooooooo. – I assume she meant ‘cool’

And you, you’re obviously Asian, but your eyes are too big to be Chinese, I like them.

Ahahaha thank you! I’m from Taiwan.

Taiwan hey? I’ve never been there but I’m pretty sure that’s where my alarm clock comes from.

Ahahaha you’re funny!

Helen lived in London, was a marketing student and had just started working in Selfridges. She was on her way to meet a friend for dinner so I took her number and off she went.

I returned to an even more excitable Xants as he gave me the run-down on his set. “I think the SDL’s on mate, she’s going to the gallery then we will probably meet for a drink!”

I hadn’t seen Xants this giddy after a daygame set in well over a year. “Well done mate, she was stunning, I’m very jealous” I congratulated.

“Where’d you go anyway?” Xants asked.

“Closed some gook. Seems keen” I explained.

“ah” Offered Xants, clearly still coming down from his set.

I pinged Helen later that evening and she replied quickly so we set up a date for the next day, Monday.

We met at Baker Street station at 7pm. Helen had come straight from work dressed in black high heels, black tights, a black mini-skirt, a white shirt and a black blazer. She looked great.

I walked us to the pub across the road and to my surprise she asked for a full pint. As we sat down she took a huge gulp of the beer.

You must be thirsty!

No, I’m just very nervous, I never do this before, especially with a white man.

Ah, well relax. I don’t bite. 

Helen proceeded to ask me loads of hair dresser questions and I responded to each in turn with a wry smile on my face until she started to relax. She then asked for a favour and pulled out her phone to show me an email she’d drafted and asked me to check her English. I raised an eyebrow and asked if she thought I was giving out free English lessons.

Noooo, please, this is just very important to me and I need to send it now.

I scanned it quickly and fixed one typo, it was more or less perfect.

Your English is good, no lessons required from me!

Haha thank you.

Helen proceeded to ask me if I talked to girls in the street often and I gave her the usual spiel (better than tinder, chivalry, bla bla). She told me it happens a lot and she always gives her number to guys. This was a big red flag! Helen pulled out her phone and showed me her whatsapp… sure enough there were loads of unread messages from thirsty guys. I quickly scanned their profile pics to check if I knew any of the guys – I didn’t.

Why haven’t you replied to any of these poor guys?!

I don’t like them.

Why give them ALL your phone number?!

haha not all, but I don’t like to be rude if they are nice to me.

Just lie to them, tell them you have a boyfriend. – Sorry future Helen approachers.

Ooooh that’s a good idea! I’ll do that next time.

I bounced Helen to the same speakeasy I always take them, I had been there only a couple of days before with a different girl [3]. As we entered the host looked at Helen, then at me with contempt and said “Oh, you’re back so soon!” I asked him for the usual couch and he said I couldn’t sit there, even though the place was empty. The cock blocking white knight sat us down at a table which made it almost impossible to physically escalate. I finished my drink quickly and polished off the remainder of hers… “Let’s go!” We left after 5 minutes and I made a mental note never to go back there.

We got a couch in the bar next to mine and I ramped up the escalation fast as it was now almost 9pm and it was a school night. Within a few minutes we were kissing and she was surprisingly unreserved about doing so in public, but she did have reservations about doing it on a first date…

Wow, this is my first time on a date with a foreign guy and I NEVER kiss on the first date.

It’s perfectly normal in London, you only live once so why wait if you like the person?

I guess you’re right!

Helen was really opening up now and I was pretty certain the lay was on.

I need to tell you something.


When I was waiting for you at the tube I forgot what you looked like!

We met yesterday, how could you forget?

I don’t know, I walked over to some guy and said hi, he didn’t know who I was!


Don’t laugh, it was embarrassing! YOU WHITE GUYS ALL LOOK THE SAME TO ME!

I LOL’d for about two minutes. I wasn’t sure if she was trolling or if the irony was truly lost on her and I didn’t care to find out. A few minutes later I walked her back to my flat and she came in with no resistance. I poured some wine, played some tunes on the guitar and she watched on mouth agape.

Wow, you’re really sexy when you play the guitar, you should play that on the street, you would get more girls.

I pulled her onto the bed and we kissed heavily. Helen grabbed her wine and knocked back the full glass.

I need this, otherwise I will run out the front door!

Oh, ok.

I’ve never done this on a first date!


You have condom?!

Yes. I. Do.

After successfully navigating Helens’ relentless LMR I proceeded to smash her tight little pussy. The sex was amazing, my best ever with an Asian girl and she was fantastic at blow-jobs.

I did the usual debrief and she told me that she only decided that she wanted to fuck when I was playing the guitar. She’d only had two sexual partners before (she is 24), both long term boyfriends and my penis was by far the biggest that had ever been inside her.

As she got dressed to leave Helen asked if we could see each other again. “if you want to” I said, and I think I actually meant it, she was fun to hang out with and great in bed.

This ketchup tastes good.






[1] – Please stop asking. If you need coaching Craig Cassidy or Street Attraction are the go to guys in London and if you have a bit more to spend and are willing to travel, Nick Krauser does week long residentials in Eastern Europe.

[2] – I don’t typically open them, but if they’re hot enough I will

[3] – This girl still seems keen so hopefully is a future post

Lay Report: A cute little Filipino

Everyone loves a yes girl.

It’s been a slow start to the year, I’ve only really done one solid weekend of daygame so far. Over that weekend I did 22 sets, closing 7, I have since dated three of these and banged one of them. The other two were right little challenging princesses and both have fallen off since. The girl last night was a breeze in comparison…

Two Sundays ago I was out daygaming and my good friend Xants even took a break from his value building hibernation period to join me. It was an unseasonably warm day out and the girls were stopping much easier than the previous days as a result, my vibe was also much better for the same said reason. It was around 5pm, I’d already done my sets for the day and picked up a few numbers. I was on my way home to get ready for a date with a hot little Moldovan I closed the previous day. I stopped off at Sainsburys to get wine and other supplies and ended with a big heavy orange bag of stuff. I’d underestimated the walk home, it was a good 25 minutes and the bag was bloody heavy, did I mention that?

As I pushed my way through the crowds switching the bag from my left hand to the right hand and back every 30 seconds or so I clocked a huge IOI off a little brown girl approaching me. I thought about it for a few seconds and as she got closer….

Hey, you!

huh, me? – She looked around to see if I was talking to someone else.

Yes you! Excuse me this bag is heavy. – I put the bag down and nestled it between my legs. She stood there looking bemused.

Well, I saw you looking at me, looking at you. I was trying to decide if you were cute and you were so I thought I would say hello

HAHAHAHA, OMG that is soooo random. – This girl had clearly not been daygamed before, a rarity on Oxford street.

Turned out Elanor was from the Philippines (new flag!) and had recently moved to London for work. Elanor was about 5’3″ with long brown hair and wore a big green eskimo jacket, she had a pretty face with big brown eyes, a low 7. She’d just been for dinner with her friends and was about to head home. I could have idated her but I didn’t have time so I took her number, pinged her my name and went on my way. A few hours later she messaged me first (always a good sign) saying how random but cool it was meeting me like that. Touche.

Our logistics meant that I didn’t get her out until almost two weeks later. Elanor suggested meeting at 9.30pm last night, Thursday as she was working late and would be flying out of London the next morning. I agreed to meet her at Bond street station and didn’t have much confidence in getting the lay as we met quite far from my place and I figured she’d probably just want a quick drink and then head off to get ready for her flight.

She turned up on time and looked great, having put on a bit of make-up and wore sexier clothing. I definitely wanted to bang her.

I walked us to a pub around the corner called the Lamb and Flag. We had a couple of glasses of wine each in there as we went through the comfort fluff. For the first glass I sat opposite and the second I moved beside her on the couch. Elanor was full of nervous excitement and was always trying to crack a joke, none of them were funny but I told her I admired the fact that she was trying. I actually enjoyed hanging out with her and wasn’t too bothered if I didn’t take her home that night. Eventually I pulled her in for the kiss by pulling her right shoulder towards me, she pulled her head away hard “haha not so soon Irish man!”

A few minutes later, I pulled her neck towards me and she thrust her tongue down my throat hard. That was the switch right there and I knew it was on.

As we got toward the end of the second glass it was around 10:45pm and most places were closing. We left the bar and I started walking her in the direction of my apartment, it was a good 15 minute walk away.

Where are we going?

I know a nice place up here that should still be open. – I knew nowhere was open.

As we walked I talked nonsense, most of which I can’t remember and before we knew it we were at my front door just after 11pm.

Oh, look I live here. Come in for one more glass of wine and then you can uber home.

I don’t know, I have to be up at 6am.

One glass.

In she came. She took her shoes off without being asked as we entered the apartment. I took mine off too and poured us both a glass of wine. She walked past my bedroom door as I was in the kitchen and shouted “is this your bedroom?” I told her it was and to make herself comfortable.

When I joined her in the bedroom she was sat on my bed, I sat at my desk and put on some music. We chatted for a couple of minutes, I then joined her on the bed and pulled her in for a kiss. Moments later all our clothes were off and I was banging her raw-dog.

She stayed until around midnight before ordering her own uber home.

So easy. I agree that daygame is harder in winter, but there will always be yes girls out there.

Lay Report: Another Serb

Kinda like this except with a flat chest.

This is a rather short story about a long story… a lot of effort was expended on my part and it ended in a huge anti-climax…

Lets rewind to April this year. It was the start of daygame season and Belgrade was my first destination of the year (summarised here). It was a hot day and Xants and I had decided to go for a walk down towards the University area, one of our favourite hunting grounds. As I briefly mentioned here, I wasn’t going to do it, my calibration told me it was a bad set. She was dressed very formally, was stony faced and looked like she was in a hurry. “Just do it, trust me” – said Xants.

In I went and my calibration couldn’t have been further off. She was lovely, smiling instantly and cooing at almost everything I said. Sonja was very typically Serbian, my height, slim with dark skin, brunette hair, brown eyes and long legs, very greyhoundy. A high 7. She was dressed in formal business attire which made her look older than her 22 years. I found out she worked part-time at a law firm whilst doing her law degree and told me about her plans to do her erasmus year in London or Barcelona, she hadn’t decided which yet. Sonja was full of energy telling me that she had a passion for martial arts, reading and politics all of which gave her a very strong frame. I took her number and never got her out that trip as she was always busy.

I went back to Belgrade in May and got her out. It was only a coffee date and I never really escalated, she was trying her hardest to friend zone me, even introducing me to her brother at the end of the date and telling me I should come to her family home for dinner and meet her parents. It all felt very weird. I declined and tried to get her out for a glass of wine before I left but it never materialised. I assumed the lead was dead.

Fast forward to August and she pinged me out of the blue “Roy – I’m moving to London!! :D”. She moved to London mid-September and I thought “happy days, I’ll add her to my Winter harem”. I had a grand plan going into Winter, I’d have 3 regulars each with different qualities that I liked to prove to myself that I could hang out with girls – that plan failed spectacularly. I had a Bulgarian, a Brazilian and now a Serb. I kept the Bulgarian on for about a month before she got a boyfriend, I went on four dates with the Brazilian getting her back to the flat each time but she would always tell me “not tonight” and the Serb was proving equally difficult.

We went on 5 or 6 dates (I’ve lost count), some coffee dates, some drinks and I even took her to an expensive restaurant and didn’t get the lay. She was frustrating, I would go through periods of ignoring her messages as I was sure she was just tooling me for attention. Then the other day she messaged me saying “when are you taking me for coffee?” It was like she was using my own game against me.

I was supposed to be home in Ireland this weekend but my flight was cancelled so I had a free weekend in London. I told her we could meet Saturday afternoon at 1pm. We met at Bond Street station and went to a really good coffee shop called Flowcafe, got takeaway coffees and walked around the back streets. I walked her in the general direction of my apartment to another coffee shop. After another coffee I walked us to a shop where I bought a bottle of wine, it was now around 3pm.

Wine so early in the day, really? – Sonja offered up some futile resistance.

Come on, it’s Christmas!

My powers of persuasion proved too great and back she came for some wine. I got her into my room, dimmed the lights and soon the clothes were off and we had some pretty timid sex. I almost felt cheated, I’d invested so much time into this girl and the sex was boring at best. Is there and ideal investment/reward ratio which I had gotten very wrong with this girl? Had I become numb to banging hot girls? Or was I just “hollowed out”?

We got dressed and I told her I was going to the pub to watch the football, United were playing at 5.30pm. I thought this would scare her off but she asked if she could join and so we ended up spending the rest of the evening together and I even let her stay over. Over the course of the evening Sonja told me that I was the first non-Serbian guy that she’d had sex with and was her 6th ever partner.

I couldn’t wait to say goodbye to her the next morning but she took forever getting showered and doing her make-up. I helped pack up all her things and usher her out the door. I was a gentleman as ever and walked her back to the tube and the relief was huge when I eventually said goodbye to her – I’m clearly still terrible at hanging out with girls.



Lay Report: Best laid plans

Similar but my girl was flat chested.

In my last post I mentioned that I had went to Prague to relax and see an old flame. Well, said flame extinguished herself on my arrival. Before I got there she was texting me frequently and couldn’t wait to see me. We were supposed to meet the evening I arrived and spend the weekend together. As I got into Prague on Friday night I got a message saying that she had to work late and wasn’t sure what time she’d finish – that’s girl speak for “I’ve made other plans and I don’t want to feel like a bitch”. I told her not to worry. I pinged her the next morning and she ghosted – that’s girl speak for “stop texting me”. So I had two options; 1. I could sit around, learn a language and find my purpose in life or 2. I could go out and do what I do…

It was around 1pm on Saturday afternoon and I was just finishing up in that quaint little café where I wrote my previous post. I still hadn’t heard from the Russian, she was definitely flaking. Fuck it, I’ll go out for a walk and see what’s what. I dropped my laptop at the flat and hit the streets. If I saw a girl I liked, I’d open. I wasn’t SDL hunting but that would be my only avenue to get laid and I knew the odds of doing so were extremely low (1 in 267.84 for me).

I meandered down the main strip scanning for easy targets. There was a festive feel in the air, families and couples were everywhere, it was a pleasant vibe but it wasn’t good for daygame. After around half an hour I finally spotted a solo girl of sufficient quality. I got in front and delivered “I HHHHOPE YOU SPEAK ENGLISH” with all of the enthusiasm I could muster. She smiled without breaking stride and said “No, I’m sorry, I don’t” in perfect English. Good start.

I carried on walking then I saw a tall good looking dude walking towards me, he was a male 9 (no homo) but I noticed that he was staring to the left, my right and started off in that direction. I looked right and spotted what he was staring at. It was a hot girl. I followed him following her for a few minutes. Was he a daygamer? Was he going to open her??

This girl was a tallish brunette with black high heels, a black furry coat and a sexy walk – she looked horny. She was walking fast then she would break stride every so often to look in a shop window. Her assailant was matching her stop start stride and I was almost willing him on to open. Do it, Dooo it. I let him have 3 or 4 opportunities to open then I’d had enough. I ran around him, got in front of her and laid on the patter – I could see the other guy scuttle off in a huff out of the corner of my eye.

Sofija was from Slovakia and was relatively new to Prague, she’d moved there for a job in an embassy. She was very chatty and did most of the talking for me. I tried to idate her but she told me that she had some shopping to finish. She was disappointed to hear that I was leaving the next day. I proposed we meet for a glass of wine in the evening and she seemed very keen and even spoke about which places we could go to. I took her number.

I carried on for another hour without seeing much, the wind was starting to pick up and it was spitting rain. I decided I’d head back to the flat and watch the football before getting some food and hopefully meeting up with Sofija.

On my way back I spotted another hot solo girl, this one looked Persian. I opened and to my surprise she turned out to be Khazak, she didn’t look Asian at all. Anna was a finance student and was on her way to meet some friends for dinner before going to a concert that night. I took her number and told her to text me if she had some energy after the concert. She was very responsive over text (and still is) but I didn’t see her that night.

I lay on my bed in my boxer shorts whilst illegally streaming the football and eating some almonds, not quite bottom world. Sofija had read my feeler text and not responded. I watched Untied batter Fulham, freshened up and took myself out for some food. It was around 7pm when I finished eating so I decided to have one more roll of the dice.

There were lots of Christmas market stalls in Wenceslas square and I quite fancied a nice warm cup of mulled wine, but I didn’t want to stand there drinking on my own. Then out of the corner of my eye I spotted a tiny little thing walking very slowly through the markets. She was around 5’2” including her heels and was wearing tight dark denim jeans, a big furry jumper and a puffy eskimo style jacket. She looked Asian – but hot, easily a 7. I wandered over to her…

Excuuuuuse me, I saw you floating through the market and thought you looked very cute, you’re like a little eskimo with this big jacket. – Instant eye spazz.

Haha well thank you

Oh, you have an American accent? I was expecting a Russian one

Sorry to disappoint you, why would I have a Russian accent?

Well, you have the look of a Khazak girl

Noooo, I’m from Singapore

Ah, I’ve never been there but I have a friend from there. Apparently it’s just one big shopping mall and all the girls are crazy. Is this true?

Hahaha – no, well yes, kinda

I was in. Harriet was on a long holiday, she’d travelled to 4 other countries before this one and Prague was her last stop. It was her first ever trip to Europe and she was travelling alone. I asked her plans for the evening. “No plans, I’m just exploring the city”. I told her I fancied a glass of mulled wine at the market and she enthusiastically agreed to join.

We exchanged travel stories and Harriet told me that she loved adventure and being spontaneous. By the end of the drink Harriet was complaining that she was really cold so this was the perfect opportunity to bounce her to a little underground cocktail bar called Parlour, which coincidentally was right beside my apartment. It was almost the perfect seduction venue, very dark and quiet and she was impressed, but there were no couches so we had to sit opposite each other. We both had a cocktail and by the end of it I could see she was getting tipsy. It was now around 8:30 and I hadn’t escalated enough to invite her back to the flat. We went for a walk and she was struggling for balance, I asked her if she could handle another drink and she said “of course!” I didn’t believe her, her tiny frame and Asian heritage were not a good combination for drinking.

We completed our trip around block and Harriet was oblivious to the fact that we’d just walked in a circle. I took her into another bar called blah blah and we sat on stools at the bar. I ramped up the escalation, peppering her arms, legs and stomach with my hands as I spun my web around her. Harriet told me that she was only just out of her one and only relationship of 6 years, she was 23. I asked how recent and she said it was 6 months ago. Soon after this I leant in for the first kiss attempt and she turned her head in the opposite direction. I finished my beer and Harriet had barely touched her drink so I did the honours and polished that off too. I suggested another walk and we arrived at my front door. She refused to come up – “I think I should go home, I’m sleepy”.

I walked her back to the metro, she bought a ticket and I went to hug her goodye;

It was nice meeting you, text me when you get home

You’re not coming back with me?

Oh, you can’t make it back alone?

Just come, please.

Oooooooo K, if you insist.

I got a ticket and we got on the metro. At this point I still didn’t think the SDL was on, I hadn’t kissed her and I figured she just wanted me to walk her to her front door, which I would have done, I’m a nice guy, really.

We hardly said a word to each other on the way back as Harriet tried her hardest to stay awake. It wasn’t looking good. We got to her front door and Harriet asked me to wait outside whilst she tidied up. IT’S ON!

It was still a tip when I got inside – clothes and make-up scattered all over the place and she hadn’t even made her bed. I shudder to think what it must have looked like before she “tidied”.

Harriet downed a bottle of water and she seemed to snap out of her drowsy state. I lay on the bed beside her and played some music on my phone. The lighting in the room was almost florescent and there was no dimmer switch or lamps. I told her my apartment was way better than hers and that we should have went there.

I pulled her in for the kiss and this time there was no resistance. Soon her hand wandered to my dick and she rubbed it over the top of my jeans. I undid my fly and she started wanking me off vigorously. I went to finger her and she pushed me off and whispered in my ear “do you have a condom?”. Luckily I had put one in my wallet earlier that day. “Yes I do”.

Harriet excused herself to go to bathroom and I could hear the shower running. Good girl. I stripped down to my boxers expecting her to come out naked but when she emerged she was fully clothed. “Take off your clothes young lady!” I barked but she giggled and refused. I pulled her onto the bed and quickly went about removing all her clothes and we fucked.  I blew my load pretty quickly and she fell asleep about 3 seconds later. I got dressed, picked up wallet and keys from the table and let myself out.

On my way home I treated myself to a KFC zinger burger and as I went to open up back at my flat I found two sets of keys in my pocket. FUCK. I’d lifted my keys AND hers. I would have to see her again to give them back. Luckily I’d added her on Instagram earlier in the date. I met her the next day and we had a romantic afternoon at the sex museum before I got my Uber out to the airport.

So despite my best efforts to have a weekend off from daygame and try to spend time with a girl I’d already banged I ended up with a same day lay and a new flag. What other choice did I have?

Lay Report: NPC’s

Similar to this but not as tall.

I’m sitting in a quaint little café on a Saturday morning on a solo trip to Prague. There’s no particular plan, I came here to relax and see an old regular (this one). I took a walk around the city last night and couldn’t help but appreciate its beauty. I always think of this place as the Disney Land of Eastern Europe – it’s so picturesque that it almost feels fake. As I walked I couldn’t help but soak up the nostalgia. I walked from my apartment down Wenceslas square past the café where I had a date with a hot feminist – she walked out upon learning of my love for the Donald. I carried on to the bottom of the square where I recalled meeting a cute little thing for a date only to be ambushed by her little miss piggy lookalike friend. I walked down the main strip towards palladium mall passing the spot where I opened a 9 on my previous trip here. I idated her whilst she waited for her boyfriend to finish a meeting. As I walked further I passed the spot where I first properly met Krauser. He pretended to shoot me as I was mid-set, I binned it off and joined him for a coffee. As I passed TGI Fridays memories of the Russian I idated and SDL’d popped into my head. I learned after banging her that she was on her way to a date that day (you can read about that drama here). As I got to the entrance of the mall I remembered my first proper same day lay. I’d bounced a little Slovak for coffee, then a beer, back to mine and had sex, all in around 2 hours. I have a lot of good memories in this city and some bad ones. It’s funny how our brains work as I don’t think about the negatives much.

The other day was one that should go in the good memories box, it happened in London. Here’s the story…

A few Saturdays back I’d been out daygaming with my flatmate, Mr. S. It was my first all day session in a long time. Mr S was full of beans and telling stories aplenty in between sets. Despite my good vibe I didn’t get a single hook-point from 7 sets that day. Eagle eyed readers may say that that is not enough sets. Not to sound pompous – but it usually is for me. Long gone are the days where I “grind” out 10 sets a session. Meanwhile Mr S got around 4 numbers from roughly the same number of sets. We all say that the only competition should be with ourselves, but we all have a competitive edge, especially when winging with someone of equal competence. Mr S won that day and offered words of consolation as we went for a beer after our session. “Don’t worry about me mate. Tomorrow is another day”. And it was.

The following Sunday I woke up fairly early and hit the gym and followed it up with a big breakfast. I was ready to talk to some girls, this time solo. I enjoy both solo and winged daygame, but I always get more leads when solo, obviously because I don’t have to share sets. I did 5 sets in just under 2 hours, getting 3 numbers. One of them was a Canadian girl who was dressed head to toe in black with a big digital SLR around her neck. I teased Daria telling her that she was SUCH a stereotypical tourist. She protested vehemently, it was part of her masters degree, the pictures were for her latest project. Turned out she had moved to London a couple of months previous and was still finding her feet in the big smoke. We agreed to meet for a drink later in the week. It felt on.

We agreed to meet at Baker street station the following Thursday. Daria turned up a few minutes early and she looked hot, again in all black tight clothing which accentuated her nice curves. Here parents were Turkish which meant she had dark features and buxom lips, she looked very fuckable. I took her to a couple of bars and got her back to my place. “I don’t have sex on the first date”.

A couple of weeks passed by and I thought the lead was dead. I’d ping her and she would reply with one word answers a day or two later. I invited her out for Thursday past but she was busy and offered the weekend instead. I couldn’t as I was going away for the weekend. I didn’t counter offer, then she proposed Wednesday past.

We met at the same place at 7pm. I walked her straight to the speakeasy bar near mine, took her home a couple of hours later and banged her. No LMR and it all felt very transactional (no, I didn’t pay her). The sex wasn’t great, when I tried to do her doggy whilst pulling her hair and spanking her ass she would keep collapsing onto her stomach on the bed. I walked her back to the tube a few minutes later and I’ll probably never see her again. Whilst I was happy to bag my 16th daygame lay of the year, the next day all of the satisfaction was gone. If anything, I felt worse off as I yawned my way through a technically challenging meeting at work. “Roy, you look like shit, late night last night?!” asked my colleague. “Nah, just a bad nights sleep”. Back in the day I’d be in a euphoric state for a few days after a new notch.

I’ve been doing some introspection on this solo trip – what am I doing here? What is my plan? Is banging all these girls making me happy?

Anyone who has done game long enough knows that it is a Sisyphean sport. Yes, there are moments of extreme happiness, but there are equally, if not more unhappy extremes. I for one, love the chase and that’s what keeps me in the game. But with each new notch I get less and less gratification, this will probably be obvious if you compare one of my latest lay reports to one from a couple of years ago. I was listening to a Roosh podcast the other day and in it he compared girls and game to the NPC (Non-player character) meme craze. Girls are the NPC’s, always giving more or less the same responses no matter where in the world you are and gamers are the players. You can win as many games as you like but at the end of it all you will not feel any better off. All that you can gain is the red pill understanding of how the game is played. Roosh’s analogy struck a chord with me and from my own experience he is bang on the money.



Lay Report: An unexpected long lead comes through

Not quite this many tattoos.

It was 23 June and I only had a couple of days left in St.Petersburg. I was content with my results for the trip so far and was taking things easy. Gollum the great gamma and I had grown tired of circling the well-trodden daygame route – Galleria mall, up Nevsky as far as the KFC on the corner, cross the road and back the other side of Nevsky towards the mall, rinse, repeat. To escape groundhog day we decided to go for a walk up the Western end of Nevsky prospect and it turned out there was a street festival on that day. We spotted a little pop up bar/café just off the side of the main strip and decided to rest our weary legs and watch the world go by.

I was nursing yet another hangover, Gollum was feeling drained due to his latest obsession – “Getting SHREDDED” – which seemed to be a diet that consisted of eating packets of sandwich ham and nothing else. As we sat there discussing the joys of this wonderful city and our plans to come back in the new year I couldn’t help but notice a cute little blond as she was about to cross the road walking away from us.

Sorry Gollum, I have to open that. And off I went.

I got in front and as soon as I did so a wide smile broke out on Nastia’s face. Instantly I felt a surge of vibe pulse through my veins as my hangover receded for the next ten minutes. She was blonde, around 5’3”, had a piercing on her nose and wore a tight white blouse which showed off a nice cleavage but the icing on the cake was her ass. She wore tight grey faded jeans which seemed to make her ass stick out so much that you could use it as a shelf. Nastia was very bubbly and carried most of the set for me, asking where I was from, what I was doing in “Piter” and why. I found out that she was working in construction and was originally from somewhere in the far East of Russia. I went for the idate as I only had a couple of days left but Nastia was on her way to meet some friends. We exchanged numbers and off she went.

As I mentioned here, I got her out the next day. We met early on a Sunday afternoon as she had to be up early for work the next day. I took her to the usual two venues, a wine bar followed by a dark cocktail bar. There’s a very secluded couch at the back of this cocktail bar which makes it an excellent second venue. As I sat there with Nastia Seven walked in with his latest date and was walking straight to my table. He saw me sitting there, gave me a stare as if to say “You bastard, that’s my table!” and led his girl to the other side of the bar whilst sighing loudly. I’d already kissed Nastia and as I floated the idea of going back to mine she said that she had to get home to finish some work. I walked her back to the metro kissed her goodbye and didn’t get her out again. I’d assumed that was the end of it.

Upon returning from Russia I received an e-mail from FIFA –as a gesture of goodwill to celebrate the success of the World Cup, anyone with a FIFA fan ID could return to Russia without a new visa for the rest of 2018. I decided to take advantage of this and booked myself a flight back for a long weekend. A few weeks before I was due to fly out I sent a screenshot of my flight details to around 20 unclosed leads, including Nastia. Around half them replied and two of them were keen to meet.

On the Friday night I met up with a girl I had 3 dates with on my previous trip but I never got the lay as she was on her period. I thought it was in the bag for a first night lay – she turned up looking stunning in a black dress, drank a few glasses of wine, got her back to the flat and she gave me the same excuse yet again. I was furious and I did not hide it.

Why didn’t you tell me this before? You knew I was coming on this date, couldn’t you have frigged your system to change when your period arrived?! She looked shocked and confused. I tried to persuade her to let me just put a towel down but she said there was too much blood. I asked her if it would be cleared up by Sunday, my last night, and she said that it probably would be. I told her I would take her out again on Sunday and she seemed keen but warned me that she was afraid to have sex with me as she would fall in love, I would leave and she would be left with a broken heart. I didn’t have an answer for her. The best I could come up with was;

Well, I’ll definitely be back in the new year.

Whilst this was true, I knew that if I banged her I would probably never want to see her again, I left that part out. As I sit here now on Sunday afternoon I don’t currently have any other solid leads lined up so I’ll probably try again with her tonight but the odds are slim.

Back to Nastia.

She agreed to meet me at 6pm on the Saturday evening. I wasn’t expecting much from this date, she had requested it to be early so she could get home early and she wasn’t very on on the first date.

I met her at Mayakovskaya metro and she was bang on time. It was literally freezing outside, -2oC to be precise and Nastia was well insulated in a huge puffy jacket and scarf which covered her from head to ankles with a pair of white trainers – she did not look sexual at all and I was disappointed. She kissed me on the lips as we greeted and gave me a huge hug, good start. I walked her to a quiet wine bar that I had googled earlier on. It turned out to be a great venue, not busy, very quiet and plenty of couches. As Nastia delayered her scarf and coat my eyes almost popped out of their sockets. She giggled and asked me if I was ok.

Yes, yes – you look different!

And she did. Underneath the coat Nastia wore a tight black boob tube and tight black pants. She seemed to be in much better shape than when we met in June, everything looked tighter. I really wanted to bang her.

Have you been hitting the gym?

Yes, I’ve been doing yoga and gym three or four times a week.

I approve.

I ordered us a bottle of Georgian red wine and she cozied up next to me as we caught up. I proceeded to drink most of the bottle as Nastia sipped her way through the equivalent of one glass for the next hour and a half. The conversation flowed and we kissed a couple of times.

You know it’s rude in Russian culture to kiss in public

Well, what should we do about this?

I think you can figure it out

It was now around 8pm, I had organised to meet my regular from June at 10pm so I needed to move things along faster. I asked for the bill and walked us in the direction of my apartment. We got to the front door and I invited her up for one more glass of wine. She wobbled at first but I re-assured her that she could leave whenever she wanted. She agreed.

As we entered the flat we both took off our shoes and I gave her a tour of my ridiculously oversized apartment – it had 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms and cost me £10 a night, quite a different from the rates during the world cup. Nastia made herself comfortable on the couch and I poured the wine. We chatted and watched videos on youtube and the time flew by. I showed her videos of Bambi struggling to walk through a snowy field – that’s what it’s like when an English girl tries to walk in heels I explained to Nastia and she packed up with laughter. I checked the time and it was almost 9:30. SHIT, time to escalate! I put the laptop to one side and got on top of her, kissed her and groped her breasts.

Can you dim the lights?

I switched the lights off and returned to her.

And can we listen to something other than Disney music?! Youtubehad cycled on to Lion king clips and the circle of life was not making Nastia wet.

The clothes came off quickly and I was surprised to see that Nastia was covered in tattoos – all in places which are not visible when clothed,I don’t normally like this look but she pulled it off. The sex was amazing and after I banged her the first time my phone started vibrating on the bedside table. It was now 10:15 and my regular was calling me as I was 15 minutes late. I text her back asking if we could meet at 11pm instead and she responded quickly with a tirade of furious Russian expletives. I felt like a proper cunt because I really liked this girl. As I replied to apologise Nastia grabbed my cock and put it in her mouth and moaned as she sucked on it – she seemed to like the taste. I put the phone back on the table and my feelings of guilt disappeared for the next 45 minutes as we carried on fucking. I collapsed in an exhausted sweaty mess and told Nastia that I needed to kick her out as I was now an hour late to meet my “friend”. She quickly got her stuff together and I walked her back to the tube. It was now around 11:15 and I was late to meet my rescheduled date with the regular. I messaged her asking where she was and she told me that she’d gone home – “I can’t believe you did this to me, I thought you were better than this”. Ouch, I guess that’s that romance dead.

Lay Report: Tits out – Gash out

Slightly older than this.

I bagged my 14th daygame lay of the year at the weekend to end a 6 week dry spell – it felt a LOT longer than that. I opened this girl back in April 2016 and I banged her on Saturday, two and a half years later, my longest lead ever. Here’s the story…

11 April 2016

I wasn’t living in London at the time but I was coming down every week for work. It was a Monday evening and I was buzzing with enthusiasm to be daygaming in London. I was up the Baghdad end of Oxford street when I saw her standing outside of Selfridges faffing about with loads of shopping bags as she tried to light a cigarette. She was short, around 5′ 2″, with a slim figure, blond hair and blue eyes. Probably Swedish said my newbie calibration. I hovered outside Selfridges whilst I eyed her up and tried to summon the courage to open before she caught me looking at her, FUCK. Then…

SCUSE ME, YOU GOT A LIGHTA?! Hollered the blondie in a loud cockney accent in my direction.

Uhhm, yes, yes I do.

I was thrown off guard. I lit her cigarette whilst frantically searching my brain for game. Nothing.


Uuuuhm, no, no I’m not… Where do you think I’m from? I remembered some game!

I recovered the set from here and found out that Louise was not from Sweden, she was a cockney from Camden and had a passion for poetry. We chatted for a good 10 minutes whilst she chain smoked three cigarettes. I recall trying to idate her but she told me she had to get home to make dinner for her boyfriend. I told her that it sounded like a serious relationship…


I can work with complicated.


Why yes, yes I do.

Louise had a lot of banter, I normally struggle with girls who are louder than me but it was different with this one, I enjoyed the back and forth and she was hot, a low 8. I took her number, we texted back and forth for a few weeks, but I never got her out.

10 September 2018

It was a Monday again. I was going through a bit of a purple patch in September, every set I opened went well and I’d already gotten two daygame lays in the previous week. I recall getting home from work and heading out to do an hour of solo daygame. I was walking on the North side of Oxford street in the Baghdad direction when I spotted a curvy blond in dark navy double denim and black high heels. I looked her up and down as she walked towards me. She looked straight back at me, she was actually staring at me. IOI, IOI, That’s a huuuuge IOI thought me. I let her walk by to check her out from behind, as I did so she looked back at me too…


I instantly remembered the brash cockney accent. She looked different though, she’d put on weight, but in all the right places and had an impressive rack. Two and a half years is a long time in girl years and it showed as I noticed she’d started to develop crows feet around her eyes. She was now a 7.

Uuuuhm, yes, yes you do. I met you outside Selfridges, right?


haha, well someone has to be chivalrous in this day and age.


We chatted for around 10 minutes as I filled her in on the preceding two and a half years and then I asked how she was doing…


It must be written in the stars… what are you doing now?

It was around 7.30pm, Louise told me that she needed to get some shopping done before everywhere closed. I told her we could meet for a drink when she was finished her shopping and she agreed.


You don’t remember mine either.

Touche luv

My name is Roy.

Louise – do you still have my number?

I pulled out my phone and searched her name, about 10 Louise’s popped up (I never delete girls numbers), I quickly scanned the profile pictures and pressed hers before she saw all the others.

‘Louise Poet’, this is you, right?


I couldn’t see our chat history as I’d gotten a new phone since the first time we met. I pinged her my name and told her to text me when she was ready for a drink.

We met at around 9pm near Oxford street and walked in the direction of my apartment and had a drink at the bar just across from it. I escalated hard and we kissed several times. It was last orders in the bar at 11pm so I tried to bounce her back to my flat. We got to the front door and Louise told me that it was too soon and that she had to get her last train home. I walked her to Baker street tube and she said “next time I’ll come in”.

A couple of weeks passed and we pinged back and forth. We were both busy, I was away a lot with work and she was always busy on the weekends, but we arranged to meet on a Saturday night at the end of September. A few hours before the date she sent me a long rambling message about how she wasn’t ready to date anyone yet as she still wasn’t over her ex. I told her not to worry and that she could text me when she was ready.

Every couple of weeks I sent her a photo ping and she was always very responsive and eventually invited herself out saying that she thought she was “in a better place”. We arranged to meet at 7pm on Saturday past.

10 November 2018

It was raining buckets all day, I was full of a cold and I was pretty certain that Louise was flaking as she was messaging me complaining about the rain. I honestly wouldn’t have minded if she did as I felt like shit. But she didn’t.

She arrived bang on time and had really made an effort. Black high heels, black tights, a short tight black dress which showed off her busty cleavage and a black leather jacket. She’d put a fair bit of make up on too so she looked like a proper slosh pot – I really wanted to bang her.

I walked us to an old boozer for the first venue. I got the drinks in and we sat opposite each other as we caught up. A few minutes in and we were already talking about her messed up past. Louise told me that she had a lot of health problems up until the age of 25 and didn’t lose her virginity until she was 27 (she had just turned 30) and had only ever had sex with three people.

Oh, well that’s both good and bad

What do you mean?

Well you’re obviously not a slut, but it also means you’re probably not very good in bed.

Well, what would you say if I told you I didn’t ave a gag reflex?


Speechless now, aintchya… watch this

Louise lifted her vape pen up off of the table, it was about 20cm long, and proceeded to slide the whole thing down her throat and held it there for a few seconds before pulling it out. She didn’t gag.

Bet you wasn’t expecting that woz ya?

No, no I was not. Interesting party trick you have there.

We moved from the first bar at 8pm to go to the usual speakeasy I normally take my girls to. As we were walking Louise complained that it was cold out.

It’s not cold, this is mild

Well, I’m wearing a little dress and my tit’s are anging out

This is true

I’m tits out – gash out and you’re dressed for winta

You’re what?


Is gash what I think it is?

Course it fuckin’ is. Ain’t you eva eard of that sayin??

We eventually arrived at the second venue and sat near a fire so Louise could warm her tits and gash. We sat on a couch and were all over each other but she kept saying things like “I’m not easy you know, you’ll ave to work ard to get me inta bed”. Of course, of course said me. At around 9 I started floating the idea of going back to mine but she wanted to go to a club. FUCK. I told her how much I hated clubs and how I was a terrible dancer.

Pleeeease, just an hour or two and then we can go back to yours, promise.

The night was still young and I didn’t have to be up early so I reluctantly agreed, lose the battle to win the war. I ordered an uber to Leicester square and 20 minutes later we were in a club called Zoo bar, she paid both our entry fees. As we walked in I was instantly reminded why I hate clubs, the music was deafening, it was a cock-fest and the few girls that were there were mingers. It reminded me why daygame will always be king.

Louise got the drinks in and we stood at the edge of the dance floor as she danced around me. After around 20 minutes of this she got bored and sat on a stool near the dance floor, I stood facing her between her legs. She was kissing me a lot and grabbed my hand and put it on her crotch. I rubbed her pussy over the top of her tights and was just about to pull them down so I could finger her. Then I felt someone tug me hard on my left arm and yank me away from her. I turned in a fit of rage ready say some mean words to my assailant only to discover it was a huge black man and he was also the bouncer. He shouted at me;


I’m not doing anything mate, I was just kissing my girl

Then, Louise had to pipe up;


This seemed to convince the bouncer that we weren’t up to anything (we were) and he left us alone. Soon after this we finished up our drinks and I ordered an uber back to mine. It was plain sailing from here on in. We got back to the flat, I poured the wine and we fucked like rabbits. Unsurprisingly, Louise was VERY good at blowjobs, she swallowed my cock whole and loved it when I face fucked her hard.

I gave her the usual debrief and she told me that if I didn’t come to the club with her she would have went home, so it was definitely worthwhile going.

Lay Report: 18 y/o Bulgarian Flag

Similar to this but with bigger breasts and ass.

I wrote most of this post last Monday, I’m getting lazy with this blogging lark…
Another weekend has passed where I did next to bugger all daygame, I did one set on Saturday afternoon but she had a boyfriend. Yet, other leads have been keeping me quite busy. On Friday I went on a second date with a hot Brazilian I closed a couple of Sundays back. I got her back to the flat but she repeatedly told me “you’re not getting any tonight”. She still seems keen so hopefully she will have her own blog post soon. On Saturday I planned to meet up with a Serbian long lead who had just moved to London, but she messed up her logistics and postponed to Sunday afternoon. We went for a walk around London before I bounced her to a bar and kissed her. Hopefully she too will get her own blog post soon. At around 6pm I said my goodbyes to the Serb before meeting up with the Bulgarian I mentioned briefly in my last post and she now has her own…
Lets pick up after I opened the black girl a couple of Sundays back. All the other lads had gone home but Xants and I were not quite ready to end the weekends festivities yet. It was around 8pm now and I turned to Xants;
I could do a cheeky beer
You know what? I was thinking the exact same thing!
Peas in a pod. We made our way to the Argyll arms, got a couple of beers in and watched the world go by. We tried our hardest to drown out the racket coming from the black man who bangs the buckets at the top of Argyll st. I found the perfect distraction in the form of a cute two-set sitting at the table behind us. Xants did the honours and walked straight over. I stayed put and when the time was right he waved me over to join the set. Both girls were Spanish, in town for a week and would be leaving the next morning. One of them was nineteen and the hotter one was only sixteen. Xants tried his best but it soon became evident that the girls only had one thing on their minds – meeting the members of One direction. The 16 year old was stalking their social media feeds whilst Xants tried in vein to spike some interest but to no avail, we were celebrity-mogged so we drank up and said our goodbyes.
We walked down the road to Kingly street and there were still quite a few people sat outside drinking. As we walked by one bar I spotted a cute little blondie throwing me an IOI. She was sat with another girl and there were no guys around them. It was my turn to open so I suggested to Xants that we get a drink and then I’d come out and open them, he agreed.
The girls were sitting at a table opposite each other so I walked straight up and stood to their side.

Javier Bardem ain’t got shit on me

Excuse me, I can see you are both in deep conversation, probably about boys… but my friend and I noticed you as we were walking by earlier. We thought you both looked cute so I had to come say hi… Hi!
They both gobbled the bait. Xants did a sterling job winging and soon after we bounced them inside the bar where we got a table upstairs. I sat beside my target and Xants distracted the other one.
The girls were colleagues at a clothes shop. My target, let’s call her Helen, was 18, from Bulgaria, arrived in London a couple of months ago and was now due to start her degree in fashion. The other girl was from Spain, in her mid-twenties and was Helens boss at the shop. Helen was a solid to high 7, unfortunately for Xants the other girl was a 6.
We all chatted together for about an hour and before we knew it the bar was closing. Xants took the number of the Spaniard and they both made their way home. The Bulgarian had to get a bus from Bond street which was on my way home so I walked with her. As we sat waiting for her bus she told me that she wasn’t ready to go home yet, it was now around 11pm. I tried to pull her back to my flat but she refused so we sat there talking for about an hour. I told Helen about my travels down the years and this led to her asking how old I was. For some reason I thought it would be better to lie…
How old do you think I am?
That’s it.
It was now around midnight and I told her I needed to get up early for work, I took her number and she jumped on the next bus.
The next day, Monday, went for a walk in regents park. She asked my date of birth as we were sat chatting on the bench. I couldn’t figure out the DOB of a 29 yr old fast enough – “You don’t know your own date of birth?!” So I told her the truth. She called me a liar for the rest of the date every 5 mins. The girl had banter.
We met again the following Friday. I took her for drinks around my area and got her back to the flat this time, but she said it was too soon as we’d only met a few days ago.
On Saturday I was out drinking with the lads and she was out with her girlfriends. She messaged me at around 10pm asking if they could join us. She turned up with the same Spanish colleague and another hot crazy Italian girl. Mr S did his best with her but she was so drunk that she ended up jumping in a taxi alone. Xants got nowhere with the Spanish, again. All the bars closed at around 1am so Helen, her Spanish friend and I jumped in an Uber back to my place. I thought the threesome was on. The three of us went straight to my bedroom and I poured us all some wine. I tried several times to get the two girls to kiss but Helen was not playing ball – despite the Spanish girl being keen. After about half an hour of chatting and the girls listening to me playing the guitar Helen got up to go to the toilet. The Spanish girl was sitting on my bed and gave me the eyes as if to say “take me”. So I did, we kissed until we heard footsteps coming back towards the room. I got off the Spanish girl and sat back at my desk, Helen didn’t suspect a thing. Spanish got a taxi home soon after and Helen decided to stay over. I escalated hard but was cock-blocked by her period, she had the manners to finish me off with her mouth though.
A week passed and I invited her out for a picnic in the park on Sunday. It was 7pm and getting dark, we had some wine and snacks in Regents park before the guard kicked us out at 8pm. I walked us in the direction of my place and straight to the bedroom. Before I’d even put any music on or poured wine she pounced on me, I threw her on the bed and soon all our clothes were off. The sex was amazing and I took great joy in pounding her tight little body.
I did the usual debrief. Helen told me that she wanted to have sex with me the moment she saw me walking by, she thought I was attractive. What a coincidence said me, I felt the same way about you. Mutual lust at first sight, how romantic.
I’ll be keeping her on as a regular for the winter months. She’s actually fun to be around which is sadly a quality I find very rare with most girls that I bang.

Lay Report: 22 y/o English black girl

Like this except with straight hair.

I’ve hit somewhat of a purple patch over the last week or so whilst doing hardly any sets. Last Sunday was probably my most productive day in London this summer. I did 6 sets, closed four of them and have been on dates with two of those since. I also did some bar game that same Sunday with Xants and closed a hot Bulgarian 18 year old who I have been on 3 dates with already. I had a near miss with her on Saturday night whilst her friend lay asleep next to us on my bed after I unsuccessfully negotiated a threesome – I clearly need to invest in a hot tub. Hopefully the Bulgarian will get her own blog post very soon.

Last night I banged a girl I closed that Sunday after a filthy set on the street. Here’s the story…

It was a sunny Sunday afternoon and I was riding the crest of a wave having got a few strong leads over the weekend and still in a celebratory mood after my SDL a couple of days previous. At around 6pm I met up with the lads to go for burgers. Afterwards the four of us (Xants, Mr White, RR and I) took a walk down Oxford st, Mr White was done for the day and RR wasn’t doing any sets either so it was only me and Xants in the mood to open. Xants popped off to open a cute little brunette so the rest of us stood in a huddle nearby discussing what we’d do for the rest of the evening. I was chatting to Mr White when my spider sense tingled, I just about saw beyond his biceps to catch a glimpse of a black girl approaching behind him.

Mr White, yesterday.

Nicky was slim, a little shorter than me with shoulder length black hair. Her fashion was very outlier with a black choker around her neck, a black boob tube and a short yellow mini-skirt which showed off a very nice pair of legs and a pair of black heels. Her skin was dark brown, not full African and her hips were swaying from side to side as she paraded down the street with a cigarette in her right hand. “Look at that filth there!” I announced to Mr White and RR as I interrupted whatever he was telling me. I let her pass “See you boys tomorrow” I said before making chase.

I got in front, I don’t remember anything I said, but I will probably never forget the electric vibe of the set. Our faces were around 15cm apart and Nicky was purring like a cat as we eye-fucked each other the hole way through, I was seriously considering kissing her on the street but I aired on the side of caution. I found out she was English, but her mum was German and her dad was of African decent hence the lighter skin. She had just finished her shift in Topshop and was on her way to meet some friends so an idate was not on the cards. I took her number and rejoined the lads announcing “I’m probably gonna bang her”.

The texting was fairly simple, I probed her to see when she would be available for a drink and she suggested the following Sunday. I pinged her on the day and it took her a few hours to confirm, but once she did I knew I’d probably be getting laid.

Nicky turned up at Baker st tube on time wearing a bright red leather jacket, a black choker, a tight black top which her nipples were piercing through (no bra!), tight black jeans and black boots. She had definitely come to fuck. She immediately fell into my frame, latching onto my arm as we walked and asked where we were going.

I took her to two venues near my apartment and it was easy peasy to get her home and bang her, I probably could have taken her home after one drink if I was in a hurry. Nicky was 22, a solid 7 for me but I know a lot of guys don’t like the darker girls. There were no real revelations on the date but here are some memorable parts;

Do you get approached by men in the street often?

OMG, almost every day I go to work. But you were so different, I couldn’t believe how close you were standing to me and how confident you were, it was hot

How many boyfriends have you had?

Two, but I’m not looking for a relationship any time soon

How many sexual partners have you had?


There was absolutely no LMR in the bedroom and she was just as dirty as I expected in the sack. I banged her three times, all rawdog as she told me she was on birth control but I really need to start being more careful as I doubt she’s only slept with eleven men.

When did you decided you were going to have sex with me?

I was already considering it when you spoke to me on the street, I knew I would definitely do it when we were having the first drink

Nicky missed her last train home so I let her stay over and she let herself out early the next morning. She was my 56th daygame notch and 18th (including 5 bargame lays) of the calendar year. This brings me level with Mr S who shot way ahead of the back in July banging 9 girls in a month – The competition is heating up.


Lay Report: SDL with an English student

brunette-with-fringe-iron-railingsAugust has been fruitful in London, I bagged my fourth notch of the month [1] on the last night and it was my first same day lay of the year; all I had to do was turn up. Here’s the story…

I’d been working from home all day and was eager to get out of the house and speak to real people. It was Friday evening so I text all the lads to see if anyone was up for winging and/or beers after. Xants had a date, Mr White was on a jaunt, Ricky Roma was boxing then staying in and Mr S was ill in bed. Solo it was then. My mantra was – fine, more sets for me, I’ll just have to go out and get my same day lay knowing full well that the odds of doing so were very low (0.37% or 1 for every 269.25 sets, to be precise).

I hit the streets at around 5.30pm and got my first set out of the way quick sharp – blowout. I saw another hot girl twenty minutes later – blowout. My third set was good but she had a boyfriend. I closed the fourth, which was a hot English girl with huge breasts and no bra. I did two more sets after this getting mild interest but boyfriend rejections. It was now almost 8pm and I decided to call it a day. As I was walking up Oxford Street in the direction of my apartment I spotted a cute longhaired brunette with a huge fringe walking slowly towards me. It was getting dark now so I waited until she got closer to get a better look. She was dressed like a tramp with a big baggy jumper over the top of a stripey shirt, black jeans and dirty trainers. But she did have a very pretty face with big blue eyes and prominent cheek bones, Melanie was a low 7 who could probably dress herself up to be a solid 7. I was about to let her go, then at the last second she threw a sly glance in my direction just as she assumed she was out of my peripheral vision. Fuck it.

I got in front and told her she looked cute in an alternative hippy sort of way, I guessed that she was probably listening to the Arctic Monkeys (She had headphones in before I opened). She giggled saying that she wasn’t but that she did in fact like the Artic Monkeys. Hook point. It was quite a long set in which I found out she was English, from a small town just outside of London and a philosophy student who had just finished her degree. She would be leaving London to go back to her hometown for good in two days. PERFECT!

Melanie told me that she had been out shopping all day and was now about to go home. Booooooring, come on it’s Friday night, let’s get a drink

Oh I don’t know, I need to get up early tomorrow and pack my life up… Where would we go?

I know a nice bar just back up that way

Well, I guess we can have one

I walked us in the direction of my apartment stopping off at the Lamb and Flag bar, just off Oxford Street. The bar was packed so we stood outside drinking a pint of beer each. The conversation was flowing and she was actually a very interesting girl. I suggested we go to another place where we could actually get a seat and she agreed. I walked us to a bar very close to my apartment and we sat at a table outside. Melanie asked for a gin and tonic this time, so I got her a double. I asked if she minded if I smoked and she said, “Only if I can have one”. If they smoke they poke.

I told her about all my travels and she asked how old I was. I told her my real age and Melanie told me she had just turned 22. She said that she didn’t care how old the guys were she dated, only how they behaved. It was refreshing to hear this from an English girl. The double gin was doing it’s job nicely as Melanie was getting a little tipsy now. I suggested one more drink at another bar just around the corner and she agreed.

We sat on a big couch and I got her another double gin and myself a beer. We started discussing what we like in the opposite sex, there was no need for the questions game. Then she escalated me;

Loaded question, but, what do you think of gay people?

Couldn’t give a shit, people can do whatever or whoever they want, as long as I don’t have to watch

Interesting, because I like girls

You’re a lesbian?!

Haha no, I like both

Oh, so do you like guys or girls more?

It’s not that simple

Have you had sex with both at the same time?


Have you had more girlfriends or boyfriends?

Only one of each

Do you enjoy sex with men or women more?


I mean how do girls even have sex? Scissoring?

Scissoring is boring, we just finger and lick each other out normally

Well that’s not real sex.

Image result for that escalated quickly gif

Soon after this I pulled her in for the kiss and she was all over me. I pushed her off after a minute or so telling her that I didn’t want her to get us thrown of my local pub. As we got to the end of the drinks I suggested that we go for a walk and she followed. We got to my front door and she was reluctant to come in at first. “Just one drink, you can leave whenever you want”. In she came.

The rest was easy, the clothes were soon off and we had some grotty sex. Melanie had a nice little body – small breasts with a big ass and a small waist. I took great pleasure in spanking this shit out of her pale white ass cheeks and admiring the warm red glow as I banged her doggy style. I let her stay over and then kicked her out in the morning before joining the lads for breakfast at our local café with a smug grin on my face.


[1] I banged a girl from night game on a stag do in Latvia. I don’t remember much about it to be honest.

Lay Report: A Saudi Sloshpot

Employment and working in Saudi Arabia
Looks much younger and more petit. So, nothing like this girl.

I’ve been plugging away at the daygame when time permits. On Thursday I went out for an hour and did one terrible set, on Friday I did two terrible sets and on Saturday I did one really good set followed by four terrible sets. One is all it takes for an epic story. And here it is…

I went out at around 4pm on Saturday and I was enjoying walking around with Mr White shooting the shit. It got to almost 5:30pm and I STILL hadn’t done a set. I wasn’t weaselling there was just nothing about. Mr White was telling me how he was moving into a bigger bedroom in his apartment as we walked up Regent street to cross Oxford street and turn left towards Selfridges. Then BAM, my spider sense tingled as I caught a short little back haired girl walk past us on my left. I didn’t get a look at her face but I didn’t hang about and made chase…. “Hold that thought Mr W”…

As I weaved through the crowd of people to catch up I got a good look from behind – she wore pink heels, a pink mini skirt and a white lacy top with black bra straps poking out the sides – she seemed dressed for Saturday night not day.

I got in front and it did not disappoint. Noura wore wide rimmed glasses over very dark brown, almost black eyes, her lipstick was pink and she had a great little figure with wide hips and a narrow waist. She was a solid to high 7. Noura looked very confused as I delivered my pre-opener but as soon as I told her I thought she looked very cute a huge smile broke out on her face and with it I had hook-point.

I like how co-ordinated you are – your heels, skirt, nails and lips are all matching in pink. You have clearly put a lot of effort in before leaving the house today

haha noooo. I’ve just bought this outfit and put it on straight away. I was out last night and I wanted to make myself feel pretty today

She had succeeded and I told her so. I carried on with my stack telling her that she definitely wasn’t English as she had a slight American accent and a Persian look to her. Noura told me she was from Saudi Arabia and had been living in London for the past month and with this my eyes lit up at the prospect of a new flag. I found out she was here to study business and computer programming and that she loved living in London because she could express herself freely. I got a lot of outlier vibes from her; she wasn’t wearing a hijab and had a lot of flesh on display, she lit up a cigarette in front of me, she had plans to go out to another nightclub later that evening and she was oozing sex appeal. At the end of the set I asked her immediate plans, she told me she was going to drink a coffee and then go home and get ready to go out. I decided not to go for the idate as I assumed (wrongly) that she was living in London for the foreseeable. We exchanged numbers and as she typed my name into her contacts I said “you can save me as ‘Roy Handsome Irish Man'”. She saved me as ‘Roy Hot Irish Man’. I took it as an IOI.

As I returned to Mr White he looked quite giddy and said;

That looked on, she looked a right sloshpot! You may as well write that blog post now. Call it ‘Saudi Sloshpot’. It’ll be a great title, it’s got the flag, the word sloshpot AND alliteration!

If I get the bang then I will definitely do that

I sent the feeler a couple of hours later while I was having dinner and drinks with Mr White, Xants and his regular. She replied just under an hour later asking what I was up to. I didn’t want to get dragged to a night club so I led the way with logistics.

No fannying about.

She joined us at the bar 20 minutes later as I was out the front having a smoke. She was still wearing the same outfit so clearly hadn’t been home in the intervening hours. We had a quick chat before I brought her in and introduced her to everyone. I took her over to the bar with me to get her a drink. I asked her what happened to the club plans and she said that she was too tired for that. I told her we would have one drink with my friends then me and her would go somewhere else. She was keen.

Noura was clearly not timid around new people, she’d come out for drinks with a (‘hot’) man she had met just a few of hours earlier and was now chatting away freely to his friends. I was impressed.

We finished up our drinks and I walked us in the direction of my apartment. We went to a bar very close to the flat and sat on stools by a window. Noura began telling me about her life in Saudi; how her mother is a very strict Muslim but her dad was more relaxed. She hated living there as she gets a lot of abuse for not always wearing a hijab. I found out she was 21 and was actually leaving London the following Monday morning (two days from then). FUCK. I decided to speed things up by starting the questions game and she loved it asking the usual questions when a girl is attracted; why are you single? do you do this to all the girls? have you ever cheated on a girl? etc. Soon after this there was a silence in the conversation. I stared into her dilated huge black eyes, then down at her big pink lips, they visibly quivered and I took this as my cue to pull her in for the kiss. She was all in putting both hands around my neck and digging her nails in slightly as she did so. “The SDDL is on!” thought me.

It was now around midnight and the bar was closing. I walked us to my apartment which was around the corner and we lit up a cigarette on the way. When we got to the front door she was reluctant to come in at first. I told her “Just one drink, you can leave whenever you want”. She agreed and in she came. I poured us some wine and played a couple of tunes on the guitar as she lay on the bed cooing. I put it down and joined her on the bed. We kissed a lot as I slid my hand up her skirt and rubbed her soaking wet pussy over the top of her underwear, she grabbed my cock over the top of my jeans and then freaked out, pushing me off and saying “NO! We can’t do this. Not tonight!” I was confused as it had been smooth sailing up until this point. I suggested we watch videos on Youtube but she told me she wanted to go home as it would take her two hours to get there and she needed to start packing to go back to Saudi. I was devastated as I felt a surefire notch slip out of my grasp. But then she threw me a lifeline;

What are you doing tomorrow?

Not sure yet. (I had planned on smashing the daygame. Obviously)

Let’s meet tomorrow, I’m free all day

OK, I’ll take you for a picnic in the park

Soon after this I walked her to the bus stop and as she boarded she said “Tomorrow, OK?!”

We arranged to meet on Oxford street the next day at 2pm. We were both late and ended up meeting at around 3pm. It was another baking hot day in London so I decided against my usual date uniform of boots, jeans and a t-shirt instead opting for trainers, shorts and a t-shirt. As I approached her I wondered if it was the same girl. She was in converse, white short shorts and a little yellow boob tube. She looked a LOT younger due to the casual clothing and lack of heels. I got a boner whilst simultaneously worrying that I could be a closet peado.

We went for some iced coffees before walking to Regents park, stopping off at the supermarket to buy booze and snacks along the way. I picked out a shaded spot under a tree and we set up camp there. I spent this first 30mins or so building more comfort, asking what her plans for her future were and more about her family. Soon after this she rested her head on my leg as she lay on her back. I stroked her flat stomach and she was practically purring as I did so.

We exchanged stories about our respective upbringings. I told her what it was like growing up in a divided city and on a farm in Ireland, she told me about getting addicted to zanex pills at 13 years old to try and escape the enforced rules of her society. Her first 6 “partners” were girls, although they never had sex, just lots of kissing and the occasional finger blast. I poured more fuel on the fire;

How many times have you actually had sex?

I honestly didn’t know what to expect. Noura had told me that it’s normal in Saudi for girls to be in relationships and never have sex.

You mean full sex?

Yes, penis in vagina

Oh. I guess only twice

Noura started showing me kinky pictures and videos of herself on her phone, she showed me a video of her masturbating, in others she was smoking cigarettes and pouting seductively with slutty red lipstick whilst wearing a hijab. Allah would not have approved.

I recalled a Tom Torero podcast I’d listened to a couple of years earlier, he was talking about how girls from these countries can be very sexually adventurous if they escape. I never believed it, but I was seeing it right before my eyes now in a hot young girl who seemed filthy despite what her mother and Allah told her.

How many people do you know that are like you in Saudi?

None, I’m the one percent

Soon both of us needed the toilet so we packed up and went to a bar near my apartment to use the facilities and get another drink.

We sat on stools at a window, I was alternating between stroking her leg and playing with her hair. I commented that her legs were very smooth and she told me that she’d had her entire body lazered . Good girl. I could see she was getting very horny now;

On a scale of 1 to 10, how horny are you right now?


I pulled her in and kissed her before pushing her away and whispering into her ear;

Want to know what I’m going to do to you when I get you home?


I’m going to slowly peel off each layer of clothing and kiss every part of your body until you beg me to fuck you

Take me home now

Her drink was already finished but I still had half a pint and I have a strict leave no beer behind policy. I had a dilemma, I compromised by taking one big swig, grabbing her hand and pulling her out of the bar.

We walked quickly to my apartment and once inside she ran ahead of me into my bedroom and threw herself on the bed with her legs akimbo. I made her wait until I put some music on because I knew Ricky was in his room with his girl. “Hurry!!” she pleaded.

I joined her on the bed, kissing her on the lips before moving down to her neck. I pulled her upright and removed her top. As I stood up to take off my t-shirt she pulled my shorts and boxers down in one fell swoop and proceeded to suck my cock like her life depended on it. I pushed her back onto the bed, removed her shorts and underwear in the same manner and licked her out before turning her around to lick her ass (it was very clean), she started screaming;


Say please

Pleeeeeease, FUCK ME, pleeeeease

Say pretty please

Pretty pretty please FUCK MEEEEE

I slapped on a condom and carried out my duties. It was some of the best sex I’ve had on this daygame adventure and I thanked the daygame Gods as she continued to scream “Pleeeease” whilst I banged her from every angle I could think of. Half way through the condom came off and I didn’t have anymore left. I decided to proceed without it and she didn’t kick up a fuss.

I gave her the debrief asking her when she had decided to have sex;

When I heard you strum on that guitar I knew that I wanted you deep inside me

How sweet.

It was now around 7.30pm and the sex had clearly been too much for her because she passed out on my bed. I let her snooze as I watched Fauda on netflix, it felt highly appropriate to be watching a show with lots of women in hijabs having just banged one who should be wearing one. Eventually she awoke at 11pm for round two and this time was even better with both of us cuming at the same time. I don’t think that’s ever happened from a daygame lay before, it must be love.

It was now around 1am and I had work the next day and she had a flight to catch back to Saudi Arabia the next morning. I walked her back to the same bus stop and off she went into the night probably never to be seen again.

Allahu Akbar!

Lay Report(s): I’ve Always Liked Long Leads


I’ve been back in London for just over a month and it has been eventful to say the least. I’ve tried to get back into a healthy routine with better nutrition and more gym, however, booze has still played a large part. I’ve started a new job, which I almost got fired from due to sheer idiocy on my part (this may have something to do with the boozing). I’ve done some daygame and it has largely been terrible. 63 sets in total so far, 14 closes and two dates to nowhere from those leads. I went on another date to nowhere with a Serbian girl that I met on my most recent trip there, she bored me to tears with tales of her struggles to get a UK visa, I didn’t care, I just wanted to bang her and I think she picked up on this.

A couple of Sundays ago I was spring cleaning my old whatsapp chats and I got all the way down to March 2018. There was four girls that I closed when I was back in London for a couple of days between moving back from Australia and heading to Manchester. I read through the chats and realised that they were all keen and I was the one who stopped replying because of bad logistics on my part. I sent all four the exact same ping – “Hey trouble, Guess who’s back in town”.

4 out of 4 replied.

The first was a Romanian girl I closed on the street, she replied a few times but then ghosted when I invited her out.

The second was a lead from bar game, I got her out last week and banged her. She was English but her parents were from Hong Kong so she looked Asian. I had a great time with her and even had her around for a repeat. However, she was only a 6 and I probably won’t see her again, but a notch is a notch as they say.

The third was a very cute little English girl, 20 years old. She replied enthusiastically confirming a date for a Friday night. I thought it was on. However, when I pinged her on the Friday lunch time she replied quickly and then blocked me.

The fourth was a cute girl from Italy, here’s the story…

It was the most internationally celebrated day of the year – St. Patricks day, and I was out in London with the lads. I should have been jet-lagged having only got off the plane from Australia the previous day, but I was in great spirits. The quality of girls on the streets was much higher than what I’d become accustomed to in Melbourne, I was happy to see my mates and we’d had a couple of beers. It was around 10pm and most of the other lads had gone home so Xants and I decided to do a few laps of Leicester square and see if we could bounce a two-set or two into the casino. I saw a cute little girl with big pointy glasses and long black wavy hair walk towards me at a brisk pace. I peeled off from Xants and got in front. I can’t remember much about what was said only that she was Italian, lived in London studying biochemistry and was in a hurry to meet her friends. I took her number and off she went into the night.


After some texting back and forth I eventually got her out on Wednesday evening past. Giulia arrived a few minutes late looking hot in a figure hugging black dress, red lipstick and had nice legs on display. She was around 160cm tall – the perfect height for a girl in my opinion. Immediately she fell in to my frame, big smile, kiss on both cheeks and she latched onto my forearm as I led the way.

I walked her to Bok bar which is a nice pub in Marylebone where you can sit outside. We chatted about how we met and how exciting it was, she told me how she thought we would never meet again. Giulia was leaving town for good on Friday, she would spend her last night having a farewell party. The fact that she was spending her penultimate night with me was a good sign.

The conversation flowed and the drinks were soon finished, I bounced her to the next venue which I had pre-booked, an awesome little underground speakeasy. We sat on a big couch and she melted into it, hooking her knees up and leaning them against my leg as we played the questions game. Her first question was “why are you single?” and I told her the simplest answer “I haven’t found the right girl yet”… I babbled on for about 10 minutes on this subject. Her next question was

Do you talk to girls on the street often?

You weren’t the first, you probably won’t be the last, but I don’t do it all the time. I hate online dating and have had a few bad experiences with it. Nowadays, if I see a pretty girl, she looks in a good mood and most importantly I’M in a good mood, I’ll say hello. Someone has to be chivalrous in this modern age of tinder and love island bullshit.

Giulia was mesmerised and she told me that she loved my long answers, she probably knew that I’d had plenty of practice. We had two glasses of wine and spoke about all sorts before I eventually went for the kiss. There was no resistance, she was all in. I got the bill and said “let’s go”. I walked us to my front door, upon arrival I announced “I live here, let’s go in for one more glass of wine”. She agreed.

I took her straight to the bedroom and didn’t even bother giving her a tour of the flat. She kicked off her black plimsoles and lay on the couch with an expectant smile on her face. I poured the wine and picked up my guitar and blasted out Wonderwall, the hardest song to play on the guitar. She looked at me as I played as if to say “Will you just fuck me already?!”

I put the guitar down and put some music on, I walked over to her and she pounced on me. I had warmed her up so much that she was like a pressure cooker exploding when I eventually went for it. She pulled my top over my head as she frantically kissed me, I picked her up and threw her on the bed. All our clothes were off within seconds and she was sucking on my cock like it was as tasty as a twister ice lolly. She insisted I wore a condom but the sex was still great, I lasted an entire five minutes and she thanked me afterwards. “Wow, you’re really in good in bed!” She proclaimed. I wasn’t, I had got her so horny that even boring missionary would have satisfied this girl.

I rolled off and we cuddled for a few minutes, it was now around 11pm and I had work the next day. She wanted round two and I told her that I had no condoms left, which was the truth. I thought this would get me out of having to go again but Giulia enthusiastically announced “don’t worry, I have some in my bag!”. Great. We went again but I couldn’t cum. Moments later I lay there and yawned, she took the hint and said that she should get going. We got dressed and I walked her back to the tube. We both knew that we would probably never see each other again, but neither of us cared, we enjoyed each others company for one night. These type of nights are exactly the reason why I love daygame.

Lay Report: I open off a huge IOI

This is pretty much exactly what she wore, minus the glasses, and drop a HB point.

I was out drinking on Saturday night (Surprise!) with Seven and Nick. It had been another eventful day – I’d been on a second date with one girl, did some daygame and got a few numbers, idated a high eight (I never got her out since) and watched Toni Kroos save Germanys bacon in the World Cup. All of this seemed like good cause to hit the bars. We were sat on stools at a long table. Nick was in set with some cute girl behind us which left Seven and I to chat amongst ourselves. A two-set sat down to my left. One of them was blonde and dressed all in black and wore a choker, her friend was a chubby Asian girl. I clocked the blondie looking at me and then doing a couple of double takes. Did I know this girl?

Seven, that girl over there keeps looking at me

Man! Go talk to her!

Can’t be arsed, I’m going out the back for a cigarette.

So I went for a fag. When I came back a few minutes later Seven announced…

Maaaaan, you have to open that girl, she stared at you as you walked out for a cigarette

Ah FFS, ok, ok

I wasn’t keen on opening because her friend was ugly and the blondie was a low 7, even with my beer goggles on. But open I did.

Blondie was very excited when I said hello and her and her friend started asking me lots of questions. There wasn’t much game involved, she just liked me. After a few minutes I decided I couldn’t be bothered hanging out with the pair of these girls all evening so I asked for the blondies number and she gave it to me.

After 30mins or so the lads and I departed for another bar. As I walked out I saw the blondie and her friend getting chatted up by a very tall man in a cap. Whore.

When we sat down in the next bar I pinged the blondie on the off chance I’d get her out later that same evening. She said “Why not” and then ghosted for the rest of the evening. I assumed that the tall fella was getting his end away.

At around 2pm the next day I pinged her (and the rest of my leads) as I was eating a three-course “business lunch” for 345 roubles – that’s about £4.50. To my surprise she replied almost instantly. Maybe she didn’t get banged by the tall fella. Blondie told me that she would be leaving the city on Wednesday. I had dates lined up for the next couple of days so I proposed that we meet on Tuesday evening. She agreed.

Tuesday was a proper cluster fuck. It was my penultimate night and I had agreed to meet three different girls in a last ditch attempt to get laid once more. The first was Dasha, a long lead that I opened in London two years ago, I also met her last year. I turned up at the meeting point at 18:30 as agreed, I pinged her as I arrived and she replied very confused “wait!… we said tomorrow??!”. As I was walking to this date that wasn’t a date another girl pinged me asking what I was up to and if I’d like to meet, I told her I was busy. Upon learning that Dasha wasn’t coming I messaged the other girl back and now she would be busy and only free at mid-night. I told her that was fine as I would be meeting blondie at 20:30 so that should give me plenty of time.

Blondie confirmed our meeting earlier in the day with the caveat that she would be driving and so could not drink any alcohol. FUCK. I told her to to park up on a street very near my apartment (although I didn’t tell her it was near my apartment) and we would walk from there. She eventually arrived at almost 9pm looking very different. Blondie wore bright red lipstick, a red figure hugging dress and black high heels. As she got closer to me I thought “she looked hotter when I was drunk but I’d definitely bang her”. This is the trouble with bar game, kids. Her face looked a little weathered but her body was fantastic. Slim and toned, this girl was clearly a fan of the gym.

We exchanged the pleasantries and I walked her in the direction of a piano bar at the end of my street. We sat on stools at the bar, she ordered a virgin cocktail and I got myself a girl sized beer, they didn’t have man size. I found out a bit more about blondie – she worked in marketing, was 24, was from somewhere on the East coast of Russia, was an only child and lived in Saint Petersburg with her best friend from University. I told her some things about me before bouncing her to another venue a couple of doors up.

This venue was much worse, it was bright, very busy and had the Nigeria vs Argentina game on in the background. Blondie had a coffee this time and I another girl sized beer. We sat on stools at a small high table. I started the questions game and her first question was – “why are you single?” I gave her my usual spiel which is a mix of truth and some elaborate DHV’s – she lapped it up.  I asked her what her favourite body part was and she said her lips, they were quite big. We asked each other a few more questions and soon my small beer and her coffee were finished.

Let’s go for a walk

Where will we go?

Just up this way

We walked for around 5 minutes until we were in front of my apartment.

I live here, lets go up for a little while, I’ve got green tea and some soft drinks.

Oh, really?

Yes, don’t worry, you can leave if you feel uncomfortable at any point.

Up she came. I told her to take her shoes off as we entered the flat and she flicked her heels off in seconds before proceeding to show herself around the apartment as I struggled with my boots. I put on some music and put the kettle on. I made her a cup of green tea and poured myself a glass of red wine. I could tell she felt a little uncomfortable so we sat opposite each other at the dining table for 10 minutes or so as she drank her tea.

I started to show her my facebook on my laptop and explain each photo, she was fascinated. I asked her to show me her instagram and she leaned over the table showing me her pictures on her phone. I grabbed her hand and told her that it was uncomfortable sitting like this. I stood up and pulled her over to the bed. We sat up on the bed beside each other and moments later I pulled her in for the first kiss attempt, she was all in, no resistance. Soon we were rolling around and my left hand was rubbing her wet vagina. She pushed me away…

Do you mind if I take a shower?

Of course not

I got off her, showed her how to work the shower and gave her a towel. I assumed this could only mean that I was getting laid. I lay on the bed, fully clothed as she showered. When she returned she was down to her lacy red underwear. Her body was fantastic, small breasts, flat stomach with toned abs and a great little ass. She jumped on top of me and moments later my clothes were off and I was fucking her hard. I came very quickly (I’m not used to drinking so little on dates) but she did not seem disappointed.

I gave her the usual debrief and she told me that she had decided to have sex with me the moment she saw me in the bar. So, it was a definite IOI then. We cuddled for a few minutes and then she started sucking me off in a effort to resurrect my penis. Back to life it came and I banged her again for around 20 minutes this time.

Soon after this she got herself dressed and I walked her back to her car before going to meet the lads for a few drinks. I never did meet the other girl at midnight but I wasn’t arsed.




Lay Report: 18 y/o Cutie

Similar, with bluer eyes and curly hair

I am currently on the last leg of my 2018 Eurojaunt with just under two weeks to go. I have been in this city for a week and it’s gotten off to a great start; the other day I banged a tight little 18-year-old pussy. Here’s the story…

It was Friday afternoon, and I was quite hung-over having arrived the previous evening and proceeding to get drunk with the latest motley crew (Nick, Ricky Roma, Mr Arr, Seven and Mr Arr’s friend). As Ricky and I took a walk towards the mall I saw a cute little blonde girl stuffing her face with a cookie in her left hand and a Starbucks coffee in her right hand. Neither of us had done a set yet so I looked at Ricky and he said “all yours”. She had blond curly hair, bright blue eyes, a full face with prominent cheekbones and big pink lips. She was dressed very casual – a hoody with a denim jacket, baggy jeans and some trainers. Jane was a solid 7.

I got in front and I have no recollection of what was said – I remember that she hooked fast asking where I was from, her English was good and I teased her about having cookie all over her face. I found out she was 18 and in her first year of Study as a lawyer and was from a little village far away. I’m assuming that I ran my usual stack and that I told her where I was from. At the end of the set she said that she had to go to the station to meet her dad and would be free after that. I proposed that we get a coffee later that day and she agreed.

I returned to Ricky with a grin on my face;

Think I’ve got a date later

Fuckin’ A

One hour later we met at the same spot. Jane had wiped the cookie crumbs from her face and had put a little bit of make-up on (she wasn’t wearing any when we met) but was still wearing the same clothes, she looked very cute. I had no real plan as to where I was taking her so we just started walking. We walked for about 30mins as we went through the comfort fluff, she told me about her recent travel and I told her mine. We sat down at a coffee shop and she told me about living in student halls and how she would be moving into her own apartment soon. It was all very civilised. As we finished our coffees I put the feelers out for a second date asking her if she liked to drink wine.

I like wine but I prefer whiskey

Great, lets meet another day and I’ll take you for a real drink

Sounds great

We agreed to meet the following Monday night at 8pm.

Jane did not disappoint

We met at a central metro station and she was a couple of minutes late. I got an instant boner when I saw her. Jane had done her hair, had more make-up on, and wore a green dress that showed off a little bit of cleavage and her long legs. She wore long black high heels that now made her taller than me. FUCK. I felt under-dressed (in jeans and a t-shirt as usual) and was nervous in her presence for the first few minutes, she had shot up to a solid 8.

We exchanged pleasantries and off we walked to a wine bar. When we got there it was full so I had to improvise another venue. We walked for another 10 minutes or so and the best place I could find was a dingy nightclub where we sat in the window. She was way over-dressed for the place so we had one quick drink in there as I started the questions game. I bounced us to another venue close to my apartment, which luckily was very dark inside and had couches at the back. This was much better.

I found out she had only ever had one boyfriend of 3 years and had been on a few dates to nowhere since then. Jane was a professional dancer as well as a law student. Her mother and father separated when she was very young (YES!), her father lives in the capital city, her mum in the village. Jane loves to travel and had been to America, Canada and Italy recently, it was her dream to travel to the UK and Ireland. Jane was embarrassed to tell me that she had won a beauty competition at her University and showed me pictures of her accepting the award. She looked stunning.

I was kinoing throughout the date and about 30mins into the second venue she said;

I’ve noticed that you are touching me a lot, but it’s the first time that someone else’s touch felt so comfortable. With other men it feels like they are pawing at me awkwardly.

Well it feels nice touching you, but be warned, my hands have a mind of their own, I don’t actually control them

Soon after this I went for the first kiss and she was all in. We finished the drinks and kissed again more passionately this time. I felt it was time to try for the bounce to the apartment. I got the check and told her that we should go for a walk. As we were walking I said;

I know a really cool place with free wine and a nice couch

Let me guess, it’s your apartment (Smart girl)

Correct! And look, we just happen to be right in front of the entrance

Hahaha, you are cunning like a fox


I’m afraid I cannot do this

Just a quick drink, you can leave if you feel uncomfortable

No, I cannot

OK, no problem

We carried on walking and it was now almost midnight. The boys were texting me saying that they were going for drinks so I told her I would walk her back to the metro and then go join my friends. And that’s what I did.

I had pulled pretty hard on the first date and sensed that there was probably too much tension on the line. I pinged her on the Tuesday and invited her for an afternoon coffee date on Wednesday afternoon to get some more comfort in. She agreed.

We agreed to meet at 15:30 at the same metro station. I got there on time and she messaged me to say that she would be 15mins late. I told her to meet me at the coffee shop across the road. Again I was hungover so I ordered myself a double shot Americano as I waited for her. She arrived looking a lot more casual in a black coat and a black and white stripey boob tube, which showed off her flat-stomached mid-rif with some baggy trousers and trainers.

My vibe was very flat and I explained to her why it was so. As we got to the end of the coffees I asked what she was doing for the rest of the afternoon.

Oh, I thought I was spending it with you?

Well, I told my friends I would hang out with them after the coffee, unless you have something better in mind?

Well, my friends have invited me to their place to play board games, but I really don’t want to go

Sounds like loads of fun!

Maybe we can go for a walk instead?

I agreed and we walked for about an hour until we were way out of town. As we walked, we kissed, cuddled and took selfies together along the way. I announced that my old man legs were tired and that I was thirsty. She said she knew a nice rooftop coffee shop nearby. Up we went and had some coffee and cake, it was all very nice. We chatted and she told me how she found the 16-year age gap between us a bit strange. I told her that I loved the 16-year age gap and she giggled. We finished the coffee and got the metro back to the centre.

It was now around 8pm as we were about to depart the station. I told her;

You have two choices; 1. Come back to my place for a glass of wine or 2. I go meet up with my friends and we can meet another day

You know, I reeeeeally don’t want to go play board games

Wine it is then 

OK, OK, but promise I can leave when I want?

Of course.

Back she came, she took her shoes off and sat on the couch as I poured the wine and put some music on. We watched almost of all the flight of the concords album on youtube as she laughed her head off. I pulled her in for the kiss and she was very into it, it was on.

I moved her to the bedroom to give her a “massage” and after a few minutes I had her top off and was sucking on her nice little boobies. Soon after this she uttered the magic words;

Do you have protection?

Of course I do

The sex was great, probably my favourite bang this year. Jane had a fantastically tight, toned body and moaned loudly as I licked her clean asshole, spanked her hard and pulled hair as I banged her doggy style.

During the debrief I asked her when she had decided to have sex.

When my favourite song randomly came on your youtube playlist, I knew it was meant to be

Gotta love girl logic. At around midnight I ordered Jane an Uber home, she had mentioned that when she got the metro back after the first date every man was ogling and heckling her, further evidence that she looked very fucking hot. Jane is very sweet and I even banged her again last night, yes, me Roy Walker, doing a repeat. How times have changed.


Lay Report: 21 y/o Curly Haired Serb

For once, I found a picture that actually looks like her.

I bagged my 51st daygame notch on the penultimate night of my latest trip to Belgrade. The pressure was mounting and it was starting to look like I wouldn’t be getting laid in my favourite city for the first time. But then I did. Here’s the story…

It was a lazy Monday afternoon; around 30 degrees Celsius and most of the pretty girls seemed to be hiding from the sun, or lapping it up elsewhere. Nick had an afternoon date so I decided I would park myself up at a coffee shop and read my book as I waited for the temperature to drop.

One moment I was reading about how Luftwaffe commander Herman Göring (off his face on morphine at the time) made a balls up of Dunkirk – essentially grabbing defeat from the jaws of victory for the Germans in WW2. The next moment my spider sense tingled. I saw a dreamy girl float by at the top of my peripheral vision. I looked up from my book to get a better look. She was short, on the limit of my nice curves/too chubby cut-off point with big hips and a narrow waist, had dark black curly hair and strong facial features, she looked almost Persian, however I didn’t get a good look at her eyes as she was wearing those stupid metallic reflective lenses.

I let her pass and went back to my book thinking nothing of it. After a couple of coffees, a protein shake and about 50 pages of my book I decided to get up and go for a stroll. I only had three days left in Belgrade and had plenty of leads and not enough time to see them all. I had a date lined up for that very evening but I was starting to suspect that she would flake as she hadn’t replied to my lunch time ping. I was still happy to open sets, but I wouldn’t be throwing myself in front of any buses.

As I ambled up Knez Mihailova towards Hotel Moskva I saw a short girl with a backpack standing in the middle of the square playing on her phone. I opened and she seemed very keen. I went to take her number and she told me that she was only 16. I took her instagram and told her “maybe next year, little lady”. She seemed disappointed.

I walked around for another 30 minutes or so not seeing anything that took my fancy. Then I saw the same girl I noticed when I was at the coffee shop. She walked by me and there was no IOI but my spider sense tingled, again. I got in front.

Excuuuuse me, I have to tell you something a little bit cheeky, I saw you back there and I thought you looked really cute – I like these big black curly locks you have, they’re very 1950’s almost like Marilyn Monroe, except black.

She moved her sunglasses down the bridge of her nose and looked me up and down with her big brown eyes before a smile broke out on her face.

Thank you, where are YOU from?

I’ll give you one guess

Look I’m really in a hurry, I like you, you seem nice, do you want my number?

Never sell past the yes, thought me. We exchanged numbers and off she went. The entire set was about thirty seconds long but I had a very good feeling about it.

As the evening progressed I still hadn’t heard from the girl I was supposed to meet that evening. I pinged Curly and she responded relatively quickly, so I thought I’d try to get her out that night. I wouldn’t normally move so fast, but I was running out of time and I knew she was keen despite the short set.

She proposed Tuesday, I already had two dates booked in so I postponed the late slot (I’d already had two dates with her and still hadn’t kissed her) and replaced her with Curly for the Tuesday night as I thought she was more on. Curly was insisting that nothing would happen but drinks and tried to grab the frame by deciding the meeting point. I responded to the first shit test humorously and conceded the frame to win the war on the second.

We arranged to meet on Tuesday at 8pm. I’d already had a couple of drinks on a time-waster date (I’ll write about this in my summary post) earlier that day so I was really hoping this one would not go the same way.

Curly was 20mins or so late but I could see she had made a hell of an effort and quickly forgave her. She had a bit more make-up on, wore a pink blouse, a black leather skirt and black high heels. Curly was a low 7, but she was trying her hardest this evening to bump herself up. I was in jeans and a t-shirt, as usual.

I walked her to a venue that was close to my apartment. It was a 10-minute walk, so I finished the rest of what would normally be my set as we walked. I told her where I was from, what I was doing in Belgrade and how long I would be staying for. She was disappointed to find out I’d be leaving in a couple of days.

I asked her if she’d like to sit inside or out, she chose the former. Curly parked herself on a couch and I sat to her left hand side. I got myself a large beer and she ordered a Krauser girl sized beer, we said “Zivelli” and she lit up a cigarette moments later. I love it when girls drink AND smoke; it massively increases the odds of a notch. We made our way through the comfort fluff and I dropped intermittent spikes throughout which she loved. I found out Curvy was 21 and lived with her older sister – her parents were divorced (YES!). She’d just finished a philosophy degree and now had no idea what she was going to do with her life.

I got a second round in, this time switching to G&T, she had a glass of wine and I ramped up the escalation with the questions game. Curvy told me how she gets approached all the time on Knez Mihailova, especially by groups of Indian men who would surround her and grope her whilst asking if she would like to go for dinner. She found my approach much more natural and liked my confidence. I didn’t tell her that it had taken me almost 4 years and over 3000 sets to get to that “natural” style.

Curly told me she only ever had one boyfriend who was also her only sexual partner. I asked her how she rated herself at kissing and she said 8.7. I told her I was a 10 and she smiled. It was now around 10:30pm and she was starting to get a little tipsy. Curly mentioned several times throughout the date that she wasn’t expecting to have this much fun on a first meeting, especially with such an old man (I was the oldest guy she’d been on a date with). I still hadn’t kissed her at this point when she told me that she had to meet her sister in an hour or so. This was my cue to pay the bill and start walking us towards my apartment. As we walked she asked where we were going…

A place around the corner with free wine and nice couches

Your place?


OK, as long as you promise not to kill me.

I remembered I hadn’t pinged Nick to tell him we were coming back. I quickly text him “bouncing” as we were in the lift up to our floor. By the time we got inside the apartment he was still in the living room so I walked Curly to the kitchen and poured us some wine before taking her straight to my bedroom.

I put some music on and sat on a chair to take my shoes off, I told her to do the same as she sat on the couch. I moved across to sit beside her and moments later went in for the first kiss. She was all in. Unfortunately she wasn’t an 8.7 at kissing, maybe a 7 at best. I pulled away and she said…

I told you just drinks, you have not behaved like you said you would.

I said I would TRY to behave.

Moments later the clothes were off and she said the magic words – “do you have protection?”. No LMR whatsoever.

I slapped on the condom and blew my load within about 5 minutes. She didn’t seem too disappointed but the sex was pretty mediocre compared to my last girl, but I guess a notch is a notch.

During the debrief I asked her when she’d decided to have sex, she said as soon as she agreed to come up to the apartment. I ordered her the local equivalent of an uber moments later and she was out of the apartment by 23:20. I went to a bar to join Nick as he puffed on a cigar and sipped on rum to celebrate the completion of his latest book, Younger Hotter Tighter, I believe it’s called.

As I sat there sipping on the rum I couldn’t help but feel a little underwhelmed. I used to be ecstatic after a notch. Was my relentless notch count hyena finally abating? Possibly. But I think it was more to do with the fact that I don’t go to Belgrade to bang low 7’s, especially after being on multiple dates with 8’s and even a 9 (PUA adjudicated by Xants) in the same city. I guess I’ll have to go back for them.

Lay Report: Horny Hungarian

Add septum piercing.

Last night I bagged my 50th daygame notch and 34th flag. There was no fan fare or big boss to fight as a reward for completing another level, but it is a milestone nonetheless. It’s quite a good story though…

As mentioned in my previous lay report, the trip had been going pretty terribly up until the second half of last Wednesday. I opened this girl after spotting her in the queue ahead of me at a convenience shop. I had ploughed through almost 40 sets in Budapest since my arrival the previous Sunday up until this one good one. Let’s pick-up where I left off and fill in the blanks…

As I queued to pay I saw a really cute girl in line ahead of me. After we both made our purchases I opened her outside. She opened like a Christmas tree telling me of her love of all things Irish and how she even tried Irish dancing when she visited. I invited her out right there and then for the next evening (Thursday), she told me she’d already agreed to meet another guy for a date. Theres no way he can be as charming and handsome as me, I countered. She giggled, we exchanged Instagram’s and hopefully that will be a separate lay report of its own.

And so it is.

Sandra was just a little shorter than me and had long jet black hair tied up in a pony tail. She wore big pointy glasses and had her septum pierced. She wore a tight white t-shirt which showed off her flat mid-rif underneath a long black and white cardigan with baggy jeans that had mini-mouse stamps all over them. She looked different and I told her this when I opened her. Sandra was a solid 7.

I found out that she was a barista in a coffee shop, had been to Ireland a couple of times and was an avid Irish dancer. Sandra loved to dance, travel and drink beer, especially Guinness. It was like the Daygame Gods were rewarding me for my persistence through the previous days of hard slog. We had a lot in common and she seemed to have a good sense of humour. I was conscious that I only had a few days left in the city so I invited her out the next evening whilst I was in set. She told me that she had already agreed to meet another guy. I found it a bit strange that she would tell me this in set and it led me to believe that this girl had some R-selected traits – always a good indicator for fast sex.

The next day I sent her a photo ping and asked her how her day was. She replied a couple of hours later saying that she was really, really tired. I knew she had a date that night so I replied;

“You should get some rest tonight and I will take you for a drink at the weekend ;)”

It seemed she did just that, I had a look at her instagram story later that evening and she had put up a video of her at home watching cartoons.

We agreed to meet last night (Saturday) at 8.15pm for beers. I had had a horrible day up until that point and I wouldn’t have minded if she flaked on me. I got in the previous evening at around 2am and then was awoken at 7am the next morning by plumbers who were trying to repair the toilet in our apartment. On Friday afternoon our landlord came knocking on our door and told us we had to stop using the toilet in the flat immediately. She didn’t speak great English so she asked me to go downstairs to the coffee shop underneath with her. I thought “oh this is nice, she’s going to buy me a coffee”. She took me behind the counter of the coffee shop and opened a store room door to reveal a big hole in the roof and debris all over the floor.

Epic shit.

What remains of the toilet.



Pipes burst, flood, roof fall

Oh shit

Yes, we must replace pipes and toilet

How long will that take?

Not sure, a week, Monday earliest

Great – no toilet in the flat until the day I was due to leave. But enough about that, let’s get back to the girl.

I decided to meet her at 8:15 so that I could watch Manchester United vs. Chelsea in the FA Cup final. I watched the game and my team lost so I really wasn’t in the best of moods as I went to meet her.

I was a couple of minutes late and she was standing there waiting for me. Sandra had done her hair up into what I can only describe as a game of thrones like crown thing. I have no idea what it’s called, but it looked nice. Strangely everything else was casual, she wore a light-weight space grey hoody, a white t-shirt, baggy jeans and converse.

You look uhhm, nice – I was perplexed.

We exchanged pleasantries and I walked us to the same venue 1 that I took the previous girl to. The conversation was a bit awkward as we walked, she was very quiet and giving me one word answers so I resorted to commenting on everything that was going on around me to fill in the gaps. When we finally got to the bar it was completely dead. I got a round in and she chose the strongest beer on the menu. Good sign.

I’m glad it’s quiet in here, I’ll be able to hear you speak

Sorry I am being quiet, I’m just very nervous

Don’t worry, I’ll carry the conversation until you drink enough beer.

Sandra relaxed. We sat outside on a bench beside each other and she told me about her life in Budapest. I found out she was 24 and still had a normal family life, with mother and father still together. Her father had bought her an apartment in which she now lived alone. She told me more about her love for Irish dancing and how she won an award for being the best barista in Budapest the previous year. She told me about all her travels and I gave her some stories of my own. The conversation was finally flowing and Sandra was drinking her beer faster than me so we got another round in. Sandra also smoked a lot of cigarettes which always makes girls more likely to bang. I was pretty sure it was on.

After the second round was done I went to bounce her to the same rock bar right beside my apartment but it was packed with it being a Saturday night. I walked us to another venue 5 or so minutes away from the flat which was a fancy speakeasy. Sandra complained that the place was too fancy for her. You’ll be fine I countered.

I ordered us two old fashioned cocktails as we sat on a couch beside each other. I started the questions game and things got sexual very quickly.

What is your lucky number?

I don’t know, 7?

You’ve only had sex with 7 girls?!

Ooooooh that lucky number. I have no idea

I keep a list, mine is 14. You must have an idea.

Little did Sandra know that she was on track to be daygame notch number 50.

Well, obviously I’m older than you so my number is going to be higher. I’d estimate around 70 or 80.

This was an honest guess if I include night-game and pre-game lays. Sandra looked impressed.

How do you score yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 at kissing?

9, you?


I looked around the room and kept my mouth shut. Sandra re-opened;

Would you like to kiss me?

If you insist

Sandra was all in with tongue down my throat and hands clawing at my face and neck. It was definitely on.

I asked for the check and we started walking in the direction of my apartment. Sandra asked where we were going and I told her that we were going to my flat to drink wine. She did not object.

As we got into the flat I told her to take her shoes off as we entered before giving her to tour. This is where the earlier toilet story comes in to play. I showed her my room, the kitchen, the shower room and finally the toilet.

I hope you don’t need the toilet because, as you can see, we only have a hole in the ground at the moment

Hahaha, what the hell?! I actually need to pee

Uhhhhm, you can pee in the shower if you like, as long as you rinse it down afterwards.

Oh jesus

Come on, it will be a funny story for your list

Ok, ok, please get me some toilet paper and I will pee in the shower

And so she did. After this the rest was easy. No LMR whatsoever. The sex was very kinky and I banged her in more positions than I normally do. She had a great body with large breasts and a good ass for spanking and she really seemed to enjoy sex. Sandra took particular joy in sucking on my left testicle which I found strange. I asked her if she was ok because at one point she lay there for about 2 minutes with my right nut in her mouth.

I’m fine, I just like the taste of your sweaty testicles

Lovely. After this I banged her raw-dog and came 3 times, a rare feat for me. Sandra told me she wanted to go home soon after this so I walked her to her bus stop. At this point Sandra asked me to go back to hers with her as she didn’t want to sleep alone. As she asked me this I thought about my recent pumpin’ n’ dumpin’ escapades and decided that I would try to be nice to a girl after banging her for once. So I agreed. I slept in her bed and banged her again in the morning before saying my goodbyes. I told her to let me know the next time she comes to London and we can go for a drink, and you know what, I might even follow through on that.






Lay Report: 20 y/o Italian K girl

Macy had shorter hair, white skin and green eyes. So nothing like this girl at all.

I arrived in Budapest on Sunday it has largely been Shitsville. That was until last night (Thursday) when I raw dogged a tight 20 year old vagina. Here’s the story….

The quality had been poor and the sets few and far between. I went out all day Monday and Tuesday to “farm” doing around 30 sets in total and only coming away with a few weak leads.

On Wednesday I woke up determined to get some solid ones. My wing, the Cheshire Cat, was taking forever to get ready on Wednesday morning so I headed out solo and told him to text me when he was finished doing his hair.

Before he joined me I had done 9 sets already, notch hyena was hungry. They were a mixture of blowouts and no hook-pointers. The only girl that did hook told me she had a boyfriend at the end of a 10 minute set. I was fuming.

When CC finally got his shit together he proceeded to lifestyle coach me.

Maaaaaate, you need to relax, take a chill pill,Breeeathe.

It helped my vibe immensely (note sarcasm). We started taking turns to open and I got another blowout, I was at tipping point. I can’t remember the last time I did 10 sets and got SFA.

I’m very aware of my own ego and sometimes I use it to spur myself on, this was one such occasion. I was walking along muttering to myself “I’m fuckin’ Roy Walker, these bang average bitches have no right to reject me, I WILL GET LAID HERE”.

We went to the shop in the University area in Kalvin square so I could buy a kefir yoghurt in an effort to heal my tormented gut. As I queued to pay I saw a really cute girl in line ahead of me. After we both made our purchases I opened her outside. She opened like a Christmas tree telling me of her love of all things Irish and how she even tried Irish dancing when she visited. I invited her out right there and then for the next evening (Thursday), she told me she’d already agreed to meet another guy for a date. Theres no way he can be as charming and handsome as me, I countered. She giggled, we exchanged Instagram’s and hopefully that will be a separate lay report of its own.

With that, my vibe had sky-rocketed from rock bottom to Uhuru summit in the space of 10 minutes. All it takes is one good set.

CC and I took a walk up towards Deak Ferenc and it was my turn to open again. I saw a cute little girl with brown frizzy hair, baggy clothes and a box full of art supplies in her arms. Just as she thought she was out of my peripheral vision she threw a sly IOI. CC and I both saw it. I wheeled around instantly and as I did so CC said something like

Shiiiiit, you bastard

I’m assuming he was jealous. Who knows.

As I got in front of her a beaming smile broke out on her face.

Excuuuuuse me, I have to tell you something a little bit cheeky… I saw you walking along and I thought you looked really cute so I had to say hi

She stood there mesmerised so I continued with the stack…

How can a little girl like you carry all this stuff? You must have strong arms.

Still mesmerised, I threw more bait out…

You have a different look, you’re definitely not Hungarian, I’d guess Italian.

Yeeeees, well I’m half Italian, half Hungarian.

HOOKITY HOOK HOOK, finally I had a live one.

Where were you born?


So you’re Italian.

She didn’t argue, where you are born is where you are from. Simples.

We chatted for 5 minutes or so as she struggled to hold up a box of spray cans under one arm and big rolls of paper under another.

I found out she was an artist and had only moved to Hungary 3 weeks ago to take up an art course which would start in June. She told me she doesn’t normally talk to strangers in the street, but she had no friends here yet so she was willing to try new things.


Eventually she (let’s call her Macy) started to complain that her arms were getting tired so she had to go. We exchanged Instagram’s and off she went. I went back to CC and declared “I’ve got a good feeling about that one”.

We did a few more sets and as we did so Macy sent me a flurry of messages. We agreed to meet the next evening for beers at 8pm.

I turned up on time and she was already there waiting and speaking to her sister on the phone. Macy had put some make-up on and wore a tight white blouse which made her surprisingly large boobs pop out, a black leather jacket and tight blue jeans. Her arse looked amazing and I was pleasantly surprised by her figure as she hid it underneath baggy clothes the previous day. Macy was a solid to high 7.

As I said hello she hung up the phone to her sister. We exchanged pleasantries and I started walking her to a bar close to my apartment.

We had one beer in the first venue as we got through all the comfort fluff. I found out she was only 20 years old and I was the oldest guy she’d ever met with. Macy told me that all her family were back in Italy and she was living with her grandmother in Budapest. I asked if she had a curfew, she said no. She told me this was the first time she’d ever met a stranger for a date, we talked about music and she seemed to like everything I did. We talked about extreme sports and she seemed to like everything I did. We talked about food, she told me that she made the best pizza and would make it for me one day. I told her that it wasn’t going to work out between us as I don’t eat pizza. She looked disappointed. She was gazing deeply into my eyes and her whole body did a little spasm every time I touched her and she was giggling at almost everything I said, I’m really not that funny. I knew it was on.

I bounced her to the next bar which was a rock bar with couches and also coincidentally right beside my apartment. I got another round in, we grabbed a couch and I started the questions game. We both drank the beers very slowly (I was still hungover from the previous night, and she’s a tiny girl) and I slowly ramped up the escalation.

I found out she’d only ever had sex with one man and that man was her only ever boyfriend. She’d never been a proper date. She’d never tried online dating. Her favourite body part was her eyes. When I asked her what type of guys she liked, she said they need to be loyal and trustworthy. All very K answers.

I pulled her in for the kiss and she pulled her head away and grabbed my arm digging her nails in whilst moaning in pleasure and pulling me into her.

That’s fine, I’ll only try to kiss you 5 more times.

She didn’t giggle but she looked at me with eyes that I interpreted as “take me home and fuck me now”.

I decided to de-escalate by asking her how tall she was, she said 168cm… I protested that that was not possible, she was at least a full head shorter than me. I got her to stand up and told her her real height, 155cm. After doing so I pulled her in again for the kiss whilst we were still standing. She didn’t pull away this time but just kept her face there totally still whilst digging her nails into both of my fore-arms. It was time to bounce.

I live close to here, let’s go up for one more drink and we can listen to some better rock music. If you feel uncomfortable you can leave whenever you want.

She hesitated before saying…

Ok, but I drink water, no more alcohol.

I told her to take her shoes off as we entered and gave her the tour. She took a seat at the kitchen table whilst I got myself a beer and poured her some water.

I moved us to the bedroom and onto the bed where it would be more comfortable to watch youtube videos on my laptop. We kissed and she lay there completely still.

Are you ok?

Um, I’m just really scared, I’ve never done this

You’re a virgin?

No I mean with a stranger and on the first night

I understand

I rolled off and played some more videos on youtube for 15mins or so before escalating again. This time I got some proper kissing and she started getting into it, biting my lip and digging her nails into my neck before freezing again and saying that it was too soon.

I rolled off again and played more videos before escalating again, this time getting her top off. This process would repeat another 4 or so times until I eventually got her completely naked to reveal a fantastic little body. I was fingering her vigorously from behind as she lay in the foetus position, she was moaning quite loudly and was now sopping wet. After about 90 minutes of LMR I finally slid my dick in raw dog and banged her for about two mins before blowing my load all over her back. Two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven.

She lay there cooing and giggling as I tickled her whilst she lay on top of me. I went out for a cigarette in the hope that she would put her clothes on and want to leave by the time I returned. When I got back she was still fully naked on top of the bed. Clearly two minutes in heaven was not enough for Macy.

I asked her the post sex questions whilst my semen regenerated. She didn’t decide when to have sex with me “it just happened” and she hadn’t had sex in over a year.

A few minutes later we went at it again and this time I lasted an entire 5 minutes. I always cum a lot quicker when they have hot little bodies and are a bit kinky. At around 2am she ordered her own taxi and was on her way back to her grandmothers.

Macy definitely wasn’t an R-girl. This was a rare instance of a K-girl stepping out in a new environment and dipping her toe in the water to see what it’s like. I have no doubt that she will be boyfriended up very quickly because she is a sweet little girl with a smoking hot body.

Macy was my third notch in just under 3 weeks since setting of on my travels. My daygame only tally now stands at 49. One more and I will gladly accept my membership to the mPUA hall of fame.

Lay Report: A Columbian Latina in EE

56b28b3ece505daaaa8862c693f2ca71 (1).jpg
Kind like this, except with a smaller waist and covered in tattoos and piercings

After a tricky start to my time in this city, normal service is starting to resume. I have a phone full of leads and not enough time to take them all out. I banged one of those leads on the first date last night. Here’s the story…

Last Saturday, around 6pm I was sipping on a gin and tonic whilst fishing with Mr S (a fellow Irishman and infrequent poster on City daygame) who had just arrived the previous evening. I still wasn’t back to 100% and was only opening 4 or 5 sets a day, I’d also just had my first notch so the hunger wasn’t quite there. As we sat there discussing the pros and cons of having Jose Mourinho as boss at United we both clock a real outlier passing by our table.

Valeria was fairly short with long brown curly hair. She was wearing a white t-shirt and big baggy hippy style pants (they were horrible). Both her arms were covered in dense tattoos and both of her lips were pierced. She was walking very slowly down the street as if she were floating. Mr S turned to me;

Roy, ye haaaf ta do dat one

Meeeeh, but she’s not even that hot (she’s a high 6 at best)

I knooooow, but ye just haaaff ta

Having been convinced my Mr S’s fool-proof argument, I got up and made chase.

Valeria had a loud American accent, however, it wasn’t the annoying nasally type, it was still quite pleasant. She was born in Colombia (this would be another new flag for me) hence the more exotic look, but her father was Serbian and they moved here when she was young. The set was going very smoothly until she pointed at my t-shirt and started laughing….

OH MY GOD, is that Donald Trump on your T-shirt

Yes, it is. Top marks for observation

Are you kidding me? You know I’m a feminist right?

My mother told me there are three things you should never speak to a woman about – Politics, religion and ex-boyfriends.

Well, I love to talk about politics and religion!

Good for you. But let’s save that for another time.

Having recovered the set I moved towards the number close and one of her male orbiter friends she was about to meet introduced himself to me. I quickly said hi to him before giving Valeria my phone so she could tap her number in.

Screen Shot 2018-05-08 at 15.23.56
More Roy Walker Text Game Mastery.

I met her at 8pm on Monday at the place where everyone meets in this city. She looked prettier having put on some make-up. Valeria had also put on some tight pants which showed off her rather large botswana.

We exchanged pleasantries before I told her I was taking her to an Irish bar. She told me that she doesn’t drink beer. I said fine, drink wine then. She doesn’t drink that either. Ok, drink Gin. She said, “Yes, I can drink that”.

We sat outside and went through the comfort fluff whilst sipping on G&T’s. She was actually a really interesting girl. Valeria told me how she is 21 and studying two degrees concurrently and how she is also a power lifter – should would be competing later in the year. The power-lifting combined with a mix of Columbian and Serbian genes would surely guarantee a fantastic backside thought me. She told me about what it was like to grow up in Columbia and then spend her teenage years in Serbia. I was having fun so we ordered another round of G&T’s. We drank those pretty quickly as we both smoked away at my cigarretes.

I told her I wanted to take her to another place and she had no hesitations. I paid the cheque and walked her to a quieter place at the end of the same road. We sat upstairs on a couch. I made sure that she sat on my left side to make the giant cold sore on the right corner of my mouth less obvious. She didn’t mention it once.

We ordered another round and I started escalating. I didn’t feel the need for the questions game because this girl had quite a strong frame and the conversation was pretty free flowing and getting more and more sexual anyway.

As we were half way through the drinks I told her I needed to go to the bathroom. As I got up I said;

I’m going to go to the toilet now, when I come back I’m going to try to kiss you. You will probably push me a way and that’s perfectly fine. But I’ll keep trying until you kiss me. 

Valeria broke out in a huge smile but looked at me as if to say “wow, this guy is not shy”.

As I came back from the toilet she got up to go to the ladies. I sat on the couch playing on my phone. When she came back she pounced on me, grabbing my face and pulling me in for the kiss. I tried my hardest to only use the left side of my mouth, but it was difficult as she was quite an aggressive girl.

I pushed her off and we resumed talking about the male/female mating strategies. This girl understood r/k theory and was saying things to me that I would normally say to girls on dates. It all felt a bit surreal and I told her this. She told me more about her fucked up child hood. Her father left when she was two and her mother used to and still does beat her. At this point I knew it was in the bag.

We finished the drinks and I told her we should go.

Is this the part where you invite me back to your place?

Wow, wow young lady. I’m not that easy. But you can come back if you insist.

I paid the cheque and walked her straight to the apartment. I gave her a little tour of the flat and she was very impressed. She sat on the couch in the living room as I got myself a beer from the fridge and poured her some water. I put on some music and minutes later all our clothes were on the floor. I quite enjoyed banging her doggy whilst spanking her big Columbian ass. It was a sight to behold.


I didn’t last very long the first time, so 20 minutes or so we went at it again. This girl was actually fun to bang but I probably won’t see her again. She was angling to stay over but I told her I don’t sleep very well with another girl in the bed. Soon after this she ordered herself an uber and off she went into the night. I just hope I haven’t given her herpes.

Lay Report: Croatian Rock Chick

Roxy had much bigger breasts and whiter skin. 

I’m back in one of my favourite daygame destinations and I’m finding it tough. I won’t reveal the precise location as there are “doxers” at the gate with nothing better to do than hate on other men.

I’ve been hit with three consecutive ailments since my arrival, first a vicious bout of diarrhoea which significantly depleted my vibe for a couple days. The next day I awoke with a blocked left ear passage and now I have a big cold sore on my mouth. I’ve been completely ignoring Krauser’s advice on how to culminate and nurture vibe and I am paying the price, for this I blame Xants, nothing to do with me, I’m the victim here. However, I swatted these obstacles aside to bag my first notch of the jaunt on the 5th night. Here’s the story…

Having arrived in our apartment in the late afternoon, Xants and I dropped our bags, had a quick spray of the smelly stuff and hit the streets. Xants was chomping at the bit and wasted no time in doing the first set. As we walked away from the main strip towards a popular meeting point Xants said “There’s one over there if you want it”. This is why he is such a good wing. We have a strict system where we take turns doing sets, if it’s your turn and you don’t want it, your wing is free to do it. I only saw her from behind and she was walking away from us at quite a pace, but it looked good enough, I would indeed take my turn.

Roxy was quite tall at just a couple of centimetres shorter than me, she had long black hair almost down to her bum, was dressed from head to toe in tight black clothes including a big leather choker with metal studs around her neck and wore dark purple lip stick.

I got in front and I knew I had hook point before I even opened. She planted herself as I reeled off some gibberish. I can’t actually remember what I said, probably something along the lines of her being a spy on her way to complete a secret mission, bla bla. It didn’t matter, it was all in the sub-com.

Her eye contact was strong and she had a good look at me up and down. It turned out she was a lot sweeter than she appeared, she lived in a village with her parents that was two bus rides away and she came to the city for work every day. Roxy loved her rock n’ roll music so I regaled her with my failed attempt to be a rock star (Yes, I was actually in a real band, with real band mates and real punters and everything), I could see the wheels spinning in her eyes. She was attracted.

We exchanged numbers and off she went on her two buses back to the village.

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Roy Walker Text Game Mastery. 

As mentioned, I knew it was on, so no mad text skillz required. I pinged her a couple of times between the Sunday and Thursday just to keep it alive.

We arranged to meet at 6pm on Thursday. I got there 5 minutes early and she was already standing there waiting. She looked slightly hotter than when I had opened her as she put on a bit more make-up. Roxy was a solid 7.

We exchanged pleasantries before I asked her if she liked beer. “It’s my favourite drink!”

Green Flag

I walked us to a nearby craft beer bar. I got the drinks in and we sat outside on the balcony. It was a warm but windy day. I took her through the comfort fluff and found out that she was actually born in Croatia and moved here when she was a child. My eyes lit up at the prospect of capturing a new flag. Soon Roxy started to complain that the wind was blowing her hair everywhere. We moved inside.

I pointed at some stools by the bar, she said no and pointed to a couch in a dark corner.

Green Flag

Roxy sat to my left on the couch and put her handbag to her left side so that there were no obstacles between us.

Green Flag

I started the questions game and her first question was “Do you have a girlfriend?”

Green Flag

It was on. The waiter brought us another round of beers as I chain smoked on cigarettes – she didn’t smoke, however, she insisted that I should smoke if I wanted to.

Green Flag

I asked her if she had to rate herself on a scale of 1 to 10, how would she score herself at kissing. “Eight!” she proudly declared and asked me the same question back. “I’m a 10” said me. She leaned in slightly and looked deep into my eyes as she waited for the kiss. I looked around the room, said “I like it in here” before having another swig of beer.

I put the beer down, put my hand behind her neck and pulled her in for the kiss. She was all in, kissing with heavy tongue and rubbing her hands all over me. I’m pretty sure I could have banged her there and then but I thought it was probably best not to.

I drank the rest of my beer and she was taking long with hers so I drank that too.

Let’s go for a walk

Ok, that’s a good idea

I walked her straight to my apartment which was 5 minutes away. We got to the front door.

I live here, would you like to come up for one more drink?

Oh OK, why not

Green Flag

We got inside and I gave her a little tour of the apartment. Xants was in his bedroom getting ready to go out. I told her that we should go to the bedroom as my flat mate was in. No objections on her side.

She sat on the end of my bed as I went to the fridge to get us a couple of beers.

I came back and put the laptop on to play some music. The first song I chose was Metallica – Enter sandman. By the time the song finished my penis had entered her, absolutely no LMR. She had an amazing body – big breasts, big ass and a small waist.

It was now around 8:30pm and I was pretty keen to get rid of her having already blown my load. Roxy told me that her next bus back to the village wasn’t until 9:30. FFS, I had to entertain her for another hour.

I never thought that I would see the day that I would bang a girl with a porn star body and then try to get rid of her as quickly as possible, but I have. I lost all interest in this girl as soon as I banged her and it makes me slightly concerned if I will ever be able to settle down with one girl.

I played her some trigger happy TV on youtube to try and kill time – Roxy looked at the screen with a confused expression on her face as I giggled away. Soon she started pawing at me and trying to kiss me. I sighed before slapping on another condom and banging her again – it was nowhere near as satisfying.

Soon after this I walked Roxy to her bus stop before joining Xants in a restaurant for some late dinner.

As you can see from all the green flags along the way, this was a total yes girl. They don’t come along often, especially in this city. But when they do all you have to do is show up and lead, lead, lead.







Lay Report: Say no to hunting

Kinda like this accept her face had a bit of acne – so, not this hot.

I’ve been in Manchester for some weeks now and have opened 20 sets spread across 7 sessions, those numbers alone should tell you what I think of the quality here. I banged one of those 20 girls last night and it was relatively easy. Here’s the story…

I was walking down Market Street with the Cheshire Cat Sunday past. We had just met up and were doing our first lap of Manchester’s only decent strip for daygame. I was nursing a hangover from the previous evenings shenanigans but rather than feel lethargic and sorry for myself, I was EXTRA horny.

Cheshire was chortling on about something in my ear before he completely changed tack and said something along the lines of “Look at the legs on that thing over there!”

I glanced in that direction and saw a little brown girl with short black hair, a nose piercing, a blue denim jacket, a black t-shirt with a deep V showing off quite an impressive cleavage, bright yellow short shorts (it was around 12 degrees) and black booted high heels. I instantly decided “ratbag – would bang” and made chase to begin my first set of the day.

I found out she was Indian, here to study a masters in Physics, had been here 6 months and was in a hurry to meet some girlfriends for brunch. I quickly told her my situation to bed it down before taking her number. She was a high 6 at best but I really wanted to bang her. The set lasted a little over a minute but I knew it was solid as I walked back to CC.

I text her later that evening and set up a date for the following Wednesday, the meeting point would be the Central Library at 7pm.

We both arrived on time, except she went to a completely different library. She apologised and made her way to me around 20 minutes later. She showed up looking more conservative than when I met her in tight jeans, the same black t-shirt, a puffy hooded jacket and had a backpack on her back.

Oh, have you come straight from the library? I asked.

No, I am going to the library after this, I can only stay for one drink

Oh, why?

I have a huge deadline coming up and I haven’t done any studying today

WHAT THE FUCK?! I concealed my rage and walked us to the nearest pub. It was strangely very busy for a Wednesday night and she struggled to find us seats as I got the drinks in. We sat on stools opposite each other perched on the end of another groups long table.

We went through the comfort fluff, I found out she was 23 and liked going clubbing on the weekends. She loved animals and challenged me with;

What do you think of hunting and killing animals in general? I will judge you on this

I gave her a look as if to say “Really?”. My mind again turned to an infamous quote from a good friend of Ricky Roma and Mr White ;

You’re not hot enough to be this difficult!

I went into quite a long monologue along the lines of;

I’ve never been hunting, but I don’t have anything against it, we’re all animals and we all die some way or another… But I’m not into foxes, or dear, I’d imagine the meat is too tough. There’s nothing I love more than a big juicy steak, a fillet or a ribeye are my favourites, especially the grass fed ones, you know the Tesco finest ones? I’m sure those cows lived in a nice environment, ate the best grass and mooed to their big cow hearts were content before being electrocuted to death humanely.

I could almost see steam coming out of her ears.

I can’t believe you, I love animals and hate hunting, I even went to a protest the other day

She started showing me pictures on her phone of her with a placard saying “Say no to hunting.”

I admire your passion. Said me before quickly changing the subject.

She kept looking at her phone on the table throughout the first venue which was beginning to piss me off.

Do you always play on your phone when you meet a man for a date?

Oh no, sorry, it’s just my friend who I’m meeting after this at the library, she keeps messaging me

Tell her you’re busy and you’ll text her later.

She put her phone away. We left the venue and I walked us in the direction of another bar nearby. We sat on a couch beside each other and she got the drinks in.

I can’t quite remember how it happened but as I sat there in silence looking around the venue, she asked me;

What’s wrong with you? Why do you look so grumpy?

I took a big sip of my beer…

Nothing, I’m going to go home after this beer, I have work in the morning

I’ve been on lots of great dates and this is going to go down as the worst one

Ok, well if you really want to know. I think you should have told me before we met that you were going to the library after. In fact, you should have cancelled and met me another time.

Well, I thought I could meet you for an hour and maybe meet you again another time. What’s the issue?

I had assumed in my head that I was going to bang her on the first date, I wasn’t in the mood for all these obstacles and I really couldn’t be arsed with them. I decided I should at least try and resuscitate this terminal date. I started poking her and asking her if she was ticklish. She started pushing me back and soon we were both giggling. I grabbed her chin and pulled her in for the kiss and she was all in.

I don’t live far from here, let’s go back to my place for a night cap then I’ll put you in an uber to the library.

She thought about it for a few seconds before agreeing. I pulled out my phone, ordered the uber and we were on the way back to my place.

I gave her a brief tour of the flat and moments later our clothes were off and she was screaming like a banshee as I banged her doggy style. I asked her when she decided she wanted to have sex with me and she said when I kissed her in the second bar, the tension between us turned her on. Soon after this I ordered her an uber home, she never made it to the library.

There you go kids, if a bird is annoying you, act grumpy, tell her what she’s done to annoy you, tickle her, kiss her, take her home and then bang her. I’m sure all the top PUA’s will agree.

Lay Report: Fijian Flag

Not this hot, but I got bored googling.

I don’t usually write up night game lays as there’s normally not much game involved, I’m usually pretty drunk and the quality of the girls I pull at night time is significantly lower than what I get from daygame. This story is different…

It was Friday at around 5:30pm as I departed the office without much planned for the weekend. I declined invitations from colleagues to go for beers in the sun and instead opted to join an old friend from my hometown who has been living in Melbourne for the last 8 years.

This friend, let’s call him Steve, is someone I used to get on really well with at school but we drifted our separate ways as the years have passed. He’s a salesman and has what us gamers would call “natural game”, he’s funny, jacked, always has a hot girlfriend (he’s currently dating a Lebanese 8) and has no idea about game, in other words, he’s a wanker. I frequently call him this. I went out for drinks with him a few weeks back and he did a stellar job of winging me as I gamed a 5 and he laughed his head off as I left him at the bar to go back to her place. Not one of my proudest moments as a man of game.

I met up with Steve at around 6pm and we went to a rooftop bar and drank a few beers as I filled him in on the debauchery I got up to on a recent trip to Bali [1] . We bumped into a couple of his male ex-colleagues and I got to know them quite well. They started telling me stories about their love lives and I felt genuinely sorry for them, despite being funny, good looking guys, they reeked of pussy repellent.

After an hour or so Steve’s friends departed and Steve told me he had to go to a friends birthday party in another part of town. It was now around 8pm and I told Steve that I would just go home and have an early night. He told me to come with him and I wasn’t keen at all. Then he said;

Roy, my friend is gay, all his friends are girls and they’re all pretty hot


We jumped on a train to the other side of town and went to a fairly upmarket bar/club. As we arrived Steve greeted the birthday boy as well as lots and lots of girls, he wasn’t lying. Steve introduced me to them all and as I went to the bar to get us both a drink he leaned into me and said;

Roy, the blondie in the black heels is single and I think she likes you

I know Steve, she’s been IOIing me since we got here


Never mind

I proceeded to talk to the blondie as Steve held court with the rest of the group, this must be what they call social circle game. The blondie was nice, a solid 7 but I found her a little boring. She excused herself to go to the bathroom and I stood there alone leaning against a wall opposite the bar. I noticed a black girl and a cute little Indian looking girl standing at the bar laughing quite loudly. The short Indian looked in my direction and I had no hesitation in walking straight over to the pair of them and announcing;

Excuse me young ladies, I’m a member of the fun police and you girls look like you’re having waaaaay too much fun!

oooooh hahahaha we’re sorry

The cheesy old school lines still have their place in a players repertoire. I was in and both girls seemed to like me. I found out fairly quickly that the Indian looking girl, let’s call her Kerry, was single and the black girl had a boyfriend. This was perfect as Kerry was my target.

The black girl excused herself to go to the toilet and I was alone with Kerry, we laughed and giggled as the blondie stood across the bar in a huddle with her friends glancing over every now and then wondering what was going on.

Why do those girls keep looking over?

Ah, they’re just my friends colleagues, he knows everyone in this bar it seems, I thought you were one of them.

No, I don’t know anyone here except my friend that went to the toilet.

I don’t remember much of what I prattled on about but the vibe was electric, she looked at me with fuck me eyes for the entire conversation and it didn’t take me long to get a boner. I glanced over Kerry’s shoulder and saw her friend coming back, her friend looked at me, smiled and walked in the other direction to give me and Kerry more time together. Good girl.

I chatted some more with Kerry finding out that she was born in Fiji, was in her late 20’s, a lawyer and had a passion for travelling. In my tipsy state I thought she was an 8 [2]. We shared some travel stories and before long she started to wonder where her friend went. I told her not to worry, maybe she was tired and went home. All of this happened in about 10 minutes from when I opened her, then she announced;

I don’t normally do this, but I want you to come back to my place

Oh, where do you live?

It’s about 10 minutes away in an uber

Let’s go

I ordered us an uber and as we departed I said goodbye to Steve who was now stood with the blondie. He looked at me with a wry smile and said “see you later, dick head.”

As we travelled towards Kerry’s place in the uber my mind wandered to an episode of Black Mirror [3] that I watched recently where a nerdy guy had a dating coach giving him advice in his ear as he opened girls in a bar. He opened a two set and one of the girls looked fucking crazy, a man after my own heart. This girl invited the nerd back to her place and the dating coach thought his work was done. The nerd lay on the bed while the girl poured the drinks. She mounted him on the bed and forced him to down the drink. It killed him. I told her this story and she told me not to worry, she wouldn’t kill me, at least straight away.

Luckily I am still alive to tell the tale and my dalliances with crazy bitches has not killed me, yet.

Kerry had a very nice apartment and was clearly financially comfortable. She poured me a whiskey and I made sure to have a look at the bottle, it was Johnny Walker Blue, didn’t look poisonous. She had a vodka.

We sat on the couch chatting and before long we were kissing and down to our underwear. I tried to fuck her on the couch but she insisted that we go to the bedroom. I threw on a condom and fucked her very hard, this girl liked it rough. Her bed was possibly the comfiest I have ever slept on so I invited myself to stay the night as I gave her the debrief.

I asked her when she decided she wanted to have sex with me “as soon as you came over to us, it showed so much confidence, I wish more guys would do it.”

I banged her raw dog a few more times in the morning (I only carry one condom in my wallet) before we went for breakfast. I might actually see this girl again.

We are just over 6 weeks into the new year and I have now collected the Kiwi, Sudanese, Balinese [4] and now Fijian flags. Melbourne may not have the best quality, but at least it has some exotic flags.


[1] I went there to catch up with some friends, but with a couple of days to go I downloaded Tinder. I got lots of matches and the quality was strangely high. I banged two of em’, one of which I paid for and it was worth it. The other one acted as a tour guide for me showing me around the island as I rode shotgun on her scooter. Alpha.

[2] I downgraded her to a 7 when I woke up in the morning.

[3] It’s called White Christmas, I recommend it.

[4] I’m counting the one I didn’t pay for.

Lay Report: Sultry Sudanese

Body very similar, face not so much.

I banged my first black girl since March 2016 last night. Most guys I know aren’t a fan of the black booty but I get the jungle fever every once in a while. I’ve slept with quite a few black girls now, most of them pre-game when I lived in South Africa and they all had one thing in common; they were great in the sack. They all had big lips, big asses and were great at blow-jobs. They all seemed to be sweet and innocent (except this one) until I got them into the bedroom where they would turn into filthy animals. Here is the latest story…

It was 6pm on Friday evening as I departed the office having resisted the urge to go for beers with colleagues. It was a perfect evening for daygame, around 22 degrees, no wind and the Sun would not set until 8.30pm.

As I walked towards Swanston street I spotted a very hot little Vietnamese looking girl walking in my direction, she was short but had a body like an hourglass and a very pretty face. I opened, had a great set only for her to tell me she was actually on her way to meet her boyfriend who she lives with. I was disappointed but as I departed she thanked me for having the balls to talk to her, it’s always good to hear this.

I carried on and was opening every 10 minutes, it was the most quality I had seen in Melbourne to date. I didn’t close any of them as they all seemed to have boyfriends, or at least they said they did. That was until I saw the black girl.

I spotted her as I waited for some pedestrian crossing lights to turn green, she was at the other side of the road. She was relatively tall, probably the same height as me, had long black hair, a black tank top, skin tight white pants and black plimsoles. From the other side of the road she looked like an 8 to me.

The lights went green to cross and I examined her face as she got closer, it was young but not the best, her teeth looked a little crooked so I dropped her a couple of points as I let her pass me by. I turned my head to check her out from behind and then I saw the big booty, I could see the outline of what looked like a red thong through the white fabric of her spray on pants. She went back up a point and I instantly got a boner, it wasn’t a DNA tug but I really wanted to bang her so I turned about and made chase.

I got in front of her and I don’t actually recall what I said to her. I just remember that she had a very nervous smile and took a step back as I was rattling through my stack. When she eventually spoke I was surprised to hear that she had an Australian accent. We spoke for 5 minutes and she never really seemed to relax.

She was born in Sudan and moved to Australia with her family when she was 12. I complimented her on her physique and told her that she must be a gym freak as I poked her bicep. She returned the compliment and told me that I looked like I’d been working out as well, finally someone noticed! Despite all this, each time I tried to inch inwards she would back off. I asked her what she was up to and she told me that she was on her way to meet her friend for dinner. I told her I’d like to take her out another time and we exchanged numbers.

As I walked away I was certain it was going to go only one of two ways; she would block me OR I would bang her, nothing in between. I carried on my merry way and put her to the back of my mind as I carried on opening other girls. Then at just before 8pm, she text me first…

It was clearly going to be the latter and as you can see from my texting, I wasted no time in nudging things in that direction.

It was almost 9pm before she turned up as she got a little lost. As we walked back up Swanston street lots of male heads would turn in our direction, I clearly wasn’t the only one who noticed her ass.

I walked us to the same rooftop bar I took the kiwi to and we sat opposite each other on a small table. I asked for a pint of beer and the soy boy waiter informed me that they only served “pots”, these are half pints. I begrudgingly got one and she ordered a cocktail.

We did the comfort fluff, I found out she was 25, the eldest of 7 siblings and was doing a part time finance course whilst working as a waitress. Her family had left Sudan due to a war between the Muslims and the Christians, she was a Christian. I let her tell me her sob story before telling her that my mother told me never to talk about politics, religion or exes on a first date. She giggled and finally seemed like she was starting to relax.

We finished our drinks and tried a couple of other venues nearby but they were all packed and noisy due to it being Friday night. I walked us to an old mans pub and it was perfectly quiet and there was a booth free at the back. I got the drinks in again and we sat beside each other in the booth. I started the questions game and her first question was “what do you want from this?”.

I told her that I hadn’t set out with any particular goal in mind (I had), but that I wanted to take it as it went, live life in the moment and if something happens it happens, if not, so be it, blah blah blah. She lapped it up.

I kissed her shortly after this and her big juicy lips were ravenous. We had one more drink as we carried on with questions and kissed a few more times. She started complaining of back pain and I suggested that we go back to mine, she could stretch out on the couch as I played the guitar.

She initially said no before changing her mind 5 minutes later. As we departed the bar I hailed a cab and we were in my apartment within 10 minutes.

As she came in she took her shoes off voluntarily and plonked herself down on the couch and lay on her back. I got us another drink before playing a couple of tunes on the guitar as she lay there.

I put the guitar down and grabbed her hand “I can sort your back pain out”. She followed and lay face down on my bed as I gave her a back massage. I lifted her top to put some lube on her back and she undid her own bra as it opened from the front and took it off at the same time as her tank top. I carried on with the massage for a couple of minutes before rolling her over and kissing her.

Soon afterwards all our clothes were off and she proceeded to give me one of the best blow-jobs I’ve ever had. I made sure to put on a condom before I banged her doggy style and took great pleasure in spanking that great big ass as I did so.

She was pretty keen to get home straight after this as she still lives with her parents and it was now after 2am. I ordered her an uber and off she went into the night.

The second month of the New Year has just begun and I’ve captured two new flags so far. Melbourne is still shit.

Lay Report: A Crazy Kiwi

Not quite this hot.

Despite my constant moaning about the dearth in quality here in Melbourne, my first 10 sets of the year have gone rather well. Here’s a rare glimpse at my spreadsheet;

Screen Shot 2018-01-20 at 14.34.33

I’ve been doing a few sets here and there without really going out of my way to “do daygame”. So far I’ve closed 7 out of 10, more than half of these flaked, I’ve got one of them out on a date and got the lay. Here’s the story…

It was Thursday afternoon, around 1pm. I wasn’t that busy at work so I decided to escape the office to go out for a walk. I wasn’t out to “do daygame”. I still find it weird when I’m not in my daygame uniform, it feels incongruent. I like to present myself to girls as the fast sex guy but if I’m in formal office wear this can only lead to confusion for the girl.

It was an unseasonably hot day in Melbourne, but we won’t get into a climate change debate here. As I left the confines of the air conditioned office and stepped into the hot, dry 39oC heat I felt the sweat beads forming on my forehead and arm pits almost instantly. I rolled my sleeves up, undid my top button, put my ray bans on and proceeded to Walker Walk as slow as a tortoise down Bourke Street towards Swanston.

I was somewhere between code yellow and orange as Krauser defines it on page 108 of his new book, Daygame Infinite. I was checking out every girl but I wasn’t going to throw myself in front of any buses. She had to be;

  1. a 7 or above
  2. not Asian
  3. not a fat hipster
  4. not walking fast as it was too hot to chase

With these criteria in mind I let every girl pass me by for the first 15 minutes. I could now feel the sweat forming on my lower back as my shirt started sticking to it, it was time to start walking back to the office and plug back in. As I made my way back I spotted a cute brunette walking towards me. She wore brown sandals, had bronze legs atop of which she wore a pink flowery dress. It showed a little bit of cleavage and she was wearing a brown leather backpack. She was walking slowly and seemed to be looking at everything around her like it was the first time she’d seen it. PERFECT.

I let her pass and there was no IOI, I turned and started walking a little faster to get in front of her.

Excuuuuse me


I have to tell you something a liiiiiittle bit cheeky – I took off my sunglasses

I saw you pass me by and I thought you looked very cute, you looked very peaceful, like you were on your way to sit in a park read a classic novel

She removed her sunglasses to reveal big green eyes that were mid spazz. She’d only said one word so far but she was hooked.

Thank you! I wish, but I’m actually just on my lunch break and am wondering what to eat

We proceeded into chit chat about each others jobs and what we were doing in Melbourne. It turned out she was a paralegal from New Zealand and had been in the city for just over a year. Even though the topic of conversation was rather trivial there was a fizz, this girl was very bubbly and loved the fact that I opened her. I told her I had to get back to the office so I took her number and we went our separate ways.

I pinged her as I was about to leave the office later that day on the off chance that I could get her out. She had already gone home but was very responsive, I proposed meeting the next day, Friday and she agreed.

Friday was another hot day so I pinged her in the afternoon to confirm the date. She was keen.

I got to the station a couple of minutes late and she arrived soon after. She wore brown corked high heels and a white dungaree short outfit type thing. It showed off her brown legs and I could see her white bra straps poking out the side of the dungaree suspenders. She wore make-up and had clearly made an effort. I got an instant boner, this girl had turned from a low 7 in set to a solid 7 and I wanted to bang her.

I walked us to the same bar on the river that I took the Indian [1] to and we sat on stools overlooking the river. I got the drinks in and began the comfort fluff. I asked her why she’d moved to Melbourne and she said;

Well, it’s kind of a fucked up story, maybe I’ll tell you later

Oh ok

Anyway so do you go on dates often? I haven’t been laid properly in 4 years

I was mid-swig of my beer bottle and I almost choked on it.

Wow, wow, wow young lady! Let me explain to you how dates work. We have one drink, get to know each other better, if we like each other then we go for another drink in a more secluded place and maybe then we start discussing this sort of stuff.

As I explained my basic date model to her I contemplated bouncing her straight back to my place after the first drink. I probably could have got away with it but it was still only around 8.30pm and I fancied a few drinks.

We carried on chatting and got on great. I found out she had just turned 27, lived with another girl not far from my place and didn’t have many friends in the city. This girl was very funny and is the type of girl you could just hang out and have a laugh with, not that I would do such an alien activity. As we finished the first drink I excused myself and went to the toilet. I came back and noticed that she had taken her heels off and put them on the floor. I picked them up and said;

Come on, let’s go

But where?!

Just follow me

She excitedly put her heels back on and grabbed my arm as I walked us out of the bar. At this point I’m thinking that the notch is in the bag and all I had to do is not fuck it up. I walked us to a secret cocktail bar that only allows 10 people in at a time. We were the only people there and she was very impressed with the venue. We each got a cocktail and she offered to pay, I told her to put her card away.

I told her how I liked her vibe, she seemed very bubbly and was a pleasure to be around. Then the skeletons started to show;

Well this is all just an act.

What do you mean?

I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but I’ve been suffering from depression for years, I’m just very good at hiding it.

I felt that weird mix of emotions which I am beginning to experience all too often – pity mixed with arousal. I knew the fact that this girl was a little bit broken would probably make for great sex.

I’m impressed you are telling me. It’s not uncommon nowadays, my little brother has been suffering with it for years. I keep trying to get him to see a therapist every time I go home but he won’t listen.

I’ve been to therapy a lot and it has helped. A year ago I would never have come out on a date like this, I couldn’t even talk to people. I’m better now than I used to be but every now and then I get really down and take lots of coke and cry in my bedroom alone.

I empathised a bit more before grabbing her cocktail and taking a sip. She playfully punched me saying “hey, that’s mine!”. The vibe lifted again. We finished the cocktails and it was now around 9.30pm.

I walked us to another venue where we had another drink on a balcony. We sat at the corner of a table overlooking the street. She started to speak about politics and I gave her my usual line;

My mother told me never to speak about religion, politics or past relationships when meeting a woman.

I grabbed her neck and pulled her in for the kiss. She was all in, lots of tongue in what was quite a small and busy venue. Heads turned in our direction. I pushed her back and looked away.

Wow, that was good

Yeah, I probably should have done that earlier – I called out my own bad game.

As we finished the drinks I looked at the time on my phone, it was now 10:45pm. I told her that it was almost my bed time. She said that she should probably go home too.

Well, let’s go back to my place for one more, I can play you a few songs on my guitar, you can sing along

Ooooooh you play guitar?! Let’s go

No resistance. I ordered an uber and it was waiting outside as we left the venue. As we got into my place I told her she had to take her shoes off before I gave her a tour of the apartment. She sat on the couch and I poured us some wine. I picked up the guitar and played the usual medley of chick crack songs, she was practically drooling.

Soon after her white dungarees were on the floor and I was fingering her vigorously as she screamed with pleasure, this girl was LOUD. I got undressed and tried to bang her on the couch but she insisted on going to the bedroom. The sex was probably up there in my top 5 bangs. She didn’t have an aesthetically stunning body but she had a great ass, and a little bit of meat which was great for spanking. We fucked for over an hour before I collapsed in an exhausted sweaty mess. I offered her to stay over but she insisted on leaving. Good girl.

I asked her the usual post-sex questions and she told me that there was no specific moment when she decided she wanted to have sex, it just felt natural. She left soon afterwards and I sent out the +1 texts to the lads. Mr W queried if she was an Ozzie, I informed him that she was from New Zealand at the same time as realising that I had captured a new flag. Maybe Melbourne ain’t so bad after all.

[1] I’m still seeing her and have since managed to bang her properly.

Lay Report: Period Girl

Not this hot.

This is a short story about one of my easiest notches ever. The only challenge was getting her out…

It was my first day full in Hong Kong. I was bobbing around Causeway bay buzzing with new city enthusiasm and optimism. I’d done 5 sets already by this point and collected a couple of numbers. As I walked past the istore I decided to haggle with a local who was selling dodgy iphone 10s directly outside the shop. I didn’t buy one in the end. As I walk away iphoneless I spot a short brunette throwing me a ridiculous IOI, it was my first IOI of the day and I jumped on it.

She was mousy, about 5’ 5”, with brown hair down to her shoulders, her skin was tanned and her eyes were dark brown. She wore a black leather jacket covering a white woolly jumper, a black mini-shirt and high heels. She had a meaty ass and short chunky legs; I score her 6.5 on the HB index.

I get in front of her and deliver the opener. I tell her that she’s cute and she carries on walking past me with a big smile on her face. She looked confused and didn’t really know what was going on. I carried on with my stack and she stopped and turned to me;

There’s no way you’re from HK, I’m guessing somewhere more exotic like Thailand

Yes, I from Bangkok

Interesting, I’ve never been there but lots of my friends go there to party

Where are you from?

I’m from Ireland but I live in Australia

Ooooooh that’s so cool, you travel a lot

They say it broadens the mind

I must go meet friend now for dinner

I take her number and send her a whatsapp message with my name before she goes on her merry way. The set lasted around 2 minutes. She messaged me back as I walked off and carried on messaging me that evening asking more questions about how long I would stay and why I came here alone. She was keen.

Over the next few days I would invite her out 3 times, each time she would agree and then cancel either at the agreed meet-up time or even after. The times on the screenshots are not correct as I was in a different time zone when they were sent.



As you can see she cancelled twice citing her period as an excuse, this was a first for me and quite frankly I found it refreshing. She clearly (and correctly) assumed that we would be meeting up for sex. So after her cancelling twice I eventually invited her for Lunch as it was now my last day in HK and I had agreed to spend my last evening with Ellen.

She eventually turned up and looked Down to Fuck (DTF) straight away. She arrived at the meeting point dressed all in black, a black boob tube, black mini-skirt and black high heels. It was the middle of the afternoon but she looked dressed for the evening.

I went to give her a kiss on the cheek and she kissed me on the lips and said “hello honey, how are you”. As I walked her to a bar close to my place she told me that I looked sexy and apologised for messing me around. I had never experienced a girl so DTF on a first date, I contemplated walking her straight to my apartment but just couldn’t do it.

We sat down at the corner of a table, her leg was rubbing up against mine and she couldn’t stop trying to kiss me. I ordered a beer and she got a cocktail. She drank hers slowly, I practically downed my pint and then proceeded to drink hers. We were in and out of the bar within 20 minutes and walking to my flat.

We got inside and I poured us both a glass of water. Soon after this the clothes were off, I chose to put on a condom (if she was this easy for me, I assumed she had a pretty high notch count) and we had sex. As soon as I finished she rolled over and started playing on her phone. From meet to sex was just under 45 minutes, pretty sure that’s my fastest pull to date.

I didn’t bother with the debrief questions, I was now wondering to myself “what is an acceptable amount of time to kick a girl out after sex?” 10 minutes later I told her I had things to do, she got dressed and went on her way. As I threw the condom in the bin I noticed it was a bit bloody, she wasn’t lying about the period.

This was most definitely a yes girl and there was no game involved on my part. But, a notch is a notch, and yes, I do keep a count of these.

Lay Report: Leggy Local Celeb

Like this, except longer black hair… and hotter

This is a long story [1] about another crazy girl. I like these types of girls because they are typically a great lay, but as I found out with this girl and others in the past, it’s not always as a simple as that…

It was Saturday evening and my second full day in Hong Kong. Things were going OK but I wouldn’t go as far to say that I was enjoying myself. I’d done 6 sets so far that day in 4 hours, despite what felt like a billion people on the street, I really struggled to find girls I would bang, never mind ones that I was attracted to.

I was standing in the square outside the World Trade Centre in Causeway bay feeling quite dejected. I’d been texting Xants earlier in the day berating myself for having come to HK in the full knowledge that I don’t like Asian girls. He said the following…

Words of encouragement from Xants

It spurred me on and he ended up being more or less right. I looked up from my phone and spotted a relatively tall Asian girl with jet black hair, pale white skin, black eye make-up, red lipstick, a black leather jacket, black skirt, black tights and long black boots walking quickly in my direction. She was hot, a comfortable 7, perhaps even an 8. She didn’t recognise my existence but it’s easily the hottest girl I’d seen so far in HK so I had to go for it.

Set – Saturday 16 December

Excuuuuuse me


I hope you speak English

Yes a little

Well, I saw you running towards me and I thought you looked very pretty, however, you look very mysterious in all this black, are you on your way to rob a bank or something?

She hooks and starts to guess where I am from. Then her phone starts ringing. She answers and I stand there like a tool for a minute or so. Once the call is finished she apologises to me and says she is late to meet her friends for dinner. At this point 3 girls arrive from behind me to greet her. I notice straight away that all of them are pretty hot. I greet them all quickly and my set, lets call her Ellen, tells me that these are all her colleagues and that they were leaving now.

I turned to Ellen and said “enjoy your dinner, lets get a drink another time”.

All three of her friends were watching, she didn’t look at them before saying “yeah sure.” I typed her number in and we went our separate ways. I heard one of her friends say “WOW that was cool” to her as we departed. The entire interaction lasted around 3 minutes, I didn’t know anything about her and she didn’t know much about me. I didn’t expect it to go anywhere, however I recognised a glimmer of hope when I looked at her whatsapp profile status, it said “I’m a fuck up”.


I text her at around 11pm that evening and she replied within minutes. The next morning I pinged her a picture of my breakfast (I’d managed to find a place that sold Omelettes) and she sent me one back of her walking her dog. She seemed keen. After a couple of back fourths I invited her out that night. She agreed to meet me at 7pm in Causeway Bay.

D2 – Sunday 17 December

She was a few minutes early and I was a couple of minutes late. She was dressed all in black again but her lips were noticeably shinier than when I met her and her eyes had more make-up on them. Ellen had made an effort.

I took her to the ToTT bar on the 34th floor of the Excelsior building, this is a much more extravagant venue than I would normally take a girl to, but I wanted to see the view. We sat opposite each other at a small table, and we went through the comfort fluff. She drunk Whiskey straight and I had a beer. I asked her what she did for a living;

I’m a Tee wee host


Pwesenting on the tee wee

Aaaaah TV, you mean Tele-V-ision host


This explained her above average looks and why her friends were also hot. I asked her if she was famous and she said that she usually gets recognised once a day (every time I met her after this, at least one person, always male, would come over to her and ask for a selfie). We carried on chatting and I found out that she was 10 years my junior, 23. She had no brothers or sisters and had lived in HK all her life.

After the drink I suggested we go somewhere else, she said ok as long as she could have a cigarette first. We go outside the venue and as we’re having a smoke I ask her if she still lives with her parents;

No, I haven’t seen my parents in a long time. My father used to beat me so I don’t see him anymore; my mother hates me because of this. I think she is actually crazy because she blames me for ruining her life.

oh shit, I’m sorry to hear that

So I’m living with my ex-boyfriend

That’s a bit weird

We only broke up a week ago

So my timing was good then

My former chode self would have felt sorry for her at this point and gave her a shoulder to cry on, but as she was bearing the contents of her soul to me I was celebrating inside like I’d just won the lottery. Game has turned me into a sick fuck.

Next I walked us to a venue closer to my place called the Metropolitan, we sat beside each other on a couch and I started the questions game. She immediately complained saying that she is terrible at asking about other people. I asked her if that’s because she only cares about herself and she said no, it is rude in her culture to ask a lot of questions to people that you don’t know.

We asked each other a few questions but soon reverted to normal conversation, she was a very chatty and funny girl. It was now after 9.30pm and I realised that I’d got caught in comfort, I was enjoying talking to her too much and not escalating.

I started playing with her hair and commenting on its length, smell, colour and thickness. I started massaging her neck with my left hand and asked about the tattoo she had just behind her ear. She went into a long story, I sighed and placed my right hand on her thigh;

Geez, you talk a lot don’t you?

I like talking to you

That’s nice, but where is the off button?

It’s in a hidden place

I pulled her in and kissed her on the lips, she didn’t reciprocate but didn’t pull away. I pulled away first and she started to have a little melt down;

Wow, I never do this on a first meeting, especially not in public, normally it takes many dates and I have never kissed a Western man, my friends think I am crazy for agreeing to meet you, they warned me not to come

This is not a normal situation; I am only here for a few more days, so let’s just enjoy it

She mentioned that she was hungry and asked if I wanted to try some of the Hong Kong style street food. Unfortunately the place that she took us was on the other side of town from my apartment. As we were walking further and further away we passed 3 other street food places. I tried to get her to go to one of those but she insisted that the one she had in mind was the best in HK.

There was a guy on the street cooking some weird looking food, she spoke to him in Cantonese and ordered a selection of things before we took a seat inside a grubby little restaurant. The lighting was very bright, the tables were dirty, it stunk of fish and there were loud kids everywhere. Excellent seduction location it was not.

The food soon arrived and it looked and tasted revolting. She munched on pork blood and noodles while she ordered pig ovaries for me; it definitely wasn’t a Muslim establishment.

We finished the food and had another cigarette outside. I suggested we go back to mine for a nightcap. She didn’t answer me, so when we finished the cigarettes I walked us back in the direction of my apartment. It was almost a 20-minute walk away. I did my best to talk as much crap as I could until we got to my front door. I opened up and in she came without any hesitation.

I made a big thing about giving her a tour of my massive apartment. It was tiny, there was barely space to walk around the bed and the shower was above the toilet. I poured us both a drink and soon she got a message from her work saying that she needed to be on set at 7am for filming, it was now after midnight. I made a feeble attempt to escalate fast. We lay on the bed beside each other and kissed with tongue. She still had most of her clothes on including 4 upper layers. I didn’t even try to take them off as she said she had to leave and I was pretty sure that I would be seeing her again. In hindsight I should have tried to escalate, as she hadn’t resisted anything up to this point.

D3 – Tuesday 19 December

I had a date with another girl lined up at 7pm (see period girl post). Ellen messaged me about 30mins before I was due to meet period girl asking if I would like to go for dinner that night. I told her that I would let her know shortly. Period girl had already flaked the previous night so it was only 50/50 whether she was going to turn up tonight. At 7.14pm period girl messaged me saying that she still had her period. What a stupid bitch.

I met Ellen at Causeway bay metro. We got the MTR to Mong kok station and she took me to a restaurant that is very popular with the locals. It was ridiculously cheap, less than a pound a beer and the main courses were about £5 and really tasty.

After that we walked around a tempest buddha market place before I took us to a Japanese whiskey bar near my place. We sat at the bar and I ordered us two of the most expensive whiskeys on the menu, not because I was trying to show off, I just wanted to taste them. £100 later and after some pretty flat conversation we left the bar. We stood outside and had a cigarette. It was close to midnight, I suggested we go back to my place for a nightcap and she said no, “I have to go home and walk my dog”. Fine.

As I walked with her back to the metro station I knew I had to lift the vibe, I gave her a piggyback as we walked through the busy metro station. Everyone was staring and she was giggling her head off before begging to be put down. Ellen spoke about how this whole situation was very strange for her. She told me that when Hongkongese girls see other girls with Western men they laugh at them and think that they are sluts. I asked her if she really cared what other people think; “You don’t understand, it’s a different culture here”. At this point I was not confident of the notch, although she had “daddy issues” and a very messed up childhood, she still SEEMED like a sweet, innocent girl and had told me that she had only slept with 2 men in her life.

We agreed to meet the next day at 4pm to go up Victoria Peak, a very popular tourist location with panoramic views of the city. It had gotten to around 2pm and I still hadn’t heard from her. I thought the bubble might have burst on the previous date as the vibe was pretty flat, but at around 3.30pm she text to confirm the meet.

D4 – Wednesday 20 December

We met up at around 4.30pm and got a taxi to the top of Victoria peak, I took a lot of photos and we took some selfies together. It was a very couply vibe and I could sense that she was getting attached. Everything I said, she laughed at and every time I touched her she would squeeze my hand or touch me back.

After this we got a cab back down to the Soho area, we had a drink in a bar before going to a Japanese BBQ that was highly recommended to me by Seven. We sat beside each other on a couch and I ordered all you can drink beer as well as a selection of meats to share and as each dish came out we laughed and joked, I was really enjoying my time with this girl. She would speak to the waiter in Chinese/Hongkongese and although I didn’t know what they were saying and I didn’t feel like I had the frame, I thought it was fucking cool. In my head I was thinking, “I have a local tour guide, not only is she hot, but she’s a local celebrity and likes me. I came to a big city alone and met a woman of this calibre, Daygame is great”.

After dinner we got the metro back to my area and went to my apartment where we drank vodka and smoked cigarettes out of the tiny window. I was feeling tipsy now; I’d had at least 5 beers and the vodka. Ellen began asking about my past relationships and how many lovers I’d had. I told her “probably a lot more than you, but I am 10 years older than you”.

She told me that her first relationship was with a girl when she was 16, they were together for two years. I asked why her first relationship was with a girl and she blamed her father. He used to pull her top down and grab her boobs when she was 15, he wanted to have sex with her. She was scared of men after this and decided that it was safer for her to avoid them altogether.

She then told me that she hadn’t been totally honest, she had one other lover, a 42 year old man whilst she was still with her ex. She used to work in a whiskey bar, this guy would come in with all his friends and never talk. All his friends would laugh and joke with her and he would just be quiet. Inside I was thinking “this guy sounds like he’s running my game”. She quit that job and he called her, (she doesn’t know how he got her number) and they went for lots of “lunches” before she eventually fucked him while she was still with her boyfriend. This girl was promiscuous and it was at this point that I knew I had to go for it.

We kissed and I went for her crotch over the top of her tights, she did not resist. Soon after this all of our clothes were off and then I noticed something was a bit strange, something that had never happened to me with a new girl before. I WASN’T HARD!!!!

It took her a little while to notice as I carried on fooling around with her. But eventually she noticed and asked if it was her fault. I said most definitely not. She had a fantastic body, big hips, small waist, no body hair and long legs. Her breasts weren’t the biggest but I didn’t mind. I really wanted to bang her but my dick was not so keen. Then I started to wonder if my dislike for Asian girls went deeper than I realised. As I’m ruminating on this she started sucking me off and minutes later normal service was resumed. PHEW! The sex was wild, biting scratching and she liked to moan. It was my penultimate night in Hong Kong and I had banged the hottest girl I opened, the relief was immense.

As we lay there I asked her the usual questions. She said she would have had sex earlier but she was on her period. Soon afterwards she got dressed and I ordered her an uber home.

We hung out the next evening, which was my last in Hong Kong. I passed up a date with an airhostess and an opportunity to complete a hatrick of notches to spend the night with Ellen. I am CLEARLY beyond game.


[1] – feedback is much appreciated – let me know if you think this post rambles on too much.



Lay Report: Victory for the Tortoise


I finally converted the near miss from my last post to a lay and with it I captured the Indian flag as well as bagging my first daygame lay in Australia. It took a lot of patience and I broke almost all of my usual “rules” when it comes to dating…

I’ve already had two dates with this girl and I had established that she is K-selected but willing to experiment. I’d already taken her further and faster than she’d ever been with anyone before but her forebrain stopped her on both occasions. My strategy going forward was not to rush it, neither of us were in a hurry as we both lived in the city and shock horror, I actually liked hanging out with her, a girl!

D4 – Sunday 19 November

I went into the city centre to do some daygame, the quality was terrible (as usual) and I ended up going shopping instead. As I was doing so she texted me asking what I was up to. We met for dinner and then went back to my place together. We played around and again there was no sex.

She confessed that she was actually married to her one and only boyfriend and only came to Australia to get away from her friends and family whilst the divorce went through. She also told me that he was the only person she had sex with and the last time was over TWO YEARS ago.

D5 – Monday 27 November

She texted me during the day asking what I was up to that evening. I told her I had a rock n’ roll evening lined up doing laundry and meal prepping for the week. She joined and helped me with my laundry and the cooking.

Again we messed around, she was extra horny this time moaning every time I as much as touched her shoulder. I took her into the bedroom thinking that this was definitely a notch. She pushed me off telling me that she was on her period, this explained her extra horniness. I wasn’t hiding my frustration by this point and she picked up on this promising that there would be no excuses next time. We agreed to meet the following Saturday and that she would cook for me.

D6 – Saturday 2 December

It was a horrible weekend in Melbourne with 3 days of almost constant torrential rain. She text me during the day with a long apologetic message something along the lines of “I’m really sorry but my almost perfect cycle has been haywire this month and I still have my period. I understand if you don’t want to see me tonight”. FUCK.

I didn’t have any plans so I agreed to let her come round and cook for me anyway. She’s a vegetarian so she cooked me a veggie curry thing, it was nice but I made some meat separately and added it to the curry. This obviously made it taste 100 times better and I enjoyed telling her this. She called me a dick, which I noticed she was saying more and more often. This is good. Before she left I told her that I had a surprise for her and to keep Monday night free… It would be an adventure date.

D7 – Monday 4 December

I had bought two tickets to see Milo Yiannopolous in Melbourne a month or so previously and it was now the night of the show. I didn’t have anyone in mind to take along with me when I bought them, I just knew that I wanted to go. My girl had been texting me all day trying to figure out where I was taking her and asking what she should wear. I decided that it probably wasn’t fair to take her here without some prior knowledge. I sent her a link to a video of Milo ripping a local Australian Muslim feminist to shreds and she responded with hilarious laughter. She was in.

As we arrived at the venue there were rows and rows of police stood in a line blocking the entrance. I turned to my girl and I could see the fear on her face “is this safe?!” I told her we would be fine, showed our tickets to the police and they made a gap in the line for us to pass through. There were about a hundred protesters waving banners and shouting obscenities trying to get reactions out of anyone attending the show. My girl was scared, she got on the inside of me and pulled herself in to try and hide from the friendly lefties. A short overweight hipster girl (presumably lesbian) screamed at her “how can you participate in this misogyny?!”


Having not been really sure what to expect, my girl thoroughly enjoyed the show. We got some food afterwards and headed back to mine. On the way back she informed me that she was STILL on her period. I told her I didn’t believe her but I didn’t make a big fuss about it. She promised again that we would do the deed next time.

D8 – Friday 6 December

I worked late and met her at around 9pm in the city centre. She turned up looking her most promiscuous yet, in a black dress and heels and had put on more make-up than usual. Would this finally be the night?!

We went for dinner and I made sure not to mention her period or sex throughout the evening. We were chatting about our respective weeks at dinner when I announced that I bought a condom, her face dropped and she couldn’t look at me. I pulled out my phone and said “look, do you like it?” I’d bought a new cover for my phone, she packed up laughing and playfully punched me saying “you are SUCH a dick!”

We got a cab back to mine and as soon as we got into the flat the clothes were off and we were in the bedroom. It took a long time before she would let me get my dick anywhere near her vagina, she insisted on more kissing and foreplay. We must have been doing this for about an hour before I lost my patience, slapped some lube on my dick and pushed it in. She screamed loudly, it was easily the tightest vagina I’d ever experienced and I have banged virgins who were a lot younger than her. I let it sit there for a few seconds and told her to relax. I got a couple of thrusts in before she pushed me off whilst screaming in pain. I reckon I was in there for 10 seconds max.

We fooled around a bit more but she kept pushing me away every time I tried to make a re-entry. Eventually I got bored and I even told her this. I gave up at around 2am and went to the bathroom. I wasn’t sure if this qualified as a notch but my twitter followers unanimously agreed that it was. We fell asleep at around 3am and I made us eggs the following morning as she sat on the couch.


You might ask if this was all worth the effort. Obviously, it wasn’t and if I was on a Euro Jaunt I would have had one date with her and given up. But I’m not on a Euro Jaunt so I’ll probably see this girl more and the sex will get better. I don’t mind having a MLTR with a girl I enjoy spending time with whilst doing the odd spot of daygame for the remainder of my time in Melbourne, there isn’t exactly a lot to shoot at out on the streets.

Key Learning Points

  • Do what you want to do and let her tag along if she wants to.
  • Keep the frame – K selected girls normally want a lot of dates before they give up the V. This does not mean that you have to agree to be in an exclusive relationship with them. I made sure she knew that I would be a bad long term prospect by making fun of any future projections she did, reminding her that I was only here for a few more months, calling her names (playfully), pushing her around (playfully) and implying (but not explicitly telling her) that there were other girls around – even though there aren’t.
  • I highly recommend taking a girl to a right wing event with lots of leftie protesters – maybe not if she’s a feminist.


Lay Report: Losing the daygame lottery


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Nice bike.

This lay was TWO whole weeks ago, the longest I’ve ever put off doing a report after a lay since I started this blog. There are three reasons for that;

  1. This lay slots firmly into the vanilla category as discussed in the preamble of my last post.
  2. She wasn’t that hot. High 6, low 7 at best.
  3. I’ve been rather busy and am struggling to finish anything at the moment. I’ve got 4 posts half written, one will be a little controversial and I look forward to the pot being stirred when I publish it.

I will keep this relatively short due to reasons 1 and 2…

It was the beginning of August, a beautifully sunny day in London and it was probably the first day I felt upbeat after traversing the worst of my post Euro Jaunt blues. I was solo, popping off set after set and had just number closed a high 8 that was leaving the next day.  We arranged to meet for a drink later that evening and all I was thinking was SDDL, my vibe was reaching peak Euro Jaunt levels on Oxford street. Madness.

I walked towards Tottenham court road with a big grin on my face and people probably thought I was crazy. I spotted a short athletic looking brunette walking towards me. She was wearing tight jeans and a white boob tube which showed off a tanned, flat stomach and a nice hip to waist ratio. I didn’t get a good look at her face but she had a cracking body.

When I got in front I saw that her face wasn’t as good as her body, she looked older than her athletic frame, maybe late 20’s and her skin was tough, it had seen more than enough sun. I produced words of which I no recollection and she seemed to like them. As I talked to her I had a quick look over her shoulder, she was very short so this was not difficult. In the distance I could see the 8 I’d just closed walking straight towards us. FUUUUCK!

I left control of the set to my well drilled muscle memory and assessed my options.

  1. I could carry on as normal and hope the 8 wouldn’t see me talking to this rotter (in comparison)
  2. I could grab rotter by the arm and pull her into the shop we were standing outside
  3. I could leave rotter for dead
  4. I could request rotter to walk with me

I went with option 4. I turned and started walking away from the oncoming 8, yes, it went against every fibre in my being. Rotter followed. We jabbered on about fitness, I told her how I had just bought a new pair of trainers and how I don’t normally wear trainers, I normally wear big manly cowboy boots, trainers are gay. She was lapping it up and starting lots of new threads of conversation. I glanced back over my shoulder and the 8 was keeping pace about 20m behind us. I thought for certain she will have seen us. We got all the way to Tottenham court road, I looked back again and the 8 was nowhere to be seen.

I tried to idate the rotter but she told me she was on her way home to pack before she went on holiday to her home country of Portugal for three weeks. Great.

I took her number and we went our separate ways.

I pinged the 8 an hour before we were due to meet (we agreed in set) and it stayed on two grey ticks, she flaked. She must have seen me with the rotter after all.

Rotter was a very keen texter, sending me the first text and sending me lots of beach pics whilst she was on holiday. If I ever had to bet my house on calling a notch before the D2, I would have bet it on this one.


We set up the date for the day after she got back from her holiday. She turned up dressed to the nines and was wearing pink high heels, a beige dress which parted at her stomach to show off her impressive midriff and had put on quite a bit of make-up. I turned up in my usual jeans and T-Shirt and voiced her disappointment before even saying hello, “this is you dressing cute?!” I made an internal memo never to use the “dress cute so we match” text again.

I took her to two pubs then took her home and banged her. She put up resistance every step of the way, but it was all face saving. I just knew from the way she was texting before our first date, the way she dressed and how she reacted to nearly everything I said that she was gagging for it. However, it took me 5 attempts to get the first kiss, 3 invites back to the flat before she complied and about 30 minutes of LMR in the bedroom.

I’m still wondering what could have been with that 8, the joys of daygame.

Lay Report: SDDL a Scottish Persian

She was curvier than this, but this is more or less what she was wearing

Most lays are quite vanilla in that I follow the same routine and get more or less the same outcome, expecting anything different is the definition of insanity, right? However, some have a few quirks which you learn from that reinforce the harsh reality of male and female mating strategies. This is one of the latter…

Yesterday (Friday) my good friend the Cheshire Gent (CG) came down to visit me from Manchester, he would be sleeping on my living room couch which is next to my bedroom for the weekend. I got back from work at around 17:30 and he met me at my apartment to drop his bag off. I was quite tired after a stressful week at the office, however, CG regaled me with tales of his daygame adventures in my old stomping ground and lifted my vibe with his seemingly never ending positivity. We hit the streets at around 18:30. We took our first lap up Oxford street towards Tottenham court road. I announced “My intent is very low, I’m only doing a set if I see a ratbag with SDL written on her forehead.” CG popped off a quick set or two as we made our way up the street. The sky looked ominously grey and the heavens threatened to open at any minute. As I commented on this to CG a short Persian looking girl dressed in black doc martins, black jeans, a black boob tube and a black leather jacket came walking towards. There was no IOI but my SDL radar felt a mild beep, there was a bit of hip sway, she was walking quite slow and her eyes were wandering. I looked at her, looked at CG and he said “you have to do that one!” I knew he was right.

I got in front of her and it was on before I opened my mouth. I motioned her to stop with my hand and she planted her feet firmly in front of mine and gave me a beaming smile. I told her she was pretty in a biker chick kind of way and asked her where her helmet was. We chatted for around 5 minutes and I found out she was born in Scotland but grew up in London. One of her parents is from Afghanistan and the other from Pakistan, hence the Persian look. She had just finished her shift in a hipster coffee shop and said that she needed a drink as she was exhausted from talking to so many people all day. She seemed to be full of energy and I told her this, again I was leeching vibe from another person. I told her she had crazy eyes but I liked them and immediately she jerked her head forward and made big eyes at me. This girl was bat shit crazy, PERFECT.

I suggested a drink there and then, she said sure but was supposed to be meeting a “friend” who is currently running late. I told her she could meet her friend after.

We took a walk down Charing Cross road and the heavens opened on cue just before we ducked our heads in the Montague Pyke. I got us both a beer and we sat a table opposite each other up stairs.

I carried on the comfort fluff, examined her tattoos and noticed she had piercings but was not wearing the studs. I examined her black nail varnish as I stroked her hands she squeezed mine back. It was on.

We chatted about travel, her hopes and dreams and her current living situation in London. She was 22 and lived with her mother, they are both estranged from the rest of her family and she hadn’t spoken to her dad since she was a child. BINGO!

As we got to the end of our drinks her phone started ringing. It was on the table and I could see that it was a good looking guy calling her. She answered and told him she would be there in five minutes.

So that’s your friend you are meeting?

Yes, but it’s just a friend, he has a girlfriend and always asks me out for relationship advice

Ah, so you’re an agony aunt?

I’m great at giving advice, if only I could follow my own

OK, well it’s almost 8pm now, I’m meeting my friends for dinner but lets meet at around 10pm for another drink

Yes, that sounds like a good idea

We left the bar and had a cigarette before going our separate ways. I returned to CG and we joined Ricky and Mr W for dinner and a beer. She pinged me as I sat down to join them and this was the proceeding text exchange…

As you can see, I broke just about every texting rule in the book, but I knew it didn’t matter.

She was around 40 minutes late for our meeting and she sneakily changed the meeting point to H&M. As I stood there waiting I stuck my head up towards Top Shop, I could see her hugging a tall man and that he was trying to kiss her. She kept turning her head away from him and just hugged him back. I could see him walking away to get on the tube at Oxford circus. She then called me asking where I was. I told her I was where she asked me to meet her. She walked over and I could see that she was a little bit tipsy.

There was no apology and she tried to lead us to a bar. I pulled her back by the hand and slapped her on the back of it. I playfully told her off for making me wait and demanded an apology which she duly delivered.

I lead us to the Finery around the corner and as we stood at the bar she told me about her evening…

I’m sorry I was so late, but my friend bought me dinner and wine and we just had such good conversation that I lost track of time

Ah, so you did the pair of you crack world peace?

Noooo, he kept complaining about his girlfriend and telling me how great I was

Ah ok

Yeah, then he tried to kiss me at the end, like he always does

I sniggered to myself. This guy had clearly friend zoned himself and was hoping to wine and dine his way into her pussy. I asked her if she thought men and women could be friends and of course she said yes.

As I got the drinks I pointed to a big round table with a couch and told her to grab it, I would bring the drinks over. I did so and she got the wrong table, a high table with stools. I brought the beers over and told her off again for getting the wrong table which had now been taken by another couple. I started the questions game and these were her first questions;

How many women have you slept with?

Would you describe yourself as good in bed?

Have you ever thought about having sex with a man?

I asked her some sexual questions back and then she went off into a rant;

Modern society sickens me, we get shamed for following our natural desires, I mean this is London, what’s wrong with having a one night stand every now and then? I mean sex is great, I’ve had lots of one nights stands, well not a lot, I’m not a whore, but I enjoy sex. We will probably have sex tonight and never see each other again and I think that is beautiful.

You are preaching to the choir little lady

Don’t call me little!

Ok short arse

We finished our drink and it was now almost midnight. I walked us towards my apartment and she didn’t even ask where we were going. I got to the front door and up she came with no resistance. I gave her a little tour and poured us some wine. We went into my bedroom and I played her some tunes on the guitar. She has very similar taste in music to me so she was entranced.

I put the guitar down and she started showing me some videos on Youtube as we lay on the bed. Before long our clothes were off and she said the magic words “do you have a condom?”

We had sex for about 2 hours straight and to say she was wild would be a massive understatement, she really liked to deep throat and was quite dominating saying things like;

Fuck me harder, spank me !

Thats it, thats iiiiit

Make me cum, make me fucking cuuuum!

We recovered for about half an hour, she put my red Trump T-shirt on as we both had a cigarette out my window. I finished mine first and started to fondle her ass from behind as she was bent over with her head out the window. She started wanking me off and I got hard again very quickly, I went inside her as she was moaning wildly with her head out the window. It was around 3am so not many people walked by.

She left the next morning at around 10am, I was so exhausted from dehydration, lack of sleep and my ball sack being drained that I had a pounding headache. I must be getting too old for this shit.

After she left I went into the living room to catch up with CG. “Maaaaate, I could hear everything, all I could hear was your little plums slapping away and I didn’t get a wink of sleep all night… I had to piss in a bottle!” He pointed to the mantle piece and a bottle of water was filled with an illuminous yellow liquid. I cracked up laughing and apologised, these are the moments I will remember when I’m old and grey.



Lay Report: Kuwaiti SDL

She wasn’t this hot.

This lay was a gift from the Gods; some times you just have to show up…

I haven’t been blogging a lot mainly because I haven’t had time since plugging back into the blue pill world. But don’t worry, I have been plugging away at the daygame and have a few tales to tell about this past bank holiday weekend. The sun shone throughout and the short shorts and skirts were out in force. On Saturday I winged with GG before meeting up for drinks with Craig Cassidy in the evening. He regaled us with some crazy stories from his world tour and I told some from my little jaunt. We did some gutter game and I idated a nice Croatian girl. I got her number at the end but it went nowhere.

I got back to the flat at around 1am and didn’t feel tired so GG and I decided to stay up all night and watch the pantomime that was Mayweather vs McGregor. We only got to bed at 6am so didn’t end up leaving the flat until gone 3pm on the Sunday.

GG opened lots of Asians in true gamma form; I did a few sets too. The highlight for me was when I opened a Brazilian mother-daughter two-set. They were walking very slowly down Oxford Street and almost all male heads were turning in their direction as they walked by. I never do two-sets but I thought, feck it, it’s only a laugh, the fact that the daughter had one of the best racks I’d seen had nothing to do with it. It went quite well and the four of us ended up going for a drink nearby. I took the daughter’s number and GG the mothers. They’ve both replied to the feeler so hopefully this story will be continued.

On Monday all my wings were out of town and I was in the mood for a solo session before meeting a Portuguese girl at 7pm for a D2, I was in good spirits. I hit the streets at around 4pm and by this point the mercury had hit 280C. There were not many sets around despite the nice weather, in the first hour I opened two girls and didn’t get anything from either. At around 5.15pm I decided to take a detour off Oxford street down Argyll street. I got to the bottom of the street and saw a short Persian girl with long, thick black curly hair taking pictures of the Liberty building. She was wearing a tight navy blue t-shirt, tight denim blue jeans and a pair of trainers. She was slim but had curves in all the right places, a low 7.

As I made my way towards her she picked up the pace and starting walking very fast towards and up Regent street. By the time I caught her she was about to enter the H&M.

My opener was shit; I told her she looked like Cruella DeVil as her big thick hair was covering one of her eyes. She gave me a confused look as I carried on with my stack. I told her she looked very Persian but she sounded more American (she had interrupted my stack a couple of times). She told me she had Persian roots but lived in America for 7 years. I found out she was here alone on holiday and had just under a week left. She was in the same line of work as me; the eye contact was very sexual as we talked shop about our respective careers. It doesn’t really matter what you talk about as long as you can sub-communicate your real intentions. After a few minutes of this she said, “are you busy now? We could go for a drink?” I pulled out my phone to check the time, it was 5.30pm. My plan was to go home and freshen up at around 6pm for my date at 7pm. I put my phone back in my pocket and said, “sure, I know a place around the corner.”

I walked us to O’Neills in Carnaby street, we sat outside, I got a Guinness and she had a Heineken. We carried on the comfort fluff and I threw in some light kino, touching her hands to comment on her jewellery. She returned it instantly and was cooing at my rings. She still hadn’t told me where she was from and seemed ashamed to tell me, I kept guessing and eventually I got the right answer… Kuwait, I didn’t have that flag. She was staring into my eyes and said “I have to tell you a secret… your eyes are amazing”. Had she been reading my blog for game advice?!

I asked her what she had planned for the evening before I stopped her “I was on my way to find somewhere to watch the sunset.” I excused myself to go to the toilet. It was now around 5.50pm and I had just over an hour until my date. I had a decision to make. This girl clearly had nothing planned for the evening and seemed to be attracted to me so I decided to reschedule the Portuguese, she lives in London so there would always be another opportunity to take her out. I sent her an excuse and returned to the Kuwaiti.

We were getting to the end of our drinks when the Kuwaiti, “Would you like to go somewhere to watch the sunset?” Why yes, yes I would. We walked towards Regents Park and stopped at a shop along the way to get a bottle of wine, which she paid for. It was now around 6.30pm. We sat down, I poured the wine and we toasted “to spontaneity”, I leant in for the first kiss attempt and she was all in. I pushed her off and started the questions game. The main things I recall her telling me was that she was 30 (she looks like she’s in her early 20’s), had only ever had two relationships, was not a virgin and was born Muslim but had never been in a mosque. The kissing got more and more passionate as the wine was consumed, before long she had my jeans undone and was wanking me off in the park whilst families were walking past. She clearly wasn’t a typical Muslim girl. It was now around 8pm, I suggested we pick up some food and go back to mine. She liked this idea.

When we got back to the flat I dropped the food in the kitchen and took her straight to the bedroom. I took her top and bra off and started sucking on her large breasts, she was moaning with pleasure so I removed my jeans. I tried to get hers off but she was having none of it. She insisted on giving me a tremendous blowjob and asked that I cum all over her tits. I obliged. We got dressed and went back to the kitchen to eat the food. After this we went back to the bedroom, I played her some tunes on the guitar and we messed around a bit before I got her fully undressed, she put up more LMR saying that she doesn’t have sex on the first date. I reasoned with her that this was not any normal first date and I quoted a line word for word from Vicky, Cristina, Barcelona “Why not? Life is dull, life is full of pain and this is a chance for something special.” Before long all our clothes were off and I was inside her. This is the first time I successfully used logic to persuade a girl to have sex, or so I thought.
Afterwards I asked her when she decided that she was going to have sex, she said, “when you played the guitar.”





Lay Report: First London notch of 2017

The closest I found when I typed half Chinese/Indian into google… She’s hotter than this.

I’ve been back in London for just under two weeks now, the daygame has been tough and my vibe has generally been shit as a result; I’ve done 86 sets, got 12 numbers, 9 of these did not respond to the feeler and I’ve had only one date (apart from the near miss). These stats are as thoroughly depressing as the quality on display compared to my jaunting days. However, it only takes one set to turn everything around…

Last Thursday I was walking down Oxford street at around 4pm. I saw a cute Asian girl on the other side of the road dressed all in black. Unlike GG, I very rarely open Asian girls, I just don’t find them that hot. This one looked a bit different though, maybe Kazakh said my pre-calibration.

Open – Thursday 20 July 

I ran across the road and opened her whilst I was slightly out of breath, she noticed this and giggled as soon as I opened. It was a very solid set, lasting around 15 minutes, I probably could have idated her but I decided against it as she lived in London and had plans later that evening. During the set I found out she was 23, had just finished a degree in ‘fashion history’, was born in Hong Kong but her Dad is from Nepal, hence her different look. She looks Asian, but her eyes are bigger and her hips and breasts are curvier than your typical Chinese girl, she was hot. A high 7 in my book.


There was some back and forth over the weekend, we both had plans so I set the date up for the following Monday. She agreed to it but tried to snatch the frame a few times over text. First she asked if I could come to her area as she was low on cash. I refused telling her that I don’t know her area, I was inviting her out so I would get the drinks. She agreed to meet me in from of Top Shop on Oxford street. A few hours before this she texted asking if we could go to a sushi place she knew which was half way across London from our agreed meeting point. I refused again telling her that we were just having a drink and that there was a nice place I wanted to take her to near Oxford street. She stopped with the shit tests.

D2 – Monday 24 July – 19:30

She turned up looking very hot in black shiny plimsolls, tight denim blue jeans, a racy black boob tube which had rips in it, almost like Wolverine had clawed at it, under this you could see her lacy black bra which was showing off her surprisingly perky breasts. Over this she wore a black lacy blazer and a leopard skin scarf. She had a bit of makeup on but not too much and had made a real effort, I really wanted to bang her.

The first venue was a Sam Smiths pub called the Cocks Tavern. We did the usual comfort fluff as I drank a beer and she had a double vodka and orange juice. She would mention a few times that she was working in the morning and could not have a late night. We spoke about her family, her work and her hobbies. As I was shifting from 1st into 2nd she decided to go straight to 4th asking “what type of girls do you normally date?”. Prior to this point I was thinking this girl would probably take a few dates to get the notch, now I decided to go for it on this one.

I walked her to the second venue which was another Sam Smiths pub called the Horse & Groom. It was now 20:30 and I was already planning the bounce to my apartment which was not even a stone’s throw away. The bar was empty so we got a couch at the back, perfect for escalating. As I ordered the drinks at the bar I pinged the guys telling them that I would be bouncing back to the flat after this drink.

I started the questions game and things got sexual very quickly, her first question was “have you ever had a one night stand?”. I told her I’d had a few and she told me that she had never had one. Yeah right. After a couple of sips of beer I went for the first kiss attempt. There was no resistance on her part, but she was a terrible kisser, she kept biting me.

Soon after this I invited her up for some wine and again, there was no resistance to this idea. I gave her a little tour of the flat, both the boys had their bedroom doors shut so I poured us some wine and took her straight to the bedroom. By 21:30 she was on my bed, just under 2 hours after meeting. I gave her about 15-20 minutes to feel more comfortable, I played a couple of tunes on the guitar and showed her some pictures. Before long all of our clothes were off and I was banging her raw-dog. I came on her stomach within about 2 minutes. She asked “we’re gonna go again, right?”. It was now around 22:00 and I was getting tired, she seemed to have forgotten about getting up early for work in the morning and wanted more.

I banged her again on the bed, against the wall, on the desk in my room and she also mounted me as I sat on the chair. As she was on top I leant back on the chair so that it went onto its hind legs. As I did this the hind legs buckled and we both ended up on the floor! This debauchery went on for quite a while, we finally finished banging at around 00:45 and I was exhausted and dripping with sweat.


She told me that she knew she wanted to fuck as soon as she agreed to come upstairs to the apartment. She asked me how many sexual partners I have had, I gave her an honest approximation (50-60). She told me she had less than 10, I don’t believe this for a second.

At around 01:00 she asked me if I could order her an uber as the last tubes had now gone. I’d already spent £20 on two rounds at the bar so I was reluctant to spend the same again on getting her home. I offered that she stay until the morning and get the tube home, she agreed and we banged again in the morning.
Will I see her again?

Maybe, she is hot and is great in bed. On the flipside, she is a bit princessy and doesn’t seem to have much going on in her life, I’d probably get bored of her very quickly. When she left this morning she didn’t mention seeing each other again so maybe I won’t get the choice.




Lay Report: Yes girl with dreads

She wasn’t this hot, in fact, she looked nothing like this.

This one is completely opposite to the last girl in every way, this is the unpredictability of daygame.

It was Friday night, around 10.30pm. I was walking around with Krauser and hadn’t done a set all day. I was quite content with my lot for the trip and was now taking it easy. Khreschatyk was eerily quiet and frankly, I was bored of it. I suggested to Krauser that the Postal Area might be worth a crack. We jumped on the metro and after one stop on the red line, we alighted. There were more people around and the vibe was significantly more pleasant, this was mainly due to the absence of what Krauser had affectionately coined “turkroaches” and sex workers.

As we started our first lap down the street a short girl with dreadlocks and a white dress displaying an impressive cleavage threw me a glance. I was happy to let it go, she was a 6. Krauser said something like “she gave you a BIG look”. I reluctantly made chase.

Open – Friday 7 July – 10.50pm

I got in front of her and said “Excuuuuse me”. She put out her hand and said “My name is Mila”. It was definitely an IOI then. I told her that her dreadlocks were interesting and asked her if she was from Jamaica. She looked confused, I dropped it and went into normal chit chat. You don’t need to game them if they’re already complying. I went for the idate but she told me that she had to get home. I explained that I was only here for two more days but I would like to take her for a drink before I leave. She gave me her number and off she went.

Epic Text Game

D2 – Saturday 8 July – 8pm
She arrived in what looked like the same outfit but with big black platform high heels and a bit more make-up. She looked very bangable, but not a girl I would gladly parade in front of my wings.

I walked her to Roast and Brew. We did the usual comfort fluff and this is where I found out that she was bonkers, just how I like them. She was the same age as me (Eeeeeuw), had two daughters and was divorced. She had 3 jobs. 1 – a dog groomer, 2- a psychologist and 3 – a sexologoist as well as being a single parent. She told me she liked to dabble in witchcraft, I asked her if I should be scared and she said “no, I can see that your soul is good”. OK.

I bounced her to the Chillout Cafe. We sat on a couch, I had a beer and she a cocktail. I started the questions game and she didn’t waste any time getting sexual. I went for the kiss and she rebuffed my first 3 attempts. Eventually, at around 11pm I got the kiss.

We left at around 11.30pm and I suggested we have some wine at my place which just so happened to be upstairs. She resisted a little but I took her hand and walked her towards the apartment and she followed.

When we got into the flat we sat on the couch for around an hour drinking wine and she was showing me pictures of her kids on her facebook. It felt weird.

Eventually I got her into the bedroom, there was about an hour of LMR before I banged her at around 1.30am. The sex was good but I could see the signs of age on her body. Her large breasts had lines on them when she lay on her back, she explained that this was from breast feeding. She had scars on her hips, this is from when they did surgery to remove her stretch marks. She was still in great shape, but I’ll stick to YHT in future.

She was in an uber by 2.20am and I was eating a kebab in my boxers whilst watching Trump meet Putin on Youtube by 02.40am. This is what happens when you’re above game.

Lay Report – D6 (!!!) Victory


The Thursday before last at around 10.30pm, I was walking with Krauser and Xants on what were turning into perpetual laps of Kreschatyk street. I would soon be meeting violin girl for a first date.

I saw a pretty little brunette pass me by in a blue dress with tied back hair and blue sandals. She reminded me of Penelope Cruz, she was a solid, if not high 7.

Open – Thursday 29 June

I told her she looked like a ballerina and she hooked instantly. Her English was great, she is actually an English teacher and was on her way home from teaching an evening class. She’s 24 and from a small city a few hours away from Kiev. I took her number and made my way to meet the violinist.

I pinged her the next day and she seemed quite keen, there was some back and forth and eventually we decided to meet the following Sunday.

D2 – Sunday 2 July 

Over text she had expressed a wish to take me to a different part of Kiev. I agreed to meet her at 8pm at the Postal Area, it was nice to get away from Kreschatyk. We walked up and down the river front before crossing over the suspension bridge to buy a couple of drinks and smoke hookah by the river whilst watching the sunset.

I didn’t try any “gamey” stuff, I just talked to her like a normal person whilst weaving in little DHV’s about myself and teasing her every now and then.

At around 10.30pm I took her to bar on the waterfront where I sat beside her on a couch. I got the first kiss on the first attempt at around 11pm before we both got the metro home at around mid-night.

I enjoyed this first date, she seemed like a smart girl and had some banter. However, the shit tests just poured out of her. E.g. she would question my every decision from meeting point, choice of table, choice of drink etc. Most men would probably give up or lose patience with such a girl. This led me to place her firmly in the K selected box, I was assuming her notch count was less than 5.

At the end of the date she told me she would be going away on Friday for a long weekend. When she would return I would have already left Kiev. I made a mental note to try and cram in as many dates between now and then as possible.

I pinged her the next day and suggested coffee. She suggested a walk instead. I conceded the frame. Again.

D3 – Tuesday 4 July – 3.30pm

I met her between her classes for two hours. We went for a walk through a park up to the rainbow looking thing at the top of Kreschatyk. We talked about boring stuff whilst I got a spike in every few minutes or so. We had a few kisses and she went back to work at 5.30pm.

D4 – Wednesday 5 July – 3.30pm

She wanted to show me some monument that was just out of the centre. I took a metro and met her there. We went for another long walk to this big monument before getting an uber back to Kreschatyk where we had a coffee before she went to work at 6pm. We agreed to meet the next evening for alcohol before she would leave on Friday afternoon.

D5 – Wednesday 6 July – 10.30pm

She had just finished her lesson and pinged me asking what I was up to. I just so happened to be gutter gaming on Kreschatyk, where she wanted to meet. I walked her straight back to mine, a glass of wine, lots of kissing but she stopped my attempts to escalate further and left after around half an hour.

D6 – Thursday 6 July – 10.15pm

Last chance saloon. I met her on Kreschatyk and she looked great considering she had just finished work. She wore a little black dress and black trainers. The dress was showing off a little bit of cleavage. I really wanted to bang her.

I started walking her in the direction of my apartment. As we walked past the chillout cafe next to my apartment I meekly suggested we go for a drink in there. She ignored this so I walked her straight up to the apartment.

She made herself comfortable by removing her shoes and taking a seat on a chair (not the couch where I could sit beside her). I poured the wine and she started showing me music she liked on youtube, it was actually good.

I sat on the couch adjacent to her chair. It took me about 30 minutes to get her to sit beside me. Once she did we were kissing quite heavily. She would pull away first every time which frustrated the shit out of me. She complained a few times that I was rushing things. Inside I was thinking, “Rushing?!!!, this is a D6, D fucking 6, do you know how many girls I have had on a D6? Zero, that’s how many, ZERO!”. But I didn’t say this.

At around midnight I eventually got her into the bedroom. I gave her a massage and soon her clothes were off and we were fucking. The sex was great, there’s no way her notch count was less than 5 in hindsight.


She told me she knew from the first date that she wanted to have sex with me, she just wanted to make me wait as long as possible.

I banged her two more times and then suggested she get an uber home at around 3am. She was not happy at all with this. She got up and threw her clothes on in a huff. I walked her down to the Uber and she didn’t say a word to me as she got in the car. I pinged her afterwards, she’s read it and not replied. I explained this to Krauser and he said “she know’s she lost and you won, I wouldn’t worry about it”.

I got a question on twitter “If you could do it all over again, would you?”. I think I would. Most of the dates were low opportunity cost, I didn’t have anything else on and half of them were during the day when the daygame typically isn’t as good. She was hot, even though I had to put up with her princessy behaviour, the sex was definitely worth it.









Lay Report: 20yr Old Violinist

Her eyes weren’t as big as this but everything else is about right

I’ve been in Kiev for 10 days now, it’s been eventful and I like this city more than Moscow by a country mile. I’ve done a fair bit of daygame, some night game and have had two near misses. I got my first lay a week in, here’s the story…

It was quite late on Tuesday evening past, around 11pm. Xants was on a date which would lead to the first notch of the trip. I was gutter gaming with Krauser and was waiting for him to finish a set at the top of Khreschatyk street. A cute brunette drifted past me in a white blouse, green skirt and green plimsolls, she looked very K. Lets call her Kera, she’s a bog standard 7.


She looked dreamy. I told her this and challenged her as to why she was wandering around on her own on a Tuesday night looking so happy with herself. Kera told me that she had just received her results from her University and that she had done very well in her exams. This seemed like a great cause to celebrate so I suggested we grab a drink right there and then. There weren’t many sets around, Krauser was talking about going home soon and I had to stay out of the flat while Xants got his notch, it seemed like a win-win. She agreed so I walked us to the nearest bar where we could sit outside which happened to be a place called Casta.


Kera told me she doesn’t normally drink alcohol but today was a special occasion. She perused the cocktail menu like it was the first time she’d ever seen a cocktail menu. I ordered a beer, she eeny-meeny-miney-moed and landed on a long Island Ice tea.

We did the comfort fluff. I found out she was 20 years old, played classical violin, was from a small city and moved to Kiev 2 years ago to study music. I asked her why she wasn’t celebrating with her friends if it was such a big occasion. She told me she had just been walking all afternoon with her friend and now her friend had gone home.

I have heard of this “walking” past-time from several girls in Kiev now, please do not confuse it with the Walker Walk. There seem to be a few different types of girls that do the “walking”…

  1. Whores looking to solicit greasy, fat Turkish men
  2. Girls looking to attract attention from normal men
  3. Girls who genuinely have nothing better to do or more importantly can’t afford to do so
  4. Girls who are genuinely trying to get from A to B

I put Kera firmly in category 3.

We had one drink, I suggested going back to mine but she made excuses and I ordered her an uber and as we waited I got a proper kiss with a little bit of tongue.

The next day I pinged her to suggest we meet on Thursday evening at 9pm. She responded saying yes, but would only be available at 11pm. I took this late meeting as a good sign so I agreed.

At around 10.30 I pinged her to confirm, she messaged back a 10.40 saying she could meet now.


I bumped into her at the top of Kreschatyk as I was walking with Krauser and Xants.

She looked cute in a blue flowery dress and a white cardigan. I walked her to the Irish bar and walked us straight to the booths at the back. We sat down and she expressed her desire to sit in the main bar so that she could watch the band. I said “no, I didn’t bring you here to watch music, I brought you here so I could speak to you, it will be too loud in there”.

She looked unimpressed. The waitress came and spoke in Ukrainian to Kera asking us if we would go to the main bar. I told her, obviously in English, that we would be sitting here.

We ordered drinks, she ordered food, only a salad so it didn’t break the bank. She asked again if we could go to the other side, she really wanted to watch the band. I relented due to the fact that she was a musician so I told her I would go look for a table, she should wait in our seats. I took a wander and there were no good seats, the band was really loud and really shit. I walked back to tell her this and she had already gathered all her things and was walking towards me.

I told her to sit back down, she said no, lets go to the main bar. I told her

“you can go to the main bar, I will go home. I came here to speak to you, if you don’t want that I will leave now”.

She hurried back to our seats. There were a few moments of awkward silence, I think she was scared of me at this point but also massively attracted by the dominance and my willingness to walk away.

We had one drink each, she ate her salad and I suggested we go for a walk. We walked in the direction of my apartment, as we got closer I pointed to the flat and said “I live just there, let’s go up for a glass of wine and you can show me some of your favourite classical music on youtube”. She hesitated and I said “you can leave if you feel uncomfortable at any moment”. She followed me up.

We got inside, I showed her around and poured us some wine and she chose a Tchaikovsky Violin Concerto on Youtube, it was really fucking good. We kissed a lot and I tried to pull her to the bedroom 3 or 4 times but she kept resisting.

It was now pushing 3am, I got up, took her hand and pulled her towards the bedroom, she followed. I put her on the bed, went back and fetched the laptop and the wine. We watched some more Youtube and fooled around. It took me about an hour, but by around 4am I finally beat the LMR and banged her whilst Tchaikovsky played in the background. Culture.


She told me she had only ever had sex with one person before, her boyfriend of three years. She said the sex with him was terrible and that it was so much better with me. We only did missionary and I lasted 5 minutes. That guy must have been really bad in bed.

We’re still in contact so I may get her round for seconds… if I get bored of trying to get fresh notches. So probably not.

Learning Points

  1. Even if you put her in the k box, it doesn’t mean she won’t bang
  2. A lot of girls in Kiev are very poor
  3. Frame is everything – I’m pretty sure the moment I threatened to walk out got me the notch
  4. Classical music is great to have sex to

Lay Report: 17 year old Russian

She was a lot younger looking than this girl.

Last night I banged a 17 year old, the youngest girl in my game journey so far. She looks very young and I am still slightly worried that she could actually be younger as she didn’t show me any ID. Here’s the full story…

Last Tuesday evening at around 6pm I was walking with Krauser towards the Arbatskaya underpass. I saw a young looking girl coming to the top of the stairs as we were about to go down. She was wearing a red top with a black frilly skirt and converse shoes, she had long brunette hair, big brown eyes and was thin with pale skin. She had a very slavic looking face, no make-up, high cheek bones and small but pouty lips. This girl was a solid 7. I peeled off from Nick and opened her from the front, no wheel of fortune/yad stop necessary.


I delivered the compliment and immediately she told me she did not speak English. I carried on with my stack, albeit slowly. She started smiling and said something in Russian. I got out my phone and we did a few back and forths on google translate. I found out she was from Moscow, was a student as well as an instagram blogger, she has over 40,000 followers. She was very timid but I think this was mainly due to the language barrier. She motioned that she had to leave so I took her number. Nick would later tell me that he would have opened her but she looked too ‘jail-batey’.

Intermission 1

I pinged her that evening, we chatted and set up a date for the following Saturday at 7pm. On the day she text me to ask if we could make our meeting earlier, she now had other plans for the evening. I was a little annoyed but I didn’t have anything else on so I agreed to meet her for a coffee at 5.30pm.


I met her at the same metro station, she turned up dressed all in black, a tight black top, a black skirt, black tights and black shoes, still no make-up but she didn’t need it, she looked hot. I greeted her and as I Walker Walked her down Old Arbat street the heavens opened, the weather has been unseasonably terrible for my first two weeks in Moscow. I rushed her to the nearest coffee shop which was a ‘gook cafe’. We sat opposite each other, I ordered a pot of tea and strangely she didn’t want anything. Most of the conversation was done over google translate and I thought that it was going nowhere.

We discussed her instagram profile. All her pictures are very dark, she’s got black eye contacts with blood running out of her eyes in a lot of them, proper freaky shit. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t getting involved with another witch. She explained that she is not like the person in the pictures at all, in fact she’s the opposite. She just does what the advertisers ask and she gets paid. This was re-assuring and made sense as she seemed like a very sweet and timid K-selected girl.

I started the questions game and she asked me if I had any gay friends, I said yes, I even lived with one. She showed me a picture on her phone of her gay best friend. Soon after this I got up to go to the toilet. There was a queue. As I stood there waiting I looked back at our table and a guy who looked exactly like the photo she had just shown me sat down beside her and they both seemed to be speaking very excitedly. I felt a sense of rage building up inside me and decided that I would go to the toilet, go back to the table, say hi and then walk out.

When I returned from the toilet I shook the guys hand, he introduced himself in perfect English and was very polite. He then excused himself and went to sit at the other side of the cafe. I was bemused by all of this, so I asked her why she invited her friend. She said that it was a coincidence that he was in the same coffee shop. At the time I didn’t believe her and I still don’t. However, this is a young girl meeting an older man from a different country, it is a big ask of any girl to meet a stranger never mind a 17 year old. So this was probably her way of making herself feel safe. Soon after this she said she had to go, I told her we would meet for a real drink next time and that she was not allowed to make any plans afterwards. She smiled and agreed.

Intermission 2

I pinged her the next day and we agreed to meet again the following Friday. On the Tuesday she text to ask if we could meet on Wednesday evening instead. I agreed.

The text thread above shows my date confirmation on the day. I found it very cute that she asked whether she should wear heels and if she could take my arm. I normally don’t link arms, especially if I haven’t had sex with the girl, but I relented on this occasion.


I met her at the same metro station and she turned up in ridiculously big, white high heels, a beige skirt and a white blouse. She had put a little bit of make-up on and she looked great. As I walked over to meet her I saw another guy trying to chat her up, I walked over and greeted her with a light kiss on the cheek, she looked very grateful to be saved from the creepy guy as he scuttled off in embarrassment.

Immediately she linked onto my arm and I walked her down Old Arbat towards a bar called Eric the Red. It was a warm day so we sat beside each other on a table outside. She ordered a cider, I got a beer and some snacks and we resumed our conversation. Her English seemed to be a little better but we were still mostly using google translate. I asked her;

“how do I know that you are not younger than 17? If you are I could get into a lot of trouble” I was genuinely worried.

“I don’t have my passport with me” She said as her face went red.

“Do you have a picture of it on your phone?”


“Ok, is your date of birth on your facebook?”

“I don’t have facebook, you will just have to trust me.”

She told me her date of birth was 13 February…. I asked which year, and she typed in 2009 into my phone by accident.

“You cannot be EIGHT years old!!”

She giggled and corrected it to 2000. So if her date of birth is correct, she is indeed 17.

After this I walked her across the road to Ulysses pub. This is a darker venue with couches and is slightly closer to my apartment.

We sat beside each other on a couch, I got a Guinness and she a glass of red wine. I was stroking her bare legs and she wasn’t resisting, I went for the kiss, she pulled away but gave me a peck on the lips.

“I don’t like to kiss in public” she typed into google translate.

When we were almost finished the drinks I pointed to the battery meter on my phone, it was at 7%, I genuinely needed to charge it.

I told her that I lived nearby and that I would like to go back and charge my phone. She said that seems like a nice coincidence. I said that I would have invited her back even if I did not need to charge my phone. She smiled and agreed to come back.

I excused myself to go to the bathroom, when I came back she was on the phone to her mother. I asked if everything is ok and she said that her mum wants her to go home right away to study. I asked her if she was going and she smiled and said “No, I’ll go later”. I quickly paid the bill and walked her back to my place. It was roughly a 7 minute walk, I would normally talk rubbish about nothing at this point but she wouldn’t understand, I couldn’t use google translate either as my phone had now died. So there was a lot of silence on the walk back.

I finally got her inside the apartment and gave her a little tour. I offered her a drink and she chose red wine.

I got the laptop and sat down beside her on the couch in my bedroom. She chose some Tartastan rap music, it was terrible but I put up with it. We took a sip of wine and her phone rang again, it was her mum. It sounded like they were arguing, but after a few minutes she hung up the phone. I was fearing the worst, I asked her if everything was ok, she said;

“I need to leave soon”.

I pulled her in and started kissing, she was all over me. I squeezed her thigh as I was kissing her, she grabbed my hand and moved it to her ass. GREEN LIGHT.

I started fingering her and she started moaning loudly before pushing my hand away and reaching for her phone. FUCK.

She started typing into google translate;

“Do you have condom”

“Yes, Yes I do”

I moved her to the bed, we both threw our clothes off and had sex. She was so tight and her body was amazing, small boobs, a big but firm ass and long legs. I came pretty quickly and she seemed a little disappointed.


I asked her when she decided she wanted to have sex, she said only now as in, when we got to the apartment. I told her that she is the youngest girl I’ve had sex with and she told me that I was the oldest man. It felt good.

She quickly put her clothes back on and I walked her to the nearest metro, it was all over and done with by 10pm.

I met up with Nick, Ricky Roma, Mr Arr and Gollum the Gamma afterwards for a drink. I was explaining how I didn’t really know how on it was with this girl throughout the pick-up until I got her into my flat, this was mainly due to the language barrier and her age. Nick came up with a nice analogy. He said if you look back at every point in the pick-up, it may not have felt like it at the time, but it was on. I’m paraphrasing but he said something like “It’s like when a good football team is preparing for a big match, they do everything right, the training, the nutrition, the tactics etc. Then they go out and smash the opposition 3-0 and are massively relieved but not really surprised.” That summed it up nicely.



Lay Report: J Cups!

She’s not as hot as this. But the boobs are around the same size.

This was a grot lay and I will not try to disguise it as anything else. She’s a low 6 with the biggest boobs I’ve ever seen. Here is the story…

I opened this girl on Thursday. I started the day in a fairly shitty mood. I had a date lined up with a high 8 that evening, short brunette, brown eyes, tanned skin, dresses nicely and very feminine, exactly my type. I could feel she was flaking as I had got radio silence for over 24 hours, and sure enough, at around 5pm she text me a big long message telling me how she was so busy and that she wouldn’t be able to make it. This has been par for the course in Warsaw. I have got less than 1 in 10 numbers out on dates and have had 7 or 8 date flakes now.

I was walking around in the blazing hot sunshine with Mr R and we were getting towards the end of our session and turning our minds towards dinner. I’d done 4 or 5 sets already and got nothing but blowouts and boyfriend excuses. We were at the crossing by Zlote Tarasy and walking back towards Chmielna when I saw possibly the biggest rack I have ever seen walking towards me, it was on a short little brunettes body. Myself and Mr R were both in shock at the size of them.

She was a little bit chubby, but not excessively and her boobs looked too big for her little frame. I thought “fuck it, I’m not getting anything better today.”


I opened, she was very stand-offish and was in a hurry to get to work. I didn’t get any stacking in and she wasn’t hooking. I went for the close anyway and she surprisingly gave me her facebook details. The set lasted around two minutes.

We ended up texting quite a lot that evening and set up a date for 3pm on Saturday afternoon. I’d already agreed to see blondie at mid-day and had a D3 lined up for the evening with possibly the hottest girl I’ve opened this year, the closest thing I’ve closed to a 9.

It was another scorcher, 27 degrees to be precise. I went up to the top of the Palace of Culture with blondie, we took in the panoramic views before I dragged her into a toilet and she sucked me off after refusing to drop her short shorts so I could bang her. She’s a nice girl, really.

I made up an excuse and sent blondie on her way at around 2pm.


She turned up exactly on time, in plimsoles, short shorts, an almost see-through black overthrow and a black bra. She liked to display her best assets.

I walked her very quickly to a secluded V1 that Mr R told me about as I was paranoid that blondie would see me with this girl. Blondie lives around the corner from me and I have seen her a couple of times whilst out and about.

We got drinks and she was very quiet and didn’t seem to be interested in me at all. I attempted the questions game but she couldn’t, and didn’t seem to want to think of a single question. I was bored.

I started escalating rapidly, asking her filthier and filthier questions. She answered all of them. Every light was amber.

I tried to kiss her, she said not in public.

I said “let’s go to one more place where it’s nice and cool and has good music.”

I paid for the drinks and walked her towards my apartment which was 2 minutes away at around 3.45pm.

As we got to the door I asked her “Do you trust me?”


“OK, lets go up and listen to some music.”

No objections. I got her into the apartment, got us a drink and started kissing her. She put up some LMR for an hour or so.

Eventually I got her enormous boobs out of her bra and motor boated the fuck out of them. They were fantastic.

We had sex shortly after this. Afterwards she told me she had only ever slept with 2 men before me, she’s 24, and she made them both wait 6 months before sex. I told her that her boobs are the biggest I have ever sucked on, she told me they were J cups. J CUPS!! I didn’t even know they came in that size.

As I type this I am quite exhausted and supposed to be going for a D3 with the 9. She text me earlier saying that she can’t drink tonight and it would be a short date. I think I’ll flake on her. Fuck it.


Lay Report: Jessica the Witch Rabbit


It was a Friday afternoon, a baking hot day in Warsaw. I was sat on one of the benches in the Palace of Culture gardens shooting the shit with the Chesire Cat. I’d pretty much given up for the day as it was around 6pm and I was trying to persuade him to come to the pub with me for a beer.

We saw a thin red head with long wavy red hair thrown over one shoulder, like Jessica Rabbit, wearing black wedges, tight black leather pants, a tight black top and a black leather jacket. She had white skin and dark eye make-up, she looked filthy. He said “you have to do that one!”


I jolted up off the bench and made chase as she was walking quite fast. I opened and her eyes spazzed immediately. She tried to keep walking and walked past me with a huge smile but a confused look on her face. I stayed rooted to the spot, motioned her to slow down with my hands and she stopped and walked back towards me.

I told her she was pretty, like a gothic Jessica Rabbit with the flowing red hair over one shoulder. She had no idea who this was but giggled anyway. We chatted for a couple of minutes but she was in a hurry to catch a train. I took her facebook.


The texting was easy, I sent her a photo of Jessica Rabbit, a few back and forths and set up a date for the following Wednesday. She text me on Monday to cancel for Wednesday. My date for Tuesday also cancelled so I text her on the day to ask if she was free that evening. She was.


I met her at 9pm. She turned up in an almost identical outfit but with even more make-up on. She looked filthy and I really wanted to bang her.

I took her to the same two venues, Sloik and Sultan club before bouncing back to my place.

At the first venue she was very nervous and fidgety. She ordered a gin and tonic, went to pour the tonic in and spilled half of it over the table. I asked her if she was ok, she said she had a crazy day, that’s all.

In venue two I found out that she regularly takes Acid, “not all the time, just 3 or 4 times a week”. RED FLAG.

Every time I touched her initially, her body would spasm. She told me she wasn’t used to new people touching her. RED FLAG.

She told me she had 4 personalities, I was currently speaking to the 3rd one. RED FLAG

After a few gins, about 20 cigarettes and a couple of shots of vodka she stopped spasming when I touched her. I kissed her and she was into it.

Shortly after this I suggested we got back to mine for a glass of wine. “Hang on, you’re now talking to my 4th personality, she says yes”. In hindsight this was probably another red flag, but I took it as green at the time.

We got back, I poured wine, she chose some classical music and we had a couple of sips of wine before the clothes were off and we were having wild sex.

She had several tattoos, all of them related to witch craft. When I touched them her entire body would vibrate and she would drawl some sort of mantra under her breath.

“Is that Polish?!” I enquired.

“No, it’s witch language”

This girl was properly crazy but I found it very sexy.

I’ve left a lot of details out of this post because most of it, you have heard before, the rest of it is too crazy to share publicly…


Lay Report: Hot Polish Blondie


I’m writing this whilst a little drunk, so excuse the typos. It’s 4am, I’m drinking wine and I don’t feel like going to sleep, because I don’t need to.

This will be a fairly short report, nothing special happened so I’ll highlight the different parts…

On the first date she showed up in casual clothes; converse, jeans, a nice low cut white top, which put her boobs on display and a denim jacket. At one point in the first date I said to her;

“do you normally turn up for dates like this?”

“is this a date?”

“what the fuck do you think?” with a smirk on my face, you can basically say anything if you’re smiling when you do it.

Fast forward a bit, we were texting back and forth and I told her I was taking her to a fancy place for the second date so she had to wear a nice dress.

Date 2 (D3 in daygame terminology)

I met her outside her building at 9pm. She rocked up in a black dress which ended just above her knees, in black high heels and basically looking fucking hot. This dress she was wearing had no back, NO BACK. So you could see her bra straps, which were also black. I was inwardly thinking “why don’t you just wear one of those transparent bras?!”. But it didn’t bother me that much.

I walked her all of 3 minutes to

Pies Czy Suka

I copied and pasted that from google and for some reason it insisted on being big and bold and I don’t know how to change it. And apparently it means dog or bitch.

I’d met up with TDdaygame* and Rivelino earlier in the day. Riv went off to talk to some girl, I had a quiet moment with TD and asked him about this bar, he said that it’s basically the best bar you can take a girl to, ask the barman to make you whatever you want. I did that and ended up drinking a carrot flavoured old fashioned. It was nice but I drunk it in about 1 minute and got a beer straight afterwards.

So, we went there, had a cocktail each, we talked about boring stuff, went out for a smoke and then Mr. R walked in with a smoking little hottie with glasses on.

That has nothing to do with this story, but nice work Mr R.

We were sat opposite each other which wasn’t ideal. I told her we were leaving, she was insisting on knowing where we were going, i had no idea so i just said “Wait and see. Let me lead”. I often verbalise that I am the leader. ALPHA.

We walked out, I had no fucking idea where I was going, I remembered that Mr R told me about a place with illuminous blue lights on the sign, I walked towards there and it looked like a coffee shop, so i sacked that off. We stood and had a smoke outside the coffee shop and then i bounced her across the road to some pub. We sat beside each other and shit started getting saucy. She started telling me that she’s had threesomes with both 2 men and 2 women. She liked sex in public. She’d had sex in a bar. FUCKING DING, DING, DING.

I told her “I know a place that has free alcohol and great music”.


“Just follow me”

I started walking her back up the road whilst talking the most inane bullshit ever. It really doesn’t matter what you say when you are bouncing them home, as long as you don’t say “I’m taking you home to bang you now”. That could work, if you’re Steve Jabba, But I’m not.

We get back into the apartment, she asks for a tour again. This girl is genuinely funny. I got her a beer and poured myself a glass of wine (i’m still drinking the rest of the bottle now). We drink for a little bit and talk some more crap.

I grab her hand, pull her towards the bed, “lets watch a movie”. No resistance this time.

She’s lying beside me, I put on VCB, I show her my favourite scene, pause it, switch to spotify, put the laptop down to the side of the bed, start kissing her, and before i know it, I’m fucking her doggy raw-dog.

I banged her for about 30mins and when i was about to come she whipped herself off of my dick, put her mouth on it and swallowed the load. What a girl.

I offered her to stay over but she insisted on going home. What a girl.


We sat on the balcony having a smoke, I asked her when she decided she wanted to have sex with me. She said “when you took my number”.

I left London on 13 April, it’s now 13 May. I’ve banged 7 girls in that period. Life is good, I don’t want to go back to reality.

* he seem’s like a genuine guy and if any of my tiny readership feel like they need coaching in Poland, I would recommend him.

Lay Report: Silly Buggers Ukrainian 


This notch was quite special not only because it was my first Ukrainian and she was bloody hot, but because I was very close to walking out on the girl on a few occasions as she was playing silly buggers. There were a few learning points for me, so strap yourselves in, it’s another long one…

It was May day, a public holiday here in Warsaw. I’d done an hours daygame with Mr R before going to meet up with some of the other resident daygamers for dinner. As we were walking down Nowy Swad on our way to the restaurant I spotted a cute little brunette in white trainers, a black just above knee length dress and a black leather jacket. She was just standing there playing on her phone.


“Excuse me, I can see you’re obviously waiting on someone, BUT,  I was walking past and I thought you looked very pretty. I like your all black attire, you look like you could be some sort of international spy on a secret mission…. (smiles, but still no hook)… ok you don’t have to tell me what it is…. You do NOT look Polish though”


The guessing game of nationalities commenced and she finally told me she was Ukrainian. She was here for a few days with her partner and I assumed she meant her boyfriend. We carried on chatting and she pointed to the other side of the road and said “that’s my partner, he is shy to come over because you are here”.

I looked over and saw a chodey looking guy standing there awkwardly not knowing what to do with himself. Good lad.

I asked “so, is that not your boyfriend?”

“No, it’s my business partner”

I asked her what she was doing here and gave her my backstory before I went for the close. I asked for facebook as I thought she might not want to be seen giving her number out to randoms in the street in front of her colleague.

“No, I don’t give my facebook to strangers, there’s a lot of personal things on there, you can have my number but I don’t want my partner to see”.

I turned my back to her partner, pulled out my phone and asked her to tell me her number, I typed it in and quickly put my phone away.

We exchanged pleasantries and I wasn’t expecting to hear from her as she was only in town for a few days, was Ukrainian (I’ve heard these are notoriously difficult to bed) and would be quite busy with work.


The texting was textbook, but, she didn’t reply to my date confirmation sent at 12.42 on the day of the date. So I photo pinged her at 15:15. Still no reply. I wouldn’t have done this if she was living here.

I was walking down Nowy Swad at around 4pm. Mr R was in set so I was standing nearby waiting for him. I was scrolling through my twitter feed when a girl came up to me and said hi. It was the Ukrainian, Warsaw is small it seems. She looked even hotter than the day before, wearing tight denim jeans which accentuated her peachy little ass. I said hi, she was carrying a map and a little backpack so I teased her on being a typical tourist. She giggled and said “I don’t know if I will make 7pm tonight, is 8pm ok?”.

So she’d clearly seen my messages but not “read” them. I think if I hadn’t bumped into her she would have flaked on the date.

Shortly after this I went to get dinner with Mr R when she messaged me saying she was free and wanted to meet earlier in the old city which is a 15-20 minute walk from where I wanted to meet her and 2 hours earlier. I thought “lose the battle to win the war”.


I ended up meeting her at around 5.45pm near Nowy Swad Metro station (roughly half way). She told me she’d already walked to the Old City so I walked us straight to the nearest coffee shop.

The shit tests began.

“I thought we were going for a walk, I don’t like coffee” she barked

“Just have a juice or something, I’m getting an espresso”. I could see her little eyes spazzing, she wasn’t used to this.

“OK, I’ll have a latte” she relented

“OK, I’ll order it, go grab us those nice seats by the window and I’ll bring it over”. She complied.

As I stood at the counter waiting for the coffees my phone vibrated. It was another girl I’d closed the day before “Pretty girl ;p”. She’d obviously seen me walking with the Ukrainian. I didn’t reply.

I did the comfort fluff with the Ukrainian as we drank our coffees. I found out she was 25, had TWO degrees and was heavily into her fitness. She loved to cook, clean and generally be a woman. This girl was an 8, if a low one. After this I said “let’s walk back towards the city, I want to show you something”.

It was now around 6.30pm and I intended on bouncing her to the Serial Killer Bar before moving her to a bar closer to mine. We got there and the shit tests continued to rain down.

“I don’t want to drink, it’s too early and I don’t like drinking”

“OK, let’s carry on walking” I said.

We walked up to and around the Palace of Culture, she took photos and we chatted some more, she was generally being more pleasant and the shit tests subsided.

I walked us in the direction of Sloik and was expecting more shit tests when we got to the door. To my surprise she said “this looks like a cool bar, are we going in here?”. Yes we are.

We sat on stools at a high table, opposite each other, I ordered a large beer and so did she (so much for not liking drinking). She got some cordial added to her beer and was drinking it out of a straw. I picked up her glass to take a sip from the straw. She pulled it back and barked “get your own straw!”. I nearly got up and left right then and there but I kept my cool and said “you’re a weirdo, aren’t you?”. She didn’t know what a weirdo was, I explained and she confirmed that indeed, she was.

To my surprise she wanted another beer. We got another round and I started the questions game. She hated it and thwarted all of my sexual spiking attempts saying she doesn’t like to talk about such things with “strangers”.

I gave up. I just sat there and drank my beer and let her ramble on about herself. I didn’t give a shit anymore and decided in my head that I was going home after the beer.

We left the bar and I told her I was going home. She said “no, lets go to one more place, I don’t want to go home”. It was now around 9pm, I had nothing better to do so I thought “whats another beer with a pretty girl?” even if nothing happens.

I bounced her to Pictures bar and grabbed a couch in the corner. She went to sit opposite me, I said “no sit here, beside me”. She complied.

We ordered more beers (she was now on her third beer and was a little tipsy). I was still switched off, I let her ramble on, she was showing me lots of photos of herself on her iphone. I wasn’t interested. I got up and went to the toilet. I got back and she asked me if I was bored. “To be honest, yes”. She asked me what I expected from the evening. I leant in, pulled her chin towards me and went for the kiss. She pulled away. I switched back off again and sipped on my beer. I was going to leave after that beer.

She asked me again what I expected, I sighed and went into a bit of a rant…

“Look, what did YOU expect? The first thing I said to you when I met you is that I think you’re pretty. How could you think I wanted to be your friend?… You are only here for a few days, I don’t live in the same city as you so I could clearly never be your boyfriend, there is no long term solution here. I know it’s not normal in your tradition to do such things, but you’re not in your home country, you are on an adventure, how about you live a little?”

She looked shocked and went quiet for a minute.

I went back to sipping my beer. Eventually, she said “so, do you want to kiss me?”. I was now fuming and ready to storm out. “What do you think?!” I retorted.

She asked me the same question again, I grabbed her chin again and THIS time she was all over me, full tongue and we kissed for about 3 minutes. Progress. I finally kissed her almost SIX hours into the date.

We had another drink there and it was now around midnight, they were closing the bar. I suggested we go back to mine. She said she doesn’t do this. She said she would invite me back to her apartment but it is a complete mess. She lived about a 30min walk away.

I tried to reason that I lived a 3min walk away and it was raining, it would be stupid going to hers. We walked outside and I asked her again to come to mine. She said no, I could come to hers but I would have to wait outside while she cleaned the place. I laughed and agreed. We jumped in a cab and we were at hers in 10mins.

We were walking to her door when she said “do you have the things, the fun things?”. I asked her what she meant and she pointed to my crotch. “oh, yeah, they’re here in my jacket poc…” FUCK.

At this point I realised I had no condoms on me, they were in my other daygame jacket zip pocket which was conveniently, in London.

I asked her if she kept any and she said of course not, she was not expecting to have sex on this trip. I said I would pull out before I came and she said “NO!!”. I took out my phone and frantically looked for the nearest shop on google maps, I found a petrol station about a 10min walk away. She said she would come with me. We walked there and I teased her that if she had just have come back to mine there wouldn’t be any of these hassles.

Luckily the shop at the petrol station was open, I bought condoms and we walked back to hers. She made me wait outside her apartment for about 10mins while she tidied her flat.


When I got in she told me to make myself comfortable, she wanted to take a shower. I did so. She came back out of the shower in just her underwear and a t-shirt. We started kissing, the clothes came off and we had sex. No LMR.

Obviously she insisted I wore the condom, she wouldn’t let me do any other position but missionary and she screamed in pain if I did a full thrust, I’m not particularly big, she was just very tight. As I was fucking her she asked me not to come inside her, I told her I was wearing a condom. She said I know, but don’t come when you’re inside me. She insisted that I pull out before coming even though I was wearing a condom!! I obliged.


I asked her when she decided she was going to have sex with me, she said when I kissed her. I asked her how many men she had had sex with before me. She said it was private. I guessed that it was less than 5. She said “Actually, 2”. I believe her.

Biggest Learning Points?

  1. Don’t alway assume the other guy is a boyfriend
  2. Honour your part as a member of the secret society – hid the number close
  3. Girls are ditsy – if i hadn’t have bumped into her, she would have flaked
  4. Warsaw is small
  5. Girls don’t always mean what they say – drank coffee and alcohol when she said she doesn’t drink either
  6. Always have condoms, kids.
  7. Sometimes it is ok, even necessary to lose “the frame”.
  8. You have to be willing to lose the girl and be willing to push, hard.
  9. Ukrainian girls are hot, I want more.





Update: Wacky Warsaw

shutterstock_94897729I’ve been in Warsaw for just over a week and the daygame has been going quite well. I’ve done 54 sets over 8 sessions and I’ve closed just under half of these, I’ve had a couple of idates (one was almost a SDL), a date, and a notch (not from daygame, see below). This is despite the fact that the city is apparently empty compared to normal due to a couple of public holidays this week meaning that most people have left the city.

This means that nearly all my leads aren’t available to come out until next week, this isn’t a problem as I am here for another 3 weeks, but it will make it harder to get these girls out when they return.

I’ve gotten over the quality drop compared to Belgrade and am fairly happy opening the 7’s with the occasional 8 (All Ukrainian) sprinkled on top. I’ve closed a handful of Ukrainians but I’m struggling to get them out. I was supposed to have a date with one of them last night and she flaked, I’ve got another date with another one tonight, hopefully she doesn’t do the same.

I’ve met up with some of the resident daygamers here and there seems to be a nice, tight-knit little community, some of the big hitters are here too and are part of this.

I attempted some night game with one of the residents who is a guy from Manchester who I’d not met before, let’s call him Mr R. As I have mentioned before, I hesitate to call my night/bar game actual game as it is nothing near what the great Mr Jambone prescribes on his latest blog post. I do what he defines as street game in bars. I drink a few beers and spike a LOT more than I normally would in a daygame set.

On Friday night Mr R showed me around the little district of bars that includes what Bodi has infamously nick-named the Serial Killer Bar. We opened quite a lot of sets, from memory it was mostly me opening and Mr R winging. It was fun, I really enjoy hitting the bars with a fellow gamer, it’s nice being able to just go over and talk to the girls and know that your wing won’t fuck it up for you.

In one of the first bars we went into we were standing near the bar waiting to get served. I mentioned to Mr R that there was a decent two-set standing over our shoulder. I’d get the beers in and then we’d go talk to them.

We got the beers and as I turned to open them they were putting their coats on to leave. One of them was very hot, short with big dark brown eyes and black hair, she looked more Latino than Polish. The other girl was a bit taller and just looked like a typical plain Polish girl with fair brunette hair and no real stand-out features.

I was obviously more interested in the hot girl but she was shy and was standing further away from me than her friend. They said they were in a hurry to leave so I took plain janes’ number and after they left we carried on opening sets. I got a couple more numbers that night, one of which was a hot Polish girl who I tried to bounce back that night but she wasn’t having any of it. I got her number, we are now texting but she is out of town for the next week.

I pinged plain jane the next morning and she replied almost instantly. This girl was keen. We set up a date for the next evening (Sunday). She turned up and looked hotter than on Friday night, she’d put a bit more make-up on, was wearing a long grey coat over a tight black top and a long black skirt. When we got to the first venue she took the coat off and I could see her breasts were rather large, I got a boner. I was trying to justify her being a 7 in my head, but then I looked at her face, it was a little pudgy and her nose was a bit big, this girl was a 6, if a high one.

We did two venues and I took her home and banged her. She had a very nice body with big D cup breasts. It was very easy and there was nothing much to learn from a game perspective, there were a few quirky moments which I will share;

  1. During the comfort fluff in the first venue she asked “be honest, who did you like more, me or my friend?”. I smiled and responded “I thought you both looked nice so I thought I’d talk to you both, you were just more talkative than your friend”. Then quickly changed the subject.
  2. During the questions game in the second venue I asked “do you have any hidden talents?” Her response was “I’m great at blow-jobs”. I was sipping my beer as she answered, I tried to keep my cool but I spat my beer back into my glass and cracked up laughing.
  3. She was in constant communication with her hot friend the entire night. I told her this was rude but she said “she’s just checking I’m safe”. I asked her what she was saying to her and she said she was telling her friend how great I was. The strangest was just after the sex. She got up, picked up her phone, rang her friend and started ranting excitedly down the phone in Polish. I asked her what that was all about and she said “I was just telling my friend the sex was amazing”.

Are all Polish girls this bonkers or do I just attract the crazies?


Lay Report: D4 with a 29yr old Serb

She looks slightly older than this but with prettier face

This was by no means an easy feat, I put a lot of work in and I actually really like this girl, so much so that I will probably see her again. Strap yourselves in, this is a long one…

It was day 1 of the jaunt and this would be my third set of the day. We were walking down one of the side streets off Knez when I saw a short girl with long black hair wearing white converse, tight ripped denim jeans, a black blouse and a denim jacket hugging her friend goodbye as she left a restaurant. As I walked by I turned to check her ass out as she reached up to hug her friend, it was very peachy. She was a high 7, I had to go in.


As she left her friend she started walking very fast so I ran to catch her. I opened and delivered the compliment, she immediately told me she was in a hurry. I ignored this and continued with my stack for about 30 seconds before she hooked asking “where are you from?”. I challenged her to guess and she said “no, I am bad at that”. I just told her as she had already told me she was in a hurry (calibrate). I asked what she was doing and she told me she was leaving the town at this very moment for the Easter weekend. All of this was done in the first minute of the set. I made sure to get in some stock teases of her living in a little village with no internet or running water and this got a laugh.

At 1m30s I said “I forgot your name”, and she rightly said “I didn’t say”. She told me her name, but lets call her Nyssa.

At 1m40s I went for the close asking for her number and she said facebook is better as she had a bad experience giving out her number in the past.

We exchanged pleasantries and went our separate ways. I walked away thinking that she wouldn’t even accept the friend request as the interaction was so short (it was 2mins 34s).


I sent her a stock feeler as there was nothing to go off. To my surprise, I got a long reply from her the next day where she actually used callback humour. Good sign.

We text a couple of times over the Easter break before I set up a date with her the following Tuesday. Nyssa would be my second date after the D2 with the 19yr old.


We met at 8pm on Republic Square. She arrived about 5 minutes late, but when she did, she did so in style giving me an instant boner. She was wearing heels, tight white pants, a black laced top and a black leather jacket. She would have been an 8 but I would later find out she was 29.

I fucked up a bit next as I didn’t have any proper date venues in mind, I winged it. I took us to the closest place which happened to be Boutique on the corner of the square. We walked inside and almost everyone was eating, it stunk. I should have turned and walked out, but I was stubborn and I insisted we stay after she gave me a funny look. We sat at a small table between a couple to my left and chubby dude eating alone to my right. She sat opposite me and I could barely hear her. We struggled through the normal comfort fluff as the annoying fat chubby dude kept butting into our conversation every 2 minutes. I kept my cool, being nice to him but giving him short, closed answers to his questions. I think she was impressed. Amongst the comfort fluff, Nyssa told me she was driving that evening and couldn’t drink much or stay out late. I started to drink my beer quicker, asked to taste hers and proceeded to drink most of it ensuring to leave her a sip. I got the bill and told her we were going to one more place. She asked where and I said “you ask too many questions” with a cheeky smile.

I started walking her to the Irish Bar, on the way I told her “you can’t go on a date with an Irish man and not go to an Irish bar”. She giggled and started to relax as she knew where we were going.

We walked in and there was a loud band playing shit Serbian music, how very Irish. She asked me “don’t you want to go somewhere quieter?”. I said “no, it’ll be fine”. We got a couch downstairs and sat beside each other. We ordered drinks and as I started the questions game she began shit testing me “you only want to play this sort of game so you can ask me hard questions”. I just laughed and said “and?”. She giggled and played along. We had to lean right into each other as the music was so loud (the reason I persisted). After about another hour of this I leaned in and kissed her, she responded with full tongues. Afterwards she said “I’m surprised, I thought you weren’t going to do it”.

The shitty band finally stopped, we chatted some more and I invited her back to my place about 10 times, not in a row. She laughed each time and said she admired my persistence but she doesn’t do this type of thing on a first date. Amongst our chit chat she told me she was good at pool. I challenged her to a game on our next date and if she lost she would have to do whatever I wanted. She said “No, you will say I have to come to your place!”. I said “no, if you lose, you have to cook for me”. She agreed and we arranged to meet the next day. It got to midnight and she had to be up for work in the morning so I walked her back to her car in the rain. I’m such a chode!


We met at the same time and place and I walked her to the sports bar across the square. We played pool almost straight away and I beat her easily. She said “I didn’t tell you when I would cook for you!”. I didn’t react.

We took a seat on a couch near the pool table and the waiter came over and told us in Serbian that it was reserved. Nyssa talked back to him for a few seconds and he walked away. I asked her what she said to him “he said it’s normally reserved for VIP’s, I asked who and he said never mind, you can stay”.

She was all over me and didn’t seem to mind that a lot of people were looking as she was practically riding me on the couch. After the second drink, I paid the bill and said lets go. She offered up the same resistance and I, the same answer.

As we were walking down the steps out of the venue she was behind me so I grabbed her legs, pulled her onto my back and gave her a piggy back down the steps, across the square to the entrance of my apartment. Location is everything. She said she wasn’t coming in. I said “let’s just have one glass of wine, you can leave as soon as you feel uncomfortable”.

I led her in, gave her a tour of the apartment and then we sat in the lounge and drank wine. After a while I led her to the bedroom and threw her on the the bed. I got on top of her and started kissing her, she pulled away and said “how did you do this!?”. I said “let’s just blame it on the alcohol”.

She giggled and we kissed passionately. I was groping her and dry humping her for about an hour whilst trying to get her clothes off. Every time I undid her buttons or bra she would re-do it.  She eventually told me she was on her period. I told her we could put a towel down and she did not like this idea one little bit. No sexy time tonight.

I walked her back to her car (she drove on both dates so far so couldn’t drink a lot) and set up the D4.


It was Saturday, my last day and she insisted I do something touristy with her (I told her previously that i’m crap at being touristy). Due to my line of work, she thought it would be nice for me to see the Tesla Museum. She bought the tickets in advance and was quite excited to take me, I was even excited to go.

We met at the usual spot at 5.30pm and hopped in a cab to the museum. I decided to switch off all game whilst there and appreciate all of Teslas fine achievements in Engineering history, he was quite the lad.

After the museum we took a slow stroll back towards the city and she told me she wasn’t driving tonight and wanted to get a little bit drunk. Good sign. We had a drink in the craft beer place, then another in the Boutique just across the road from it. From there we went to another bar behind it that I can’t remember the name of. It was quite a fancy place and when the waiter came to serve us I asked for a beer, obviously in English. He then started speaking in Serbian to her, she started blushing and giggling and then ordered a drink. I asked her what that was all about. She said “he just told me that I am very beautiful and asked what I was doing with an English man”. What a wanker, calling me English!!

From here I bounced her to my place and there was no resistance this time. We had a glass of wine in the kitchen and as we sat there Xants and his girl came in. They all introduced each other and all got on fine. Shortly after I bounced her to the bedroom and there was no LMR whatsoever, the sex was fantastic. This was the first girl of the trip that insisted I wore condoms, I ended up using 5 of them as we went at it through the night and again in the morning.

I left Belgrade later that morning with my ball sack completely drained. I doubt I will ever have that much sex with different girls over three days again. My love for Daygame is fully restored.

Lay Report: Big Booty 19yr Old Serb

She didn’t have a nose piercing and looked younger than this and her ass was bigger than this.

It was Saturday, day 2 of the jaunt and the number-farming was still in full swing. Xants and I had just finished our breakfast and we decided to take a walk up towards the University area and do some sets. We were walking towards Hotel Moskva from Knez when I spotted a fairly tall girl with long brunette hair in converse shoes, tight denim jeans, a tight black boob tube and a denim jacket. She was slim but had a huge ass, I reckon her A/W ratio is about 0.6 and it is the first thing that caught my eye. She was a solid 7.

I front stopped her and she smiled before I even opened. Good sign. I found out she was 19, from a local village and was a Law student. She was about to leave Belgrade for the Easter weekend but was keen to meet me when she got back.

The texting was effortless and we agreed to meet the following Tuesday for coffee. By the time Tuesday rolled around I had completed my number farm and had a phone full of leads so I scheduled in 3 girls for that evening and this girl would be the first. The second would be the girl in my next lay report and the third flaked. They were booked in for 6.30, 8.00 and 10.00pm respectively.


We met by Hotel Moskva, she arrived a couple of minutes late looking hotter than when I opened as is usual in daygame. She was wearing more or less the same clothes but had put a bit of make-up on. I walked us to a coffee shop nearby and we sat opposite each other at a small table.

I was sizing up the odds of bouncing her back to the flat, banging her and still meeting my second date. I quickly decided this was not an option as she seemed to be quite K selected.

We talked about her upbringing, her family, her hopes for the future and all that usual fluff for about 45mins. I asked her what her plans were for the rest of the evening, she blushed and said “well, this”. Fuck. I quickly considered bailing on my second date, but she was hotter than this girl so I told her I had to go and meet my friend at 8pm. She said that’s not a problem as she should probably go home and study anyway.

I needed to spike things up a bit, something I always struggle with on coffee dates.

I asked her what the craziest thing she’s done is and she said she once swam in the sea fully clothed when drunk. I also asked her if she’d ever kissed a girl and she said that she had and that she really enjoyed it. I did an exaggerated fist pump and said “yes!”.

We spoke about alcohol and to my surprise she sounded like she enjoyed a drink. I suggested we meet another day for a real drink and she agreed.

We left the coffee shop and I walked her to the bus stop. When I was at the top of the hill near the bus stop I said “you see there at the bottom of this hill? That’s where I will kiss you”. She giggled and said “do you always announce it?” “No, only when I’m sure”.

We kissed with a little bit of tongue and I sent her on her way and ran off to meet my next date.

I pinged her the next day and suggested we meet again on Friday for the real drink. She said she was supposed to be going away for the weekend with her girl friends. I told her that she could see her friends any weekend, it’s not often that she would get the opportunity to go on a date with a handsome Irish man. She said she’d let me know. The next day she text me saying “I’m not going away this weekend :)”.

It got to Friday and I’d just had a notch the night before. I only had two nights left and 4 or 5 girls I was still trying to get out. I decided I couldn’t be bothered with the hassle of scheduling multiple dates on the same evening. I’d choose the two that I had the highest odds of notching and convert the rest to long leads.


I decided to copy the exact same date plan as the night before (if it ain’t broke and all that) meeting her at Hotel Moskva  at 7pm, bouncing her to the craft beer place and then onto the Irish Bar before bouncing to mine.

At the craft beer place we sat at the bar on stools making sure I got my knees right up against hers. We had one drink here and smoked a couple of cigarettes before I walked us to the Irish bar.

We got a couch upstairs, ordered a dark and a light beer and two types of Rakia and shared them. This girl liked to drink and smoke and if they smoke, they poke. This is a well know fact.

We talked and kissed a lot and before I knew it was almost 11pm. I suggested a glass of wine at my place and there were no objections from her. At this point I knew that Xants was attempting a threesome with his banshee and another girl. I text him “COMING BACK NOW, please be quiet!”. You don’t think of these sorts of logistical issues when agreeing to shack up with another gamer for a jaunt.

I walked us back to the apartment praying that the coast was clear, I soon got a text from Xants saying that he was bringing his girl back but there would be no threesome and they would be quiet.

I got my girl inside and we had a quick glass of wine in the lounge before I suggested I put a movie on in my room before Xants and his banshee got back. We did so and watched the first 10 minutes and then we started kissing and groping each other. I tried to slide my hand down her crotch so that I could finger her, she pulled it away and said “No!”. I rolled off, paused the movie and told her to play me some typical Serbian music. She did and it was crap. After a while I escalated again and she resisted all of my attempts to get her clothes off. I gave her a massage and after a few minutes pulled up her top and undid her bra so that I could give her a “proper massage”. She didn’t seem to mind. Around about this point, true to form, Xants’ girl started screaming her head off in the next room and this made the LMR battle even more frustrating. Very fucking quiet, Xants.

After 4 attempts of me trying to get my hand down there she finally relented on the 5th attempt. I actually think the sounds coming from the next room got my girl in the mood. As soon as my fingers were inside her vagina it was all over. I battled around two hours of LMR, but it was more than worth it.  I never thought that hearing sex in the next room would be an effective LMR destroyer, but there you have it and you heard it here first.

I don’t think I’ll ever forget the image of smashing her from behind as I spanked her big juicy 19 year old ass whilst pull her hair hard with my other hand. I came all over her ass and she rolled over onto it and said “Wow!”. Moments like this are what it is all about and make all of the misery worth it.

We banged a few more times before I kicked her out around lunch time the next day so that Xants and I could go eat steak, drink beer, smoke cigarettes and watch Father Ted before my next date that evening. This would be a D4 with a different girl and my first ever attempt at laying 3 different girls from daygame on 3 consecutive nights…


Lay Report: All I did was open

This is Ander Hererra. He is great at football.
Ander Herrera’s through ball to little Marcus Rashford was the sexiest thing I’d seen that day. But I did open a girl who was about half as sexy and I ended up banging her a few days later…


It was Sunday, day 3 of the Euro jaunt. It was cold out and raining heavily. Myself and Xants decided to sack the daygame and go the sports bar to watch football and drink beer all day, it was a great decision.

After that we went for dinner in a fancy Italian restaurant. We sat at the window, drank wine and ate fancy food, because we could. A girl walked past the window. I announced “she looks hot” and proceeded to run out of the restaurant and down the street after her like a monkey. One of those ones that dances.

I was quite drunk at this point so I don’t even remember how I opened her, but i do remember being out of breath. I’m assuming I hid my drunkenness well as I got her number and she was very keen over text in the subsequent days. We arranged to meet the following Thursday, day 7 of the jaunt.

The Following Thursday

It was another wet day. I’d awoken still quite frustrated from the blue blood soaked balls of a D3* the night before. The sounds of Xants’ girl screaming like a banshee in the room next door exacerbated this frustration somewhat more. I got out of the apartment and went to Snezanna for what was to be the best omelette of the trip so far, things would get better. I pinged the girl from the monkey set to confirm the date for that same evening and we agreed to meet at 7pm.

I met her at Hotel Moskva, I was ten minutes early so I went inside and had a tiny coffee (it’s harder to get a decent sized coffee in Belgrade than an omelette after 1pm) and text her to meet me inside. She came in and I was pleasantly surprised that she was hot. A 7 with greeny brown eyes, brunette hair and a slim figure with nice curves. I wanted to bang her.

It was plain sailing from this point onwards, I drank my coffee, she asked me a million questions, I asked her if I was on a job interview.

From here I let her lead me to a bar nearby which serves lots of international craft beers. She really wanted me to try all the English and American beers. I ordered us two Serbian beers. We drank them and her eyes seemed to be in a permanent spazz, this girl fancied the fuck out of me and she didn’t hide it very well.

After this I suggested we go for a walk to the Irish Bar which just so happened to be closer to my apartment. We sat on the couches upstairs and she ordered us Rakias and some weird nuts that weren’t quite nuts, they were very tasty, and we kissed a lot. It was on.

Shortly after this I suggested we go back to mine for a glass of wine. She said that sounds like a great idea. We did so, I got us two cans of beer (didn’t need to open the wine, Xants and I would drink this later whilst watching Stefan Molyneux) from the fridge and we sat on the couch in the lounge for about 30 seconds before I carried her to the bedroom, took her clothes off and we had sex.







* – This will hopefully be another post


Lay Report: An Alcoholic Alpha

She was not this hot…
The Euro Jaunt started with a bang but it didn’t seem likely at the beginning of a very long day…

Myself and Xants touched down late the previous evening and went to directly to Wurtz place for our obligatory Euro Jaunt kick-off beers, after dropping our bags at our centrally located apartment.

I got deja vu as we stood at the bar, turning to Xants and saying “So, how do you night game again?”. We tried to get some social proof so I opened a male two-set, they were nice chaps and they told us that we had come to Belgrade at the wrong time as the city would be empty due to the Easter holidays. Fuck. We drank our beers and got a relatively early night so we could be fresh for our first full day on the streets which would be Good Friday.

We started the day with a late breakfast at around mid-day. There were no omelettes at this eating establishment, as usual in Belgrade. It was a warm day and there seemed to be plenty of sets about. After breakfast we started rolling some off and after about an hour I had collected a few leads and was highly optimistic for the coming days. Xants’ vibe started very high and seemed to drop with each set he did. After around two hours he proclaimed “i think the girls here just don’t like me” and flirted with the idea of fleeing Belgrade to join Nick Krauser at another euro jaunt location. I didn’t try and dissuade him, I just told him it would be fine and things would get better. Sure enough, they did and he started closing lots of girls, they seemed to like him after all and I was right. I’m such a gamma.

I finished the first day having done 12 sets and closing 5 of them. I was happy enough with this so we started drinking at around 8pm. We met up with Garzero later that evening for food and hit some bars to attempt night game. We went to a little square with lots of bars and they seemed busy, not all the girls had gone back to their villages it seemed. We took turns opening up sets. I opened one 3-set and it was going quite well, Garzero and Xants both came and went during the set but all three of the girls seemed to be into me and didn’t really talk back to my wings. I was in this set for about 20 minutes before eventually going to number close my target which was a tall blond wearing a choker. She seemed keen when i suggested we meet another time for a coffee, i pulled out my phone and as I did this her friend leaned in and whispered something in Serbian into my targets ear. The target then turned to me and said “I can’t, I’m actually engaged”. I tried to hide the rage from my face before looking at her friend with what must have looked like a death stare and said “OK, no problem, you ladies have a nice evening”. All three of them said it was really nice to meet me and they were sure I would meet a nice girl in Belgrade. They didn’t know the half of it.

I ejected and went to find the lads, they were in another set and when they finished we went to another bar.

We were about 4 or 5 beers in now before I opened another 3-set. The lads joined me after a minute or so after I had introduced myself to all 3 of them. My target was a curly haired brunette in a black and white striped top with tight white jeans, she had a very nice back side. I teased her saying that she must have just escaped from prison. She bantered back and seemed keen. The lads talked to the other two and we all got on well. All 3 of them had gotten a bus from Macedonia for an Easter holiday. I now really wanted the notch as I did a mental check of the flag tick list, I hadn’t got the Macedonia flag, in fact I didn’t even know what it looked like.

We bounced the 3 of them to Wurtz place and had one more drink. We all stood near the bar and I moved my target across the bar a little and we sat beside each other on stools. It was around about this point that the girl which was Garzeros’ target started complaining that she had a sore leg and started suggesting that all 3 of the girls go home. It seemed my attempts to get laid were about to be foiled by another cock block! I then suggested to my target that her friends should go home and that she should stay and have a drink with me. She liked this idea and went over and had a little team talk with her friends as I did the same with mine. Xants said that they would leave me and my target to it and they would go to another bar having done a sterling job as wings. They did so and her two friends departed the bar closely followed by Xants and Garzero. I had my target isolated and all I had to do now was not fuck it up.

I ordered us both beers and shots, she joked “you know you don’t have to get me wasted to seduce me”. I replied “Its not you love, I’m Irish, I just like drinking”. This is and was genuinely true.

We finished the drinks and I bounced her to my place. She put up some token LMR as I moved her from the lounge to the bedroom. But before long our clothes were off and I was riding her bare back. In hindsight I’m a little disturbed that this didn’t seem to bother her.

She didn’t want to stay over so we got dressed and I walked her back to her hostel. I’m a nice bad boy.

The next day we bumped into them again and arranged to meet all three of them that evening. We did so and I banged her again on the Satruday night. Sunday would be her last night and was day 3 of our euro jaunt. It was raining all day so me and Xants decided to sack the daygame and watch football and drink beer. By about 10pm that evening she was texting me wanting to meet up. I attempted some bar game with Garzero in a very inebriated state before we joined up with the girls again in Wurtz place. My girl looked very annoyed at me for being drunk. I didn’t give a shit and proceeded to tease her for the next hour or so before bouncing her back to the apartment. I was very, very drunk by this point. I woke up the next morning, fully clothed on top of my bed. The girl was gone. I text her “I’m guessing you’ve gone back to Macedonia?!”. She said “Yes, and I’m very mad at you, you got so drunk on my last night.”. I said “Oops, alcohol does that to me sometimes”. She replied “You are such a bad boy, but I like it, nice guys are boring”. And there you have it kids, just be yourself.

I got her HB rating adjudicated on my whatsapp wing group. They mostly said 6, Xants agrees with me that she looked like a 7 on the night I closed her. For me, she is a low 7, but I was tipsy when I met her so that could easily knock a point off. However, a notch is a notch and it was my first fresh one in 3 months. Hopefully that damn has now burst.



Lay report: Silly Spanish

She’s not this hot but the body was similar

This will be a short, unenthusiastic post as that is how I felt about the pick up from start to finish…

It was a typical post work session, a Tuesday evening, not much about and I was generally pissing into the wind. I bumped into Ricky Roma and decided to wing with him. We were walking up Oxford street towards Tottenham Court road when a girl walking towards us gives me a heavy IOI, she stares at me for a good 4 or 5 seconds before passing. Ricky said something along the lines of “you have to go”.
At that moment I was torn, I really didn’t fancy her, she was a 6 at best. Relatively short, Spanish looking, with some acne on her face, but it’s not like there was much better about.

I jogged to catch up, forced a smile on my face for the open and proceeded through the motions. Then I got a whiff of her breath, It was terrible, I almost gagged in her face it was that bad, she must have eaten some funky shit for dinner.

I forced myself through the set thinking to myself that bad breath is only temporary, I can always offer her a gum. We got to the part where she tells me her job. She’s a personal trainer. This piqued my interest. I grabbed her bicep and squeezed it, “no you’re not” I challenged. She laughed hysterically.

We were about 5 minutes in now so I took the number and let her go.

A few hours later she text me first saying that it was nice to meet me. Keen. I examined her Whatsapp pic and decided her body was quite nice.

I tried to set up the date for Thursday. She said she was busy and proposed Saturday night instead. Always a good sign.

Saturday rolls along, I ping her at around 3pm to confirm the date for 8pm. She reads it, two blue ticks and then her profile picture disappeared. She blocked me, Spanish girls are weird.

It gets to around 7pm then I get a message from her saying that she’s just seen my message and proposed to meet at 8.30pm instead. I agreed.

I meet her and she’s scrubbed up nicely, she’s wearing black heel boots, tight black jeans, a tight black top and a leather jacket. She’s put some make-up on to cover the acne and her breath doesn’t stink. She’s just about scraping a 7 now.

I took her for a drink near Oxford Circus then onto a second venue in Kingly street. I kissed her in the second venue and then suggested going for a drink in my area. She agreed.

We took an Uber which took over 30mins and it killed my momentum. When we got there she announced she was hungry so I took her to a pizza place. She ate it then I suggested a glass of wine at my place. She said no, not on the first date. I smiled and said “just one glass”. Ok.

We get to my place I show her around. I pour us some wine, she uses the toilet, then I go. We chit chat for 5 minutes before all clothes are off and we’re fucking in the lounge. Candy from a baby.

She stayed over, we did it again in the morning before I walked her back to the tube.

Least satisfying lay of the year, but I guess a notch is a notch.



Lay Report: French Racoon

She looked like this, if a bit less slutty
This was not a daygame notch. It was my 6th “nightgame” notch of the year. When I say nightgame I mean I got half pissed and went over to talk to some girls in a bar. That’s 16 from daygame and 6 from nightgame in 2016 so far. Anyway, here’s the story…

It was the Eve of Donald Trumps spectacular win in the US election. I’d been out daygaming with Vaughn and it was what would turn out to a be a typical November session. No great shakes, I picked up a couple of numbers both of which have since flaked.

We decided to go for a few beers after the session and Rambo made a rare appearance to join us.

The three of us were sitting discussing how great it would be if Trump won, I don’t think any of us actually thought he would, the system wouldn’t let him. Anyway, this isn’t a political blog, I’ll leave that to the guys who know what they’re talking about.

As we sat there a fat, spectacled English girl was sat a table nearby us along with an Asian chode. She was clearly the alpha between the two, she was gloating about how she was a fantastic engineer who designed kids toys and how her little Asian man servant did everything for her, including going to the bar to get drinks in.

She kept chirping into our conversations and was shocked when we told her we were all Trump supporters. We calmly explained why and she couldn’t really explain why she was against him apart from Racism/Sexist blah blah. She was an idiot, but she kept offering to buy us rounds of shots which we dutifully accepted. All three of us proceeded to troll her for the rest of the evening without her ever really getting what was going on. It was fun.

The fatty and her Asian chode eventually departed and we walked around the bar opening a few more sets and not really getting anywhere.

Before we went to leave I opened a two-set sat nearby. I was a bit pissed by now so my recollection is a bit fuzzy. I remember talking to her and her friend, she was a brunette from France, she had big dark brown racoon eyes and  I teased her on this. Her friend was a short haired lesbian who seemed to be egging me on. I talked with the both of them for a few minutes before making my exit, it was a school night, getting quite late and I’d already had quite a bit to drink. I took the Raccoons number before I made my departure.

I was quite hungover the next day at work, but Trump had won so I didn’t care. I sent my pings to the two girls I closed from daygame (both replied before fizzling out) then I remembered I got another number in the bar. I looked her up on whatsapp and she didn’t have a profile picture, damnit! I couldn’t really remember what she looked like, but I thought to myself ‘if i chatted her up, she must be hot, right?’.

I sent the ping and she enthusiastically responded. I eventually got her out last night. I told her to meet me at Old Street station. I turned up, still unsure what she looked like. What’s the worst that can happen? My plan was to have one drink with her, if she wasn’t hot I’d make my excuses and leave.

I turned up at the station and she was there waiting, I instantly recognised her and to my relief she was actually quite hot. She was wearing tight jeans showing off quite a big juicy ass, a tight grey top accentuating her quite large breasts (at least D cups) and a long overcoat. She looked to be in her late 20’s and she was very bubbly. She was a low 7, if she was younger, she would be a high 7.

I bounced her to Grind which is a hipster coffee shop/bar in Old Street. We sat in the glass window on the stools and had one drink.  The conversation was already getting sexual and she was accepting all my “accidental” kino. I bounced her to another bar round corner and sat beside her on a couch. I kissed her and she didn’t seem to mind that we were in a busy place, kissing me with full tongue in front of everyone. It was on.

As we finished up the drinks I suggested we go back to mine and drink wine. She said she didn’t drink wine. OK, we can go to the shop and pick-up something else. We went to the shop and she got a few beers.

When we got back to my apartment I showed her around and we had a smoke on the balcony. As soon as the cigarettes were done she was all over me. I picked her up and took her to the bedroom and before long all our clothes were off and I was raw-dogging her. There was no massage pretence from me, no LMR from her, she’d come to fuck and it was all plain sailing from start to finish.

We fucked 4 or 5 times throughout the night, she was wild and clearly enjoyed fucking. It got to around 3am and she was insisting on getting a cab home, as she went to put her clothes on I could see both her ass cheeks were bruised quite badly. I didn’t realise I was spanking her that hard but she did not complain once. One thing that has genuinely surprised me as my notch count rises and rises is how dirty girls are willing to be in the bedroom, they all love to be dominated, except maybe my Serbian notch who overtly asked me to be more gentle.

I woke up the next morning to find my room in a mess, beer was spilled all over the floor and clothes were scattered everywhere. The racoon left a top and her jacket, so I’ll probably have to fuck her again. It’s a tough life.


Can you make her cum?


It’s a question I don’t hear often amongst the daygame fraternity, I can think of two reasons why;

  1. Most guys aren’t getting laid enough to worry about it – #playerproblems
  2. Most guys are too proud to admit that they aren’t a magician in the sack

Well I’m getting laid pretty regularly and I am not too proud to admit that I struggle to make them cum. If I look back on my lays this year, i’ve made maybe 3 out of 16 orgasm. My Turkmen who had never cum before in her life was adamant that I made her cum, but I don’t think I did because from my experience, their hole body normally vibrates uncontrollably.

I got another notch last night. It was a girl from a two-set I opened on a gutter game session with Xants on Saturday night. I opened (very rare for me to open two-sets), it was the Saturday before Halloween so all the girls were dressed up in slutty costumes. This particular two-set was little red-riding hood and an evil queen (I still don’t know what she was meant to be).

They both hooked pretty quickly, Xants did good wing man duties and spoke to red riding hood, I spoke to the evil queen. It was around 3am and all the bars were closed except casinos and night clubs. We bounced them to the Hippodrome after a couple of failed attempts to enter we eventually got in and had a couple of drinks. I got some kissing from the evil queen, red riding hood was having none of it and poor Xants didn’t get anywhere with her. It turned out red riding hood was staying at the evil queens place. She then proceeded to cock-block me and the evil queen saying that she wanted to go home. I took the evil queens number and off they went.

I invited the evil queen for a drink in my area last night. We did two venues then back to my place and it was easy sex. She is two years older than me so there wasn’t really any game involved. However, she had a great body, big tits, big ass and knew what she liked in the bedroom. This was a refreshing change as my 19 year old Russian that was staying with me for a week previously was the opposite in every way.

Getting back to the point of this post, I didn’t make the evil queen cum. She told me that she was very close and i just needed to keep going. This is often my problem.

My typical sex routine is as follows;

  1. Kissing
  2. Move to bedroom
  3. Massage
  4. Rub pussy over her jeans/pants/tights/whatever she’s wearing
  5. Remove jeans/pants/tights/whatever she’s wearing
  6. Finger
  7. Remove more clothes, hers and mine
  8. Go down on her for 5 to 10 minutes until she pulls my head up or I get bored
  9. Fuck her

I’m pretty sure I’m going wrong at step 8.

Xants once explained his method for making a woman cum quite graphically to me over a romantic candle lit dinner in a bustling London restaurant.

I’ve read several lay reports from the top PUAs, most recently Krausers in adventure sex book. He doesn’t stipulate if he’d made them cum and I’m not sure he even cares.

I care because when I fuck a 9, I’ll probably want to keep her around.

So daygame brothers, I am reaching out to you for your guaranteed pussy exploding sex methods. All thoughts and suggestions welcome in the comments section.


Belgrade Bang

Kinda like this, but not really. Got bored of googling.

It was day 5 (Tuesday 18 October) of the jaunt and I was starting to feel jaded, I’d put the work in and wasn’t seeing any great results yet. I was walking down Kralja Milana with Mr Arr, he was complaining about all of his numbers either blocking him or flaking. I was trying to console him but I had no idea why this was happening as hardly any of mine were flaking. It could have been bad luck or he could have been giving off creepy vibe, either way I quickly stopped caring when I saw a tall, slim leggy red head walk in my direction across the road. She was well dressed with boot/heels, tight torn jeans and a brown, fitted fur coat covering her upper half. It was obvious that her hair was died red and she had bright blue eyes. She was a high 7, she’d be an 8 if she ate a bit more.

I don’t normally go for these types, I like them shorter with a bit more meat, but this girl was fucking hot. After I caught site of her I started walking towards her to try and force an IOI, I didn’t have to try very hard as our eyes quickly locked. I let her get safely to the other side of the road before I ran after her and did the front stop.

The Set

I teased her that her red hair made her look Irish, which blatantly wasn’t true, Irish girls can not look that good. It didn’t matter what the hell I was saying, she was eye spazzing and I could sense that she liked me. We spoke for 12 minutes and I found out that she was 24, studying economics and lived far outside of the city and travelled for 90 minutes every day in and out. Her English wasn’t great but it was possible to have a decent conversation without consulting google translate. I pushed for an idate at the end of the set but she said she was tired and her bus was leaving soon.

I asked for the number and she said she doesn’t give it to strangers as her mother has warned her about doing such things, oh the irony. I played the adventure/life is short card and she gave the number.


There was no ‘text game’ involved at all on my part. As you can see, I sent her the stock feeler and it was plain sailing from there.

Date 1

I met her at 4.30pm outside Hotel Moskva the next day; this would be my first of three dates back to back that day, the other two being at 6.15pm and 9.30pm. She had come straight from college and was planning to get a bus back to her home city at 6pm. Despite this she still made an effort compared to the previous day, she was wearing a bit more make-up and was wearing even tighter jeans and nicer boots. I liked it.

We went to cafe espresso around the corner and I could see she was nervous. She had so much energy bubbling out of her that I thought she was going to explode at one point. I told her this and she laughed even more.  She was very giggly and very chatty; the waiter in the cafe kept over-hearing our conversation and butting in. She was clearly struggling to speak in English and felt embarrassed. The waiter was starting to piss me off and kept talking to my girl in Serbian, we drank our coffees and I suggested we go somewhere else.

We walked down Knez Mihailova towards Iron Bar, which was a bar near my apartment. This venue was darker and had couches at the back. It was now 5.30pm, she said she would have to leave soon for her bus. I told her to get a later one and she agreed to get the 7pm bus.

I ordered a beer; she got lemonade before excusing herself to use the bathroom. I texted my second date asking if we could meet at 7 instead. She wasn’t happy but agreed.

When red head returned I started to escalate, I attempted the questions game but she didn’t like it so I reverted to weaving the questions into conversation naturally.

I found out she had only ever had one boyfriend of 3 years and only ever kissed him, no one else. She lived in her small town with family and she sometimes helped out on her granddad’s farm milking cows. She was so traditional and very feminine. I find this so refreshing compared to the ‘girls’ in the West.

I tried to kiss her and she refused on the first attempt. I did not react and asked her more about her grand fathers farm.

A few more minutes passed and I slowed down. I stopped talking as much and talked lower and slower. I would just alternate between looking around the room then staring at her blue eyes. I then grabbed her lightly behind the neck and pulled her in for the kiss. She responded enthusiastically with tongues and all. Afterwards she said ‘how dare you trick me like that?!’ with a smile on her face.

We carried on chatting and kissed a few more times. I asked if she was any good at cooking and she said she was and she loved to cook. I asked if she can cook traditional Serbian food and she said yes of course. I invited her to cook for me at my apartment and she seemed enthusiastic but would have to check her schedule and get back to me. Before we knew it, it was time for her to get her bus and me to run off for my second date.

Date 2

After further text game mastery I persuaded her to meet me again two days later. It was a Friday afternoon and I was due to fly back to London the next day so this was it, all or nothing (apart from a grotty 6 notch).

I met her in the same place at 15:45. It was pissing down with rain so I went inside the hotel. She text to say she’s running late so I sat down and ordered a coffee whilst listening to the classical Russian music in the background. Rock star life styles.

When she arrived she looked even hotter again, wearing all black. I immediately accused her of copying my fashion.

After I finished my coffee we took a walk to the super market near my place. I grabbed a basket and we got the ingredients she needed as well as a couple of bottles of wine (Xants and I had drank all the ‘bounce back booze’ the previous night).

As we walked to my place and I could sense that she was still very nervous. I jokingly asked if I could search her handbag for guns or knives. Flip the script, baby.

Once we got into the apartment I quickly showed her around the flat and after that she immediately went to the sink and started washing the leftover dishes that we hadn’t washed from breakfast. What a woman. I asked her if I could marry her and she giggled.

She then said nervously ‘there’s something I need to tell you’…

I started guessing all the worst possible things which was probably the wrong thing to do in case one of them were actually true. But I did it anyway…

‘You’re pregnant?’


‘You have a husband?’


“You have AIDs?’

‘No, no noooo. It’s not that bad but I feel bad because I should have told you this earlier’ said she.

She then asked me to add her on facebook and I would see what she was trying to say. I did and there she is in picture after picture with a man. He looked like a male 8, taller and better looking than me. I had a weird mixture of emotions go through my head. 1. Poor guy, 2. Why would such a lovely girl do this? 3. I don’t care, I’m just glad she’s here.

This is new for me, I’ve never, to my knowledge, notched a girl with a serious boyfriend before. I was very surprised especially considering that she did not mention the boyfriend on the street or on the first date where we kissed. I felt a little uneasy but proceeded as normal, trying not to mention him too much.

It took her an hour or two to prepare all the food. She made loads of stuff but what impressed me the most was the traditional Serbian bread that she made from scratch, however, I have already forgotten the name of it.

As she cooked I sat on a bar stool, drank wine and messed about on youtube whilst chatting to her.

We sat down to eat and after dinner we had a cigarette at the table and jokingly talked about getting married. I told her I’d take her to vegas and probably divorce her a few weeks later bla la…

I asked her if she liked massages, she said she did but didn’t want one as she knew what it would lead to. I played dumb and said ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about’.

Then I told her that life is short and we should make the most of it while we’re still young, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow. She agreed.

We went back to normal conversation for a few more minutes before I took her by the hand and walked her to the bedroom.

Sexy Time

I lay her face down on the bed and started massaging her through her clothes initially. I told her that they were getting the way and that I needed to remove them. She said no she didn’t want me to see. I got up and turned the light off, returned to her and told her to remove them. She obliged. I massaged for another couple of minutes and then soon after all our clothes were off and I was fingering her. She was very vet, I went down on her but she didn’t seem to like it and pulled me back up to say the magic sentence ‘Do you have a condom?’… Actually she didn’t know the English word for condom so she said ‘Do you have something for your penis?’. It was cute.

I put the condom on and we fucked. It was good sex and she has a very nice body despite quite small breasts.

Post-Sex Interview

She was running late for her last bus at 9pm, I was walking her to the bus station when I remembered I hadn’t done the post-sex interview.

As we power-walked to the station I asked her when she decided that she wanted to have sex. She said it was after dinner when we were talking about life being short and taking opportunities.

This lay proves that even though the girls there typically take several dates before any chance of getting laid, there are a few, even with boyfriends who are looking for adventure sex. You just need to turn up and show them the way.

Lay Report: Indian Outlier

She didn’t have quite as many tattoos, but not far off.

This one took a while to close the loop.


I opened her at the beginning of August, it was my first approach of the day as I got off the tube at Oxford circus. She was dressed in black leather pants and a white baggy top. I teased her on looking like a gangster rapper and jumped around various other topics. It’s still a sticking point of mine, not “unpacking the topic” as Tom Torero told me on my training with him a year ago.

I found out she was born in Hong Kong, her parents are from India and she’s lived her adult life in London. So what flag does that make her? Technically she’s Chinese, but she obviously looks as Indian as the girl in the corner shop, except hot. She’s a solid 7.

Logistics proved to be tricky as she lived quite far out of London and it would take me 6 weeks to get her out on the first date.



Date 1

I met her on a Sunday night at 7.30pm outside Covent garden tube station. She showed up in tight jeans, a tight fitting top and a little blazer, she looked hot, possibly an 8 now. One of the many perks of daygame is that the girls generally jump up a point when they do themselves up for the date.

I walked her down long acre and got a table outside the Sussex pub. It wasn’t a great first venue as the only table available was beside a group of drunken English yobs who had clearly been drinking all day. They interrupted us two or three times, one of them actually fell over right beside me and I had to help him up. I quickly finished my beer and told her to finish her drink before bouncing her to a well known bazaar in Seven Dials.

This venue was a lot better but she insisted on eating as she hadn’t eaten all day. I told her I don’t normally eat on dates but relented the frame and we got a platter of nibbles. I used it to my advantage by playing the parody chode and hand feeding her the food.

She shared quite a lot of personal information about her childhood and I quickly put her into the ‘r’ box. Her parents were Sikh but she didn’t practice any of that stuff, she had 6 tattoos, had seen a lot of the world and wasn’t happy with her current career as a nursery teacher. She’s eager to travel more and hasn’t found her ideal job yet.

It was getting to around 10pm now and I hadn’t escalated that much, i probably did too much comfort as I was enjoying the conversation. She said she had to leave soon as it would take her more than an hour to get home. No first date lay.

I walked her back to the tube station and as we were about to part ways I pulled her in to kiss her on the lips. She responded enthusiastically by kissing me with full tongue. Fuck, I should have tried that earlier.

I suggested that she come to my place the following weekend for ‘dinner and a movie’. She responded saying ‘dinner and a movie, huh?’. I said, why not? with a cheeky smile. She agreed.



As the following Saturday was rolling around a huge cold sore developed in the corner of my mouth (see Herpes-celling). I had no choice but to cancel the date as I didn’t think she would find me sexy looking like that.

I text her telling her I’d caught the lurgy and proposed that we do it the following weekend. She agreed.


I hit the streets yesterday for my first proper session in about 2 weeks. I was thoroughly uninspired by the quality on display on the streets of London. I only did 6 approaches in 4 hours getting one weak facebook close (she hasn’t even accepted the friend request). I was winging with Xants who had a great day closing 5 girls out of around 10 approaches.

Whilst I was out I received a text from her at around 3pm.

‘OMG I’ve just woke up, I think I’m still intoxicated’

‘Bad girl, I guess this means you won’t be making it to Shoreditch?’ She was supposed to come to mine at 6pm.

She didn’t respond for ages so Xants and I went for a couple of beers. We were still drinking at around 7pm when she finally text to tell me she would be arriving at 8.30pm. Game on.

Date 2

I got back to Old street station to find her there waiting for me. She was wearing a similar outfit to the previous date and looked hot, again.

I told her it was too late to cook now and suggested we get a takeaway and head back to mine. She agreed.

We went to a ramen place near mine, ordered food and had a drink while we waited.

As we sat there she challenged, ‘why are we going back to your place, can’t we just eat here?’

I told her it was more comfy back at mine and I could put on some nice music.

When we got back to my place I put some music one and we ate the food, mine was minging so I ate most hers, much to her dismay. We had a cigarrette on the balcony and then I picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.

We kissed a lot and I reached down to rub her pussy outside her jeans. She said ‘no we can’t do anything, I’m on my period’.

Normally at this point I would have taken out the trusty red towel, but I recalled golden nugget of PUA advice from Krauser’s latest book (page 410 for those of you who have it).

I asked her which day it was, she told me it was the fourth day. I told her to go to the bathroom, she could take a shower if she wished.

When she returned from the bathroom she started stripping and then jumped me. Guess it wasn’t that bad down there.

Adventure Sex?

She was a great lay, she had a nice little ass with quite large boobs for a small girl. Her brown skin was covered in tattoos and she was pretty wild. I was raw-dogging her and she didn’t seem to care.

I’m not used to the old raw-dogging so I came quickly, fortunately I pulled out just in time to jizz all over the bed.

She said ‘Is that it?’

It made me think of that Flight of the Conchords song however, I refrained from saying ‘two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven’.

Instead I whipped out the love wand and started to pleasure her with that. She really liked this and was moaning very loudly whilst digging her nails into my back, this got me hard again pretty quickly.  I turned her round and fucked her hard doggy style whilst pulling her hair before pulling out to come on her back.

She stayed the night and I even made her breakfast before she departed the next morning. I will definitely be keeping her around.





Lay Report: Turkmenistan?!

_41598274_des416Japanese – 21 August

Slovak – 29 August

Russian – 3 September

Turkmen – 11 September

That’s four new girls in 22 days, my best run of form to date on my daygame journey. All of the girls were hot (apart from the Slovak, 6.5 max), their average age was 20, I enjoyed their company and I will continue to see two of them.

I was considering shutting this blog down after a fellow daygamer broke the bro code as mentioned in my previous post. However, the situation sorted itself out in the end and the Russian is coming to visit me next month, she obviously knows about the blog and is still keen (hopefully that won’t change when she reads this). Lose-Win-Win.

Anyway, enough grandstanding from me, here’s the latest story (which may contain more grandstanding)…

This girl is a bit different to the rest in that it took me FOUR dates to get the notch. I say notch reluctantly, as I genuinely wouldn’t have minded a few more dates, it wasn’t about the notch. But it was bloody good when I got it.

I opened her at the beginning of August. I was out with Vaughn and another wing from Manchester. It was a Saturday and I had been out of London most of the week, as soon as I arrived back I hit the streets at around 7pm.

I wasn’t having much success and we were all about to throw in the towel to go for a pint as it was now around 9pm. The other lads had walked ahead of me a bit when I saw this cute little thing walking towards me quite fast. She was about 5’4”, tanned skin, brunette with big dark brown eyes, quite slim and had a peachy little ass. I was wondering why they weren’t running after her as they must have obviously seen her first. I stopped wondering and made chase.


I stopped her strongly, smiled and delivered the opener. I can’t remember much of what I said and I didn’t record this set. One of the main reasons I try to record every set is that I often walk out of there not knowing what the hell I’ve just said. I’d like to say this is because I’ve internalised the skill set, but it’s more likely because my brain is pickled from all the boozing down the years. Or maybe it’s a wee bit of both.

Anyway, I found out that she had just turned 22, was from Turkmenistan (I’d never heard of this country and felt stupid when I told her this in set),  was here for another couple of months before she would go overseas to finish the last year of her degree in politics. She was an 8, a high 8.

I collected the number and went to catch up with the others to find that Vaughn was in set with a Polish girl. His set lasted forever so we left him there to go to the pub. I thought no more of Turkmenistan until the next day.

I sent the feeler and she responded enthusiastically. Our first two dates had to be rescheduled before I eventually got her out about 10 days after the close. This is much longer than I normally like from close to first date. I kept her on the hook in between with some pinging (I’m too lazy to upload the messages, but it was nothing creative, I’m still shit at texting).

Date 1 – the usual

I followed my usual date strategy of taking her to a busy bar first and then to a darker, more secluded bar for the second. I quickly classified this girl as very K selected and knew that I wouldn’t be fucking her that night or the next or probably even the next. She told me what it was like growing up in Turkmenistan, that she’d only ever had two boyfriends, was pro-Trump and pro-Brexit (LOVE), liked working out etc. Basically, she was fucking hot and had some brains so I enjoyed hanging out with her.

At the end of the date I walked her back to her place and jokingly invited myself up. She gave me a look of pity before announcing that she’s not that type of girl. I went for a kiss on the lips, she turned her head away so that I could only get her cheek.

I walked away from the date feeling frustrated.

There was more texting before I got her out for date 2 a week or so later.

Date 2 – picnic in the park

I arranged to meet her at the Sainsbury’s just off Oxford street, we’d get our supplies from there and walk to Regents Park. Or at least that was the plan.

I was due to meet her at 19:30, I got there on time and there was no sign of her. It got to 19:50 before I text her asking if she was lost. She replied quickly saying ‘no, i’m standing outside Sainsburys’. She was at the wrong one. I walked to her as she didn’t know how to work Google Maps. I gave her minus points for this when I eventually found her.

The date was nice, I gave her a massage in the park and got a proper kiss. From there we went for a beer in a bar nearby when it started to get dark and cold.

I walked her home and again invited myself up to hers. She smiled this time and refused. I tried to seed the next date so that it was closer to my place. She said ‘Maybe’.

I went off to Prague for a couple of weeks and pinged her a couple of times when I was there.

Date 3 – drinks near my place

We met up soon after I got back and went for drinks in a couple of bars near my place. I invited her back to mine and she flat out refused, she actually got quite angry when I suggested it. I called her a grumpy little princess and told her I liked her bitch face. She lightened up and I seeded date 4 which would be cooking at my place. She agreed but only if she could cook. Deal.

Date 4 – dinner at my place

I met her at the tube station again (she was an hour late) and told her off for being late. We walked to the supermarket to buy what she needed for cooking as well as a bottle of wine.

We got back to mine, I showed her around the apartment and put on some music. I pointed at the kitchen and said ‘get to work, woman’. She laughed and told me to ‘sit down and shut up, man’.

We chatted nonsense as she cooked and I lay on the couch drinking beer and playing on my phone. When the food was ready I set the table, dimmed the lights and lit some candles. It was quite romantic.

We ate the food then had a smoke on the balcony. After this we sat on the couch and started kissing. I asked her if she would like to watch a movie and grabbed the laptop. She said no and took the laptop and put it back on the coffee table.

‘Ok, how about a massage?’


I picked her up (she weighs 45kgs) and took her through to the bedroom. I started to massage her, gradually removing layers of clothing as I went. I oiled her up as I massaged her and she was getting very into it.

Soon all of our clothes were off and the P was in the V. Absolutely no LMR (If you don’t count the previous 3 dates).


Afterwards I asked her when she decided that she wanted to do it. She said she never really decided, it was a natural progression and seemed like the right time. She carried on to tell me that she hadn’t had sex for over a year before asking me when I last had sex.

‘Ummmm, a couple of months ago’ I couldn’t keep a straight face.

‘You are SUCH a liar, I can see that you’re lying, tell the truth’

‘OK, OK, maybe a month or so ago’

I quickly changed the subject before she quizzed me more on it.

Other fun facts

She tells me that she’s been approached many times on Oxford street and that I was a lot more creative than the others and didn’t give off a creepy vibe, I was the first one she gave her number to (so she tells me).

Her biggest turn-off is a jealous man. Yet she has sent me selfies with her and other men and she likes to tell me when she’s been approached in the street. So she told me what she dislikes then shit-tests me (still does) to see if she can make me jealous. I don’t know if she is doing this consciously, probably not, but I’ve learned that hot girls do things like this all the time.

She’s here for another few weeks so I will continue to see her and I will probably be sad when she leaves. If she finds this blog as well, then I’m retiring from the blogosphere.





Lay Report: Russian SDL

russian-girl-near-the-trainIt was day 9 of the jaunt and I’d had enough to be honest. I was averaging around 10 approaches a day and closing at the usual rate, however I wasn’t getting any of them out on dates. They would either flake or ghost after a couple of replies. It seemed that all the girls in the city were satiated by other cock.

I wasn’t alone in believing this. I’d met another good wing (who i’ll call Mr Arr) through Krauser the previous week. We had been winging together day and night and we both concluded that the best or maybe only way to get laid in this city was to go for the same day lay. If you take a number someone else will approach her, the bubble will burst and she will probably flake.

I’d done 4 throwaway sets so far that day where the girl would accept the compliment and quickly excuse themselves.

I was standing on the main daygame strip waiting for Mr Arr when I saw a short girl with dirty blonde hair, a denim jacket, short denim shorts and a little boob tube top. She was a solid 7, maybe even 7.5.

I ran straight in and she hooked almost instantly. I found out she was Russian, 19, still at school and was very into her reading. She was very feminine and also very chatty, so much for the ‘Russian Minute’.

After a few minutes in set I started to probe her logistics. She told me she was just walking around and didn’t have any plans for the evening (It was around 4.30pm on Saturday afternoon when I approached). Perfect.

I invited her for a coffee and she agreed. After the coffee I suggested going somewhere for a real drink, she said that sounds good. Then she asked me if I had been to the park where you have a great view of the city. I hadn’t and it sounded quite nice so I relented the frame and let her show me where it was. On the walk there we picked up a couple of beers from one of the little mini-markets. When we got sat down I started the questions game and she was very introverted and shy initially. Before long I went in for the first kiss attempt (this was about 2 hours in) and she did not resist. I was surprised.

She mentioned that she was hungry, I said ‘how about we go to the supermarket and get something to cook back at my place?’. She looked at me dead in the eyes and said ‘ok’ then smiled. Again I was surprised, I’d heard that Russian girls normally take a lot more dates and are not really SDL types.

We started walking back and stopped at the supermarket along the way. As we are walking I get a text from Mr Arr asking if it’s OK to give my number to one of the local daygamers. I say, sure.

A few minutes later I get a message from the local asking me about the girl I was with. He’d seen me walking with her and wanted to confirm it was her. I said yes, it was.

He had previously approached her, which I obviously did not know. He messaged me again saying that he was supposed to meet her at 6pm that evening! So she had cancelled her date with him to stay with me. I felt bad.

When we got back to the flat I poured us both some champagne and put on some music. We started kissing and I threw her on the bed. She seemed very horny but was resisting every time I tried to remove any of her clothing. She repeatedly said ‘this is not right, it’s too fast’. I agreed, rolled off and started to cook pasta.

We ate and talked nonsense, she was a nice girl and I enjoyed talking to her. After we ate I escalated again, giving her a massage on the bed. She was quite aroused but still kept pushing my hands away every time I tried to remove an item of clothing. ‘this is not right’. I agreed. It was now around 9.30pm, she didn’t seem to want to go anywhere so I suggested a movie. I put on VCB and we ended up watching the full movie. I escalated again after the movie and I managed to undo her bra and suck on her little titties. Progress.

We fooled around for a bit and I got some dry humping. It was getting quite late now, around 2.30am and I was getting frustrated. She asked if I wanted her to go, I said ‘you are welcome to stay the night, but if you do I will not stop trying to have sex with you’.

‘so all you want me for is sex?’

‘no, but I’m a man, you are a woman, I cannot fight natural desire’.

She said she had to go home quickly to pick something up from her place but would come back within half an hour. I said ok and sent her on her way in an uber expecting never to see her again.

Sure enough, 30mins later I get a message from her saying that she’s down stairs.

When she returned she put up some token resistance, but within minutes all our clothes were off and we were fucking. I’d met her just after 4pm and didn’t close the deal until just after 4am. It was a lot of effort but it was definitely worth it  😉



Lay Report – My first proper Same Day Lay

She wasn’t as hot as this girl
She was only a 6, 6.5 at best. I’m not that proud of it but I’ll quickly tell the story anyway…

It was day 4 of the jaunt and I was starting to feel the burn. On days 3 and 4 I only approached 8 girls on each day, closing 4 of them on day 3 and none on day 4 until this girl.

The weather had turned, the fierce heat had subsided and was replaced by cloudy skies and cooler air, it was nice. I did 7 sets outside getting mostly blow-outs and generally hating it. I moved inside the Palladium mall and then it started pissing down with rain so I couldn’t leave. I had no umbrella and was in a t-shirt.

I was due to have a girl (the date 1 from day 2) around that evening for ‘dinner’. So even though I wasn’t getting anywhere with my approaches, I wasn’t really bothered as I was pretty sure I was gonna get the notch later with a hot local girl.

At 16.30 I got a text from her saying she ‘I won’t be able to make it, how about coffee another day?’.

Damnit! It’s gone from a sure thing to having to start all over again. I walked around the mall cursing about the situation to my wing (Mr T) before he disappeared to go and meet a girl for a date at around 16.45.

I started to walk towards Starbucks to get a coffee and a sandwich. I saw a ratty looking girl with a back-pack, a duffel bag, pale skin, dyed short red hair, little shorts and a long black t-shirt. It looked like an easy set. I ran in and it was. She had just arrived from Slovakia for a 3 day holiday, was 19, a student, spoke good English and was killing time until 8pm when she was due to meet up with her friend.

On another day, I wouldn’t even have bothered, but I was that pissed off about not getting laid with the hot Czech that evening so I decided I was going to try and fuck this girl instead.

I bounced the Slovak to Starbucks with me, I got us coffee (I didn’t bother with the Sandwich, I still don’t feel comfortable eating in front of girls) and we talked nonsense. As we sat there talking about nothing I kept looking up at the sky light section of the roof trying to figure out if it had stopped raining. Eventually, it did. At this point I said ‘let’s go and get a real drink’. She had no objections.

I walked her to the same Irish bar, she had a vodka, I had two Guinness as she was a really slow drinker and we smoked some cigarettes. I escalated using the questions game and things got sexual quite quickly.

It was almost 7pm now, I told her ‘I’ve got some wine back at mine, let’s go back and you can show me that weird music you’re into’ (During our bla bla she told me she likes Korean music).

She agreed to come back but said ‘ok, but just talking and I have to leave at 8pm as I have to meet up with my friend to go to the cinema’. OK.

We got into the apartment, she asked if she must take her shoes off, ‘oh shit yeah, of course you do, how could i forget’. I took my shoes off too.

She dropped her bags at the front door and I showed her around the apartment. She didn’t want any alcohol so I poured us some water.

I gave her the laptop and she put on the Korean music. It was fucking terrible, even worse than Japanese heavy metal. I looked at her and laughed in her face. ‘I can’t believe you listen to this shit, look at these guys, they’re basically girls’.

At this point I tried to kiss her (for the first time) and she pulled away. ‘It’s my job to try, yours to resist’. She looked perplexed. I excused myself to go to the toilet. I returned and she was frantically flicking through the terrible Korean music trying to find a song that I liked.

At this point I text Mr T  ‘this isn’t going anywhere, where you at? I’ll come join’.

I sat back down beside the her and decided to try one more time for the kiss. This time I took the laptop off her lap, grabbed her around the throat and pulled her in. She was all in.

She asked me to turn the lights off and close the blinds (it was still daylight and there was a building right across the way). No problem.

She checked her phone, ‘I have to leave in 15 minutes so we have to be quick’. I was and she left jut before 8pm.

All very underwhelming, next.




Konnichiwa – Same Day De-Lay with a cute Japanese 

It was an awful weekend of Daygame.

On Friday I went out after work with Rambo for a couple of hours. I did 5 approaches, none of which were memorable. I sacked it off and went to the pub to watch Man United beat Southampton. It was a great performance and it cheered me up. 

I was due to go out for a mates birthday drinks that night but he cancelled last minute so me and Rambo decided to try our hand at gutter game. It was horrible, i approached only 6 girls  in 3.5 hours and  my longest set was about 40 seconds long. So in total I did 5.5 hours Daygame walking almost 40,000 steps (according to my phone) and approached 11 girls. That’s 3,636 steps/30mins per approach. Pathetic.

For some reason I couldn’t sleep when I got home and nodded off around 5am then awoke at 9am and could not get back to sleep.

I said fuck it, got up and went about my day. 

I eventually made it to central London at around 4pm for a solo session. It was very windy and the rain kept starting and stopping. I walked around for about an hour in an absolutely foul mood. I did one approach and the poor girl looked scared of me. I sacked it off. I went home, cooked some food, stuck on Casablanca and drank a full bottle of red wine in the process. I remember the first time I watched that movie years ago and thinking how cool Humphrey Bogart’s character was, now when I watched it again I saw him for what he truly was, a cuck. The red wine ensured that I slept like a rock that night. 

On Sunday I awoke with a groggy head but was feeling much better as I’d slept for a good 8 hours. I potted about the flat before hitting the streets at around 5pm (again solo).

I started at Tottenham Court Road and made my way towards Oxford Circus. 


I jumped straight in when I saw an Asian girl dressed in all black leathers, with ear piercings and a great big hat. She was a 7.

I opened and after she got over me scaring the shit out of her (which I still do to all Asians) she started to get into it.

I found out she was 23, an actress, loved heavy metal, spontaneous adventures and was in London for two more days. 

It was my first approach of the day and I found myself in a dilemma of whether to suffer the opportunity cost of an idate or plod on. I dug a bit deeper into her logistics. She was on her way to have high tea and had planned to go to the theatre that night. She would be flying back to Tokyo on Tuesday but had planned to go to Oxford all day Monday. If it was going to happen, it had to be today. 

I suggested she go for her high tea and me and her go for a drink after. She agreed.

I went to close and she told me she doesn’t have a sim and can only message when on wifi. No problem, I added her on Facebook and sent her on her way. I didn’t really expect to hear from her again and I wasn’t that bothered if I didn’t.

I carried on with my session. Unfortunately it was down hill from there. I approached one other girl who was a ridiculously hot 40yr old Czech woman. She loved the attention but just wasn’t interested in me.

It started raining at around 7pm. I had no umbrella or jacket and it was getting cold. All the shops were closed on Oxford st apart from Schuh. I went in there to take shelter from the rain and before I knew it one of the hot shop assistants had gamed me into buying a new pair of shoes. As I was paying I got a stream of messages through from the Asian. She wanted to meet me at Big Ben in one hour.

I mulled over whether or not I could be arsed waiting around. The notch hyena quickly made my mind up for me. I agreed to meet her at Big Ben at 8.30.

She was 5 minutes late!


She turned up looking much hotter with her hair tied back, wearing torn jeans and a bit of make-up. I had an instant boner and she had now progressed to an 8.
I had no real date plan in mind. I started walking her along the Thames and stumbled upon a little boat bar called Tattershall Castle. This turned out to be a great venue 1, she loved being on the water. I built up plenty of comfort whilst spiking all the way through and she was complying to everything. I knew it was on.

We finished that drink and I started walking her towards more familiar territory. We stopped at another bar called Sherlock Holmes. It was almost 10pm and we were getting to the end of our drinks. I tried to be clever and say “I know a great place that has free wine, free food and great couches… My place!”. She looked at me dumbfounded, this had been lost in translation. So then I just came out and said, let’s have a drink at my place. She agreed straight away but only if I could get her on the last tube back. No problem.


I ordered an uber and it was there within 2minutes. We got back to my place and had a couple of sips of wine whilst she showed me some Japanese heavy metal on YouTube. It was shit.

I excused myself to go to the bathroom and when I returned I grabbed her hands and said “come with me”. She complied.

I got her on the bed and after a couple of minutes of “massage” all her clothes were off then mine, we fucked and she made cute little squeaks and squeals as I brought her to orgasm. She had a great little body, big breasts, big ass and a nice tight little vagina.

Squeaky time

It was around 11.30 when we finished, I ordered her an Uber and was asleep by midnight and up for work on time. 

Glad I decided to wait around, I was very close to heading home when she messaged. 

Same Day Delay with a Mauritian Beauty


I thought I wasn’t going to make it, but with one day to spare I got my notch for the month. Here’s the full story…

I spent most of the afternoon working and had planned to go out and try my hand at gutter game that evening with a wing in Shoreditch. I decided to go central for an hour of daygame before the gutter game session.

I approached as soon as I got off the tube at Oxford circus and closed a cute English girl who was on her way to meet a guy for a second date. She has since flaked.

I met up with Rambo and we did some daygame. I’ve winged with him a few times now, he’s a cool guy and I find that he always lifts my vibe.

I did one or two sets and as we were walking towards Selfridges I saw her walking on the other side of the road in the opposite direction. I jogged across the road in pursuit. As I walked behind her I noticed how her ass was moving from side to side like a pendulum, I was certain she was ovulating.

She was 5′ 4″, Asian looking (but hot, I don’t normally go for the Asian girls), slim but with a larger ass than a typical Asian girl and wearing tight jeans and a tight jumper that showed off her mid-rif. I’d say she’s an 8.


I front stopped her and scared the shit out of her. This is a very common reaction for me when I open Asian girls. I smiled, delivered the opener and told her I liked how she moved from side to side when she walked. She relaxed, smiled and asked if I mind if I walk with her. I hate walking sets, but this girl was hot and it was the second last day of July, I was desperate for a notch so I walked.

We chatted for about 3 minutes and it was all very logical. I’ve just listened back to the set. I didn’t do any attraction apart from the opener, the rest was comfort and logistics. I found out she was from Mauritius, studied Law and would be leaving London the next day.I asked her what she was doing that night, she said nothing as all her friends lived out of town. Green. Green. Green.

She wanted to carry on shopping and I was with a wing so I suggested meeting for a drink at 9pm, she was keen so we exchanged numbers.

I got some food with Rambo and called my other wing to cancel on the gutter game session, I felt like a cunt for that but he didn’t seem to mind.


When I met up with her she looked even hotter, she’d taken her jumper off to reveal a small black lacy top which showed off her tits and had put a little bit of make-up on.

I didn’t have a solid plan for date venues so I winged it. I walked her down Kingly street and all the bars there looked rammed. As we got to the end of the street there was one bar called two floors which looked quite chilled so I pulled her in there.

I got the first round and told her to get us a seat. She did so. As we sat down a DJ started playing and it got noisy. This was a good excuse for me to sit beside her so I could “hear her better”.

As we got chatting she told me she was a smoker so I took her out the back where it was a bit quieter for a smoke. I got the boring comfort stuff out of the way and then we went back in to find our seats were gone and the only seats available were right by the DJ booth.

I needed to escalate so I started the questions game to speed things up. Her first question to me was “where is the craziest place you’ve had sex?” She wasn’t wasting any time.

We played this for about 10 minutes before I excused myself to go to the toilet. The toilets were downstairs and when I was there I noticed there was another bar which was a lot quieter and had some couches free.

I went back up put out my hand, she grabbed it and I took her down stairs. I realise we are about an hour into the date at this point and I haven’t tried to kiss her yet. I try and she resists. No problem. The downstairs bar announces that it’s closing and we’d have to go back up stairs.

She tells me she wants to see some of the famous parts of Soho. I decide it’s a great idea to take her to a place called Freedom thinking that it’s a strip club, maybe all the strippers will make her hornier.

We pay our £5 entry each and the place is rammed. It’s full of gays and it’s NOT a strip club. Fuck.

Gay Bar

It’s her round so I send her off to fight her way through the hordes of homos to get us a drink. I grab a booth and sit and wait for her.

While I’m waiting a group of four men (one dressed as a woman) plonk themselves down beside me on both sides. The drag queen leans in close to me and starts chatting me up, badly. I politely tell them I’m here with a girl and that they can’t sit here. They don’t care, they aren’t moving. My date comes back with two jäger bombs looking very confused. One of the guys gets up and let’s her sit beside me. I’m sitting there wondering how I let things get to this.

We make polite chit chat with the homos. She thinks it’s hilarious that the he-she is hitting on me. We sink our drinks and I tell her “let’s get outta here”.

Logistics Problems

It’s now around 11pm. She tells me she is staying at a friends house and she has the only key, so she has to be back before her friend to let her in.

I tell her ok, let’s have one more drink at my place.

She had no objections so I order an uber (my place is about 10 minutes away), we get in and her friend calls her whilst we’re on our way to my place to say she’s coming home. Fuck.

We rerouted towards her place which  was 30 minutes away in the opposite direction. When we got there we went inside and her friend wasn’t home yet. We drank some wine and I pulled her in for the kiss. No objections.

We were sitting on her bed and she tells me “I don’t know what you expected from me tonight, but I am not going to sleep with you”.

“OK” I responded and changed the subject.

Her friend got home (who was also quite hot) and the three of us sat there chatting for while. I asked if there was anywhere good to go around the area that was still open and she said our best bet was to head back central.

I ordered an uber for myself and told my girl to come with me. She offered some token resistance saying she had to be up early, I told her its her last night in London, live a little. She looked at her friend who was encouraging her to join me.

It was a long uber back to mine however, there were no awkward silences.

When we got back I stopped at the shop to pick up a couple of beers. We got to mine, watched some youtube videos and drank the beers.

We started kissing again and I told her I was an expert masseuse. I took her through to the bedroom and she insisted that she wasn’t taking off her clothes. I said fine and gave her a massage over the top of her clothes. I then took out the baby oil and told her it was much better on flesh.

She said she couldn’t take her top off as it was a one piece which unbuttoned underneath, I rolled off and told her to choose some music she liked on the laptop. We started kissing again and I started rubbing her pussy over the top of her jeans, she pushed my hand away, got up and said she needed the bathroom. When she returned her jeans were off and it was just the one piece.

I started massaging her again, I unbuttoned the one-piece and pushed it up to reveal her bra and panties. I squirted some oil on and she really started to get into it. I undid her bra and started rubbing her full back and she started to moan. At this point I turned her over, pulled her bra away and started massaging her tits. I wiped the oil off my hands before I started fingering her, she was gyrating like crazy. I pushed her head back and went down on her (no spots or cold sore on my mouth this time). She had fantastic little vagina, barely a hair on it, nice and juicy and it was quite tight.

Within minutes we were fucking and she was quite wild even though she told me earlier in the date that she doesn’t like hard or dirty sex.

Post-coital Debrief

I asked her when she decided she was going to have sex and she said as soon as she got into my flat. She also said she was impressed how I handled the homos and how nice I was to her friend, in fact she said she was starting to get jealous and thought that I liked her friend more than her.

Lay Report: 21 yr old English virgin

emma watson.jpgI approached this girl on a Sunday evening two weeks ago on Oxford Street.

She made fleeting eye contact as she passed which I took as a definite IOI.

I opened with “excuse me, I saw you back there and thought you looked cute. You do know it’s rude to stare and not say hello, right?”

She looked about 18 years old. When we got chatting I found out she was 21, English (with one Malaysian and one Swiss parent) and a recent graduate in photography. She had a piercing beneath her bottom lip and lots on her ears. She was an outlier, if a shy one.

It was a quickish set (5mins) as she was in a hurry to go meet friends for drinks. I teased her for drinking on a school night. I also teased her for looking like Hermione (grown up!) from the Harry Potter movies, she is almost a spitting image. She giggled, in fact she giggled at nearly everything I said.

I took the number.


The texting was slow. Initially she was taking over a day to reply but, she was replying. I invited her out, she said she couldn’t make it. I said ok, I’ll be in touch when I’m back from holidays.

I ping her a nice photo of the scenery whilst on holiday. She loves it.

I set up a date for the day after I get back from Marseille.

First date

She lives quite far out of London so I told her to meet me outside Covent Garden tube station at 8pm on the Friday night.

I text her on the day to tell her I’ll be late, can we make it 8.30pm instead. She agrees (this also confirms the date is still on).

She turns up at 8.45, I tell her she’s buying the first drinks for being late. She giggles. She is a very giggly girl, I’m really not that funny.

She is wearing doc Martin boots, a skirt which shows of plenty of her surprisingly long legs (shes 5′ 4″) and a tight fitting top. She looks hot despite the doc martins. Solid 7, maybe even a 7.5.

I took her to a pub in Covent Garden for the first venue. We sat opposite each other and spoke about family, our current situation, hobbies etc. All that boring but essential comfort stuff.

I then took her to a darker quieter venue in 7 dials. We sat beside each other on a couch this time. I ran a bit more comfort whilst drawing diagrams of the things I was describing on her thighs. After this I break the 4th wall and say “you do know that was just and excuse to touch your leg, right?” She giggles and says “at least you’re honest”.

We then proceeded to the questions game. I’ve stopped playing this on recent dates for fear of being too gamey, but I knew this girl wouldn’t mind. She was accepting all of my advances, if not reciprocating them yet.

Before long we were kissing. She wasn’t a great kisser. During the questions game I pegged her as half R and half K (most girls). She told me she’d only ever had one serious boyfriend of four months but that she definitely wasn’t a virgin. I was sceptical.

Before I new it, it was 11pm and she said she had to go so as not to miss the last train home. I  told her she could crash on my couch, she declined. As she was getting ready to leave I asked her if she could cook, she said no, I said I was a great cook, how about dinner and a movie at my place for the next date. She said “we’ll have to see about that”.

Second Date

It was a Monday, I pinged her in the afternoon to see if she’d behaved the rest of the weekend. She replied as all girls do saying “I always behave 😇”. I told her I’d like to see her again and that I was free Monday (that night) and Tuesday. She chose the Monday. I was a bit worried as a massive spot had developed in the corner of my mouth which may put her of me kissing her on the lips (either pair).

I told her to meet me at Old Street tube station, the nearest tube to my place, at 8pm. She responded saying the earliest she could do is 8.30pm. Ok.

I then got stuck at work until after 7pm. I text her telling her I wouldn’t have time to cook, we could get a takeaway and some wine. She responded “aha, sounds good”. This is when I knew I was probably going to get laid. I got home, popped the humungous spot and figured I could just tell her I cut myself shaving, had a shower and got ready.

I got to the station at 8.30pm, again she was 15 minutes late. I playfully spanked her on the ass when she arrived for being late. This time she turned up in jeans and a jumper and hadn’t made as much effort as the first date. I asked her “where’s the mini-skirt? How am I supposed to see your legs?!”. She said “I’m sure you can figure it out”.

We picked up a pizza, some salad and a bottle of wine. When we got to my place I showed her around, we ate and after that we sat on the couch, listened to music and chatted more shit.

I then resumed the questions game going sexual straight away (basically picking up where we left off on the last date). We started kissing and she was making little moaning noises as we kissed. She was very horny.

I started rubbing her pussy over the top of her jeans and I could feel she was wet. I pulled off poured more wine, went back to kissing. I did this a couple of times before finally picking her up and carrying her to the bedroom. She didn’t have any complaints.

When we get to the bedroom I tell her “I’m an expert masseuse, I learnt everything I know from youtube”. She giggled, I whip out the baby oil and start massaging her back. I start removing the layers and getting her oiled up as I go. She is moaning quite a lot now and complains that I haven’t taken any clothes off and she’s practically naked (She was down to her matching bra and panties by this stage). I throw off all my clothes, she then tells me “I’m sorry”, “What are you sorry for?” says me.

“I’ve never done this before” says her.

I don’t rib her for lying to me in the first place. I just say “Don’t worry, I’ll take it easy”.

I start fingering her, I can barely fit my index finger in there!

I go down on her to get things moving a bit more freely. Soon we are fucking pretty hard and her tiny little vagina is bleeding all over my dick. Daygame rocks.

Post-coital Debrief

I ask her why she lied about the virginity. She said she found it embarrassing that she was still a virgin at 21. I told her there is no shame in it, what I didn’t tell her that I have fucked a 25 year old virgin (this was also from daygame, but pre-blogging days).

I asked her when she knew she was going to have sex with me, and as I suspected, she said “when I agreed to come to your place”.

She then started telling me a lot of very personal things about her past. We cuddled and watched Vicky Christina Barcelona before fucking some more. I reckon I got about 2hours sleep before I had to get up and go to work, but I didn’t care. It was definitely worth it.



Burrito Bar Bang

blonde-114842.jpgI didn’t bang her in a burrito bar, I just wanted to do some alliteration. Here’s the story.

It’s Friday evening. I worked late and didn’t hit the streets until around 7pm. I daygamed for 2 hours and only did 4 approaches. The quality was low and my vibe was off after a long day in the office.

I was exhausted so I sat down on a bench outside Wasabi on Oxford street (the one towards Bond Street) feeling sorry for myself. I don’t eat cream cakes ala Bodi but if I did, I would have been scoffing them down.

I text a fellow daygamer to see if he fancied a pint, he tells me he’s already gone home. I say to myself, “fuck it, one more set!”

Then out of McDonalds walks a stunning little Asian girl. She’s walking very slowly, sipping on a big coke. Thank you Daygame Gods!

I open and it’s the first one of the day that it’s on. She eye spazzes, crosses her legs as if to say, show me what you got. It’s a good set. She tells me she’s from Russia. I say no you’re not, you’re from Khasakstan. She’s impressed. I ask what she’s up to and she tells me she’s off to work, she’s a singer at some club.

“Another time I’d like to take you for a drink” me.

“I don’t give out my number on the street” her

“I’ll text you once, if you don’t reply I’ll never text you again” me

Lies, I’ll ping her 48hours later. Then I’ll give up. She gives me the number.

My vibe is instantly up and I’m in a good mood. It still amazes me how Daygame fucks with your emotions.

I text another mate to see if he fancied a pint. He does I meet him and I drink 4 beers with him.

We go our separate ways around midnight.

I get the tube back to Old Street, I’m starving and remember I haven’t eaten since lunch. I pop into a takeaway called the Mexican Express on my way home.

I see two girls laughing at the seats in the shop front window as I walk in, they’re both 7’s (neither as hot as the girl in the picture above) and had clearly been drinking. I place my order and sit down at a table just behind them as I wait to listen into their conversation. I figure our one is Polish and the other French. I get up and walk over to them, I can’t even remember what I opened with, it was fairly indirect, something along the lines of “you ladies seem to be enjoying yourself, this is clearly where the party is”

We chat for a little while. My burrito is ready and the guy calls me to the til to pay. I collect my burrito turn to walk out and as I am on my way I say my goodbyes to the girls. The Polish asks where I’m going, I say home. She says nooooo, stay with us. So I sit while the polish eats a burrito with a fork and knife (who does that?). I tease her on this. All three of us are sitting at the window stools. It’s me, then Polish then French in a row. There’s a joke in there somewhere.

As we chat the Polish is eyeballing me, I return long eye contact in between talking to the French girl about Marseille, where she is from. I tell her I’m going there in a couple of weeks for the football. She’s telling me it’s not safe, I tell her I lived in South Africa, bring it on. I didn’t realise it at the time, but I was DHVing and the Polish was lapping it up.

Polish finishes her food and French starts talking about the two of them getting a cab home together. Polish says she wants to go for another drink.

I tell Polish “let me take you for a drink, we can put your friend in a cab”

They confer with whispers for a little while before they agree to my plan. French girl is on her way.

I take Polish to a bar across the road called Lovers Company. Its a trendy basement bar and quite noisy. I’d never been here before as it’s still my first week in the area. We get a G&T each and sit down at a table. It’s a small table surrounded by noisy drunken English girls. I tell her I’m going to look around the venue and find the toilet, I’ll be back. I walk around and find a private little room at the back which is wall to wall couches, no tables and the music is a lot quiter. Perfect! I go for a piss, go back the table, pick up both our coats and my drink and take her hand. “where are we going?!”, “just follow me”.

We get to the couch room and take a seat. There is no-one in there but us. Before long we are kissing and she jumps on top of me. A couple of guys come to walk in and shout “get a room” and walk out.

She hops off me feeling slightly embarrassed, I tell her she’s a bad girl and return to boring chat until we’re almost finished the G&T’s.

“I live just around the corner, let’s grab a bottle of wine and go back to mine, it’s quieter there”.

Her ASD kicks in… “I’m not going to sleep with you” her

“Who said anything about that??” me

We leave and walk to the shop across the road, buy cigarettes and a bottle of white wine. We start walking towards my place and she asks to sit down on the steps to have a smoke. I agree and run some more comfort. She starts showing me some pictures of art she had done and I’m genuinely impressed so I tell her this. After a while I stand up and say “let’s go back to, it’s getting cold”. She agrees but tells me she is definitely having sex with me.

We get to the lift in my apartment block, as soon as the doors close we start kissing and I’m thinking it’s on.

We get into my place, all the lights are off, but I can tell my flatmate is sleeping as his bedroom door is closed.

We go into the lounge, I get the laptop out, put on some music softly and pour the wine. We talk for little while, she tells me how nice the place is etc. I grab her around the throat and start kissing her. Then I pull away and tell her I need to pee (again). When I return she asks if she can have a smoke on the balcony. I agree and join her for one, I don’t want to wake my flatmate so I pull the balcony door closed behind me. We have our cigarettes, kiss a bit and I say “let’s go back in”. I go the the balcony door and discover that there’s no handle on the outside. Fuck.

It was my first time on the balcony as I had only moved in the previous weekend. She asks me how are you going to open it? Good question says me. It’s around 2.30am and we are trapped on my balcony. I try to ring my flatmate to ask him to open but his phone is off. I text him, no reply. We both laugh at the hilarity of the situation and sit there for a while, kissing and cuddling. I ask her if she’s ever had sex on a balcony? She reminds me that we are not having sex tonight.

The clock ticks, it gets to 4am and we’re both freezing. I sit there thinking how royally I have fucked this up. Randomly, there a big storage cupboard full of suitcases on the balcony. I pull out two of the suitcases and say “lets’s climb in one of these each, it’ll keep us warm. She laughs, but I’m being serious. I try to climb in one and surprisingly, I don’t fit.

I then have another bright idea, the cupboard is now empty. Let’s get in the cupboard. So we did that for a while but it wasn’t very comfortable. It gets to around 5am and Polish hears people walking by on the street beneath us. It’s her idea to shout down to them and ask them to ring my flat number on the intercom. Good citizens as they, they do so about 4 or 5 times. They tell me someone answered. Yes!

My flatmate comes out to the balcony pissing himself laughing, opens the door and runs back to bed without saying a word.

She tells me she’s going home, she’s freezing. I tell her “no you’re not, there’s no tubes, let’s get in bed”. She agrees on the premise that I give her one of my T-shirts to wear and reminds me… “we’re not having sex”.

We get into bed and within 5 minutes we are fucking.

Daygame is for losers, burrito bars are where it’s at.





Lay Report: German Teacher


This lay was definitely the most LMR that I have ever encountered whilst still getting the lay.


I was coming towards the end of a post work daygame session on Friday and was walking towards a bar to meet my friends when I saw her. She was walking down Oxford street going nowhere quickly. I let her walk by so I could check out her ass, it was slightly bigger than what I would normally go for but I decided to open.

I told her she looked like she was daydreaming and she hooked straight away asking me lots of questions. I found out she was a 25 year old German (Turkish descent) teacher with an American accent. She had just arrived the day before and was only in London a few more nights. Even though I was on my way to meet friends I invited her for a quick drink, she declined as she was on her way home to get ready to go out with people from her hostel. She asked if we could meet the next night, Saturday, I said no because I was watching the FA Cup final and I had another date lined up afterwards (I didn’t tell her about the date). I tried to get her to ditch her hostel mates that night instead, she said she might, to text her and see.


I went on my way to meet my mates, I text her about meeting that evening but she said she was too tired, we re-arranged for Sunday. I wouldn’t normally push this hard but I knew she was leaving soon.

I went daygaming on Saturday and it was a pointless session, the weather was crap and there were rowdy drunken football fans (due to the FA Cup final) all over central London, I was not happy. I received a long apologetic cancellation message from an Iranian lead that I was due to go on a date with that evening. She was called into work and wouldn’t be able to make it.

I sacked off the daygame and went to a friends to watch the football. While I was there I text the German to see if she wanted to meet tonight (Saturday) instead. She agreed and met me that evening at Barbican tube station at 9pm.


I took her to the Old Red Cow first, it was pretty dead which was perfect for a first venue. I ran the usual comfort before bouncing her to a basement bar that I have been taking all my dates lately. The bar man in there knows me by name and must think I’m some sort of player, I’ve taken 5 different girls in there in the last two weeks, every time I go, he greets me by name and asks who the lovely lady is. Great social proof.

This bar closed and I told her I have some more wine back at home, she agreed to come back. When we left I took her for a walk towards a late shop to buy some water and cigarettes, we stood outside the shop having a cigarette and got talking about how her ex-boyfriend was crap in bed. She told me she liked rough sex, at this point I grabbed her around her throat, pushed her up against the wall and kissed her for the first time. She loved it and was kissing back passionately. I pulled away from her (always leave her wanting more) and grabbed her hand and started walking towards my place whilst talking reverting to boring chit chat.

We got to my front door, I said lets go up and she was more than happy to follow. I had tried this 4 times previously in the last couple of weeks and every girl said no, it was too soon.

When we got into my apartment I sat her down in the living room, poured us both some water and put some music on. I started kissing her then the first signs of LMR kicked in. She started saying that she wasn’t going to have sex with me and that I was only after one thing. All men are the same!

I said ok, let’s watch some shit youtube videos instead, I put on some Adrian Bliss videos to get her laughing. I started stroking her back whilst we were watching, then I stopped, she grabbed my hand and told me not to stop. I told her I’m much better at real massages. She said she’s good at receiving them. I grabbed the lap top, grabbed her hand and led her to my bed room. I told her to lye down face first on the bed, she obliged, I put the laptop on the pillow so that she could carry on watching youtube whilst I went to get some baby oil.

Before long she didn’t care about the youtube videos anymore as she getting quite into the massage, I told her “this is getting in the way” (her bra), I undid the fastening and carried on massaging. She kept telling me how good I was at it. I told her I’m better at massaging the front. She rolled over, I massaged her belly and tits for a little while before we started kissing again, she was very into it now, I started rubbing her pussy over the top of her jeans, she started gyrating so I went for glory, shoving my hand under her jeans and pants and started to finger her. She started moaning and was enjoying it for about a minute before pushing me off and telling me to stop. She was not going to have sex with me, she wasn’t that type of girl.

Fine, lets watch some more videos… It got to about 3am and she was starting to fall asleep on my bed. I woke her up and told her I was going to go to sleep, she asked if she could stay until the tube opened at 5am. I said sure, but I can’t sleep in my clothes so I stripped down to my boxers and got into bed. She went to the toilet, when she came back she took her jeans off leaving only a small top, bra and pants on before getting into bed. She lay on top of my chest, my hands started to wander and we started kissing again… This time I tried to go down on her and this point she told me “No, I can’t do this, not on the first date”. I said fine, rolled off and lay down again. She turned her back to me, I spooned. We both dozed off for a little while when I woke up to find that she was pushing her ass against my dick. I started fingering her from behind and kissing her on the neck at the same time. She started moaning and digging her nails into me, she was getting into it. I got a bit rougher and started biting her neck (I left a hicky on her neck, haven’t done that since I was about 16). I tried to go down on her again and once I got my tongue in there, there was no way back for her. We fucked for about an hour after this and it was more intense than normal as she had resisted for so long.


I didn’t ask her my usual question of when she knew she wanted to have sex as I could sense that she was disappointed in herself, I didn’t want to make her feel any more slutty. I actually felt bad a little! Instead I asked if she came, she said no, it’s impossible to make her cum. I need to up this part of my game!

Lay Report: Turkish Nymph


This one was especially sweet considering that she was resisting and giving me shit tests from the moment I opened her on the street, right the way through to the bedroom.


I saw a short brunette walking towards me down Market Street in Manchester. I forced an IOI, let her walk by so I could check out her ass. It was big and juicy with a tiny waist above it. I was gay if I didn’t open.

“Excuuuuuse me, it’s rude to stare and not say hello…”

She gives me a confused glare, I carry on.

“You do speak English right?”

She nods and signals, a little, I proceed…

“I think you look very cute, you seemed to be walking along in your own little bubble without a care in the world.”

Then came the barrage of shit tests.

“What do you want?”

“You can’t just talk to a girl on the street, this doesn’t happen in my country!”

“Do you do this to all the girls”

“You could be a murderer.”

I overcame all of them with a combination of ignoring them and turning it back on her. Eventually I got her laughing and into comfort.

I find out she’s Turkish, here to study and only arrived a few weeks ago and doesn’t really know anyone in Manchester. Perfect.

When I went for the close she said

“No, You are a womanizer”

I didn’t disagree.

“I’ll text you once, if you don’t reply, so be it” I said, with a cheeky grin.

I pinged her a couple of times over the last couple of weeks and set up the date for the next time I was back in Manchester.

Day 2

I was fifteen minutes late as I got stuck in the office. She arrived wearing tight blue jeans, a black leather jacket and she had put make-up on, no heel but she looked hot. When I closed her  I thought she was a 6.5, but now she looked a solid 7, maybe even a 7.5.

I walked her to the first bar (Affleck and Brown, in the Northern Quarter) where we sat at the bar. I did comfort for a while but she was still very sceptical and wanted to text her friends to let her know where she was. I told her that was rude, she was safe and if she didn’t feel safe she could leave whenever she wanted. She put her phone away. She told me a story where one of her chode boyfriends had planned to take a Chinese girl to the cinema that night, but this girl would only go with him if my date went with them. He told my date that she should cancel meeting me to tag along on his date to improve his chances with Chinese girl… I told her that her friend is a loser who can’t get a girl by his own means and that he was using her. She agreed and told me that she did not respect him. I feel sorry for him.

We walk to the next bar (Apotheca) where we sit beside each other on a couch. I escalate and try to kiss her. She pulls away. I tell her I will try a total of 5 times. She giggles. I did a bit more comfort and kino, giving her a shoulder massage, I tell her I’m an expert at massaging, I learnt everything I know from youtube. I go for 5th kiss attempt and she kisses me awkwardly.


We leave and I walk us in the direction of my place. She tells me she doesn’t like kissing in public and that she didn’t like kissing in the bar. I talk nonsense as we walk towards my apartment, it seems to do the job as she is not protesting. We get to my door and I say “come up for one more drink”. She agrees.

I show her around my apartment and pour us both some Baileys. We sit on the couch, I put some music on, we chat a little, have one sip of our drink each before we are kissing quite passionately.

I pick her up (she weighs about 45 kilos), walk her to my bedroom and throw her on the bed. We carry on kissing fully clothed and i rub her pussy over the top of her pants, I can feel that she is soaking wet. She pushes me off and says “I want to sleep, no more”. However, she proceeds to strip down to her underwear, she rolls over and pulls the covers over her head.

I get up, switch the light off and get undressed. I get in the bed and spoon her, she pushes her big ass in to my boner. Within seconds I’m inside her and she is wild!

My condom comes off half way through, and I raid my drawers, no more condoms… fuuuuck. She says, no problem and goes down on me to finish me off. What a nice girl.


I ask her when she knew she wanted to have sex with me, she says “when you started touching me in the second bar”. She proceeds to tell me that the reason she was so sceptical at the start is because she finds it difficult to find a man who will put up with her problem. Inside I’m thinking, shit, what problem?!

I ask her “what problem?”. She says “Once I start having sex, I never want to stop, I think I have a problem, and previous relationships have failed because of it”.

I tell her it’s natural but she disagrees.

We doze off and I wake at around 4am, she’s rubbing my dick. We start playing around again, before I know it we are fucking (bare back). This carries on for 3 hours before I get up, shower and go to work. Work was tough the next day, but it was worth it.

Turkish flag captured.

Lay Report: Hungarian Girl

 Not that proud of this one so I’ll keep it relatively short. 
The Open

I was having dinner with friends (a couple) in Manchester on Saturday night. We were sat at a table not far from the bar. I’d had a couple of beers with the meal so it wasn’t a cold/Daygame approach. She was a 7 at this point. 
I saw her sitting at the bar alone. She was occasionally sharing a joke with the bar man. Then she was sat on her phone for a few minutes. This was my opportunity. I told my friends I’d be right back.

I strolled over, “excuse me, I know you’re probably waiting on friends, but I saw you from over there and I thought you looked interesting so I had to say hi”.. She loved it and hooked instantly. I spoke to her for about 10 minutes, she’s Hungarian, a bit crazy and works in the same restaurant in London. She’s come up to Manchester to visit friends. I took her number, told her “see you in London” and rejoined my friends.


I text her the next day as I was on my way down to London. This girl has great text game. I set up the date for Monday night.

The Date

I meet her in Piccadilly Circus, by the tall man outside Ripleys. I’ve used this location a few times, I text her a pic of that and tell her “that’s where I’m meeting you tonight”. She was dolled up and a bit taller than I expected (she was sat down for all of our interaction). However, she wasn’t quite as hot as I’d remembered. 6.5.

The frame battle commenced. This girl is Very chatty, most of the time her banter is good but it’s hard to get a word in edge ways. She frequently tells me to tell her to shut up. I tell her to sssh a few times but it’s exhausting. I’m still tired from the night before and I’m losing patience with this girl. 

The Bounce Back

I took her to Grace first then to the Hippodrome, both were pretty shit. When we leave Hippodrome I ask her if she likes wine, she says yes. I say lets go back to mine and drink some. She says ok. Then she is completely silent. I tease her saying “so all I had to do was invite you back to my place to get you to shut up?! “. This relieves any tension that was starting to build.

When I get her into the flat I pour the wine. She resumes chatterbox mode and i get fed up, grab her chin, pull her in and start kissing her. No resistance whatsoever. Within minutes we’re both naked and fucking. She was probably one of my weirdest lays. She was very smiley in bed and would occasionally giggle as I was fucking her. This killed my boner. I came eventually but it wasn’t great.

Lay Report – Black Tattoed Girl

This was another lay from “night game” so I won’t be adding it to the notch count, but I’ll tell the story anyway. She was black, covered in tattoos and piercings and looked dirty as fuck, I found out later that she was a “model”.  I’d say she’s a 7. Let’s call her B.

It was a Wednesday night, I was out with the same two friends as the last lay report. By this stage I had pretty much thrown in the towel with Daygame as we only had a few days left of the trip. More on that in another blog post.

I’d already had a few drinks, we went to watch South Africa vs Australia in the T20 cricket, a sport I know nothing about. Australia won apparently. After this we went back into town to see what was happening. We went to one bar called “Orphanage” which is quite upmarket but arrived just as it was closing so we went to an Irish bar called “The Dubliner” on Long street. 

This is not like a typical pub in Ireland, it’s popular as it has a big dance floor, plays pop music and is open late. You get all sorts in there.

We walked to the smoking section as the bar was less busy there. We got a drink then I saw a cute blonde girl sitting beside B on the couches, I went over and used my standard Daygame opener for two-sets. The Blondie was my initial target but wasn’t really interested. B was all over me as soon as she figured out I was Irish.

Within 5 minutes she jumped on top of me and we were kissing. I found out later that these girls were in a group of 7 other guys. None of them cock-blocked me, one actually came over and asked me where I was from etc. 

It was so on that I just said to B;

“let’s get  out of here”

“where to?” She asked

 “my place”

“but where do you live?”

“a 5 min drive away”

I grabbed her hand and walked her out of the bar and hailed the first cab I saw.

We got back and went straight to the bedroom. No LMR whatsoever. 

No Condom!!

Stupidly I only brought 3 condoms with me on the trip which I used all of on the previous girl.  I’d been meaning to buy more but forgot. Luckily, B had one in her handbag. I’d been fucking her for about an hour (I struggle to cum when I’ve been drinking). She had squirted all over the bed twice, I was actually quite disgusted. Then the condom came off. B said “it’s fine I’ll put it back on”.

She put it back on, we carried on fucking until I eventually came and she squirted all over the bed. Again. I was exhausted as I rolled over onto the squirt juice soaked bed. I looked down and saw that the condom had ripped. Fuuuuuck!

We lay there both quizzing each other;

“Do you have anything?” Said B

“No” said me

“When was the last time you got checked?” She carried on.

“About 6 months ago, but I always wear a condom” I said, which is true.

“Are you on the pill?” I continued

“No, I don’t believe in that” says B.

Inside I’m freaking the fuck out but I remain cool.

“Ok, you’re staying here and I’m taking you to the pharmacy in the morning and you’re taking the morning after pill”  said me

“Nooooo, I’ve already taken it once and you’re only supposed to take it once in your lifetime, I’m not taking it again” said B.

At this point I’m starting to think this girl might be genuinely crazy. 

“Don’t be silly, you will be pregnant if you don’t take it and that will be the end of your modelling” I said. 

She’s 24 and still got a few years ahead of her. When I said this she agreed.

Walk of shame

The next morning we fucked again with no condom. The damage was already done, right?

We both showered, got dressed and I walked her to the pharmacy which is a 10 minute walk away. She was in a short black skirt and black high heels. It was about 1pm, the sun was at its apex  so we were both sweating profusely, every head turning as we walked down a busy street. We get to the pharmacy and B didn’t want to go in, I approached the kiosk and the lady didn’t want to sell it to me, “we can only sell it to women”, I grabbed B and brought her to the kiosk and we got the pill plus two bottles of water. We went outside and she took the pill. I ordered an uber and dropped her off at her place.

What did I learn from this experience?

Always have condoms! 

I’m quite worried I may have caught something so I’ll be going straight to the clinic when I get back to Blighty. Hopefully I will live to tell more tales. 

Lay Report – Cape Coloured Girl

This girl was actually a “night game” close so I won’t be adding it to my notch count. I’m terrible at night game. Most of the time I go out, I get too drunk and I can’t dance for shit so I don’t find night game so easy. The girl is hotter than the one in the picture but it’s the closest I could find on google images. If I had to score her I’d say shes a 6.5 or a 7 depending on if she’s done up or not. So here goes…

Setting the Scene

I was out with a couple of friends at a street party they have here in Cape Town on the first Thursday of the month. You can drink on the streets and wander around looking at arty things. I went solely for the girls. And there were lots of them, drunk and scantily clothed.


We walked into one bar that was very busy and noisy inside so we went out the back to the smoking section. This is when I saw her stood talking to her friend who wasn’t as hot. I walked straight over and delivered my normal Daygame opener for 2-sets; “I just saw you guys and you both look very nice tonight, so I thought I would come say hi”. Standard stuff. She hooked straight away, asking where I was from. Her friend was less enthusiastic. So I tried to get her involved by asking; “so how do you crazy girls know each other?”. Again standard stuff. Then she immediately asked if I was alone, I said no, and motioned to my friends to come in who were standing nearby.


We all chatted in a group for a while. Eventually her friend had to leave for some reason I don’t remember. I said “don’t worry I’ll look after your friend” and winked. She gave her friend (my target) a hug and kiss, I said “where’s mine?” and she rolled her eyes. As she was leaving I said “love you, hurry back” and she rolled her eyes again. So I lucked out and got her isolated completely by chance. My friends were still lurking around and after about 15mins of me chatting to her I eventually had to go over and tell my friends to go away so I could go for the kiss. They quickly left.

So I had her alone, built more comfort and decided I needed to bounce her somewhere more secluded so I could go for the kiss. We went inside but it was too busy, then we went back out to the street. Unfortunately she bumped into a group of her work colleagues at this point so I had to play he social guy for 20 mins. Eventually I said to her “let’s go somewhere else for one more drink”, I led, she followed. I found an empty bar with couches, ordered a couple of drinks, sat down and started the questions game. This got sexual pretty quickly and I just pulled her in and went  for the kiss. She didn’t resist. I then pushed her away and resumed the questions game. I asked where she lived and she told me she driving and its 15 minutes away. I say “let’s go back to mine first for a coffee” and she said no. She’d rather go to her place and that I could come with her. Jackpot! But then when we finished her drink and we went to leave, she said it was too late for me to come back as she had work in the morning. I took her number and said “another time then”.

The Day 2 

I text her the next morning to see when she was free. She had plans on Friday night but proposed meeting for lunch on Saturday. I never do dates during the day and I NEVER do food on a date. But I agreed as I’d already kissed her and I thought it was on. I asked her to come to a restaurant around the corner from my place. She arrived looking down to fuck, long heels, tight torn jeans and a loose top. We ate burgers and talked boring chit chat. I tried to spike it where I could but I felt out of my comfort zone during the day. She commented a few times about being too hot in her jeans, I then made a ballsy spike; “my place is just around the corner, let’s get you out of them” said with a cheeky smile… She blushed massively and then I went back into boring chit chat while we paid the bill which we split down the middle.

Leap of Faith

I went to the bathroom, told her not to look at my ass (thanks Tom Torero) when I got back I grabbed her hand and said let’s go for a walk. She asked where we were going and I said “Paris to see the Eifel Tower!” (Thanks Tom again!) and I carried on walking. I was laughing to myself as it was 30 degrees outside,  she was in long heels and I walked her up a steep hill to my place. When we got inside we sat in the lounge, it was hot in my place as it was the middle of the afternoon on a hot Summers day. I poured us both a glass of water and sat at the kitchen table with her for five minutes building more comfort. She then asked if I had a fan. I said sure, got up and went to set the fan up in the bedroom. I came back to the kitchen, grabbed her hand and said “the fan is in here” and walked her to the bedroom.
Pulling the Trigger 

I sat down on the bed beside her, she said this was too fast. I agreed then grabbed her around the chin pulled her in and kissed her. She was all over me at this point. Clothes came off and fucking happened. We lay there for half an hour afterwards and I interviewed. She told me she had only a handful of sexual partners before. Then it was time for round 2. I was pounding her so hard from behind that the fan stopped working (the plug socket had a dodgy connection), I carried on whilst pulling her hair and spanking her big ass. I told her “this is the best view I’ve seen in Cape Town” and she was in hysterics. Before long we were both sweating profusely, in a hot, sticky mess.

First time I’ve ever had an afternoon date and it didn’t go too badly 😉