A few weeks back Xants asked me if I fancied accompanying him for a long weekend in Belgrade, he had a hot long lead  he wished to pursue. I didn’t have much in the way of hot leads there myself, but I did have quite a few lukewarm ones, and, I do really like Belgrade. I carefully considered the pro’s and con’s of my good friends proposition for all of three seconds before confirming my attendance, I’m a nice guy, after all.
A week or so before the trip I started pinging said lukewarm leads and got radio silence from all but two. One was a hot little 17-year-old that I Instagram closed a month previous but never got out. The other was a cute little 22-year-old I’d been on FIVE dates with over a year ago but never got further than kissing, she wanted a boyfriend. I’d kept tabs on her over Instagram, since I left last year it looked like she’d gotten a serious boyfriend as she was kissing some chode in almost every picture. Then a couple of months ago the boyfriend did a Houdini and disappeared from all her stories and pictures. One evening she posted a picture of herself in a tight little black skirt, she looked fucking hot. So naturally, I sent her a drunken creative message “let’s get married”. A week later she replied “Where, when?” We got into a text exchange and I informed her of my impending return to Belgrade, we agreed to meet to discuss our marriage plans. So, I had one very weak lead whom I’d not even dated and one strong one, provided I married her…
Xants and I set off for Luton airport at around 04:30 on the Thursday morning and arrived at our usual apartment just behind Knez at around 1pm. Our place was still being cleaned so we took ourselves for a bit of brunch and fishing by Republic Square as we basked in the plus 30-degree heat.
I pinged the 17-year-old and she responded instantly, her face is obviously permanently glued to her phone as with most of the kids today, asking if we could meet at 2pm instead of that evening. There was a lot of back and forth over text, mainly due to her being a dappy 17-year-old. The upshot was that I wouldn’t get her out that day  – she’d had an argument with her parents because they bought her 13yr old sister a better phone than her and was consequently grounded. The 22-year-old was straight forward, mainly due to her not being dappy and/or 17, so I set up a date with her for the following evening, Friday.
This was my first time in Belgrade in August, and it will probably be the last – the heat was unbearable, and I was sweating profusely. There weren’t that many sets about, they were either hiding from the heat or away on holidays, most of the girls that were walking the streets were jailbait. So, on the Friday afternoon Xants and I parked ourselves at our favourite drinking establishment on Knez and proceeded to get tipsy. Eventually, the right honourable Nick Krauser joined us to regale us with tales of his latest adventures in Warsaw. He’d spoken at the 21 convention and done a few resi’s. After that we went for dinner at our favourite restaurant where a delicious steak and a few gallons of wine costs about 50p – we ate like kings.
As we polished off the last of the wine it was already 9pm and I was supposed to meet Vicky (the 22-year-old), she pinged asking where I was and I sent her my location on google maps telling her to meet me at the restaurant whilst I waited to pay the bill. A few minutes later Xants spotted a short brunette with a tidy little frame in blue hot pants and a tight white vest top that showed off her flat stomach walking quickly past our table. I could see he was about to get up and make chase…
“VICKY!!” I shouted over at her… Xants sat back down in his chair upon realising he was about to open my girl.
Vicky joined us at the table, I pulled her up a chair beside me and introduced her to the lads. Nick tried to make small talk with her as we waited for the bill, but I could see his Geordie accent had her thoroughly bamboozled, so I kindly translated…
“He said, DO YOU REMEMBER MEETING HIM LAST YEAR?!”
“Oh, yes, hahahaha, at the football” Said Vicky.
“aye” said Nick.
Luckily, we were saved by the bill moments later. I paid up and dragged Vicky off to the Irish pub which was right beside my apartment. My plan was to have one drink, catch up on what had happened in her life and take it from there. We quickly got through the comfort fluff over the first drink; she’d changed jobs and was finished her degree. Now she was working as an au pair for special needs kids. Then she started telling me that she had recently broken up with her boyfriend. I ordered another round of drinks.
It turned out that he was an asshole and her boyfriend before that was also an asshole, she was done with Serbian men. Vicky went on to explain that when I’d met her last year she had just broken up with her boyfriend and she wasn’t ready for anyone else.
“Hang on, haven’t you just broken up with another one?”
“Yes, but that was a few months ago” explained Vicky
“Aaaah, so you’re over him now?”
I quickly finished both our G&T’s…
“It’s hot and sticky out here, let’s go upstairs to my cool air-conditioned apartment!”
I took her upstairs, put some music on, poured the wine and within minutes she was naked on my couch. I picked all 48 kilograms of her up and carried her to the bedroom to finish the job, no LMR this year. The sex was amazing, Vicky had one of the best booties I’ve ever had the pleasure of spanking until it was red raw. She was an 8 . Vicky left soon after this as she had to be up early for work the next day. All of this without mention of our supposed marriage, however I wasn’t entirely joking about this.
We met the next evening and went for a drink. She asked me if I was serious about the marriage message. I explained to her that I was drunk when I sent it, but that didn’t mean I was joking.
“You do tick all the boxes; you’re young, you’re hot, you’re fun to be around and you would make a great mother” said me, all true.
“Thanks! There’s nothing I want more than to be a good mother. I think you would be the best dad”
We discussed the logistics of how it could work and agreed to keep in touch for another year or so. Vicky has a place near the top of my marriage list  and I told her so, she seemed happy about this and started asking about the other girls on it, I told her not to worry about that. After this we went back to the flat for round two and the sex was even better.
Later that evening I met Nick at a dodgy dive bar for a last beer before my flight the next morning. I told him all about my little list and how I didn’t want to daygame forever , but my biggest fear of settling down with just one girl was avoiding the temptation of chasing new skirt. Nick doesn’t chase the skirt as much these days and seems fairly content not doing so. Jimmy Jambone is another who seems to be in a happy relationship. Nick explained that it didn’t happen to him overnight, it was a gradual enthusiasm drip from 2015 onwards…
“You’ll get to a point when you’re just not arsed anymore, it might be before you hit your target , or it might come after. But it’s happened to me and it’s happened to Jimmy. You’ll know when you know and you will be able to sit around a table with other players who’ve left their mark on the community and say ‘yeah, I deserve to be at this table’”
“I hope you’re right” I said sceptically before guzzling down the last of my cheap Serbian lager.
So, there you have it kids, next time a girl is giving you the dreaded LMR, just tell em’ you’ll marry em’! It works 60% of the time, all the time.
 She stopped messaging him a couple of days before the trip and ghosted. It’s happened to me.
 I got her out a couple of days later, but it was only for an hour before she went off to meet friends. Back in the lukewarm long lead box she goes.
 Xants told me this the next day without me even asking what he thought.
 There are now 5, maybe 6 girls on this list. I still fully intend to hang the gloves up at then end of next year.
 This is not society telling me to do so, I want at least one little Roy.
 100 daygame notches. I’m already over 100 including pre-game and bar game lays.