There’s quite a bit to get through since my last lay report. I intended to write a post reviewing Warsaw, and another on my brief time back in London. But I never got around to that. In brief, Warsaw was great, (I finished up with an open to lay ratio of 1 in 24 the full stats are here ), I banged a few birds, met a few sound lads, a girl I really liked and didn’t bang (I turned down the opportunity on my last night) and generally had a blast. The return to London was bleak, I did 12 sets in just under two weeks and nearly banged a hot Turkish girl the night before I left, hopefully I’ll see her when I get back. The daygame in London was terrible in contrast to Warsaw and now especially compared to Moscow.
I’ve been here just under two weeks now and it’s going pretty well. On Saturday night I got my third notch of the trip. The first was a cute little mousey girl I pulled from a bar on my first night out. The second was a girl in her late twenties on the second date , and the third is the main subject of this post. In stark contrast to the previous girl, there is plenty to write about this one…
It was a warm Friday afternoon and I was patrolling Kamergirsky with Nick and a stinking hangover from the previous night’s exertions. I’d almost SDL’d a cute little brunette only for it to all fizzle out when I got her back to a flat with no bounce back booze – schoolboy error. Hopefully, I will finish that story another day. My intent was incredibly low all day. This girl ended up being my only set of the day consequently. She was wearing high heels, a grey mini-skirt, and a green leather jacket. She had long dirty blonde hair with a big fringe. I’d actually saw her earlier in the day and weaselled it when she walked into a shop. Then as we were walking down the hill Nick pointed her out “there’s that slapper again”. She did look a bit slapperish, but I will not turn down any slappers between now and the big 100.
I shuffled along with all the enthusiasm I could muster, got in front and she stopped dead in her tracks. I got through all the usual pre-amble and found out that Lucy was Ukrainian, was a “model”, and had been living in Moscow for a few years. She was about the same height as me, had big fake lips, crazy eyes with red dots in the middle of them and a very strange demeanour. Lucy told me she had just returned from a shoot in Thailand…
“Oh, so where is your suntan?” I enquired.
“I don’t like tan, I don’t like brown skin, I’m a little bit racist” Said Lucy.
“I admire your honesty… so are you wearing contacts? You have red eyes” Said me.
“No, it’s my sickness” Said Lucy.
“oh, uhm, ok” I didn’t press the matter.
I tried to idate her, but Lucy told me she was going for some food with a friend, so I told her I’d take her for a drink when she was finished. She seemed keen, but only gave me her Instagram. She only had 16 followers and followed 1 person. I enquired why and she told me that she had to set up a new account as the last one got too much for her. Again, I didn’t press the matter.
I pinged her later that evening and she didn’t respond til around 2am when I was already on my way home. We set up a date for 7pm the next day. Saturday.
I pinged her during the day and she didn’t respond and hadn’t been online all day. Fuck. I went to the meeting point just in case (it was right outside my apartment), but she didn’t show. At 7.30 she messaged saying she was feeling lazy and that it was far to come. What a bitch! I said “thanks for letting me know” and went out to daygame thinking that it was dead.
Then when I was ordering a coffee, she video called me. I answered. Lucy started quizzing me more on why I had come to Moscow and told me that I was very brave to approach her like that. Russian men didn’t do that. It was back on. Lucy told me she wanted to come, but she didn’t want to get the metro, I told her to get a cab. She then implied that I should get her a cab. I asked where she lived so that I could check how much it would cost (so low value!!). Then she told me she would get her own cab, she just wanted to see how I would respond. Strange girl.
Hours later I hadn’t heard from her, so I joined Nick for a pint and basically gave up on the date, Lucy didn’t arrive in the centre until almost 10pm and went straight to an expensive restaurant and asked me to come meet her there. I sent her the location of the bar I was in with the following caption “Lucy, you have messed me around all evening, if you want to see me, come here”. Eventually (after getting lost a few times) she found me at around 10.30pm.
I introduced her to Nick before taking her inside, we sat on stools at the bar and Lucy wasted no time in getting down to the nitty gritty.
“I’m sorry I’m so late, I live very far, and the traffic was very bad and I get lost very easily”
“Well that’s quite obvious”
“Ok, about me. I’m 19, I’m a Victoria’s secret model , I’ve had 10 plastic surgeries, I don’t like brown people, I love taking drugs and I love to travel”
“There’s quite a lot to unpack there” Said me.
Lucy was a very strange girl indeed. I asked her to show me some of her modelling pictures, but she didn’t have any as she just got a new phone. To say I was suspicious would be an understatement.
“OK, so what operations have you had done?”
“My lips, my boobs, my nose, my cheekbones, my hair and I’ve had lipo-suction several times”
“All this by the ripe old age of 19?!”
“Yes, I’ve been modelling since I was 13, this is my job, so I want to look the best”
“But why lipo-suction? what’s wrong with diet and exercise?”
“It’s too slow!!”
“OK, and why do you dislike brown people so much?”
“They’re stupid and ugly, I hate them!”
I told Lucy about my time in Africa and how I was particularly good friends with a lot of intelligent and attractive “brown people”. She told me that I was crazy. YES. ME. THE CRAZY ONE.
We finished the drink and I told Lucy that we should go to another place. She agreed. We walked down the stairs and Nick was still there and had been joined by Seven. I introduced Lucy to Seven and she just stared at him not saying anything. I said my goodbyes to the boys and walked her to the metro, Lucy complained “I can’t believe you’re taking me on the metro! I’ve never been on the metro”
“Wait haven’t you lived here for years?”
“Yes, but the metro is for peasants!”
“Well, I am a peasant”
“I don’t like your Asian friend, he’s brown and has no eyes” announced Lucy.
“He’s actually French”
Smoke started to come out of Lucy’s ears as her brain strained to comprehend what I had just said.
“Yes, and he’s one of the smartest people I know, and the ladies quite like him”
I took Lucy to a couple of cocktail bars near my apartment before taking her home and banging her. There was no LMR, it was easy.
I took her for breakfast the next morning and she gave me some advice.
“Roy, please be careful in the future and watch out for brown people, they are evil”
“Thanks for the advice, you do recall that I’m old enough to be your dad, right?”
“haha yes, but just be careful, you are a nice guy and I feel like I am missing you already”.
Lucy would fly out to Greece the next day for a “shoot” and wouldn’t return to Moscow until after I will have left. I still don’t believe she’s a Victorias secret model, what’s more likely is that she is some sort of cam girl or lifestyle whore.
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 I may write a proper post on her, but not much happened of note. She is now really clingy over text and I’ve had to ghost her.
 I have checked online and can’t find her anywhere