She was actually very similar to this, just a bit shorter.

I have been in Warsaw for a month now [1] taking advantage of the ability to work remotely. While it ain’t exactly pussy paradise, it is a lot better than London was a month ago [2]. The streets are bustling, the girls are pretty, the weather is nice, and the food and beer are cheap.

Over the past month I have done 60 sets, closing 25 of them, dating 8 and banging 1 (2 including this one). All the rest either flaked straight away or on the date request. One pattern that I noticed, was that I was not having ANY luck with the Polish women. They’d reply most of the time but getting them out was harder than my penis after a few days on Cialis [3]. It was becoming evident that the only way I was going to bang one of em’ was to negate the texting part, so that’s what I did…

It was around 4pm on another sunny Sunday afternoon, and I was sitting having another alcoholic beverage, beer this time, on Nowy Swiat with Nick and some of the resident gamers. I’d done one set so far that day and I wasn’t feeling very motivated to approach, I was happy with my lot, life was good. Most of the guys had got up to leave and just Mr M and I remained. He was telling me that he was going home soon, so with this in mind I was getting mentally prepared to hit the streets.

I spotted a short bronze looking girl with long brown hair down past her bum, a tight black boob tube and denim short shorts walking extremely fast on the other side of the road, she looked like a little Tasmanian devil…

“Look at that wee slapper racing down the street” said me.

“She looks nice, go for it mate, I’m gonna head off now anyway” said Mr M.

I needed no further encouragement, up I got and made chase.

I got in front of her directly outside the Ukrainian wine bar (the same place where the Belarusian opened me in the previous report). I can’t quite remember what I said, it was probably something about her not looking typically Polish with her ridiculously tanned skin and the hair down past her bum. I could see that she was getting nervous as quite a few heads that were drinking in the wine bar turned in our direction. I asked her where she was running to, just towards the Old town, said her. It turned out that she wasn’t in a hurry, she was just a really, really fast walker. I walked with her, shock, horror! Not because I’m a chode, but because I could see the spotlight effect was spoiling the set for her.

As we walked and talked, I found out that she was on the last few days of her Summer vacation and was looking to have some “fun”. DING, DING-A-LING went the SDL bells in my head.

Marina had a great vibe about her, she was an infectious little ball of energy. She was about 5’4” and was into her sports. She had a thicker frame than I’d usually go for, but there wasn’t much fat on her, she was short and toned, but there was something very sexy about her. I decided quite early on that I definitely wanted to bang her.

We walked to the Old town and I told her “It would be sacrilege to meet an Irish man and not go to an Irish bar with him.” She agreed, so we went upstairs to the Irish bar and drank some Guinness.

After this I walked us back in the direction of the Ukrainian bar, which also happened to be a lot closer to my flat. We stood outside with our drinks and I realised out of the corner of my eye, that the Belarusian was at the table behind us with another guy and was looking directly in our direction. “What a little whore!” thought me, before realising that she was probably having similar thoughts about me. I was sure that she was going to confront me and ruin the set, she was a loose cannon. But she didn’t. I saw her walking off arm in arm with the guy a few minutes later. Phew!

Not much else exciting happened after this, I took Marina to a whiskey bar to escalate on a couch and she was kissing me quickly. Soon after this I bounced her to the flat and after lots of indecisiveness on her part, I finally banged her at around 3am.

I walked her to the train station the next morning so that I could get back and start working. I didn’t expect to hear from her again, but a few hours later I got some very distressed messages from her, she was certain that she was pregnant. I reminded her that I used THREE condoms and never put my bare little penis in her vagina once. But she still wasn’t convinced. Long story short, I had to send her some money so that she could go and get the morning after pill. What a palaver, and with that she ruined any slim chance of me contacting her again.

[1] Except for 3 days when I had to go back to London for work.

[2] Although I have heard reports that it’s getting better. I mean, even me old mate Xants got laid from a recent daygame set!

[3] I have actually started taking Cialis, and I have been walking around with boners ALL day.

2 thoughts on “Lay Report: SDL in Poland

  1. Pretty sure I’ve read doubling condoms increases the chance of ’em breaking, as they rub against each other.
    Unless it’s like negatives… -1 x -1 = +1 but – 1 ^3 = -1 Lool


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