She doesn’t look anything like this girl. But the flag is correct.

I’m having a weekend off from daygame, so hopefully I can get through the backlog of lay reports. Only two to go after this one!..

The last Thursday of June was my final evening in my Marylebone apartment. I had no dates lined up for the evening, so I decided to go out and hunt for one last notch [1]. I got home from work, took a shower and got my daygame threads on before taking a stroll down Marylebone high street in the direction of Oxford street. As I got to the bottom of the street, I saw a short little brunette walking towards me with ridiculously big pointy sunglasses on her face. She stopped on the corner of the street to look at her phone, then up at the street signs, then rotated on the spot whilst looking back at her phone. She was clearly trying to find something.

As I got closer, I examined her form in more detail. She had big hips and a small waist, her legs were thick, not fat, she had a flat stomach and a very cute face. She had a rocker look about her with a black leather jacket, a t-shirt of some band and black leggings. She was a solid 7 and definitely worth having a chat…

“Excuuuuuse me, I can see that you’re clearly lost, but I had to say… you look really cute, like a cross between Olivia Newton-John and… Elton John” I was quite proud of my creativity.

“Bahahahaha, who are they?” said Elena – what a waste.

“Never mind, so what are you looking for?”

“I’m looking for a boxing gym!”

Turned out that Elena was from Argentina (NEW FLAG), had arrived in London a month ago and was now looking to join a boxing gym. She was 24, had dropped out of her mechanical engineering degree in her final year as it was too difficult and had chosen London as a temporary base whilst she improved her English before becoming an air hostess. I told her some stuff about me before going for the number, she would only give me her Instagram as she said she didn’t have whatsapp.

The texting was straight forward and after some back and forth we agreed to meet the following Wednesday…

We arrnaged to meet at 7.30pm at Tottenham Court Road station. I had just moved apartments the previous Friday and this would be my first proper date [2] since moving. As it turned out, my flat mate had a date lined up at the same meeting point and time. We both stood there waiting for our girls, Mr. S was telling me how he couldn’t remember what his looked like, it was dark when he opened her – I laughed at him and reasoned “Surely she must have been hot if you opened her”… “I fuckin’ hope so, I tink a might just bin her off after one drink if she’s mingin’” – Sound logic.

His arrived first and he was relieved to see that she was indeed pretty. Mine arrived shortly afterwards looking nice and slutty – she wore black heeled boots, torn black tights, a short black leather skirt, a tight white t-shirt and the same black leather jacket. She’d put a bit more make-up on and had done her hair – she looked very bangable indeed.

I walked us towards Fitzrovia to find that all the bars were packed full of office folk having post work pints in the glorious London sunshine. Eventually we found a pub quite close to my apartment with a table outside. I told Elena to grab the table whilst I got the drinks in. We ploughed through the comfort fluff as we sipped on our beers and puffed on cigarettes. Elena was very bubbly, giggling at almost everything I said. I enjoyed laughing at her when she spoke broken English and she would thank me for correcting her. She opened up on her hopes and dreams, telling me that she regretted dropping out of university and how she wished she had some proper qualifications. Her bar job didn’t pay well, and she was struggling to get a job as an air hostess… I empathised before offering some solutions;

“Have you considered becoming a stripper or a prostitute? I think you’d do well”

“AHAHAHA – NO!” giggled Elena, as she punched me on the arm. From previous experience, if a girl punches me on the arm, I’m 99% certain that I will bang her.

We got a second drink at the same venue as it was still nice outside even though it was pushing 9pm. I asked Elena what time she had to be up in the morning.

“I have be at work in 8am, so I need to wake early, I hate early.”

“Ah so you need to go home soon?”


BALLS. I now had to decide whether to push fast for the first date lay or delay it to a second date. I chose the former, obviously. I drank my pint in about five minutes as well as most of her half pint and announced that we were going for a walk.

“Where to?”

“Disney land”

“haha, Ok, I love Disney”

I walked her straight to my front door.

“Oh, would you look at that, I live here, want to come up for a glass of wine before you go home?”

“Just wine?”

“And good company of course, I might even play you a song on my guitar, or show you my roof top view of London” [3]


At this point I still hadn’t even kissed her, but she was accepting my touch throughout the date. I showed her the flat, poured the wine into water glasses (we still don’t have wine glasses in the new place) and went straight to the bedroom. I stuck on spotify and she found a playlist full of Argentinian music – it was god awful, but I was willing to lose the battle to win the war. Not long afterwards I went for the kiss and that was it for her. She moaned as I kissed her and started rubbing my cock over the top of my jeans and tugging at my belt to try and remove it. The clothes quickly came off and I took great pleasure in spanking her big round booty [4] as I banged her from all angles. Not long afterwards Elena jumped in an Uber and Mr S. and I debriefed each other in the kitchen, he’d also banged his girl. We both got our first lay on the same night in the new apartment and we also both got new lays on the last night of the old apartment. Isn’t that something.

[1] I got one, but it wasn’t with this girl, that will be my next lay report

[2] I had a Sunday afternoon date with a crazy Thai bird that l I bounced back, but it didn’t go anywhere

[3] None of this happened.

[4] Mr. S did not enjoy the sound of this so much. He was trying to sleep in his bedroom on the other side of the wall… “Jesus Roy, what’s with all the spanking?! Can you calm down on that a bit next time, it was keeping me up!” he told me later on.

2 thoughts on “Lay Report: My First Argentinian

  1. You should put a trigger warning on these Lay Reports … Argentina was the first country I ever visited … and it was also the flag of the hardest set I ever did (and didn’t lay) … she just kept trying to get around me and stopped her about five times … number close … painful texting … and then vanished.



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