Kinda like this except with a flat chest.

This is a rather short story about a long story… a lot of effort was expended on my part and it ended in a huge anti-climax…

Lets rewind to April this year. It was the start of daygame season and Belgrade was my first destination of the year (summarised here). It was a hot day and Xants and I had decided to go for a walk down towards the University area, one of our favourite hunting grounds. As I briefly mentioned here, I wasn’t going to do it, my calibration told me it was a bad set. She was dressed very formally, was stony faced and looked like she was in a hurry. “Just do it, trust me” – said Xants.

In I went and my calibration couldn’t have been further off. She was lovely, smiling instantly and cooing at almost everything I said. Sonja was very typically Serbian, my height, slim with dark skin, brunette hair, brown eyes and long legs, very greyhoundy. A high 7. She was dressed in formal business attire which made her look older than her 22 years. I found out she worked part-time at a law firm whilst doing her law degree and told me about her plans to do her erasmus year in London or Barcelona, she hadn’t decided which yet. Sonja was full of energy telling me that she had a passion for martial arts, reading and politics all of which gave her a very strong frame. I took her number and never got her out that trip as she was always busy.

I went back to Belgrade in May and got her out. It was only a coffee date and I never really escalated, she was trying her hardest to friend zone me, even introducing me to her brother at the end of the date and telling me I should come to her family home for dinner and meet her parents. It all felt very weird. I declined and tried to get her out for a glass of wine before I left but it never materialised. I assumed the lead was dead.

Fast forward to August and she pinged me out of the blue “Roy – I’m moving to London!! :D”. She moved to London mid-September and I thought “happy days, I’ll add her to my Winter harem”. I had a grand plan going into Winter, I’d have 3 regulars each with different qualities that I liked to prove to myself that I could hang out with girls – that plan failed spectacularly. I had a Bulgarian, a Brazilian and now a Serb. I kept the Bulgarian on for about a month before she got a boyfriend, I went on four dates with the Brazilian getting her back to the flat each time but she would always tell me “not tonight” and the Serb was proving equally difficult.

We went on 5 or 6 dates (I’ve lost count), some coffee dates, some drinks and I even took her to an expensive restaurant and didn’t get the lay. She was frustrating, I would go through periods of ignoring her messages as I was sure she was just tooling me for attention. Then the other day she messaged me saying “when are you taking me for coffee?” It was like she was using my own game against me.

I was supposed to be home in Ireland this weekend but my flight was cancelled so I had a free weekend in London. I told her we could meet Saturday afternoon at 1pm. We met at Bond Street station and went to a really good coffee shop called Flowcafe, got takeaway coffees and walked around the back streets. I walked her in the general direction of my apartment to another coffee shop. After another coffee I walked us to a shop where I bought a bottle of wine, it was now around 3pm.

Wine so early in the day, really? – Sonja offered up some futile resistance.

Come on, it’s Christmas!

My powers of persuasion proved too great and back she came for some wine. I got her into my room, dimmed the lights and soon the clothes were off and we had some pretty timid sex. I almost felt cheated, I’d invested so much time into this girl and the sex was boring at best. Is there and ideal investment/reward ratio which I had gotten very wrong with this girl? Had I become numb to banging hot girls? Or was I just “hollowed out”?

We got dressed and I told her I was going to the pub to watch the football, United were playing at 5.30pm. I thought this would scare her off but she asked if she could join and so we ended up spending the rest of the evening together and I even let her stay over. Over the course of the evening Sonja told me that I was the first non-Serbian guy that she’d had sex with and was her 6th ever partner.

I couldn’t wait to say goodbye to her the next morning but she took forever getting showered and doing her make-up. I helped pack up all her things and usher her out the door. I was a gentleman as ever and walked her back to the tube and the relief was huge when I eventually said goodbye to her – I’m clearly still terrible at hanging out with girls.



4 thoughts on “Lay Report: Another Serb

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