I’ve been in Manchester for some weeks now and have opened 20 sets spread across 7 sessions, those numbers alone should tell you what I think of the quality here. I banged one of those 20 girls last night and it was relatively easy. Here’s the story…
I was walking down Market Street with the Cheshire Cat Sunday past. We had just met up and were doing our first lap of Manchester’s only decent strip for daygame. I was nursing a hangover from the previous evenings shenanigans but rather than feel lethargic and sorry for myself, I was EXTRA horny.
Cheshire was chortling on about something in my ear before he completely changed tack and said something along the lines of “Look at the legs on that thing over there!”
I glanced in that direction and saw a little brown girl with short black hair, a nose piercing, a blue denim jacket, a black t-shirt with a deep V showing off quite an impressive cleavage, bright yellow short shorts (it was around 12 degrees) and black booted high heels. I instantly decided “ratbag – would bang” and made chase to begin my first set of the day.
I found out she was Indian, here to study a masters in Physics, had been here 6 months and was in a hurry to meet some girlfriends for brunch. I quickly told her my situation to bed it down before taking her number. She was a high 6 at best but I really wanted to bang her. The set lasted a little over a minute but I knew it was solid as I walked back to CC.
I text her later that evening and set up a date for the following Wednesday, the meeting point would be the Central Library at 7pm.
We both arrived on time, except she went to a completely different library. She apologised and made her way to me around 20 minutes later. She showed up looking more conservative than when I met her in tight jeans, the same black t-shirt, a puffy hooded jacket and had a backpack on her back.
Oh, have you come straight from the library? I asked.
No, I am going to the library after this, I can only stay for one drink
I have a huge deadline coming up and I haven’t done any studying today
WHAT THE FUCK?! I concealed my rage and walked us to the nearest pub. It was strangely very busy for a Wednesday night and she struggled to find us seats as I got the drinks in. We sat on stools opposite each other perched on the end of another groups long table.
We went through the comfort fluff, I found out she was 23 and liked going clubbing on the weekends. She loved animals and challenged me with;
What do you think of hunting and killing animals in general? I will judge you on this
I gave her a look as if to say “Really?”. My mind again turned to an infamous quote from a good friend of Ricky Roma and Mr White ;
You’re not hot enough to be this difficult!
I went into quite a long monologue along the lines of;
I’ve never been hunting, but I don’t have anything against it, we’re all animals and we all die some way or another… But I’m not into foxes, or dear, I’d imagine the meat is too tough. There’s nothing I love more than a big juicy steak, a fillet or a ribeye are my favourites, especially the grass fed ones, you know the Tesco finest ones? I’m sure those cows lived in a nice environment, ate the best grass and mooed to their big cow hearts were content before being electrocuted to death humanely.
I could almost see steam coming out of her ears.
I can’t believe you, I love animals and hate hunting, I even went to a protest the other day
She started showing me pictures on her phone of her with a placard saying “Say no to hunting.”
I admire your passion. Said me before quickly changing the subject.
She kept looking at her phone on the table throughout the first venue which was beginning to piss me off.
Do you always play on your phone when you meet a man for a date?
Oh no, sorry, it’s just my friend who I’m meeting after this at the library, she keeps messaging me
Tell her you’re busy and you’ll text her later.
She put her phone away. We left the venue and I walked us in the direction of another bar nearby. We sat on a couch beside each other and she got the drinks in.
I can’t quite remember how it happened but as I sat there in silence looking around the venue, she asked me;
What’s wrong with you? Why do you look so grumpy?
I took a big sip of my beer…
Nothing, I’m going to go home after this beer, I have work in the morning
I’ve been on lots of great dates and this is going to go down as the worst one
Ok, well if you really want to know. I think you should have told me before we met that you were going to the library after. In fact, you should have cancelled and met me another time.
Well, I thought I could meet you for an hour and maybe meet you again another time. What’s the issue?
I had assumed in my head that I was going to bang her on the first date, I wasn’t in the mood for all these obstacles and I really couldn’t be arsed with them. I decided I should at least try and resuscitate this terminal date. I started poking her and asking her if she was ticklish. She started pushing me back and soon we were both giggling. I grabbed her chin and pulled her in for the kiss and she was all in.
I don’t live far from here, let’s go back to my place for a night cap then I’ll put you in an uber to the library.
She thought about it for a few seconds before agreeing. I pulled out my phone, ordered the uber and we were on the way back to my place.
I gave her a brief tour of the flat and moments later our clothes were off and she was screaming like a banshee as I banged her doggy style. I asked her when she decided she wanted to have sex with me and she said when I kissed her in the second bar, the tension between us turned her on. Soon after this I ordered her an uber home, she never made it to the library.
There you go kids, if a bird is annoying you, act grumpy, tell her what she’s done to annoy you, tickle her, kiss her, take her home and then bang her. I’m sure all the top PUA’s will agree.