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Spank the monkey every two days or you will turn into one.

Mary came around to my place for dinner on Saturday evening. I’d been out drinking heavily on Friday night with Steve attempting night game, it wasn’t as successful as the previous week and I was paying for my excesses all day Saturday.

She messaged me one hour before she was due to come over saying that she wanted to drive and would be going home early. I immediately downgraded my odds of getting the notch from bang on to slim to none, I was close to telling her not to bother coming as I was feeling quite rough.

She parked up at my place just before 18:30 and I greeted her as she got out of her car. She’d made quite the effort, this time in a purple dress which showed off her long legs again and some very nice black stiletto style high heels. “How the hell did you drive in those?” was my opener. “Practice” retorted Mary with a smile. We walked to my local supermarket. I picked up an old el paso fajita kit, some chicken to cook and the cheapest bottle of red wine. No expense spared.

There’s a cute girl at the check-out desk that talks to me every day, I always assumed she was just very friendly. As I went to pay with Mary in tow the check-out girl said “aaah, so you’re having a fajita night in, that’s nice”. As we departed the store Mary said to me “are you aware that the check-out girl has the hots for you?” Maybe she’s not just very friendly then.

I gave Mary a brief tour of the apartment before telling her to take off her high heels. She sat down at the dinner table and I poured us both a glass of the fancy wine before beginning the complex process of putting the pre-diced chicken in a frying pan and adding the contents of the fajita kit. Mary told me about her week and I told her about mine. It all felt very nice, like what normal people do that have dates and relationships and stuff.

I plated up the food and we had some interesting conversation, one particular point she made sticks out in memory;

Did you know that you should masturbate every two days?

What?! – as I almost choked on my chicken

Yeah, if you leave it any longer than that, it turns into proteins that are harmful and can make you crazy. Lot’s of Lebanese boys are like this, they abstain from masturbating and they’re all weird.

I never believed in that no fap stuff anyway. The topic of conversation soon returned to whether I would be extending my stay in Melbourne. Again I told her that I wouldn’t be staying but there was a slim chance I may have to return in the future. She gave me the puppy dog disappointed face. I quickly changed the subject by grabbing my guitar, sitting on the couch and starting my chick crack medley. She rushed over to sit beside me and said “wooooow, you’re really good!” I’m not. She pawed at my arm as I played and practically mounted me as I strummed away. I put the guitar down and she mounted me properly. We kissed very passionately as I grabbed her juicy ass. The balcony door was open and there was a rowdy group of drunk Aussy girls on the balcony opposite cheering us on. I pushed Mary off me and got up to close the balcony door and lower the blinds.  The drunken aussies booed in disapproval before I returned to the couch saying “as you were” to Mary.

We fooled around for 20 minutes or so before she announced;

Roy, I’m still on my period

Still?! It’s been a full week

Yeah, it’s lasting longer than normal.

She wasn’t lying as I could see a little white patch through her lacy red underwear. I took her to the bedroom anyway, we kissed a lot, she was kind enough to finish me off with her mouth. She wasn’t very good at BJ’s and I had to give her little bit of advice, her low notch count was showing. After this she gave me an amazing face massage as she lay on top of me naked.

Normally people pay a lot of money for this massage… and I normally have clothes on.

It must be my lucky day

We put our clothes back on before returning to the couch and cuddling.

If you weren’t leaving, would you keep me around?

Mary was getting attached and I hadn’t even banged her. Honesty is always the best policy in these situations…

As I’ve told you I’m not looking for a relationship, but yeah, I like you, you’re a very nice girl. You’re the type of girl I’d gladly take home to meet my parents or take down the pub to show off to my friends.

She is that type of girl and I would keep her on as a regular if I was staying in Melbourne. Mary is not what I imagine a typical Australian girl to be like. Yes she obviously has the Aussy accent, but she’s incredibly feminine, very sweet and very sensual in the bedroom.

It was now pushing 10pm, Mary reminded me that she had to be up early so I walked her back to her car. I know, I’m SUCH a chode. I asked if her if she was ok to drive and she told me that she’d only had two sips of wine, I didn’t even notice. One of these days I’ll get that sober notch.

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2 thoughts on “D3 Date Report: K girl is getting attached

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