I finally converted the near miss from my last post to a lay and with it I captured the Indian flag as well as bagging my first daygame lay in Australia. It took a lot of patience and I broke almost all of my usual “rules” when it comes to dating…

I’ve already had two dates with this girl and I had established that she is K-selected but willing to experiment. I’d already taken her further and faster than she’d ever been with anyone before but her forebrain stopped her on both occasions. My strategy going forward was not to rush it, neither of us were in a hurry as we both lived in the city and shock horror, I actually liked hanging out with her, a girl!

D4 – Sunday 19 November

I went into the city centre to do some daygame, the quality was terrible (as usual) and I ended up going shopping instead. As I was doing so she texted me asking what I was up to. We met for dinner and then went back to my place together. We played around and again there was no sex.

She confessed that she was actually married to her one and only boyfriend and only came to Australia to get away from her friends and family whilst the divorce went through. She also told me that he was the only person she had sex with and the last time was over TWO YEARS ago.

D5 – Monday 27 November

She texted me during the day asking what I was up to that evening. I told her I had a rock n’ roll evening lined up doing laundry and meal prepping for the week. She joined and helped me with my laundry and the cooking.

Again we messed around, she was extra horny this time moaning every time I as much as touched her shoulder. I took her into the bedroom thinking that this was definitely a notch. She pushed me off telling me that she was on her period, this explained her extra horniness. I wasn’t hiding my frustration by this point and she picked up on this promising that there would be no excuses next time. We agreed to meet the following Saturday and that she would cook for me.

D6 – Saturday 2 December

It was a horrible weekend in Melbourne with 3 days of almost constant torrential rain. She text me during the day with a long apologetic message something along the lines of “I’m really sorry but my almost perfect cycle has been haywire this month and I still have my period. I understand if you don’t want to see me tonight”. FUCK.

I didn’t have any plans so I agreed to let her come round and cook for me anyway. She’s a vegetarian so she cooked me a veggie curry thing, it was nice but I made some meat separately and added it to the curry. This obviously made it taste 100 times better and I enjoyed telling her this. She called me a dick, which I noticed she was saying more and more often. This is good. Before she left I told her that I had a surprise for her and to keep Monday night free… It would be an adventure date.

D7 – Monday 4 December

I had bought two tickets to see Milo Yiannopolous in Melbourne a month or so previously and it was now the night of the show. I didn’t have anyone in mind to take along with me when I bought them, I just knew that I wanted to go. My girl had been texting me all day trying to figure out where I was taking her and asking what she should wear. I decided that it probably wasn’t fair to take her here without some prior knowledge. I sent her a link to a video of Milo ripping a local Australian Muslim feminist to shreds and she responded with hilarious laughter. She was in.

As we arrived at the venue there were rows and rows of police stood in a line blocking the entrance. I turned to my girl and I could see the fear on her face “is this safe?!” I told her we would be fine, showed our tickets to the police and they made a gap in the line for us to pass through. There were about a hundred protesters waving banners and shouting obscenities trying to get reactions out of anyone attending the show. My girl was scared, she got on the inside of me and pulled herself in to try and hide from the friendly lefties. A short overweight hipster girl (presumably lesbian) screamed at her “how can you participate in this misogyny?!”


Having not been really sure what to expect, my girl thoroughly enjoyed the show. We got some food afterwards and headed back to mine. On the way back she informed me that she was STILL on her period. I told her I didn’t believe her but I didn’t make a big fuss about it. She promised again that we would do the deed next time.

D8 – Friday 6 December

I worked late and met her at around 9pm in the city centre. She turned up looking her most promiscuous yet, in a black dress and heels and had put on more make-up than usual. Would this finally be the night?!

We went for dinner and I made sure not to mention her period or sex throughout the evening. We were chatting about our respective weeks at dinner when I announced that I bought a condom, her face dropped and she couldn’t look at me. I pulled out my phone and said “look, do you like it?” I’d bought a new cover for my phone, she packed up laughing and playfully punched me saying “you are SUCH a dick!”

We got a cab back to mine and as soon as we got into the flat the clothes were off and we were in the bedroom. It took a long time before she would let me get my dick anywhere near her vagina, she insisted on more kissing and foreplay. We must have been doing this for about an hour before I lost my patience, slapped some lube on my dick and pushed it in. She screamed loudly, it was easily the tightest vagina I’d ever experienced and I have banged virgins who were a lot younger than her. I let it sit there for a few seconds and told her to relax. I got a couple of thrusts in before she pushed me off whilst screaming in pain. I reckon I was in there for 10 seconds max.

We fooled around a bit more but she kept pushing me away every time I tried to make a re-entry. Eventually I got bored and I even told her this. I gave up at around 2am and went to the bathroom. I wasn’t sure if this qualified as a notch but my twitter followers unanimously agreed that it was. We fell asleep at around 3am and I made us eggs the following morning as she sat on the couch.


You might ask if this was all worth the effort. Obviously, it wasn’t and if I was on a Euro Jaunt I would have had one date with her and given up. But I’m not on a Euro Jaunt so I’ll probably see this girl more and the sex will get better. I don’t mind having a MLTR with a girl I enjoy spending time with whilst doing the odd spot of daygame for the remainder of my time in Melbourne, there isn’t exactly a lot to shoot at out on the streets.

Key Learning Points

  • Do what you want to do and let her tag along if she wants to.
  • Keep the frame – K selected girls normally want a lot of dates before they give up the V. This does not mean that you have to agree to be in an exclusive relationship with them. I made sure she knew that I would be a bad long term prospect by making fun of any future projections she did, reminding her that I was only here for a few more months, calling her names (playfully), pushing her around (playfully) and implying (but not explicitly telling her) that there were other girls around – even though there aren’t.
  • I highly recommend taking a girl to a right wing event with lots of leftie protesters – maybe not if she’s a feminist.


8 thoughts on “Lay Report: Victory for the Tortoise

  1. If that happened to me I’d be fuming. I get the two thrusts equals notch rule, but it’s like the most pyrrhic of pyrrhic victories. You’ve moved her faster than she’s been moved before, but do you think she’s following the only template she knows of “weaponise sex”? (subsconsciously)


  2. Hey Roy, I’ve lived over a year in Melbourne, I worked part-time for the Council and got to know the city very well. There are a few pick-up hotspots in the city. My best overall advice would be to gather around the backpacking community, there you have the best chance of meeting European girls in a full-on no-strings-attached mindset.
    But first, STAY AWAY FROM THE CBD. As you may have noted, the percentage of Asians is unbelievable, there’s loads of police on the hunt for cheap fines and generally a bad vibe. The good side of Melbourne is all about the little local communities.
    Particularly good areas are:
    1) “Lentils As Anything” at Abbotsford Convent. It is a nice restaurant with a chilled atmosphere. The Convent has an amazing garden, I used to sit there the whole afternoon working on my laptop and got the chance to talk to loads of hot girls flocking there from all over the city. The place is well served by public transport (I think buses 202 and 212 will take you right there, but check beforehand);
    2) Lygon Street at lunch time or on a Friday night. That’s the heart of the Italian community, and it’s very common to spot Italian hot chicks working there as waitresses or coming there for meals because they live around the block. Loads of pedestrian traffic as well. The borough of Carlton is very close to Melbourne University so you can find loads of students living around there. On a Friday night everywhere is packed, and the place is dotted with houseparties;
    3) “Vineyard Bar” in St. Kilda, especially on Monday, which is Steak Night, and Fridays. Loads of girls in bikini stopping there for a last drink on the way home from the beach. It’s very close to a couple of hostels so you get a lot of European girls there. A game-savvy friend of mine used to work there as a bartender and no jokes, I lived with him around the block for a week and saw him pulling home 4 chicks in 5 days;
    4) All the vertical streets of Fitzroy on a Friday night, and especially the Black Cat Cafè.
    5) The bar right downstairs at Nomads All Nations Hostel in Spencer Street. Easy nightgame there. Good logistics because of the hostel right upstairs and the tram stop right in front (lines to St. Kilda Beach). For some reason, it’s particularly popular among Nordic people;
    Hope that helps!


  3. P.S. Also check for Queen Victoria market for daygamee and try going there on Wednesday nights (the whole market turns into a street food party and there are loads of good local bands playing). Also check for the numerous food festivals in Fitzroy, especially the Spanish and the Polish Food Festivals.


  4. Roy,
    Was wondering if you could shed some light on how London compares to Melbourne/Australia in general for daygame? I was very underwhelmed with London and have since moved, but I’m not sure I gave it a far shake (I focused primarily on oxford street, convent garden, Leicester square, Trafalgar square was under construction).


    1. Chalk and cheese mate. Or cheese and chalk in the order you’ve put it. It takes a while to find a set in London lately, but it is country miles better than Melbourne. More variety and more sets in London. As I said I’m my Melbourne post, it’s full of Asians and hipsters. My opinion hasn’t changed.


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