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This notch was quite special not only because it was my first Ukrainian and she was bloody hot, but because I was very close to walking out on the girl on a few occasions as she was playing silly buggers. There were a few learning points for me, so strap yourselves in, it’s another long one…

It was May day, a public holiday here in Warsaw. I’d done an hours daygame with Mr R before going to meet up with some of the other resident daygamers for dinner. As we were walking down Nowy Swad on our way to the restaurant I spotted a cute little brunette in white trainers, a black just above knee length dress and a black leather jacket. She was just standing there playing on her phone.

Open

“Excuse me, I can see you’re obviously waiting on someone, BUT,  I was walking past and I thought you looked very pretty. I like your all black attire, you look like you could be some sort of international spy on a secret mission…. (smiles, but still no hook)… ok you don’t have to tell me what it is…. You do NOT look Polish though”

HOOK.

The guessing game of nationalities commenced and she finally told me she was Ukrainian. She was here for a few days with her partner and I assumed she meant her boyfriend. We carried on chatting and she pointed to the other side of the road and said “that’s my partner, he is shy to come over because you are here”.

I looked over and saw a chodey looking guy standing there awkwardly not knowing what to do with himself. Good lad.

I asked “so, is that not your boyfriend?”

“No, it’s my business partner”

I asked her what she was doing here and gave her my backstory before I went for the close. I asked for facebook as I thought she might not want to be seen giving her number out to randoms in the street in front of her colleague.

“No, I don’t give my facebook to strangers, there’s a lot of personal things on there, you can have my number but I don’t want my partner to see”.

I turned my back to her partner, pulled out my phone and asked her to tell me her number, I typed it in and quickly put my phone away.

We exchanged pleasantries and I wasn’t expecting to hear from her as she was only in town for a few days, was Ukrainian (I’ve heard these are notoriously difficult to bed) and would be quite busy with work.

Texting


The texting was textbook, but, she didn’t reply to my date confirmation sent at 12.42 on the day of the date. So I photo pinged her at 15:15. Still no reply. I wouldn’t have done this if she was living here.

I was walking down Nowy Swad at around 4pm. Mr R was in set so I was standing nearby waiting for him. I was scrolling through my twitter feed when a girl came up to me and said hi. It was the Ukrainian, Warsaw is small it seems. She looked even hotter than the day before, wearing tight denim jeans which accentuated her peachy little ass. I said hi, she was carrying a map and a little backpack so I teased her on being a typical tourist. She giggled and said “I don’t know if I will make 7pm tonight, is 8pm ok?”.

So she’d clearly seen my messages but not “read” them. I think if I hadn’t bumped into her she would have flaked on the date.

Shortly after this I went to get dinner with Mr R when she messaged me saying she was free and wanted to meet earlier in the old city which is a 15-20 minute walk from where I wanted to meet her and 2 hours earlier. I thought “lose the battle to win the war”.

Date

I ended up meeting her at around 5.45pm near Nowy Swad Metro station (roughly half way). She told me she’d already walked to the Old City so I walked us straight to the nearest coffee shop.

The shit tests began.

“I thought we were going for a walk, I don’t like coffee” she barked

“Just have a juice or something, I’m getting an espresso”. I could see her little eyes spazzing, she wasn’t used to this.

“OK, I’ll have a latte” she relented

“OK, I’ll order it, go grab us those nice seats by the window and I’ll bring it over”. She complied.

As I stood at the counter waiting for the coffees my phone vibrated. It was another girl I’d closed the day before “Pretty girl ;p”. She’d obviously seen me walking with the Ukrainian. I didn’t reply.

I did the comfort fluff with the Ukrainian as we drank our coffees. I found out she was 25, had TWO degrees and was heavily into her fitness. She loved to cook, clean and generally be a woman. This girl was an 8, if a low one. After this I said “let’s walk back towards the city, I want to show you something”.

It was now around 6.30pm and I intended on bouncing her to the Serial Killer Bar before moving her to a bar closer to mine. We got there and the shit tests continued to rain down.

“I don’t want to drink, it’s too early and I don’t like drinking”

“OK, let’s carry on walking” I said.

We walked up to and around the Palace of Culture, she took photos and we chatted some more, she was generally being more pleasant and the shit tests subsided.

I walked us in the direction of Sloik and was expecting more shit tests when we got to the door. To my surprise she said “this looks like a cool bar, are we going in here?”. Yes we are.

We sat on stools at a high table, opposite each other, I ordered a large beer and so did she (so much for not liking drinking). She got some cordial added to her beer and was drinking it out of a straw. I picked up her glass to take a sip from the straw. She pulled it back and barked “get your own straw!”. I nearly got up and left right then and there but I kept my cool and said “you’re a weirdo, aren’t you?”. She didn’t know what a weirdo was, I explained and she confirmed that indeed, she was.

To my surprise she wanted another beer. We got another round and I started the questions game. She hated it and thwarted all of my sexual spiking attempts saying she doesn’t like to talk about such things with “strangers”.

I gave up. I just sat there and drank my beer and let her ramble on about herself. I didn’t give a shit anymore and decided in my head that I was going home after the beer.

We left the bar and I told her I was going home. She said “no, lets go to one more place, I don’t want to go home”. It was now around 9pm, I had nothing better to do so I thought “whats another beer with a pretty girl?” even if nothing happens.

I bounced her to Pictures bar and grabbed a couch in the corner. She went to sit opposite me, I said “no sit here, beside me”. She complied.

We ordered more beers (she was now on her third beer and was a little tipsy). I was still switched off, I let her ramble on, she was showing me lots of photos of herself on her iphone. I wasn’t interested. I got up and went to the toilet. I got back and she asked me if I was bored. “To be honest, yes”. She asked me what I expected from the evening. I leant in, pulled her chin towards me and went for the kiss. She pulled away. I switched back off again and sipped on my beer. I was going to leave after that beer.

She asked me again what I expected, I sighed and went into a bit of a rant…

“Look, what did YOU expect? The first thing I said to you when I met you is that I think you’re pretty. How could you think I wanted to be your friend?… You are only here for a few days, I don’t live in the same city as you so I could clearly never be your boyfriend, there is no long term solution here. I know it’s not normal in your tradition to do such things, but you’re not in your home country, you are on an adventure, how about you live a little?”

She looked shocked and went quiet for a minute.

I went back to sipping my beer. Eventually, she said “so, do you want to kiss me?”. I was now fuming and ready to storm out. “What do you think?!” I retorted.

She asked me the same question again, I grabbed her chin again and THIS time she was all over me, full tongue and we kissed for about 3 minutes. Progress. I finally kissed her almost SIX hours into the date.

We had another drink there and it was now around midnight, they were closing the bar. I suggested we go back to mine. She said she doesn’t do this. She said she would invite me back to her apartment but it is a complete mess. She lived about a 30min walk away.

I tried to reason that I lived a 3min walk away and it was raining, it would be stupid going to hers. We walked outside and I asked her again to come to mine. She said no, I could come to hers but I would have to wait outside while she cleaned the place. I laughed and agreed. We jumped in a cab and we were at hers in 10mins.

We were walking to her door when she said “do you have the things, the fun things?”. I asked her what she meant and she pointed to my crotch. “oh, yeah, they’re here in my jacket poc…” FUCK.

At this point I realised I had no condoms on me, they were in my other daygame jacket zip pocket which was conveniently, in London.

I asked her if she kept any and she said of course not, she was not expecting to have sex on this trip. I said I would pull out before I came and she said “NO!!”. I took out my phone and frantically looked for the nearest shop on google maps, I found a petrol station about a 10min walk away. She said she would come with me. We walked there and I teased her that if she had just have come back to mine there wouldn’t be any of these hassles.

Luckily the shop at the petrol station was open, I bought condoms and we walked back to hers. She made me wait outside her apartment for about 10mins while she tidied her flat.

Sex

When I got in she told me to make myself comfortable, she wanted to take a shower. I did so. She came back out of the shower in just her underwear and a t-shirt. We started kissing, the clothes came off and we had sex. No LMR.

Obviously she insisted I wore the condom, she wouldn’t let me do any other position but missionary and she screamed in pain if I did a full thrust, I’m not particularly big, she was just very tight. As I was fucking her she asked me not to come inside her, I told her I was wearing a condom. She said I know, but don’t come when you’re inside me. She insisted that I pull out before coming even though I was wearing a condom!! I obliged.

Debrief

I asked her when she decided she was going to have sex with me, she said when I kissed her. I asked her how many men she had had sex with before me. She said it was private. I guessed that it was less than 5. She said “Actually, 2”. I believe her.

Biggest Learning Points?

  1. Don’t alway assume the other guy is a boyfriend
  2. Honour your part as a member of the secret society – hid the number close
  3. Girls are ditsy – if i hadn’t have bumped into her, she would have flaked
  4. Warsaw is small
  5. Girls don’t always mean what they say – drank coffee and alcohol when she said she doesn’t drink either
  6. Always have condoms, kids.
  7. Sometimes it is ok, even necessary to lose “the frame”.
  8. You have to be willing to lose the girl and be willing to push, hard.
  9. Ukrainian girls are hot, I want more.

 

 

 

 

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6 thoughts on “Lay Report: Silly Buggers Ukrainian 

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