penelope-cruz-vicky-barcelona-crazy-1050x700.jpg
She’s not as hot as Penelope Cruz, but she’s as equally if not more crazy than her character in VCB.
After getting over the initial depression caused by the steep drop in quality, I was starting to enjoy Warsaw and all its miserable, sopping wet charm.

I have now lost all track of which euro jaunt day number this was, but it was yesterday. I think I am going through a melt-UP, which I will define as the opposite of a melt-down. I’m really enjoying this, there really is nothing better than having nothing better to do but hit on pretty girls. Anyway, I digress…

I was prowling up and down Marszalkowska street taking advantage of the canopy to protect me from the rain.

It was about 3pm when I saw a girl walking quite slowly and dressed formally, with a long blue coat and a big popped collar. I opened her, told her she looked pretty, like a wizard, all she needed now was a pointy beard and hat. She laughed hysterically at my shit opener.

She was short, brunette, with brown eyes and was showing a little bit of cleavage beneath her black blouse. She was 21 and had a French accent, this is my favourite accent on a girl and I told her so. She hooked almost instantly and told me she was having a bad day, she was looking for a bar to drink some wine but none of her friends wanted to join her. Ding, ding, DING, went my SDL radar. DING!

“well, it just so happens my friend is about to go home for the afternoon, so how about me and you go get a glass of wine together?”. She enthusiastically agreed.

I bounced her to a place called Loik which is just behind Marszalkowska street and coincidentally, about a 3min walk from my apartment. We sat opposite each other, I ordered a beer and she, a glass of wine. We went through the normal comfort fluff, I got the bill and said “let’s go to one more place”. Luckily I had done some scouting previous to this and found a dingy little 24hr “club” which is dark all day, has couches, you can smoke inside (she’s a smoker) and is coincidentally even closer to my apartment.

It was all going swimmingly, I had to use very little game, I’m pretty sure it’s all internalised now and I was carrying her through the motions. We sat opposite each other first, then I went to the toilet, came back and sat beside her. We played the questions game and her answers were filthy, this girl was a real outlier and I have never been more certain of a SDL. We had a couple of drinks, followed by shots and I suggested we get a bottle of wine and watch a movie at my place which just so happens to be directly across the street. What a coincidence!

We went to the nearest supermarket and got a bottle of wine, as we were walking back to mine her phone started beeping frantically. I asked her what’s up, she said “oh it’s just my sister she is telling me I need to leave soon”. FUCK.

It was now around 6.30pm, I got her into the apartment and told her not to worry about her sister, she’d be fine. I put on some music and poured us the wine, I didn’t mention the movie. We had one sip each and she pounced on me, kissing with heavy tongue, and teeth. I told her to cut out the teeth and she obliged. I threw her on the bed and starting removing her clothes. There was absolutely no LMR. I got her down to just her panties, I took off my top and fingered her hard, she was wetter than Warsaw itself. I was sucking on her surprisingly large titties when her phone started RINGING. She answered and started screaming frantically down the phone in what was some form of Frolish (French/Polish). This girl was proper bat-shit crazy.

She hung up the phone, jumped up off the bed and started putting her clothes back on whilst having what can only be described as a hissy-fit. She proclaimed her hate for her sister for always fucking shit up for her. I was dumbfounded… “what’s going on?” I asked. She said “that was my sister, I was supposed to be home at 7pm for a family dinner, I need to leave right now”. It was now 7pm.

She asked me if I had facebook, I added her and away she went. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever even hear from her again due to the degree of her complete bonkersness. But she accepted the friend request a short time later and we are now messaging. Hopefully I will get her out again but it seems every girl in Warsaw is away for a full week now. All my leads are on hold because of this.

I went out drinking that evening with an old wing from Manchester, we watched the football and attempted some game in the bars afterwards. I got a little blondie back to my apartment and she wouldn’t even kiss me. I told her she was stupid, opened the door and said “get the fuck out”. It was around 3.30am. What is game turning me into?

Anyway, two near misses in one day. I love daygame, this shit just doesn’t happen to normals.

 

 

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6 thoughts on “Near Miss: Maria Elena

  1. “I was sucking on her surprisingly large titties when her phone started RINGING. She answered and started screaming frantically down the phone in what was some form of Frolish (French/Polish). This girl was proper bat-shit crazy. She hung up the phone, jumped up off the bed and started putting her clothes back on whilst having what can only be described as a hissy-fit.”

    FUCK.

    that’s one crazy near miss. any update on her?

    Like

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